Home Original Content Funny Pictures Funny GIFs YouTube Funny Text Funny Movies Channels Search
hide menu

Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Show:   Highest Rated Newest
auto-refresh every 1 2 3 5 seconds


Per page:
Order:
Latest users (4): haydentheviking, minutes, thecharliesheen, xxdremisterxx, anonymous(52).
Anonymous commenting is allowed
#137817 - saltybanana (06/10/2014) [-]
im curious i wanna start a type of social media thing. but i have no knowledge whats so ever on how to start it.   
   
i was talking to friend at the gym earlier and said todo a pitch and hopefully a company pays me or something like that?   
   
my question is do anyone knows who is giving some sort of help like google, and big companys like that, that are willing tgodo a type asocal media? and how would i be able to present my pitch to them? thanks in advance!!
im curious i wanna start a type of social media thing. but i have no knowledge whats so ever on how to start it.

i was talking to friend at the gym earlier and said todo a pitch and hopefully a company pays me or something like that?

my question is do anyone knows who is giving some sort of help like google, and big companys like that, that are willing tgodo a type asocal media? and how would i be able to present my pitch to them? thanks in advance!!
#137878 to #137817 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx (06/10/2014) [-]
A little more info would be appreciated.
#137880 to #137878 - saltybanana (06/10/2014) [-]
okay this might be tuff to say thru the internet, but basically i wanna do type of social media app. where people can meet up and hang out, as friends. its however you the user see's it  maybe there already something outthere that probably exist but im not to sure if its like my idea.   
   
so basically a buddy of mine is into business and talk about him of my idea, he told me to see if see if company's like google do a some sort of "shark tank type of thing" you know that show where people show them their ideas and they basically give them money support to fund them, and they share a percentage etc.  i was wondering if there is someway i can start and pitch my ideas to someone taht could probably help out?
okay this might be tuff to say thru the internet, but basically i wanna do type of social media app. where people can meet up and hang out, as friends. its however you the user see's it maybe there already something outthere that probably exist but im not to sure if its like my idea.

so basically a buddy of mine is into business and talk about him of my idea, he told me to see if see if company's like google do a some sort of "shark tank type of thing" you know that show where people show them their ideas and they basically give them money support to fund them, and they share a percentage etc. i was wondering if there is someway i can start and pitch my ideas to someone taht could probably help out?
#137884 to #137880 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx (06/10/2014) [-]
I understand exactly what you're saying now.   
It sounds a lot like MeetMe.   
www.meetme.com/   
It's a social media website that connects you with people near you, so you can go and hang out with people. Although, it practically is a dating website.   
As far as the "Shark Tank" thing goes, the closest there is to that would be:   
Google's Science Fair -- 
			
			You need to login to view this link
			
		   
   
Large websites/ companies such as Google, Amazon, Facebook, Twitter, and Yahoo tend to buy out pre-existing large websites/ apps/ services.   
For instance, take a look at:   
Instagram -- Now owned by Facebook   
Whatsapp -- Now owned by Facebook   
Tumblr -- Now owned by Yahoo   
YouTube -- Now owned by Google  (Originally started by two employees of Google; Then bought out.)    
Vine -- Now owned by Twitter.   
   
All of which started out fairly small, grew quickly over time, and caught one such company's eyes and were subsequently bought out.   
Sadly, this is currently the only way to gain attention from these large companies. To become extremely popular.   
   
I've had my fair share of ideas for websites, but once I looked hard enough I found out they already existed.   
Also, unless you have a copyright, trademark, and/ or patent for your idea, then if the companies really wanted your idea they'd ignore you and take your idea.   
   
It's an increasingly tough market to get into. You either do or die; And the longer you wait the more the idea dies.   
If you want what you've envisioned to be a website & app, then by all means go for it.   
Just don't wait too long, eh?   
If you've got any other questions or want help making it, then by all means shoot me a PM.
I understand exactly what you're saying now.
It sounds a lot like MeetMe.
www.meetme.com/
It's a social media website that connects you with people near you, so you can go and hang out with people. Although, it practically is a dating website.
As far as the "Shark Tank" thing goes, the closest there is to that would be:
Google's Science Fair -- You need to login to view this link

Large websites/ companies such as Google, Amazon, Facebook, Twitter, and Yahoo tend to buy out pre-existing large websites/ apps/ services.
For instance, take a look at:
Instagram -- Now owned by Facebook
Whatsapp -- Now owned by Facebook
Tumblr -- Now owned by Yahoo
YouTube -- Now owned by Google (Originally started by two employees of Google; Then bought out.)
Vine -- Now owned by Twitter.

All of which started out fairly small, grew quickly over time, and caught one such company's eyes and were subsequently bought out.
Sadly, this is currently the only way to gain attention from these large companies. To become extremely popular.

I've had my fair share of ideas for websites, but once I looked hard enough I found out they already existed.
Also, unless you have a copyright, trademark, and/ or patent for your idea, then if the companies really wanted your idea they'd ignore you and take your idea.

It's an increasingly tough market to get into. You either do or die; And the longer you wait the more the idea dies.
If you want what you've envisioned to be a website & app, then by all means go for it.
Just don't wait too long, eh?
If you've got any other questions or want help making it, then by all means shoot me a PM.
#137885 to #137884 - saltybanana (06/10/2014) [-]
honestly thanks alot!   
   
ive seen and tried meetme, and its nothing like that. it tought to explain, but ive asked around alot of people for feed back and all of say they've never heard of something of what i told them. i attend different college cause i live the single/broke nigguh life. and i survey people for the fun of it, so far no one has seen what i wanna make    
   
is there some way i can do the app? like just a prototype, i would love to share this with you! just so you can get a taste of my idea.
honestly thanks alot!

ive seen and tried meetme, and its nothing like that. it tought to explain, but ive asked around alot of people for feed back and all of say they've never heard of something of what i told them. i attend different college cause i live the single/broke nigguh life. and i survey people for the fun of it, so far no one has seen what i wanna make

is there some way i can do the app? like just a prototype, i would love to share this with you! just so you can get a taste of my idea.
User avatar #137888 to #137885 - saltybanana (06/10/2014) [-]
like programs for pc that can help me start off?
User avatar #137901 to #137888 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx (06/10/2014) [-]
I would recommend creating a website first, then creating the website.
It's always possible to create a fluid design for the website so it works well with mobile devices.

I only say this because creating a website is easy; Creating an app is hard.

