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User avatar #118289 - acemcgunner (02/24/2014) [-]
brain storm ideas to impress my wife...I ran out of ideas to impress her
User avatar #118336 to #118289 - slendermanspenis (02/24/2014) [-]
Well, what have you already done?
User avatar #118406 to #118336 - acemcgunner (02/25/2014) [-]
a lot.....think outside the of the box... I copy a lot of movies
User avatar #118332 to #118289 - lotengo ONLINE (02/24/2014) [-]
try to reach frontpage on funnyjunk
User avatar #118405 to #118332 - acemcgunner (02/25/2014) [-]
good idea
User avatar #118313 to #118289 - stargazerlily (02/24/2014) [-]
This is one of the reasons I'm afraid to date. Maybe try a career change. Don't directly try to impress her, do amazing things for yourself.
User avatar #118312 to #118289 - alexanderburns ONLINE (02/24/2014) [-]
get a bigger dick
User avatar #118275 - misterobotunicorn (02/24/2014) [-]
i have a assignment on a WW1 newspaper , its due tomorrow. im writing about deaths by a Mortar. What should i include?
User avatar #118282 to #118279 - misterobotunicorn (02/24/2014) [-]
i already read that. But thanks anyway
User avatar #118285 to #118282 - lolfire (02/24/2014) [-]
Are you doing like a factual essay or writing a creative piece ?
User avatar #118468 to #118285 - factual (02/25/2014) [-]
It's a fact
User avatar #118286 to #118285 - misterobotunicorn (02/24/2014) [-]
well... more like a creative piece
User avatar #118287 to #118286 - lolfire (02/24/2014) [-]
From a soldiers viewpoint or what?
User avatar #118288 to #118287 - misterobotunicorn (02/24/2014) [-]
no. its the headline of a newspaper so i just explain what happen
User avatar #118276 to #118275 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/24/2014) [-]
How about deaths from mortar?
User avatar #118252 - lordleyva (02/24/2014) [-]
Hey /advice/, should I break up with my girlfriend? We have been dating for almost 14 months now and I've gone through a lot of things with her, both good and bad. I love her and her family, and they also love me. She's pretty and funny, but lately, I've been losing a real attraction to her. Our relationship has become rather dull and boring and I don't really enjoy it. But if I break up with her, I'd lose one of my best friends (probably) and I might not even be successful with girls in the future. So, do you guys have any input on what I should do?
#118323 to #118252 - megavoir (02/24/2014) [-]
It's either you can spice it up on your own by pushing it, or, yes, break up with her. I do recommend the former before that though
It's either you can spice it up on your own by pushing it, or, yes, break up with her. I do recommend the former before that though
#118339 to #118323 - minibeep (02/24/2014) [-]
fuck you tho
User avatar #118325 to #118323 - megavoir (02/24/2014) [-]
I realized it was you in the middle of typing this.
so break up with her
fag
User avatar #118284 to #118252 - jorgethemaster (02/24/2014) [-]
Do new things with her, something that you haven't done. Make it something fun though. Bowling could be a good option.
User avatar #118269 to #118252 - bondofsnow (02/24/2014) [-]
Do you live out in the sticks or in the city?
User avatar #118270 to #118269 - lordleyva (02/24/2014) [-]
It's in the middle.
User avatar #118271 to #118270 - bondofsnow (02/24/2014) [-]
Do you and her do any activities or hobbies that interest both of you? If not then try that, it may help spark your relationship back to its peak.
User avatar #118272 to #118271 - lordleyva (02/24/2014) [-]
We don't really have any common interests. She likes soccer, I like baseball. She likes skating, I like walking. She doesn't like being around a lot of people, I do. I honestly don't know how it used to work out.
User avatar #118273 to #118272 - bondofsnow (02/24/2014) [-]
Try to get involved in some of her interests, if you can't then you should probably end the relationship. As an alternative you and her could try out something that neither of you have tried before, seek out a common interest.
User avatar #118274 to #118273 - lordleyva (02/24/2014) [-]
Alright, I'll try doing that.
User avatar #118253 to #118252 - makotoitou (02/24/2014) [-]
just get kinky
User avatar #118254 to #118253 - lordleyva (02/24/2014) [-]
Tried that.
User avatar #118255 to #118254 - makotoitou (02/24/2014) [-]
kinkier
User avatar #118256 to #118255 - lordleyva (02/24/2014) [-]
It's not even the sexual part of it though. When we text we just say the same shit over and over and it's boring as fuck.
User avatar #118278 to #118256 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/24/2014) [-]
That's what happens after 14 months... I think you should try to make it work or at least talk to her about it, but I wouldn't break it off immediately.
User avatar #118259 to #118256 - makotoitou (02/24/2014) [-]
text kinky shit
User avatar #118260 to #118259 - lordleyva (02/24/2014) [-]
Sexting is stupid when you can get the p00n in real life and when you can get it and it sucks then what's the point?
User avatar #118261 to #118260 - makotoitou (02/24/2014) [-]
try something like this. Hide in the trunk of her car, and halfway through her driving rattle around so she stops and checks. Then you appear tied up and naked.

