Upload
Login or register
Highest Rated Newest
auto-refresh every 1 2 3 5 seconds
Anonymous comments allowed.
#178361 - logickid
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
>got some girl to agree going with me to a dance
MFW
#178363 to #178361 - sugoi
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
How much did you pay her?
srs doe gj
#178359 - egoralexeev
Reply -1
(03/19/2015) [-]
smoothmofo mass down thumbing can get you banned.
#178358 - bananaforlife ONLINE
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
Anyone feel like talking? It's been a rough couple of days :/
#178378 to #178358 - iliekcereal
Reply +1
(03/20/2015) [-]
slide into my DM's, brah
#178413 to #178378 - bananaforlife ONLINE
Reply 0
(03/20/2015) [-]
is that a yes?
#178433 to #178413 - iliekcereal
Reply 0
(03/20/2015) [-]
yes, that is a yes
#178435 to #178433 - bananaforlife ONLINE
Reply 0
(03/20/2015) [-]
ok, it's been a few stressful months with school and my sister was diagnosed with a chronic illness in november and she's been in and out of the hospital since then (she was readmitted yesterday). It's putting stress on me and my parents (I still live at home, as does she), and it's quite stressful. We've tried to mitigate this by going for a family vacation somewhere but every time we get close to the date we were going to go, she gets thrown back in the sick tank. It's just pretty stressful right now.
#178436 to #178435 - iliekcereal
Reply 0
(03/20/2015) [-]
damn dude. that's rough. i've never had a sick family member, but i can't imagine what i'd do if someone close to me were that sick. especially my sister. can i ask what she's sick with? do the doctor's think it's threatening, or just something she's having a hard time getting over?
#178438 to #178436 - bananaforlife ONLINE
Reply 0
(03/20/2015) [-]
it's called ulcerative colitis. it's not life threatening, but it sucks. Basically it's where you get some kind of minor infection, like a stomach flu, and your immune system supresses it. But it can't stop suppressing it, even after the infection is gone, which leads to damage to the colon and a whole bunch of other crap that goes with that. It's a genetic thing too, so they can alleviate the symptoms, but it won't go away for good and she might have flare ups in the future.
#178439 to #178438 - iliekcereal
Reply 0
(03/20/2015) [-]
well at least it's not too serious. but i can imagine it must be stressful watching her go through that regularly. if it's genetic does that mean you're at risk for it? what's the worst that could happen to her colon?
#178441 to #178439 - bananaforlife ONLINE
Reply 0
(03/20/2015) [-]
I could get it, yeah. My great grandmother had it too, so I might get it. the worst that would happen (which is becoming more and more likely) is that they surgically remove the damaged section of the colon and replace it with a bag, which would cause all sorts of problems
#178463 to #178441 - iliekcereal
Reply 0
(03/21/2015) [-]
hey, sorry, i had to go to classes

and what type of problems could that cause?
#178356 - friendlypitbull
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
Does anyone have the reaction pic of this guy but he's like cartoonized?
#178412 to #178356 - oxidoferroso
Reply 0
(03/20/2015) [-]
Nope, don't have it
#178354 - iliekcereal
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
how do i complain to my school about it sucking? I go to a very expensive university, which is fine, because I got financial aid and the quality of education is good, but there's so many shitty things here. the wifi and printers almost never work, the laundry rooms are too small/underequipped. the science building is severely outdated and under stocked in some supplies. there's only one dining hall with not a lot of choices, unhealthy food, outrageous prices, and little variation from day to day. it's just a lot of little problems like these that make it hard to enjoy being here
#178352 - novahot
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
hey advice, im sort of conflicted, between buying 2 laptops, mainly for gaming purposes inb4 lol laptop for gaming, what a casual . so here are the specs of both-

hp envy - intel i7 4c core processeur
750 gb memory
4g ram
Nvidia Geforce gt 740 m 2gb
or
Asus- intel i5 2c core
1tb memory
6 gb memory
nivide Ge force Gtx 850 m 2gb