Programming languages to look into:
Building a website: HTML, CSS, JavaScript, and Ruby on Rails.
Recommended programs: Visual Studios for Web You need to login to view this link , Notepad++ notepad-plus-plus.org/ , or Sublime 3 www.sublimetext.com/ .

Programming Apps:
For Android: C++ and Java.
Recommended programs: Android Studio (For C++ and Java) developer.android.com/sdk/installing/studio.html , Visual Studio with Update 2 (For C++) You need to login to view this link , Eclipse (For Java) www.eclipse.org/ide/ , or Sublime 3 (For both) www.sublimetext.com/ .

For iOS: Objective-C.
Recommended programs: Sublime 3 www.sublimetext.com/ ?
I'm not too fond of iOS app development...

Links for more information on creating such things in next comment...
User avatar #137903 to #137901 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx (06/10/2014) [-]
*creating the website first, then the app....
#137973 to #137902 - saltybanana (06/10/2014) [-]
thanks bro this is all good info, couldn't done it without help!
#137816 - anonymous (06/10/2014) [-]
I need help.
I'm having such a hard time with weight loss. I work out everyday, I eat small but filling meals, I drink nothing but water, and I cook all my meals. But no matter what i haven't lost a single fucking pound. It's becoming frustrating because I feel so disgusted with myself, I can hardly look at myself in the mirror when i put on makeup or do my hair, just so i can feel atleast a little pretty. Everyday more and more i hate myself because im a big pile of fat. I don't know what im doing wrong, to not lose weight. Their are days i get so depressed about it that i want to just jump in front of a fucking moving car. Anyone who can help me?

#137827 to #137816 - saltybanana (06/10/2014) [-]
uwww gurrl i like the cut of your jib

woman, me man, me stronk, me teach you ways of the samuri.
honestly girl all i can tell you is, patients. you need to be very patient. you wont loose wait in under a week, unless you have a very fast metabolism. ive been helping out a friend of mine yes shes a woman so i know what im telling you let me ghive you a lil of what i know to date of diets

DIETS are a stoopid name of saying "my fat ass is trying to lose weight" now most of the times when people come up yo me and say"how the hell can i look like you" and i simpley say" smoke about 10packs of cigarettes jimmy" im joking its mostly on how your goals are, i wanna look asethetic like zyzz. so i eat very lean like, but at the same time i eat like a beast caue i wanna get bigger i hope you are saying the trruth about your diet. but rememeber to work out really hard in the gym if you go to the gym

TL; DR eat more protein intake, use your carbs as energy and eat simple carbs such as brown rice, veggies, wheat bread, wheat tortillas,etc get your fats first thing in the morning. such as peanuts, peanut butter, fish oils, and milk dont be scared to lift weights, thats how you manke definition. remember when lifting weight. keep this in your head"im toning, not getting big" helps out my friend all the time
#137831 to #137827 - anonymous (06/10/2014) [-]
Right below you i posted what I do everyday, But i've been doing this stuff since February and im not seeing results It's getting frustrating

I don't go to the gym due to im saving all my money to go to college and I have bills to pay so i work out at home in the mornings before work and after work. I just feel like giving up.
#137836 to #137831 - saltybanana (06/10/2014) [-]
oaky try this guys workouts they helped me when i couldnt afford a gym
www.youtube.com/channel/UCrzICdOsXhtn4zMlk4bnTIg

let me give you meal ex. now dont fucking bitch and say"omfg salty i dont wake up that early or i work during that time" no shut up! move around to help you
6am: 4egg whites with spinach. with a slice of peanut butter on a wheat toast, and oj on the side.
9am: turkey sandwich with spinach no lettuce i dont believe in that nasty green shit tomato, red onions, and dont be scared to add alil mayo, or my fav chipolat southwest. with baked potato chips rememeber the baked ones, not the greasy lays ones ansd water.
12pm: grilled chicken with brown rice, and asparagus, with water on the side.
3pm: same as the 12pm to save money on food.
6pm: greek yoguirt with blueberries or strawberries. and i usually add granola to give it better texture
8pm: this should be your last meal, so nothing with high carbs or else your body will store them as fats.

you can throw in your workouts between the meals. hope this cleared a bit
#137822 to #137816 - anonymous (06/10/2014) [-]
Food: Calorie intake is 1200-1300
Foods: Chicken, veggies, and fruit. lean beef. I portion all of it.
Drinks: Mostly water, tea every now and then, and juice on cheat days
Work out: I do shaun T's rockin body work out, Jump rope three times a week, I go jogging 3 times a week, and On my rest day i do Pilates

My weight is: 206, my height is 5"4, But you can't tell im that big, which is weird.
Im female
User avatar #137897 to #137822 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/10/2014) [-]
Your problem is that you assume running = lose weight. Running effectively will do this, but if you weight 200+ lbs, you won't be getting the AFTERBURN effect.

What you need to do is push yourself to your limits, until it hurts. This will make the metabolism work much harder, which then leads to losing weight. Also, your calorie intake should be 70% of the calorie intake your current weight needs. 1200-1300 is way too low and it won't make the process any faster. If anything, it's dangerous.
User avatar #137844 to #137822 - marinepenguin (06/10/2014) [-]
It's because your calorie intake is way way way too low.

To lose weight you only need to go about 400 calories under your needs. So for you, it should be at least 1600 calories a day. Since you are exercising I would stick around 1800 calories a day.

The problem with eating so few calories is that your body begins to have metabolic damage, it thinks you aren't getting enough food so it slows your metabolism waaaay down. So no matter what you do you won't lose any weight. So what tends to happen is that once you stop exercising you'll actually GAIN a lot of weight.

So my advice to you, eat more! You are eating well, so that isn't a problem. And start lifting weights! That way you'll begin to have more of a curvy look as you lose pure fat and keep the amount of muscle you have. Since you tend to lose about a pound of muscle for every 3 or 4 pounds of fat.
0
#137851 to #137844 - coconuthat has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #137853 to #137851 - marinepenguin (06/10/2014) [-]
Honestly weight loss isn't too difficult if you know what you're doing. Just find out how many calories your body needs, eat less then that, and exercise to get you in shape and increase your metabolism. Once you've reached your goal weight and you want to keep going start to lift weights, and eat slightly more then what your body needs. This is the hard part.

But if you go that route your body will fill out, your ass will get big and tone, your skin will tighten and your boobs will perk up, your arms will become slender yet strong looking, your waist will do the same and your legs will look fantastic.