Perfect way to spice things up.
User avatar #118262 to #118261 - lordleyva (02/24/2014) [-]
But what if I shit myself?
User avatar #118263 to #118262 - makotoitou (02/24/2014) [-]
contain your poops
User avatar #118264 to #118263 - lordleyva (02/24/2014) [-]
What if she doesn't get in her car for a while and I die of lack of oxygen/thirst?
User avatar #118265 to #118264 - makotoitou (02/24/2014) [-]
that's kinky
User avatar #118266 to #118265 - lordleyva (02/24/2014) [-]
Wait I don't even what sex though. I want a relationship that actually makes me happy.
User avatar #118267 to #118266 - makotoitou (02/24/2014) [-]
get her a strap on then, faggot
User avatar #129053 to #118267 - megavoir (04/23/2014) [-]
10/10 advice
#118246 - deanwinchester (02/24/2014) [-]
how do i do
User avatar #118248 to #118246 - silverzepher (02/24/2014) [-]
the thing?
0
#118257 to #118248 - bondofsnow has deleted their comment [-]
#118245 - mwhitey (02/24/2014) [-]
Anyone know of any like home remedies or habits that can help with ED? im 17 years old and half the time I cant keep a hard on for more than 10 minutes!
User avatar #118307 to #118245 - stargazerlily (02/24/2014) [-]
You can keep hardons for ten minutes?
User avatar #118302 to #118245 - pokemonstheshiz (02/24/2014) [-]
idk about home remedies. Do you go to college? A lot of them have psychological clinics and you can get pills pretty cheap. I pay like 20 a month for antidepressants, and that's without insurance
User avatar #118250 to #118245 - supertanto (02/24/2014) [-]
or combine both of silverzepher 's ideas together and but a watermelon rind in your ass
User avatar #118251 to #118250 - silverzepher (02/24/2014) [-]
that might be interesting, i second this motion
User avatar #118247 to #118245 - silverzepher (02/24/2014) [-]
well finger in the ass can help add 10 min in your case, watermelon rines are supposedly good for that too
#118218 - captenmasin (02/24/2014) [-]
Didn't know where else to ask this, but what level do I have to be to view NSFW? I was burnswhenipee but I decided to make a new account for some reason
User avatar #118249 to #118218 - silverzepher (02/24/2014) [-]
i want to say it was on a timelimit not a level limit, but then again i could be wrong
User avatar #118222 to #118218 - gongthehawkeye (02/24/2014) [-]
You know you could get the exact same porn, with source on hundreds of other websites? The NSFW section is pretty mediocre, it's either girls with dicks, pictures of girls with captions about how they were guys turned itno girls, crappy hentai, fat girl, attention whores, furries, weird fetishes, and maybe 3-5 good pictures a week.
Also, I think level 2.
User avatar #118242 to #118222 - infernobird (02/24/2014) [-]
well that stuff does show up but there usually the stuff at the top is fairly normal.
User avatar #118214 - gongthehawkeye (02/24/2014) [-]
So I puffed my cheeks like 10 minutes ago, and while doing this, I felt and heard some bubbling at the right, bottom rear of my mouth (right under my right ear) and the right side of my face kind hurts I think it may be swollen.
I think I just blew air into my jaw or some shit.
Am I gonna die?
wut do?
User avatar #118298 to #118214 - skulli (02/24/2014) [-]
try to puff the other side so both sides will equal
#118223 to #118221 - gongthehawkeye (02/24/2014) [-]
SO THEN WHAT DO I DOOOOOOOO, TELL ME SENPAI!!!!!   
   
Srsly, doe, this kinda scares me because it's never happened before and it makes me thing something minor might be malfunctioning with my mouth
SO THEN WHAT DO I DOOOOOOOO, TELL ME SENPAI!!!!!