im sure the asus is better, but yea just asking for some advice.
#178364 to #178352 - youngneil
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
The Asus has the better graphics card (from what I can tell), and I'm pretty sure games these days don't rely too heavily on the CPU anymore. I'd say go for the Asus.
#178355 to #178352 - advice
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
hurr durr buy a mac
#178353 to #178352 - novahot
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
6gb ram for asus*
#178351 - egoralexeev
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#178331 - confusedasian
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
I started playing guitar yesterday and the tips of my fingers were fine at first then it started hurting after about 2 hours of playing/learning. Today I pick up my guitar and I pressed down on the strings and immediately I felt the pain and the little marks from the strings. Is this normal? Should I take a day break or something? I really don't want to.
#178357 to #178331 - friendlypitbull
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
It's normal. Keep going. You can do it!
#178341 to #178331 - supertanto
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
Yes this is very normal. It is basically the guitar players equivalent of being sore. Either power through if you can handle the pain or just take a break. I find soaking finger tips in warm/hot water helps but I wouldn't play guitar with wet fingers
#178345 to #178341 - confusedasian
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
Yeah, I decided to keep going. I was focusing on playing that the pain wasn't very noticable. I felt it, just pressed on. I'll try the water thing. Thank you.
#178342 to #178341 - derpityhurr
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
wow a serious post by tanto
im impressed
#178343 to #178342 - supertanto
Reply +1
(03/19/2015) [-]
Actually what I meant to say was stick afflicted fingers up anus, magical poop juice heals all guitar related injuries
#178344 to #178343 - derpityhurr
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
10/10
#178336 to #178331 - confusedasian
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
I think I bruised the tips actually. They're darker red almost purple. Sucks have small sensitive hands. If I put like tape or a band aid over them can I still play? Like they'll still grow calisuse and toughen up so they stop hurting?
#178339 to #178336 - anon
Reply +1
(03/19/2015) [-]
Gotta play more. Your fingers need calicoes.
#178386 to #178339 - CallMeCrisco
Reply 0
(03/20/2015) [-]
Anon knows what's up, even if he cannot spell calluses.
#178325 - pocoloco
Reply +1
(03/19/2015) [-]
Hey fj. Just found out my dad could have beginnings of dementia. I´ve noticed him behaving strangely. Now he doctor says theres a chance. He said its possible. I dont know what to do. I dont know what to think. I want to help but I also want to be as far away as I can be. I dont know what the fuck to do. Ive had my life figured out since the day I can remember. my future is settled to be good. My life was not easy. Had to overcome lots of things. Lots of bad memories. Now I have a gf I love with all my heart and for once I had the feeling that everything will be allright. My future, a family, happieness. And now this... Why me? Why the fuck me? What the fuck did I do? I am so mad at myself because I feel that I havent been the son I couldve. Is it because of that? Some kind of punishment? What the fuck am I supposed to do? I want to go. I want to move out somehow. But I also want to be a good son. I just wanted to be fucking happy.
#178346 to #178325 - livinglegacy
Reply +1
(03/19/2015) [-]
I always felt like I was never the son I could have been with my dad before I lost him a year and a half back. After he died, I found out I was everything he wanted me to be; happy. That's all fathers want, I think. Just be there for/with him while you can. That's all you can do. Just spend as much time with him as you possibly can, because he'll still remember them somewhere, man, dementia or not. Good luck.
#178340 to #178325 - peepeepoopooanon
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
Poop and pee in his mouth
#178308 - mightypower
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
I have a question to anyone who can help. I need a website where you submit a text you want to be corrected by a native speaking person in the language your text is in. Any help is much appreciated. Or if anyone here wants to reply with a text about 100 words long on what they feel is a good meaning of life, I would be very thankful, cheers.
#178329 to #178308 - confusedasian
Reply +1
(03/19/2015) [-]
I'm not 100%, but I'm sure it's this site. You need to make an account though. It's free or membership. If nothings changed, people will make a statement and you correct it. For example, an Asian (me) wants to learn English to understand dank memes and white girls, we'll try to write a paragraph describing a bathroom. A native English speaker can come in and correct us and tell us how we did.

This is what you're asking for right?
#178332 to #178329 - mightypower
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
Thanks so much, that is exactly what I was looking for
#178333 to #178332 - confusedasian
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
Yeah. I saw your other comment down below. Are you learning English? From what looks of it, it looks fine.
#178334 to #178333 - mightypower
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
No I am a native speaker, I just need loads of texts from non native speakers, but i can not seem to find a place that has the idea where you submit a text you right and it is corrected for you. I need the texts for a research project of mine
#178335 to #178334 - confusedasian
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
Oh. Busuu does that if I remember correctly. I used it a while back same with duolingo. Look them up, maybe they can help you too. I think they do it too, but I don't remember any feature like that.
#178337 to #178335 - mightypower
Reply +1
(03/19/2015) [-]
Ye I know what you mean, I am just flying through the basics for the english and I am then going to see if this site does it Cheers bro, may the dank memes always be with you.
#178330 to #178329 - confusedasian
Reply +1
(03/19/2015) [-]
PFFFFT, I forgot the link. Sorry.

