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User avatar #33999 - whalewhalewhale **User deleted account** (10/28/2012) [-]
I'm handing out candy to trick-or-treaters this year. How can I make this more fun/interesting?
User avatar #34058 to #33999 - IrishAssassin (10/29/2012) [-]
Do what other people say with a bowl that says "please take one" but if a kid takes two jump and scare them while yelling "The sign said take one!"
User avatar #34005 to #33999 - itskillingme (10/28/2012) [-]
Dress up in a full-body costume, and pretend to be an ornament. Stay still for a kid or two, so they sense that you're fake, and then jump out at the last kid in the group who takes candy, and chase em off your lawn.
User avatar #34007 to #34005 - whalewhalewhale **User deleted account** (10/28/2012) [-]
"and chase em off your lawn" That cracked me the hell up. I'll either do that or the bush thing. Or both.
User avatar #34006 to #34005 - itskillingme (10/28/2012) [-]
Bring a loaded gun too
User avatar #34000 to #33999 - freedomreturns (10/28/2012) [-]
Put razor blades in the candy.
User avatar #34001 to #34000 - whalewhalewhale **User deleted account** (10/28/2012) [-]
I had a feeling someone was going to say something like that, but I assumed they would also say something about raping them
User avatar #34002 to #34001 - freedomreturns (10/28/2012) [-]
I was conflicted between murder and razor blades.
But, in all seriousness, dress up and sit really still next to the candy bowl with a sign that says "take one" or something, and when a kid reaches for some, grab their hand.
User avatar #33997 - nekoyas (10/28/2012) [-]
Heya guys
My mom have this boyfriend that she's been with for about a year
They got a son that's 3 months old
Anyway, he's addicted to alcohol and he's wasting all of their money because he's gambling every day.
He usually starts to argue with me, calling me things like whore, fat, retarded, ugly, you got it.
Mom is feeling like shit because of him, she's a wreck. He's not helping at home, all he does is to sit and drink on the couch. I'm home to help mom so she can relax every time that I can.
Anyway, the arguing between us went over into hitting. And both of us got pretty hurt.
I've now forced mom to go to family therapy with him, since she really don't want to get divorced (mostly because of their son). And her bf is also going to go to the doctor with his alcohol problem.

The question is; Do you guys think it's the right thing to do, or should they just get divorced?