Srsly, doe, this kinda scares me because it's never happened before and it makes me thing something minor might be malfunctioning with my mouth
User avatar #118229 to #118223 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/24/2014) [-]
Your jaws are sore? Why are you puffing your cheeks for 10 minutes?
User avatar #118364 to #118229 - gongthehawkeye (02/24/2014) [-]
Not 10 minutes straight, 10 minutes prior.
User avatar #118371 to #118364 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/25/2014) [-]
You seem ok now, so I wouldn't worry about it.
User avatar #118226 to #118223 - sugoi (02/24/2014) [-]
Have you tried turning it off and on?
Seriously if you're that concerned go to a doctor or some shit. Or if you're too cheap/live in a glorious country without free healthcare, WEBMD BABY.
#118224 to #118223 - ipostcp (02/24/2014) [-]
You probably just misaligned it then put it back into place.
#118340 to #118224 - minibeep (02/24/2014) [-]
fuck you tho
#118211 - thebritishguy (02/24/2014) [-]
I'm looking at my bank account and it says that I have been payed 40 quid but I only have 30 pounds balance. Then there is the overdraft interest which I just don't know what that is. WTF is going on? I am not a clever man.
User avatar #118244 to #118211 - herblegerble (02/24/2014) [-]
The D probably means something along the lines of deficit.
In other words, you spent more money than you actually had, but the payment still went through. This has only ever happened to me with Steam, but other online services may do it as well.
So the 9.13D means that you owe £9.13, and when the £40 is payed in, the £9.13 gets payed out of that £40 leaving you with £30.87
User avatar #118235 to #118211 - supertanto (02/24/2014) [-]
jew reporting in

how may I help you?
User avatar #118237 to #118235 - thebritishguy (02/24/2014) [-]
Jew jokes really are starting to piss me off now, every single day on the religion board there are about 7 of them.
User avatar #118238 to #118237 - supertanto (02/24/2014) [-]
what makes you think I'm joking? and the religion board is for a 13 year old atheist faggots
User avatar #118216 to #118211 - suxferyu (02/24/2014) [-]
it's probably the balance that's available, funds may have been put on hold
User avatar #118215 to #118211 - suxferyu (02/24/2014) [-]
what's the difference between quid and pounds?
User avatar #118217 to #118215 - thebritishguy (02/24/2014) [-]
there is none, I just wrote it differently for some reason, it's british slang
User avatar #118220 to #118217 - suxferyu (02/24/2014) [-]
ah.

are there any funds on hold, from you buying something?