www.busuu.com/about
#178328 to #178308 - confusedasian
Reply +1
(03/19/2015) [-]
Fuck, I know one that does exactly what you want, but I can't put my finger on the name. Give me a moment, I remember I signed up for it some time ago.
#178309 to #178308 - anon
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
Might help if you tell us what language it is.
#178310 to #178309 - mightypower
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
Sorry, English please. I am doing a project on non-native English speakers, and I need around 100 texts of data. I have ~70 and if I could find a website where people submit their English to be corrected that would help a lot.
#178306 - anon
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
I've been drinking for 8 years, and recently whenever I do, if it's a small amount, a shitload, or anywhere inbetween, I wake up with thick saliva coating my uvula, which usually triggers my gag reflex all day until I vomit. Just to be clear, it's not because my stomach is upset from all the alcohol. Is there any way to circumvent that thick saliva crap?
#178323 to #178306 - herbolifee ONLINE
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
Before you go to bed, drink at least 1 liter of water. Works like a charm everytime.
#178319 to #178306 - mattempire
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
yeah alcohol dehydrates you like crazy. i had that last time i went out, my uvula swelled up like crazy, kept touching my tongue and back of my throat and making me gag. best solution is to drink a shit load of water
hail hydration
#178311 to #178306 - amonahan
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
Drink lots of water BEFORE going to bed? Or drink a glass of water in between drinks of alcohol?
#178303 - loomiss
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
Hey FunnyJunk, I could use some opinions and brainstorming.
I am a YouTuber with 15.5k subscribers (nothing incredible I know)
My videos mainly consist of beatboxing on omegle/COD and recording people's funny reactions. I'm a pretty good beatboxer and have been doing it for some time. But as of late the YouTube scene is flooded with people beatboxing on Omegle and Cod, I need to think of some good video ideas (omegle/Cod or something similar to those) that I can use.
I need something that hasn't been really done too much yet, I really enjoy making YouTube videos and what not, but it's hard to be different with so many people.
If anyone has ideas it would be greatly appreciated, thank you for your time.
#178312 to #178303 - amonahan
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
Make a song using your beatbox and peoples reaction? I.e. Do your beatbox and then use the sounds of peoples reaction to make a good beat? Hard to explain, but you know what I mean?
#178301 - brettyht
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
You have one day to cheer your best friend up, basically on the spot. You are on a college campus, but have a car, and about 90$ maximum to spend. You can pirate or watch whatever you want. There are no real attractions on campus, but there are movie theatres and bowling alleys and the like within driving distance. You also have about a 3 hour window for this. What do you do to cheer them up?
#178313 to #178301 - amonahan
Reply -1
(03/19/2015) [-]
Depends on the friend. But honestly just playing videogames, eating pizza, having a couple beers is more than enough. It's the simple things. But then.. if your friend doesn't like playing videogames then switch it to something they do like, throw a ball around and get some fastfood and just hangout? Don't try too hard otherwise it'll ruin the good times. Just have fun, and he will have fun too.
#178302 to #178301 - adrilazzaro
Reply +1
(03/19/2015) [-]
smoke pot and look at stars
#178291 - anon
Reply +1
(03/19/2015) [-]
I am literally addicted to getting into arguments and debates.
I love to discuss things and bring my own ideas to the table. But I do it too much. I get a literal buzz debating people, and I always get really fucking worked up. It is taking over my fucking life, and it needs to stop.

What do I do?
#178321 to #178291 - sineztro
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
Join a debate team
#178316 to #178291 - minutes
Reply +2
(03/19/2015) [-]
Be a politician.
#178404 to #178316 - pokemonstheshiz
Reply 0
(03/20/2015) [-]
that's actually not that great an idea. They debate, but the key is to dance around topics because definitive answers may lose you votes
#178324 to #178316 - herbolifee ONLINE
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
I can't stress enough how right you are
#178314 to #178291 - amonahan
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
Debating isn't the issue. If there's something passionate that you enjoy doing, don't stop doing it. Maybe just regulate it. It's not a very bad thing, and its preferable than depression. Go to law school.
#178307 to #178291 - drastronomy
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
likewise
#178300 to #178291 - sugoi
Reply +1
(03/19/2015) [-]
Go on tumblr.
#178292 to #178291 - anon
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
Also to add on to this, when I don't get in some sort of debate or argument on a normal basis I begin to feel depressed.
#178286 - sineztro
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
How do gather courage to ask people out?
#178315 to #178286 - amonahan
Reply +1
(03/19/2015) [-]
Okay 1) Do it in person
2) Rehearse your lines
3) Make sure it's just you and her, w/o others nearby
4) If she's been your friend then tell her "You won't lose me as a friend, you'll gain me as a partner, a companion, more than friends." Something along those lines.
5) At some point you just have to say "fuck it" and just start talking, this is why rehearsing your lines is a good method.
#178304 to #178286 - lordbrauner
Reply +2
(03/19/2015) [-]
Do it fast, do it now, and quit telling yourself excuses on why it has to be put off.