I don't know, maybe it'll get better with the therapy, but he's not the kind of guy who listens. He's only thinking about himself.
But it would be unfair for their son if they got divorced.
I just want some opinions.
User avatar #34081 to #33997 - techketzer (10/29/2012) [-]
Abusive relationships need to be ended.
User avatar #33998 to #33997 - smashingprodigy ONLINE (10/28/2012) [-]
Couples should make sacrifices and work out the problems between them. If it turns out the problems cannot be worked out and it causes a strain on the relationship or is hurting someone, then the best thing to do would be to split.
User avatar #33992 - Takemeforcola (10/28/2012) [-]
I think I may have turned into the very thing i hated.
we're going to have to re-wind the clocks back 2 years ago.
- me, just started uni, a chill laid back guy, typically nice, a funnyjunker, gamer and so on.
- go visit my sisters uni for a party
- meet her house mate and new best mate, 9/10, a flirt but no more (thought she was out of my league)
- have a banter/insult relationship because i know she's out of my league (who cares attitude)
- few months pass
- back at another party there, she's so hot and flirty, go with the flow
- that night she comes to spare room, we mess around, start kissing
-could have gone further but i pussie out because too worried about sister hearing
- a year and a half pass by, too socially awkward to man up and talk to her
-this summer her and my sister move 10 mins away from my home (not uni home)
- I fixed up the house as i had nothing to do that summer
- sister was working, the housemate is always around, same old banter
- we smoked a joint, started making out, said she loves my body and our banter
- had great sex
- we continue this for the next two months without my sister knowing, she'd come to my uni house, i'd go to her when my sister was out
- 3 days ago sister says come over for halloween party this weekend
- she accidently invited this guy that thinks he's dating the housemate
- we both agree to act like nothing is going on like normal
User avatar #33993 to #33992 - Takemeforcola (10/28/2012) [-]
-last night, the party night, meet this dude, really nice guy, awesome on the guitar, has a great job in music, has money a real great guy
-find out when he dated (still thinks he is) he bought her tickets to see jack white, heard he met her and my sister in another gig line to keep them company, then forks out the big bucks to buy a ticket at the door to be with them
- all night she laughs with him, a bit flirty, and i am sat there thinking i should be jelly but i'm the one fucking her.
-then it hit me, be me, sports student, quite athletic, i wear shirts more than t-shirts, i joke and mock her because i know i can, i don't do any of the boyfriend shit because i'm not, my sister doesn't know
- 4am, grabs my hand takes me past everyone including that dude, takes me outside, raining, just kisses me, kind of kiss back but in self doubt
-go back inside, that dude looks at me as if i have crushed his soul
-pick up my beers, be on my way.
-current day, reflect on things, feel bad about that dude as i've been in that place before
-suddenly realise, I'm that guy, that dude with the body, shirt wearing sports student dick that jokes around with a really hot girl because he has no worries.
- i'm the guy i fucking hate and i didn't even realise ....
User avatar #34012 to #33993 - WhattheNorris (10/28/2012) [-]
Fuck shit, man.
Tell the girl you hate who you've become and stop fucking her.
Tell the guy you're an asshole and he's the only who really deserves her.

Move on.
User avatar #34113 to #34012 - lolkoi (10/29/2012) [-]
I dont think its that simple. If you started fucking a really hot chick, and stopped because someone else like her, would you? To me that seems kinda hard..
User avatar #34117 to #34113 - WhattheNorris (10/29/2012) [-]
Shit probably not.

I was just going for the cut and dry option.
User avatar #34260 to #34117 - Takemeforcola (10/30/2012) [-]
this is the problem i face, what can i say, i am still a funnyjunker and gamer dude. I am just good at sports, which makes me look like hollister douche. She's a 9/10, i may never be with a 9/10 in my life and this girl actually does like me but i do doubt if its my outside she likes not the dude inside who has no idea what the fuck is going on.
And on the otherhand, i have been that guy who has had his heart broken from another genuine douche, i was that nice guy that got nowhere. Why shouldn't i take this opportunity, the thing that has kept me keeping it alive is the fact i know no matter what if i leave or not she won't go to that nice dude, it won't be a happy ending, she'll just find another guy with a six pack. Because at the end of the day that's all i am, a nice guy with a six pack.
User avatar #34261 to #34260 - WhattheNorris (10/30/2012) [-]
As long as you aren't holding her back from anyone else then shit man, don't give up such a nice girl?
User avatar #34263 to #34261 - Takemeforcola (10/30/2012) [-]
I am quite sure i am not holding her back from anyone, she said she went on dates with him but said that was it, but i got the impression he still thought he was seeing her as he sent her a text at the end of the night saying sharing is caring "wink wink" your bed. Which i for one think is a douchebag move in itself.
Overall i feel as if i may as well see what the future has instore, because if we carry on we have to do it behind my sisters back, if we decide to make it official we have to tell my sister that i'm fucking her bestmate and housemate. Either way, i get the feeling it is going to end badly so i may as well make the most of it whilst it lasts
User avatar #34264 to #34263 - WhattheNorris (10/30/2012) [-]
Exactly. Fuck that guy for not being able to take a hint.
User avatar #34262 to #34261 - WhattheNorris (10/30/2012) [-]
? was a typo
User avatar #33987 - herbolifee (10/28/2012) [-]
ok so I need 11 more thumbs before I can finally post reaction pics again. I don't like begging for them, but any help in this would be greatly appreciated.