Feel free to message me if you have any questions.
0
#137855 to #137853 - coconuthat has deleted their comment [-]
0
#137820 to #137816 - coconuthat has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #137818 to #137816 - misanthrizzle (06/10/2014) [-]
Have you heard of a substance under the name "crack"? if you take that while simultaneously learning CSS or reading all of Game of Thrones, you should slim down in no time
#137824 to #137818 - anonymous (06/10/2014) [-]
I've seen it work! My sister is one, but I don't want to become a piece of fucking shit to society!
User avatar #137815 - ugottanked ONLINE (06/10/2014) [-]
So exams are right around the corner, with two tests tomorow piled in

and the one i am worried about is orchestra.

i need to play scales, and my grade is at a 73

i cant read the sheet music for a viola

if i dont pass i might be fucked

any ways to calm myself down?
User avatar #138041 to #137815 - laky (06/11/2014) [-]
Deep breathing and MBSR. Google it.

Stop smoking weed and drinking so often (if you do)

Go for a run (or some type of physical activity)

Eat healthier

Get more sleep

All these are a 100% serious. Many mentors and my counsellor suggested these. I've seen these techniques mentioned in psych textbooks and i've seen studies performed on them. These techniques will bring your overall anxiety levels down almost guaranteed
User avatar #137804 - talonhalfstar ONLINE (06/09/2014) [-]
So I kinda told a girl I like her and I left without really waiting for a response.... I told myself I didn't want one especially since she is leaving for the army in a few weeks or so... but I still feel like I should have asked her if we could hang out together once before she left, but I feel like it's something I should have asked when I was there... and I don't think Facebook is appropriate for asking for a date... I Should call and ask, should I call and ask? Is this what being beta is like, or am I overreacting because I'm socially inept?
#137812 to #137804 - saltybanana (06/10/2014) [-]
uwwww man you gonna be stroking dick butter this summer eheheheh!   
   
relax man, just wait it out. she will probably be needing your support when shes in training. the stuff they do is pretty tuff.  so she will probably want you for a shoulder to lean on n what not.
uwwww man you gonna be stroking dick butter this summer eheheheh!

relax man, just wait it out. she will probably be needing your support when shes in training. the stuff they do is pretty tuff. so she will probably want you for a shoulder to lean on n what not.
User avatar #137807 to #137804 - genericnewfag (06/09/2014) [-]
wait it out
#137798 - anonymous (06/09/2014) [-]
I like having conversations with people on here but I don't really want to have a friend.... if that makes sense... BUT I don't know how to find people to talk to without just going to a random profile.

what do?
#137800 to #137798 - anonymous (06/09/2014) [-]
basically I want to just talk to people.
User avatar #137810 to #137800 - marinepenguin (06/09/2014) [-]
Post random shit on boards
People respond
Respond back
Boom, you're talking to people
#137801 to #137800 - genericnewfag (06/09/2014) [-]
start conversations
#137802 to #137801 - anonymous (06/09/2014) [-]
I know that, but where?

just on boards?
on profiles?
on the toilet stall door?
User avatar #137803 to #137802 - genericnewfag (06/09/2014) [-]
brony board/comments of home page content or come here and answer people's problems
#137805 to #137803 - anonymous (06/09/2014) [-]
I see.
I see.
#137792 - pmilooo (06/09/2014) [-]
anyone got bigger version of this
anyone got bigger version of this
User avatar #137823 to #137792 - bumsnaatcher (06/10/2014) [-]
why do you want that?
User avatar #137821 to #137792 - misanthrizzle (06/10/2014) [-]
bumsnaatcher
#137790 - anonymous (06/09/2014) [-]
Anyone got the gif of the sea bear thing that's pink with a weird face? thanks in advance <3
#137788 - oborawatabinost (06/09/2014) [-]
Anyone have some embarrassing stories regarding their experiences with women to make me feel better?

I had a girlfriend a while back, she dumped me like 7 months ago, but I am very embarrassed by how I acted after she did. I was pretty much begging her to come back, and I didn't have the spine to tell her off like the bitch she was. I'm ashamed to have ever been with her in the first place, but I can't stop brooding over my pathetic behavior then.

Someone outdo me, please.

mfw
User avatar #137883 to #137788 - solareyes (06/10/2014) [-]
I broke up with my boyfriend 7 months ago and he did all sorts of things to get me back...

I don't think I can outdo you, but I did fuck up royally with my current love interest and there's nothing I can do to win him back, nor do I deserve to win him back. Don't worry, you CAN get past it It'll be a story to tell your kids!
User avatar #137889 to #137883 - oborawatabinost (06/10/2014) [-]
Even if I did have kids (unlikely), there's no way I'd tell other people I know about stuff like this.
User avatar #137894 to #137889 - solareyes (06/10/2014) [-]
Retell it more as a "it's not worth going crazy over another person, i've gone through it and it sucks" sort of thing. That's more what I mean.
User avatar #137898 to #137894 - oborawatabinost (06/10/2014) [-]
Yeah, I get what you're saying. I'm not really hung up on her (I'm pretty sure), I've just had a lot of free time lately, the perfect opportunity to torment myself with stuff from the past.
User avatar #137992 to #137898 - solareyes (06/11/2014) [-]
Well I'm glad for you then. And you can always think of it as a lesson if you want
User avatar #137994 to #137992 - oborawatabinost (06/11/2014) [-]
Yeah, it's definitely a lesson. Though I can't see myself really trusting someone like I at first did with her ever again.
#137867 to #137788 - confusedasian (06/10/2014) [-]
I'll "outdo" you.


My name is John. I'm 19 years old turning 20 this year. I still live with my parents. I never had a job and can't get one. Never had a girlfriend. Never had sex. Never been on a date. Never been kissed (romantically).


I'm pathetic.
User avatar #137868 to #137867 - oborawatabinost (06/10/2014) [-]
Well, that was me until about a year ago. Can't go to college or anything?
#137869 to #137868 - confusedasian (06/10/2014) [-]
I'm in a community college in jeopardy of getting kicked out. I'm not the best with my grades and if I can't pull them up they cut me off from student aid and I won't be able to pay for college. I'm very poor. So in a way they're &quot;kicking me out&quot;.   
   