Jump in headfirst, and realize there are much worse things than being told no. If you've been friends for so long, I doubt this one little question will effect the relationship negatively. I asked my best friend out once, and she said no. It was awkward for a few days, but we got over it.

We ended up dating twice. Once in High School, once about 6 years later. We broke up on good terms, and are still best friends to this day. Do not use "fear of losing a friend" as an excuse, because it just doesn't work that way with real friends.

Jump in head first and ask her. The worst that'll happen is she says no and you two feel weird for a couple days. Just don't turn it into something it isn't. A romantic date doesn't need to be a big deal. Keep it lighthearted and casual, and you won't overwhelm her when you ask.

Most importantly, if she does say yes, be yourself. If you suddenly act really different with her when she already likes the person you are, then it may change her mind. Just roll with it, and don't treat her any differently.
#178288 to #178286 - hirollin
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
type or say
hey wanna go out?
#178289 to #178288 - sineztro
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
I mean we've been best friends since grade six (we're freshmen in uni now so about 8 years) and if she say says no then I might lose one of my best friends you know? And I don't know if I could deal with that
#178318 to #178289 - icefried
Reply +1
(03/19/2015) [-]
You won't lose her as a friend. Yeah it might be awkward for a couple of days, but after that it won't matter.
Here's my advice:
Do it. Do it right the fuck now, and don't do it over skype. The "I don't wanna lose her as a friend" excuse is complete bullshit and you know it. You're scared to tell her, and that's completely understandable.
Just ask her out if you don't want to tell her how you feel. Keep asking her out and keep spending time with her. Try sending signals every time you go out so that when you finally gather the balls to tell her it won't come as a complete shock.

Like a wise man once said, it's better to shit yourself than die of constipation. Do it and report back once you've done it. Don't disappoint me.
#178290 to #178289 - hirollin
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
there are other friends out there.
#178293 to #178290 - sineztro
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
While true I don't want her to lose !e as a friend because she only has six friends including me, I don't know am I making a mountain out of an ant hill here or should I just you know go for it and risk losing my best friend of eight years
#178294 to #178293 - hirollin
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
if you keep the same friends you had when you were a child you are doing something wrong. be like nike and just do it.
#178295 to #178294 - sineztro
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
I mean I've gotten more friends but these are the friends that I can always count on excuse me for being pretty defensive but how is having friends from childhood doing somethingwrong you know? So if I lost her then it'd be like losing a good chunk of your life
#178296 to #178295 - hirollin
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
sounds like you are pussing out. advice over.
#178297 to #178296 - sineztro
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
Probably, I'll probably do it someday maybe next weekend through Skype or something
#178279 - anon
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
My original plan after high school was to go to a four year college and finally be out of the house. Even if I had to pay for it all by myself, that was my number one goal, to just be away from my family.
But because of some family issues, I had to move in with my dad and step mom for the remainder of my highschool years. Now 2 years later, I had to settle for a near by tech college while still living with them.
I don't have a car, a job, or even my dogs with me to feel better. The one thing I really need right now is a new plan. But I have no idea what to do.
#178282 to #178279 - mattempire
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
what did you originally want to do at college?
#178267 - nicksawinner
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
so my boss has been laying off my shifts and i'm 110$ in the hole even though I have to pay rent tomorrow, help? suggestions?
#178268 to #178267 - solislunis
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
Wow man that really sucks, best bet, you need quick cash, pawn or sell some of your stuff. I would never never ever take out a cash/title/payday loan. The interest rates on them are beyond insane. If worse comes to worse, you can always attempt at begging family for money, or borrow some from friends.
#178249 - tehkawaiineko
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#178262 to #178249 - SOUL CRUSHER
Reply +1
(03/19/2015) [-]
lol as if anyone here knows what to do after we have sex for the first time
#178255 to #178249 - teoberry
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
grab plan b from pharmacy
#178256 to #178255 - tehkawaiineko
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#178257 to #178256 - teoberry
Reply 0
(03/19/2015) [-]
yeah. if you didn't wear a condom next time
#178245 - anon
Reply 0
(03/18/2015) [-]
does having my foreskin stretched behind the dickhead help my dick grow?