If I can do anything in return just ask :)
User avatar #34013 to #33987 - WhattheNorris (10/28/2012) [-]
post 3 more comments and I'll get you to 11
User avatar #34023 to #34013 - herbolifee (10/28/2012) [-]
kind sir :)
User avatar #34021 to #34013 - herbolifee (10/28/2012) [-]
a lot
User avatar #34020 to #34013 - herbolifee (10/28/2012) [-]
Thanks
User avatar #34022 to #34020 - WhattheNorris (10/28/2012) [-]
No problem. You there yet?
User avatar #34024 to #34022 - herbolifee (10/28/2012) [-]
One more for level 3. Think that should be it.
User avatar #34025 to #34024 - WhattheNorris (10/28/2012) [-]
Alrighty
User avatar #34027 to #34025 - herbolifee (10/28/2012) [-]
Still not there :(
At first it said I had to raise 3 levels in content OR comments, but that last part has vanished now. Lame..

But still, thanks for the effort friend.
User avatar #34031 to #34027 - WhattheNorris (10/28/2012) [-]
No problemo
0
#33988 to #33987 - smashingprodigy has deleted their comment. [-]
0
#33984 - everheat has deleted their comment. [-]
User avatar #33985 to #33984 - smashingprodigy ONLINE (10/28/2012) [-]
The fitness board would know more about this, so you can try asking there. They should be able to help you more than we can :)
User avatar #33986 to #33985 - everheat (10/28/2012) [-]
Oh, yeah. Forgot about that. Gonna head over there now!
User avatar #33983 - newposterintown (10/28/2012) [-]
Do you guys know why torrents don't download sometimes, and is there some sort of work-around to that at all?
User avatar #34052 to #33983 - notsafeforcupcake (10/28/2012) [-]
Most of the time there are no seeders (people with the download completed).
If no one has the full download, noone can get the full download unless the peers collective have the full download among themselves (very rare)

Really nothing you can do about it, it's why seeding is so important.
User avatar #34158 to #34052 - newposterintown (10/29/2012) [-]
How do you manually, "seed" it? Doesn't someone have to seed it first?
User avatar #34161 to #34158 - notsafeforcupcake (10/29/2012) [-]
Yes, that's what I'm saying:
When you complete the download you become a "seeder"
User avatar #34163 to #34161 - newposterintown (10/29/2012) [-]
Huh, the download is still at zero.