Even in college I have no friends, no one to talk to, and when someone does I can't think of anything to say and I just curl up. I sit in a corner, by the window, in the cafe. I sit away, near a wall, inside my classes. Away from people.
I'm in a community college in jeopardy of getting kicked out. I'm not the best with my grades and if I can't pull them up they cut me off from student aid and I won't be able to pay for college. I'm very poor. So in a way they're "kicking me out".

Even in college I have no friends, no one to talk to, and when someone does I can't think of anything to say and I just curl up. I sit in a corner, by the window, in the cafe. I sit away, near a wall, inside my classes. Away from people.
User avatar #137870 to #137869 - oborawatabinost (06/10/2014) [-]
Shit man, you gotta step up your grades. Can't find a student job?
#137871 to #137870 - confusedasian (06/10/2014) [-]
No.   
   
   
   
I can't get a job anywhere because I lack experience. Need job for experience, can't work without experience. Makes perfect sense. I also lack, whatchumacallsit. References I guess. People they call and talk about you to see if you're good person or not. No friends, and lack of social skills. I'm screwed.
No.



I can't get a job anywhere because I lack experience. Need job for experience, can't work without experience. Makes perfect sense. I also lack, whatchumacallsit. References I guess. People they call and talk about you to see if you're good person or not. No friends, and lack of social skills. I'm screwed.
User avatar #137872 to #137871 - oborawatabinost (06/10/2014) [-]
I haven't had a job yet (getting one at my university next semester though), but I bet if you really tried you can get some shitty menial job that'll be a stepping stone to something else.
#137873 to #137872 - confusedasian (06/10/2014) [-]
I saw a sign a burgerking that said they were hiring. The day before I was going to actually go down and ask for a application, the sign wasn't there anymore. Life is cruel.
I saw a sign a burgerking that said they were hiring. The day before I was going to actually go down and ask for a application, the sign wasn't there anymore. Life is cruel.
User avatar #137874 to #137873 - oborawatabinost (06/10/2014) [-]
My university has a page on their site listing student jobs. Does yours?
#137875 to #137874 - confusedasian (06/10/2014) [-]
Nah I just checked. Only job listings were for teachers or proctors and the like.
Nah I just checked. Only job listings were for teachers or proctors and the like.
User avatar #137876 to #137875 - oborawatabinost (06/10/2014) [-]
Ah, I see. Well, that just means you gotta try a little harder. Maybe ask your parents to help you out with finding one?
#137877 to #137876 - confusedasian (06/10/2014) [-]
Tried. No go. My mom is actually just more concerned with me doing good in school and work out more so I can, in her words &quot;get put more energy&quot;.
Tried. No go. My mom is actually just more concerned with me doing good in school and work out more so I can, in her words "get put more energy".
User avatar #137879 to #137877 - oborawatabinost (06/10/2014) [-]
Well, she's not wrong. Getting your grades up and getting in shape can do wonders, you'd be surprised. My grades have always been good, but in the past 6 months or so I've gotten in pretty good shape, and it does have its benefits. And more than just physical.
#137814 to #137788 - saltybanana (06/10/2014) [-]
B-b-b-bitches n shit but hoes n trixs!   
   
daaayum you made yourself look like a damn fool. thats okay bay-beh, ive done the same shit once, back when i was weeeee lil lad. i meet this chick who was a big stoner. she was slim pretty tall, probaly like 5'10ish no butt no boobs due to much smoking the devils lettuce. but i fell in love with her personality she was funny, thats a turn on for me  aaannnywaaays! whenever she needed money for pot i would give her my dough, she repay me with dah pussi mang. worst mistake, i went deeply broke  so one day to get weed from her dealer, she slept with him, and this guy had a sister who was the queen of spreading rumors. so i think you know what happened after that. yup everyone at school knew. i was a laughing stock, mfw i was the last one that found out.   
   
   
moral of the story i left her ass ASAP! i learned my lesson to not hang out with druggies and what not. so i hope you learned your lesson as well, and improve yourself whenever you get dumped
B-b-b-bitches n shit but hoes n trixs!

daaayum you made yourself look like a damn fool. thats okay bay-beh, ive done the same shit once, back when i was weeeee lil lad. i meet this chick who was a big stoner. she was slim pretty tall, probaly like 5'10ish no butt no boobs due to much smoking the devils lettuce. but i fell in love with her personality she was funny, thats a turn on for me aaannnywaaays! whenever she needed money for pot i would give her my dough, she repay me with dah pussi mang. worst mistake, i went deeply broke so one day to get weed from her dealer, she slept with him, and this guy had a sister who was the queen of spreading rumors. so i think you know what happened after that. yup everyone at school knew. i was a laughing stock, mfw i was the last one that found out.


moral of the story i left her ass ASAP! i learned my lesson to not hang out with druggies and what not. so i hope you learned your lesson as well, and improve yourself whenever you get dumped
#137806 to #137788 - genericnewfag (06/09/2014) [-]
story of my life

was in bed with girl (fully clothed) and shes going on about how many peoples virginitys she's taken (4 to be exact) and i said "pentakill" because she plays League of Legends (I don't) and and and weeeeeelll
User avatar #137797 to #137788 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx (06/09/2014) [-]
It's in the past now.
Sometimes you have to forget the past to look forward to the future.

But anyhow, best I got is a weird story at best.
A few years ago when I was working fast food, I had met this girl. We'll call her Femanon.
Femanon was really chill. At the time, I saw her as the female version of myself.
Anyhow, Femanon and I would always talk at work. We ended up getting pretty close, and after a while I actually started to like her. Then she started saying how I "needed a girl" in my life. How she wanted to play 'Match Maker' with me. Kinda bummed out since, this had to be the friend-zone for sure; I went along with it. She set me up with her best friend. Already this was kind of weird and awkward, but I only did it 'cause I was lonely and thought I was neck-deep in the FZ.
Femanon and her best friend set up a few dates for us to go out on. Now, when I say that, I literally mean all three.
The dates were awkward with the third wheel, and ultimately it ended with her best friend friend-zoning me.
The entire time I thought something was up. Maybe Femanon and her friend are trying to mess with me and pull some elaborate prank?
Nope. It was just a way for Femanon to pretend to date me. Her friend was a surrogate. Anytime her friend would text with me, Femanon would actually be the one with her phone. Anytime I messaged her friend, Femanon would be there telling her what to say. Anytime I went out with her friend, Femanon would be there to listen to every word of it and to join in on the conversation. Femanon had to have control of all contact between her best friend and I.