sometimes when i buy something it doesn't go through right away, there's a gap in the amount i have and the amount it says i had last.
User avatar #118230 to #118220 - thebritishguy (02/24/2014) [-]
I think that's what it was yeah, thanks
User avatar #118212 to #118211 - thebritishguy (02/24/2014) [-]
can someone tell me what the "D" stand for as well please?
#118210 - matoromahri (02/24/2014) [-]
So I've only been at this one college for a semester and I have to apply for a scholarship for next year. Thing is, I have to get a recommendation from a prof. I had during this year. I've already picked out the guy that hated me the least last semester but now I have to ask him for a rec even though I only knew him for a semester and I haven't seen him in three months. Wat say?
User avatar #118236 to #118210 - supertanto (02/24/2014) [-]
what college?
User avatar #118239 to #118236 - matoromahri (02/24/2014) [-]
it's in tejas
User avatar #118228 to #118210 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/24/2014) [-]
When you lose connections for over 3 months then those people basically are not worth much for references. Especially professors or coworkers from internships.
User avatar #118231 to #118228 - matoromahri (02/24/2014) [-]
Well, I have seen him occasionally, he runs some lectures that I go to. Only problem is, I don't really know any of my profs from this semester since I've only been taking their classes for a month and a half. Thanks though
User avatar #118232 to #118231 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/24/2014) [-]
It wouldn't hurt to try but I wouldn't call it a "sealed deal"
User avatar #118233 to #118232 - matoromahri (02/24/2014) [-]
Ok well supposing I did, how would you phrase an email like that?
When I needed recs for getting accepted I had this one teacher who thought I was just the perfect student cause I was like the only active member of his radio club, but I'm in a different state where I don't know anybody
User avatar #118234 to #118233 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/24/2014) [-]
Can't you email that professor? Also, I can't help you with the email because I am not in your shoes.
#118241 to #118234 - matoromahri (02/24/2014) [-]
understandable. thanks
User avatar #118200 - theafroman (02/23/2014) [-]
Here goes guys, I'm gonna start with the back story and then get to the issue after. This'll probably also be a venting thing, so if you want to help just skip to the end. I'll tl;dr it as best I can at the end. Also, I know I was and still am a bit of a beta fag, so just give me a break okay? About a year ago, I started talking to a girl through our mutual friend. She was a bit reserved but was generally kind and could put up with my bullshit, so it was pretty cool. We talked whenever we were on the bus and periodically on Facebook. We only had one class together, so that was mostly how we communicated. We started to talk about a bit more serious topics, and she explained her struggles with depression, shortly after I started to develop feelings for her. Before I could tell her how I felt, she told me about her ex-boyfriend who got killed by some bullies at his school and how it seriously fucked her up with relationships, leading her to constantly have sex for the few months following his death and inconsistently thereafter. I figured that wasn't the time to say anything, so I just tried to be understanding and show my support. About a month after, a rumor started going around about a mutual classmate liking her, and I stupidly decided that I should tell her I liked her. She rejected me, and she regressed for a little while, only making small talk on the bus or in class. We eventually started talking more frequently again, and I eventually came to the realization that I loved her. However, tension became apparent shortly thereafter, often leading us to argue over petty things. We usually managed to patch things up, but I would appear to seriously hurt her feelings sometimes, which made me feel awful. After a fight, I realized that I couldn't keep hurting her like this and decided to tell her that we should quit talking for a while in June. When she asked why, I again stupidly admitted that I loved her, and she agreed that it was probably for the best. CONT.
User avatar #118201 to #118200 - theafroman (02/23/2014) [-]
Fast forward to the start of the current school year, and in cruel twist of fate, we have 4 classes together this year. It's fairly awkward, and I almost consider asking to talk again just to ease the situation. Luckily she did first, and we became friends again. It was awkward getting back into the natural flow, but we eventually did and it felt better than when we were first friends. Things were going smoothly for about three months until two of our friends, one being the mutual friend I mention at the start, started dating. They decided that we would be good together as well and urged us separately to get together. They were insisting that she had feelings for me too, and that I should just ask her out. This got my hopes up, rekindling some of my old feelings.This eventually came to a head on my birthday (fml) when she asked me if they had been talking to me too. I said yeah, and we talked about us. She never really said that she didn't like me, but she did say that she thought she couldn't make me happy, and that she still wasn't ready for a relationship after her ex. I agreed that she shouldn't rush into anything, and we returned to our normal activities. Things did start looking up, as she started to initiate conversation more and was more sexual, often half-joking about taking my virginity. I decided to go along with it, but didn't do anything too forward in hopes of not appearing to come on too strong. Then, at the start of winter break, something happened that really affected her. She wouldn't tell me what, but she said not to worry about it. After that day she didn't try to talk to me at all for a couple days, and I just figured she was dealing with whatever was up so I just gave her space. The day after Christmas I figured I'd text her and see if everything was okay. She said it was, but quickly dismissed the conversation. I asked again later, telling her that I could obviously tell something was up. CONT.
User avatar #118202 to #118201 - theafroman (02/23/2014) [-]
She then came clean, saying that she had intended to cut ties with a couple people including me. She also said that she didn't enjoy the thought that someone loved her or needed her and that she thought it was pathetic that I was pinning after her so diligently, partially cause that's how she was shortly after her ex died. We talked a bit more, and I thought we were okay, but I wasn't sure. I asked her the next day if we were still friends or not, and it showed that she had seen it but hadn't replied. I explained to her that I didn't want it, but that I accepted her choice. We ignored each other again for about a month when I realized that I couldn't not be friends with her again. I asked to talk with her again, and she agreed. I asked her why she was doing it, but she said she didn't want to tell me, and I couldn't really say much else so I just kind of let it go. She messaged me later saying how she wanted to tell me over text rather than in person cause she couldn't look at me to tell me why. She explained that her little cousin was using her phone and that's why she had seen the messages and hadn't responded, but by the time she had gotten it, I had already made my whole spiel and she decided to leave it where it was. Although a little hurt that she wouldn't try to fix the misunderstanding right away, I accepted it and we became friends again. We started talking again, but it was obviously a little strained, and most of the conversations were pretty shallow. This brings us up to now. On Friday, We were talking about our plans for after high school, and she stated that she wanted to go to Oklahoma for college. This seemed a little odd, but I didn't think much of it right away. But about an hour later it hit me. She briefly stated in the past she had sizable feelings for a girl who happened to live in Oklahoma, but I didn't think that much about it at the time. I was dumbstruck with the thought that she would do all that for one person. CONT.
User avatar #118203 to #118202 - theafroman (02/23/2014) [-]
This is really where my dilemma starts. I decided to confront her about it Friday night, and she confirmed that that was the reason. I tried to explain that it was a bad idea, especially since she didn't know the girls feelings about her, but she insisted that she knew and understood her and that she just wanted to be friends. I called her out on it by saying that nobody gives up their friends and family for just a friend and compared how she was acting to how I was. She became very defensive, saying that it wasn't my business. I explained that I understood that she didn't need me to look out for her, but I would do anything to try and help her. She told me that she didn't need me to tell her what was best for her. I tried to explain that I was sincerely doing it for her, not some needy "I don't want you to end up with someone else" way, but I don't think she believes that.