The other download that was acting up finished though, so I guess that's good. Maybe it will kick it sometime today...
User avatar #33978 - baconbonanza (10/28/2012) [-]
how do i post a picture or a gif?
User avatar #33979 to #33978 - freedomreturns (10/28/2012) [-]
Level up
User avatar #33981 to #33979 - baconbonanza (10/28/2012) [-]
okay thank you
User avatar #33977 - thewizsam (10/28/2012) [-]
when i press the button print screen the pic is saved in the mouse how do i get it from the mouse to funnyjunk?
User avatar #33980 to #33977 - freedomreturns (10/28/2012) [-]
ctrl+v to paint
#33975 - N. Korean citizen (10/28/2012) [-]
.
#33970 - adamks (10/28/2012) [-]
Okay. This is the case. I was at a party, yesterday night, and darn, that was a great party. But along the evening I started to speak with my crush, and we spoke for a good while, and when there were about half an hour left of the party, we ended up kissing, which was damn awesome. But the thing is now, she is in my class, and I dont know how, nor when to ask her if she wants to continue the relation ship, and since we no matter what will meet tomorrow, when we go to school, I kinda feel that its urgent that I do it today, so what do you guys say?
User avatar #33973 to #33970 - Greengreda (10/28/2012) [-]
if there was alcohol involved, drop it. if there wasn't, you should go for it
#33974 to #33973 - adamks (10/28/2012) [-]
I got to that conclusion too, admittetly.
User avatar #33965 - kathuzada (10/28/2012) [-]
I don't know where else to ask but, who would win in a fight Cat Woman or Black Widow
User avatar #33989 to #33965 - deghy (10/28/2012) [-]
Catwoman has Acrobats and hand to hand but Black widow has all that plus guns galore, bio-tech implants that heal her and slows her aging, a super soldier serum and if you had to choose who would win in a fight between a thief and an Assassin i would choose the Assassin.
User avatar #33966 to #33965 - jokeface ONLINE (10/28/2012) [-]
I think it depends which Catwoman you're referring to. There were like 6 or 7.
User avatar #33962 - thisisspartah (10/28/2012) [-]
how do i finish this creative writing (conflict) i just have no idea
The war.
“GET OUT NOW!” Screamed the tall muscular man named Phuk who is behind me as we were zooming 250kmph through the air over southern Danek to fight the Bronikians. I’ve never been so accelerated in my life, here I am leaping out of plane to fight my first war for the Planeks, the communist party of Zent were I was born.
“There’s lots of ‘em down there kid, you sure you’re up to it?” Phuk asked worryingly as we land on top of the hill that marks our territory. He’s only about 15 years older than me and he has already been in 2 wars and made it to sergeant.
“Hell yeah I am” I respond as I load my rifle and wipe my long brown hair of my face and start running to the trenches. There are lots of puddles as it was recently raining and I can’t help but look at my reflection, holding my gun, then I see my name, Zeus Perk written over my top left shirt pocket of my green-grayish army uniform.
“There attacking!” Shouts someone on the other side of the hill just before I hear gunshots and screams of people being shot. The Bronikians have great accuracy with a gun, but so do we. I have been doing target practice with my father for a dozen years, since I was 4 years old I have been shooting birds on the farm and I haven’t missed a shot since I was 7.
I start running towards the battle firing my gun towards the enemy, the capitalist swine’s in green and brown, trying to take back the land we are taking from them one city at a time as order from the Planeks themselves for not signing the treaty of peace. At school we learnt that they have power hungry people taking from everyone they can to be better than them and they believe every word there told, and they have the nerve to call us corrupt, blind zombies.
User avatar #33963 to #33962 - thisisspartah (10/28/2012) [-]
“Nice shot!” laughs phuk as I look up to see the man whose helmet I just shot of his head sees me, then I see phuk shoot him straight between the eyes and watch the life leave his eyes. I look at phuk for a second, and then I look at the body of a man with no hamlet.
“You, Kid, go down to that building down there and check for any more Bronikians.” I get ordered as I reload my gun and start walking, the rest of my division are watching me with blood thirsty eyes. I think they know about what a good shot I am and want to watch me kill someone.
Just as I get over there I see three Bronikians pointing their guns in my direction. Just then I realize that I might die in this war, which I also realize that the war is pointless, why do we need to fight? Then I see all three of them get blown up by a grenade. Three lives, taken, just like that. Why do we need to conquer this land anyway? We have enough back home. Home, where is my home now? It can’t be the farm. Not after what happened which caused me to leave. I look at the scar on my wrist, and then look up at the world around me. People dying, the murderess triumphant look on peoples faces, as they end another persons life.
“All clear down there kid?” yells Phuk. “Yes” I yell back as I think about the man Phuk killed, how ‘ok’ he is about killing someone
User avatar #33964 to #33963 - thisisspartah (10/28/2012) [-]



thats the end so far an i have just no idea
User avatar #33956 - eeveeisbestpoke (10/28/2012) [-]
how do I tell if im in love?
User avatar #33967 to #33956 - jokeface ONLINE (10/28/2012) [-]
If you have to ask, you're not.
User avatar #33959 to #33956 - thisisspartah (10/28/2012) [-]
you are in love
User avatar #33955 - Sandisky (10/28/2012) [-]
Bonjangles
User avatar #34015 to #33955 - WhattheNorris (10/28/2012) [-]
How am I supposed to live without it when I move out of the south?