Eventually, her best friend couldn't take leading the lie anymore and friend-zoned me. I didn't realize what was going on until I started connecting the pieces. Things really started to show when the best-friend's brother started confronting Femanon about it and how wrong it was and how his sister wouldn't participate anymore.

TL;DR
Pretend dated two girls at the same time.
User avatar #137789 to #137788 - sundip (06/09/2014) [-]
In a few days, it's been nearly a year since my ex broke up with me. Don't get me wrong, I've moved on and found myself a new girlfriend who isn't a slut, and I'm much happier with her.

Since that day, June 12th 2013, I regret what unfolded afterwards.

I sent long ass paragraphs to her almost every weekend, telling her how much she meant to me. She read them, and didn't reply after a month. I said how I missed her family, her younger brother and how I always looked out for her. I was always adding then removing her from Facebook because I was too much of a pussy to see what guy's were posting on her Facebook profile.

I cried like a bitch in front of my best friend because I found out she sucked some random guy off who looks like a walrus with glasses. I cried, and cried and cried. I started smoking, a habit which is still happening to this day. I gathered a liver problem through drinking too much alcohol to 'numb the pain' as I told myself.

I lost friends through being too much of a pussy and not moving on. I would talk non-stop about her everyday. I couldn't go a day without think of her even once. A few months onwards, I thought I'd step up my game. Get back out there with people. That didn't last very long and many of them turned me down for talking about my ex too much.

I swear it was worse, and I'm probably missing a few key things out, but that's what I got.
User avatar #137791 to #137789 - oborawatabinost (06/09/2014) [-]
Damn, that is pretty bad. But thanks, though. I like to think that the important part is that I know better and that I won't let shit like that happen again, but it's still so fucking embarrassing.
User avatar #137794 to #137791 - sundip (06/09/2014) [-]
I also posted her frequently for advice on how to get her back.

I should probably delete those.
User avatar #137795 to #137794 - sundip (06/09/2014) [-]
*Here..
User avatar #137793 to #137791 - sundip (06/09/2014) [-]
When you can laugh at yourself about it, it's a good but terrible feeling. I regret almost everything that I did.

I can use this experience for my children one day. If they ever endure what I went through and re-enact every aspect of my moving on stage, I will undoubtedly kick them in the throat.
User avatar #137796 to #137793 - oborawatabinost (06/09/2014) [-]
Yeah, I get that. Hell, most of the time I don't even want another girl.
User avatar #137785 - historia (06/09/2014) [-]
I only get aroused at kinky stuff lately. How do I make myself get hard for normal stuff again? Should I stop fapping all together or should I force myself to fap to regular sexy stuff?
User avatar #138043 to #137785 - laky (06/11/2014) [-]
Stopping for a while makes you become normal again. DON'T STOP COMPLETELY THOUGH That can fuck you up mentally
User avatar #138058 to #138043 - historia (06/11/2014) [-]
Once every couple days and only to normal stuff then?
User avatar #138067 to #138058 - laky (06/11/2014) [-]
abstain for a bit less than a week (or however long you feel like). You'll naturally become turned on by normal shit. You won't even have to force yourself.

Idk how often you should fap while still being attracted to normal shit. You be the judge of that. Just wing it man
User avatar #137799 to #137785 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx (06/09/2014) [-]
Stop fapping for a while.

The longer you go the less desensitized you'll be.
User avatar #137787 to #137785 - oborawatabinost (06/09/2014) [-]
I think stopping for a while should help.
#137782 - anonymous (06/09/2014) [-]
Doing this on anon because most users go on an Autistic rage when a user discusses their sex life.

Basically, sex hurts my girlfriend.

We're relatively long distanced, and only see each other for weekends and the occasional week when the opportunity arises, but I'd say it's frequent. I've recently been recommended to buy lubrication to make it easier. But seeing as most my previous sexual partners have had no problem without using lube, I've never actually used it. Since she doesn't like how much it hurts (We were completely fine without it before, she's just found it more painful recently), my sex-life with her is starting to fail miserably.

But anyway, back to the point. I don't know where to rub that shit, how much to put on myself, how much to put on her and if it makes a great substitute for slip-and-slides at childrens birthday parties.

Enlighten me on lubrication and it's many wonders of how it actually fucking works.
User avatar #137886 to #137782 - solareyes (06/10/2014) [-]
Ok. First of all, that should be alarming that sex is starting to hurt your girlfriend. She really should get that checked out cuz that's a symptom for lots of diseases. I'm not exactly sure what, but I do remember sex ed courses and stuff where "painful intercourse" was a symptom. It's also a common side effect for different vaginal things, so find out if she's changed something up down there.

Does she get wet/aroused at all? Cuz that definitely calls for painful sex if she's dry down there. Trust me, it's pretty bad for both parties. If shes dry, try going for a little more foreplay, eat her out. Saliva works as a pretty good lube as well.

As for actual lubes and stuff, you can put some on your fingers and rub around her lips and a tad on the inside. Finger her with your fingers lubed. When you fuck her, put more on your dick head and rub it up and down her opening, put more lube on your dick and rub the lube down your shaft, then put yet some more on the head and go in. Good luck with your sex life man! And people go on an autistic rage if you're a female user
User avatar #137896 to #137886 - solareyes (06/10/2014) [-]
Oh, maybe even look into new things for the both of you to try out, like a fantasy she has, something you both have been thinking of doing for a while, etc. Spice things up a bit and have her talk about what she wants to do and do it. Might make her wetter. I don't know your sex life, that's on you, but changing things up a bit may help.
User avatar #137808 to #137782 - genericnewfag (06/09/2014) [-]
fuck knows just lube it up like its a bike chain and have at it
User avatar #137783 to #137782 - makotoitou (06/09/2014) [-]
just do kinky shit
#137775 - confusedasian (06/09/2014) [-]
I need writing/grammar help. I wrote an essay and my teacher underlined a sentence saying it's a fragment. I don't see him until tomorrow night, any chance you guys can help me?

The sentence: Seeing the difference with the doll's skin color with views of "good" and "bad".

And this is the sentence after he underlined it and changed the first word: They saw the difference with the doll's skin color with views of "good" and "bad".

So is he calling the first sentence a fragement? Or did he change the word "Seeing" in to another word to make it better, but it's still a sentence fragment?

Also the one that confused me the most.

My sentence: In 2008 Eula Biss wrote about two Long Island couples.

When he corrected it: In 2008, Eula Biss wrote about two Long Island couples.