Not that I'm bummed I'm leaving, I'll just miss that delicious fucking chicken and biscuits .
User avatar #33948 - chonies (10/28/2012) [-]
Hey FJ I need help.

So there's this girl I knew for about a year and a half and we went out when we started hanging out. After a while I decided to be retarded and break up with her and became friends. Ever since then I've been trying to get back with her. I already told her I like her, but she doesn't want to talk about. She even told me she had some feelings for me, but she was drunk at the time so I didn't know if it was true. Should just stop following her? or hang on?
User avatar #33969 to #33948 - dassnasty (10/28/2012) [-]
Sounds like me. But the other way, kinda. He broke up with me, then told me he had feelings for me. However, he then asked out my best friend, so I guess it's not the same.

My advice, is to just let go. If it is meant to be, there will be another opportunity. If not, just leave it.
User avatar #33991 to #33969 - chonies (10/28/2012) [-]
Yea, well I already decided not to pay attention to her, but if she does want to talk about it those feelings will come back I know.
User avatar #34051 to #33991 - dassnasty (10/28/2012) [-]
Yep, but if she does decide to talk about it, and it's a good thing, those feelings would be justified.
User avatar #33949 to #33948 - thebronykindthree **User deleted account** (10/28/2012) [-]
you should keep going because life’s a race and you're gonna win and And you’ll light the fuse And never lose,choose to survive Whatever it takes.

User avatar #33950 to #33949 - chonies (10/28/2012) [-]
thank you good sir.
User avatar #33951 to #33950 - thebronykindthree **User deleted account** (10/28/2012) [-]
keep up the pace and you'll reveal your strength To the whole human race
User avatar #33952 to #33951 - chonies (10/28/2012) [-]
Yes I should rule the world. First I must fap and earn her love.
User avatar #33953 to #33952 - thebronykindthree **User deleted account** (10/28/2012) [-]
Yes, you are prepared To stay alive. you won’t forgive, vengeance is yours


User avatar #33947 - slantedvanity (10/28/2012) [-]
I just need to get this off of my chest. She was my savior, my hero and my little warrior. She made me realize I had something to live for. She helped me get out of my depression and my drug addictions just for staying beside me. She made me realize I can trust and love. She brought me so far into this world. Her and I were together for 3 years. Every time her and I argued or miscommunicated she pushed me away and wished that I didn't love her. She broke of our engagement and I still took her back. Now I can't trust anyone, I'm medicated for my depression and still can't seem to look on the bright side. I will in time. I just wish she didn't leave.
#33944 - dirtyballz (10/28/2012) [-]
I need thumbs to post pictures. Any help would be appreciated.
User avatar #33945 to #33944 - wydell (10/28/2012) [-]
same here, it's a bitch collecting them without pics
#33932 - N. Korean citizen (10/27/2012) [-]
Hi guys , I have to post this as anon because maybe my friends will notice it.:

So I started with primary school and there was a beautiful girl i liked a lot. In the 2nd grade I asked her if she wants to visit me at home. So we had a wonderful day. But then my family build a house and we moved. I changed my primary school and we lost contact.

8 years forward:

I started to be interested in some girls. I have had bad luck and never had a gf and never tried my luck. Then the girl I mentioned above came up my mind and I searched her on FB. I sent a friend request and she accepted. So my question to you guys is how I should start contact with her and if if she wants to date me? I haven't had contact for 8 years and I think this would be a bit creepy , but I can't stop thinking about her and she is a motivation in my life. I often view her profle pic to be happy and calm down after stressful situations. I also started going to gym just because of her. She is a 10/10 and if she wants to , she could get every guy , not to bitchy and slutty , a nice cute girl. I want to start contact again with her. Any suggestions or ideas how to start contact if there was 8 years no contact? ATM my only contact source is FB.....
So please help me /advice/ , there were a lot of other girls i met , but she is the only one who is still in my mind and heart.....