Do you always put the comma after a year? Also, he underlined wrote. What does he mean by that? I'd ask him, but I don't want to wait until tomorrow night.
User avatar #137776 to #137775 - makotoitou (06/09/2014) [-]
The first lacks a subject. Who saw the difference?

The second uses a comma for spacing and sentence flow.
#137777 to #137776 - confusedasian (06/09/2014) [-]
Okay so he added "They saw" to fix it. What about the second sentence when he underlined wrote? Did I use the wrong word?
User avatar #137778 to #137777 - makotoitou (06/09/2014) [-]
no, it was the comma. not sure why he underlined that since the rest of the sentence is the same.
#137779 to #137778 - confusedasian (06/09/2014) [-]
Alright then, thank you.
#137745 - hellsinglover (06/09/2014) [-]
ANIME BOARD CEASES CONTROLL OVER ALL BOARDS
#137771 to #137745 - thedeadpidgeon (06/09/2014) [-]
In order to cease control you need to have it in the first place....

A little advice for the advice board. seize control over some knowledge of spelling.
User avatar #137743 - larsfillmore (06/09/2014) [-]
Am I over thinking some of this shit or is it reasonable?
User avatar #137744 to #137743 - thethirddoctor (06/09/2014) [-]
What's bothering you?
User avatar #137746 to #137744 - larsfillmore (06/09/2014) [-]
Basically a trust thing with a girl Who would have thought
she said she likes me and loves me all that stuff then I find out she has a meetme account and some of the things the guys are saying to her gets me thinking a little about what i can't see but what i can see is that she doesn't reply with the stuff she says to me but then again i can't see the messages
User avatar #137748 to #137746 - thethirddoctor (06/09/2014) [-]
Hmm. If I'm to understand this correctly, she is having a profile on a dating app, where you can see other people's questions, and her replies? And she replies differently to them, than what she's been telling you?
User avatar #137750 to #137748 - larsfillmore (06/09/2014) [-]
No she didn't tell me that she had the account there. There's guys flirting with her on there and it worries me that i can't see the messages mainly because i feel like im never good enough and that she may end up cheating...
User avatar #137759 to #137750 - laky (06/09/2014) [-]
Some of your worries could be justified, but it seems more like your low self-esteem is taking over your thoughts. Just acknowledge that you are worrying a bit too much. Remember that she did choose you to be her boyfriend and she does respect you. Whatever else happens is a natural progression of life
User avatar #137756 to #137750 - thethirddoctor (06/09/2014) [-]
Then I would confront her about having an account there. Not in an aggressive way or anything. It's not like she's cheating (I think). I don't know of this site you are referring to, but she might just be using socially. Getting compliments from strangers is something people get a thrill out of. Don't be afraid, if you worry this much, there's a strong feeling present at least. If the guys flirting are really obvious and crude, you should definatley talk to her about it. Tell her what you feel. Girls loves emotion.
User avatar #137758 to #137756 - larsfillmore (06/09/2014) [-]
You're right and i did just see it she's only looking for friends on there(Thats what it says) i feel a bit stupid now but thank you
User avatar #137760 to #137758 - thethirddoctor (06/09/2014) [-]
Haha. I'm glad to help. It's easy to obsess over minor things when you are in a relationship. But it's almost always not what one might think. I hope you'll be happy together.
User avatar #137763 to #137760 - larsfillmore (06/09/2014) [-]
I hope that you find a person to be with too or be happy with who you are with
User avatar #137764 to #137763 - thethirddoctor (06/09/2014) [-]
Thank you. Still looking for someone. Sigh.
User avatar #137773 to #137764 - larsfillmore (06/09/2014) [-]
You'll meet someone sometime somewhere it took me a long time to find this one since i lived in the city and shes more of a country one
User avatar #137740 - georgesmoustache (06/09/2014) [-]
I need to revise for my psychology tomorrow but I won't do it, any help or ideas?
User avatar #137811 to #137740 - Mortuus (06/10/2014) [-]
Think about why you won't do it, then fucking do it you procrastinating bastard.
User avatar #137774 to #137740 - iridium (06/09/2014) [-]
do it.
User avatar #137725 - whatdafuq (06/09/2014) [-]
Well I am alone... Had this girl which I talked to frequently and it was just magical. She was beautiful, liked the things I liked and we even shared the humor. So today was our first date, we said we will meet up at my place, go for a walk and then watch a movie. Long story short. I was going for a walk, watching the movie - all alone. Feeling like a fucking piece of shit right now... If you want to hate, do it idc, but advice to deal with that would be very appreciated
User avatar #137767 to #137725 - laky (06/09/2014) [-]
She has anxiety.

A few of my close friends have it and it`s a real pain to deal with because they always flake out and then give bullshit excuses or don`t even respond to your texts/calls. I mean, any girl would meet up if they said they would. Even if they`re a bit nervous or there is a lack of intimacy they would still meet up. To me, this looks like anxiety.

If she really does have anxiety you`ll have to accept it and deal with her being that way or just stick to talking to her online. Just make her feel comfortable whichever decision she makes.

Also maybe you want to probe her a bit top kek . Pull out her insecurities and be the judge of whether she is actually suffering from anxiety or is a complete bitch. Be really open with her when you do it and make sure she knows you won`t judge her as a person no matter what she says. That is really important if you are having intimate conversations.

To summarize it all up bro it`s her, not you cliche as fuck . But you have to decide whether you will accept her and learn to deal with her or not.

Good luck broski
User avatar #137769 to #137767 - whatdafuq (06/09/2014) [-]
Yeah but how will I know if its anxiety if she doesn't even respond - I haven't been pushy or off putting. I was just writting "Hallo?" when she was 40 minutes late and then "Are you allright?" whe it was like 3 hours late. Normally I would agree you with that "it is her" but I've seen enough to know that it is me. I have had 1 girlfriend in my live - it lasted for 3 years and I have never had another girl falling in love with me (no matter what feelings I had towards others)
User avatar #137770 to #137769 - laky (06/09/2014) [-]
You have no control of that situation then. You can try to message her in a month again or something like that and see if she responds. Did she give you a phone number? Another thing which you could do is send her a paragraph like answer tonight or something

These are all just ideas. I can't guarantee they will work
User avatar #137772 to #137770 - whatdafuq (06/09/2014) [-]
Yah I have her phone number but what would I write her tonight? I am bad with those things and don't want her to see me as if I would stick to her (don't know how you say to that in america/england. Like beeing attached just to her) or such things as that is told to be bad and stuff.

And yeah I know that you cant know - but your advice is still better than my version as it says - close the windows, close the door, fall in love with a dinosaur (fuck I am so unfunny when I am in bad mood)
User avatar #137761 to #137725 - thatnigger (06/09/2014) [-]
Have you called her before? Just give her a call again if you have. If she doesn't pick up, you know something's wrong.
User avatar #137762 to #137761 - whatdafuq (06/09/2014) [-]
Nah we never phoned - I am way to shy for that - Yeah I now pretty sassy but fuck that, thats how I am. Desperate enough that even thatnigger gives me advice now (sorry thought that was hilarous)
User avatar #137765 to #137762 - thatnigger (06/09/2014) [-]
Meh, nah I get embarrassed as well... I sorta get what it. Hope nothing is wrong. If she was just too shy to come see you or something, just talk more and hope this doesn't affect you both.
User avatar #137766 to #137765 - whatdafuq (06/09/2014) [-]
Well for now I even need to hope that there isn't a funny dickhead on the other side making fun of me - then I can hope that it doesn't affect it :/
User avatar #137747 to #137725 - larsfillmore (06/09/2014) [-]
Did you ask her why she didn't come?
User avatar #137749 to #137747 - whatdafuq (06/09/2014) [-]
She said she would be here at 3pm and I asked if everything is ok at around 4:30 pm - she was online since that at least 3 times for about 3-5 minutes...
User avatar #137751 to #137749 - larsfillmore (06/09/2014) [-]
Any idea what she was doing online since i know sometimes if im logged in on my phone it'll say im on even when im not
User avatar #137752 to #137751 - whatdafuq (06/09/2014) [-]
Na she was on several times - normally that means she is online because that was until today just visible when a few seconds later she was typing
User avatar #137753 to #137752 - larsfillmore (06/09/2014) [-]
Still my phone does that with random "Check ins" and typing?
User avatar #137754 to #137753 - whatdafuq (06/09/2014) [-]
Well I might give her 1-2 days until she answers - but there is no reason that she would wait with answering it
User avatar #137755 to #137754 - larsfillmore (06/09/2014) [-]
Know any of her friends? You could ask them too
User avatar #137757 to #137755 - whatdafuq (06/09/2014) [-]
Unfortunately not
User avatar #137726 to #137725 - herblegerble (06/09/2014) [-]
Im confused, what happened?
Did you get stood up?
User avatar #137727 to #137726 - whatdafuq (06/09/2014) [-]
She never showed up...
User avatar #137728 to #137727 - herblegerble (06/09/2014) [-]
So yes.
Have you tried asking her about it? There could be a legit reason that she hasn't/doesn't want to tell you. She might be having family problems or some shit.
User avatar #137729 to #137728 - whatdafuq (06/09/2014) [-]
She said she would be here at 3pm and I asked if everything is ok at around 4:30 pm - she was online since that at least 3 times for about 3-5 minutes...
User avatar #137730 to #137729 - herblegerble (06/09/2014) [-]
Has she seen your messages for sure?
Are there other ways of contacting her?
User avatar #137731 to #137730 - whatdafuq (06/09/2014) [-]
Yeah 100% sure she saw them. I could call her, but if she doesn't want to reply, she will absolutely not pick up.
User avatar #137732 to #137731 - herblegerble (06/09/2014) [-]
It could always be that she got nervous, freaked out, didn't show up and now feels really embarrassed to have to explain that to you.
You have a couple of options;
Keep trying. Send her texts or call her or stuff like that and see if you can get her to respond.
What for a day or two and try again, maybe she will have calmed down and had time to think.

Do you see her at school at all?
User avatar #137733 to #137732 - whatdafuq (06/09/2014) [-]
Emberassing thing but I am not at school anymore. I am old enough to drink alcohol in the states and still I am acting like a bitch if it comes to things like that ^^ No I don't meet her at places where I go and would also not meet her if I tried to go to her places as there would just be her university and that is a big one!
User avatar #137734 to #137733 - herblegerble (06/09/2014) [-]
Not that embarrassing. It's not for everyone. As long as you've got something else to do.

In that case, the only thing that you can do (if you really want resolution of the situation and to find out why, which I would in this case) is to keep trying. Maybe, like I said, wait a day or two so she can cool off or whatever, then try again.
User avatar #137735 to #137734 - whatdafuq (06/09/2014) [-]
Some backgroundinformation: I never met her in real life before even though she lives near my place (30 minutes by car) and now my brain goes off with:"Probably just someone who played a game with you and laugs his ass of right now" and yeah I have been lied to my whole life from everyone and therefore I have some psychological problems with trust and yeah...
User avatar #137736 to #137735 - herblegerble (06/09/2014) [-]
Oh. Well thats pretty darn important.
In that case, I'm not really sure what you could do. Have you seen her face or anything on webcam or something? Because if you haven't you could be right about some guy doing it as a joke.
User avatar #137737 to #137736 - whatdafuq (06/09/2014) [-]
Nah I got timestamp pics (not faked, I'd see that) so the only conclusion is that a beautiful girl had awfully fun with pranking me
User avatar #137738 to #137737 - herblegerble (06/09/2014) [-]
People are good at that stuff. What makes you think that you would see it?
User avatar #137739 to #137738 - whatdafuq (06/09/2014) [-]
I am using photoshop since 10 years around and most fakes I can see - at least amateur fakes. If she/he faked it - that must've been an art student
User avatar #137741 to #137739 - herblegerble (06/09/2014) [-]
Ah. Well then I don't really know where to go from here.
Sorry mate, good luck with this girl.
User avatar #137742 to #137741 - whatdafuq (06/09/2014) [-]
Anyway thank you for your time and affords!
User avatar #137722 to #137719 - marinepenguin (06/09/2014) [-]
School has been over for me for a month now and this made me feel good.
#137718 - princessren (06/09/2014) [-]
this may sound stupid
but does anyone know how to cook canned tuna?
User avatar #137809 to #137718 - genericnewfag (06/09/2014) [-]
its already cooked

trust me i am chef
#137781 to #137718 - confusedasian (06/09/2014) [-]
Do you mean recipes like sugio said?

I don't know the specifics, but I had a really good tuna sandwich when I was a young kid. If I remember correctly: bread, tuna (canned is alright), oranges (pulp, but you can sqeeze the juice from one just not too much), mayonaise, and lettuce.