User avatar #33960 to #33932 - thisisspartah (10/28/2012) [-]
ive had a similar situation happen to me. get back into contact with her and gradually get closer, then try get her
User avatar #33935 to #33932 - thephoenix (10/28/2012) [-]
write down as many conversation topics as you can possibly think of and when you're on a topic, try to draw it out, not so much that you sound like a stalker or are boring, but enough to hold an intelligent conversation. start with "hi stranger" or "long time no see?" something nice but simple, use smiley faces, DO NOT accidentally use winking face. try make her laugh, but don't tell jokes and don't be like "i'm going to the gym check out my guns" check out her likes and stuff, find mutual ground, if she talks about herself (she will) she will start to point out her flaws, you MUST compliment them, but don't go overboard. start there friend.
User avatar #33931 - WhattheNorris (10/27/2012) [-]
I've never been the kid in the loop about all the parties going on.

I saw my first party last night but was unable to stay. Given the circumstances (and a sober ride home the next morning) I would totally go to parties.

So has anyone here ever lived that life and gone back to the internet? I should think not. But in case you have any plus/deltas?
User avatar #33936 to #33931 - thephoenix (10/28/2012) [-]
tbh my friend, at high school, i was the jock, i was the football player and the rugby player and everybody knew me, but you i just didn't like the people, they were so shallow and retarded, i'm much happier here on the internet, and i've made some great realtionships this way, and i'm happier and a better person for it, but do not let it take over your life, you need to exercise and get out sometimes, it's easy to lose days on the computer, so be careful, but the lop isn;t a good place to be, create your own loop, both virtual and IRL
User avatar #33938 to #33936 - WhattheNorris (10/28/2012) [-]
Sound advice, thank you
User avatar #33939 to #33938 - thephoenix (10/28/2012) [-]
not a problem, but if ever your feel you don't fit in with a group, you get out okay?
User avatar #33940 to #33939 - WhattheNorris (10/28/2012) [-]
I have a group of friends, we're just not a group who involves ourselves in parties/the party loop.

But of course:)
User avatar #33941 to #33940 - thephoenix (10/28/2012) [-]
good, you'll be better people for it, i can tell you right now that you aren't missing a god damned thing
User avatar #33943 to #33941 - WhattheNorris (10/28/2012) [-]
Hope so
User avatar #33926 - fancys (10/27/2012) [-]
Hey guys I got an issue. And no I don't want a tissue.
Anyway my girlfriend from a few months back has been talking to me, and to be honest I miss her. So we started dating again, except it's just not the same anymore. I still love her but I will never love her like I used to, and I'm scared that she'll cheat on me again, so I have no idea what to do.
User avatar #33937 to #33926 - thephoenix (10/28/2012) [-]
you need to talk to her about your history, ask her why she did it, if she feels that it could happen again, how the both of you could avoid that happening, maybe she was bored, felt like you was't giving her enough or your time/attention. make sure she knows that you're a good guy and you'll look after her and that if anything like that happens again then it will be the end of contact for you both, establish boundaries and make sure she knows what the consequences are, but be gentle with telling her, don't try to frighten her into being loyal, but you do need to be firm.
User avatar #33930 to #33926 - baconbonanza (10/27/2012) [-]
its gonna be hard, but you need to get rid of her. cheaters very rarely change, if ever.
User avatar #33927 to #33926 - kimkve ONLINE (10/27/2012) [-]
Why are you telling us this? The one who needs to hear it is your girlfriend... It's gonna be rough... a big fight... and to sum it up: Blood, sweat and tears...

The reason you have the "miss and love her but not as before" is because that was your previous "comfort" zone... and that is the same feeling you get when you want to text your ex while drunk or when you are sad, you basicly miss the comfort.... snap out of it... tell her the truth and go and get yourself a new comfort zone :)

You can do it!
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