The bread I would recommend the baker style ones. Like baguettes. The ones on French cartoons where they're sticking out of the brown bag. That one. Toast it a bit. Mix tuna, orange pulp/juice, and mayonaise together. Put however much you'd like. Don't add a lot of orange juice though. It would really mess it up that's why I say pulp. Take just a little bit, enough to fit a dime and sprinkle it in. Leave the tuna mix in the fridge until your bread is done getting toasty and then smack it in the bread. Nice sandwich. If you like it hot then just heat the mix a little. As for the lettuce, I like it, but if you don't you don't have to put it in. I'd put some chopped lettuce and tomatoes in it. Maybe cucumbers in now that I really think of it.
User avatar #137724 to #137718 - makotoitou (06/09/2014) [-]
>cook
>canned
#137723 to #137718 - dehumanizer ONLINE (06/09/2014) [-]
dont they like, cook it before they can it?
User avatar #137720 to #137718 - sugoi (06/09/2014) [-]
Do you mean like... recipes?
www.taste.com.au/how+to/articles/5543/10+fast+meals+with+canned+tuna
First google result because I'm lazy.
#137716 - anonymous (06/09/2014) [-]
ip banned from twitch how do i fix this or does anyonehave a proxy or w/e im autistic pls help
User avatar #137721 to #137716 - sugoi (06/09/2014) [-]
Use ToR
Use web Proxy
Download a VPN
Go to a friends house
Go bum at a starbucks
Steal your neighbours wifi
Quit being a dick on twitch and getting IP Banned whoops too late.
#137780 to #137721 - anonymous (06/09/2014) [-]
got viewbotted and i sent them a support thing they havent answered in 2 weeks
#137697 - thatcreepingfeelin (06/09/2014) [-]
hi advice, i'm not very good at socializing. i'm fine at starting a conversation, but something about the idea of holding a conversation seems so foreign to me, even for as little as fifteen minutes. especially as it pertains to keeping the conversation both interesting and involving with different conversational topics, which, by the way, i have no grasp of how to transition smoothly from topic to topic without feeling like i'm dominating the conversation. even more so in conversations with complete strangers. so i must ask, how do i become a better conversationalist and be more interesting. also, what kinds of things should i talk to people about, especially when meeting new people, to keep the conversation flowing, fresh, and involving."
#137712 to #137697 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx (06/09/2014) [-]
I would like to say that practice helps.
Just generally putting yourself out there more to talk more often with people.
But it won't give you content to fill conversational voids with... It'll make transitioning into different topics easier. Although, most of the time other people will transition the topic before you can.

I know exactly how you feel here, and for the most part your situation could just be not having enough to talk about.
For instance, I'll admit that I spend a hefty chunk of my day on FunnyJunk and YouTube.
Both of which are not great conversation pieces to people who don't go to FunnyJunk, and to people who don't have the same taste in YouTube videos.

As boring as this may sound; You should read the news more often.
While I doubt TotalBiscuit would be a great conversation piece, I'm sure that 'Facebook listening in on your phone's microphone when creating a status' would get people talking for a while, and even branching off into different things. Sauce: arstechnica.com/business/2014/05/passive-listen-will-soon-be-enabled-for-facebook-app-during-status-updates/ Things like this are great because it already hits common ground with most people, and chances are they don't know about the new feature yet..

Also, viral videos are also definitely great conversational pieces.

You can broaden your daily-internet-intake by browsing Reddit.
You are bound to find tons of viral videos and recent and highly interesting news.

Fair warning, though: Not making it a point to remember potentially great things on Reddit, will cause all information seen on Reddit to be stored in the short-term memory bank and forgotten. It's a hit or miss if you'll remember anything seen on Reddit mid-conversation. Especially if you're nervous. If you're nervous your mind is just going to go blank. You'll have Jamais Vu, for sure. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamais_vu

So maybe start browsing Reddit? It's worth a shot.
User avatar #137832 to #137712 - yoloswagnoscope (06/10/2014) [-]
Go fuck yourself
This isn't even qualified for being feeled.
#137842 to #137832 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx (06/10/2014) [-]
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
User avatar #137713 to #137712 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx (06/09/2014) [-]
Note:

If you do choose to take up Reddit, start off by making an account on the computer and jumping to Bacon Reader. (If you have a smart-phone/ tablet, that is.)

Also, if you think Reddit just isn't for you, then go out and read the news more often.
Take a chance with YouTube's stupid Spotlight channel and watch the videos from there.
User avatar #137686 - winners (06/09/2014) [-]
pretty sure i have bed bugs. ive been itchy for like a week every night. stayed at a hotel one night and didnt itch at all. came back to my bed and started itching again.
User avatar #137717 to #137686 - stiltsformidgets (06/09/2014) [-]
I had bed bugs, they give really nasty bites that come out in itchy lumps that last for days, kinda looks like a heat rash.

If you suspect an infestation though then hoover (vaccum) your mattress, wash your pillows and quilt, and change your bedding. That's how i got rid of mine.
User avatar #137882 to #137717 - winners (06/10/2014) [-]
damn it could be heat rash too i despise the heat and its been hot. havent looked into symptoms of that
#137693 to #137686 - thedeadpidgeon (06/09/2014) [-]
look at the seem of your mattress. if there are a bunch of little brown dots then that's crap and it came from bugs. if that's true, then you have only one choice.

burn your house down. furniture and all. plus your clothes. that is the only way to get rid of them.

In all seriousness though, first thing you want to do is figure out which rooms have bugs, and close them off. DO NOT SLEEP IN A ROOM WITH BED BUGS. DO NOT STORE CLOTHES IN SAID ROOMS. DO NET LET PETS IN ANY OF THOSE ROOMS. you want to wash all clothes thoroughly with bleach, and get some kind of bed bug spray and spray the threshold of the doors to deter them from traversing rooms. When a bed in my house got infested, we were able to isolate them to one room and basically gave it a wide birth. It took nine months before we stopped seeing live bugs, and then we waited another six months just in case. If they're all over your house. I refer you to my second paragraph.
User avatar #137689 to #137686 - sugoi (06/09/2014) [-]
Boil everything.
Also you could just have bad... bedding? Dunno the word for it, either way check for bites, if yes then boil everything, if no then buy new bedding shit.
User avatar #137687 to #137686 - awesomerninjathing (06/09/2014) [-]
dont let the bed bugs bite
 Friends (0)