If you actually struggled through that, I applaud you. I think I really just needed to get that off my chest. For those normal people who didn't or just wanted to know my problem:
Tl;dr How can I explain to my best friend that she shouldn't move just because she likes a girl without it seeming like it's about my feelings for her.
User avatar #118277 to #118203 - nommonsterbaa ONLINE (02/24/2014) [-]
I'll be honest in saying that I have no idea as to any advice for you, but at the very least I read your entire story, and wish you the best of luck in the outcome for the both of you.
User avatar #118283 to #118277 - theafroman (02/24/2014) [-]
Well thanks anyway, I appreciate it. I hope it does too.
User avatar #118227 to #118203 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/24/2014) [-]
I'm going to start with one thing. You are a fucking drama queen and that's why she was avoiding a relationship with you. Not the death of her ex, not her love for some random girl in another state. You know why I know this? Because she had sex with tons of other people after her ex died. The reality is that she DIDN'T WANT YOU. FUCKING WAKE UP. Women don't want a guy to "help her." They want to have their independence (whatever the fuck that means), and want you available IF and ONLY IF they want your help.

I suggest you tell her to fuck off and stop playing with your emotions. Maybe she would find you more interesting that way because now she knows you're not a fucking weakling to shit on and take advantage of.

Now, I've had conversations with you before and you typically disagree with me, and I really don't care if you do. But you have to realize that women don't want the loving, caring, and nurturing boyfriend. That's what babies need, not adolescent / adults.
User avatar #118281 to #118227 - theafroman (02/24/2014) [-]
I won't refute that I'm melodramatic, the whole situation is obviously petty from an outside perspective. But this whole idea that women don't want someone who acknowledges their existence seems a bit overplayed. I can understand that she doesn't want me, that's not at all what this was about. Like I said, this isn't some ploy that I'm using to make her fall for me or realize I'm the perfect guy for her, I'm not delusional. The point is that she could seriously make a bad decision for her and I'm trying to help her. Maybe she doesn't want or need my help, but sometimes people need an intervention to realize that somethings wrong. But you may be right, I'll take it into account nonetheless.
User avatar #118290 to #118281 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/24/2014) [-]
I never said they don't want to be acknowledged, I said they don't want to be catered to. They can be acknowledged in many ways, through activities, kissing, etc. but when you try to solve her problems for her, that's when you cross the line.

Now that I got that out of the way. She has to figure her life out on her own. Trying to help her really isn't going to change much because only SHE can be the catalyst of change, NOT YOU. You have to worry about your own life. Now I'm not saying you can ask her how she is doing once in awhile, but getting involved in every single problem can be annoying.
User avatar #118291 to #118290 - theafroman (02/24/2014) [-]
Well, it was along the same lines, but I stand by that with saying that some girls would prefer that to complete independence, it's just a matter of smothering someone. I will agree that I do that more than I should, so I see what you're saying. I think the real problem is that she doesn't think that what she's doing could be a problem. And sure, only she can actually make a change if she wants it, but sometimes you have to show them another way for them to realize that it's there in the first place. It's a good example of "I can open the door, but you have to walk through it".
#118195 - anonymous (02/23/2014) [-]
how to take off scabs?

Alright, before you say I should not, or it's a gross habit, listen up.

Yesterday, I was visiting one of my older friends in the hospital after recently giving birth. I had some nasty cuts on my legs, so I decided to ask a nurse about what to do with them. She said just to keep them clean and wash them, and soak them in hot water if they start getting scabby, to let them breathe, and since covering them breeds infection.
So, a few have started to cover up, so I drowned them in hot water when getting a shower, then washed them and soaked them again a few hours later, but it has does nothing to get rid of them, and they are still at the stage where I cannot pull them off.
Help?
User avatar #118199 to #118195 - kangaroorat (02/23/2014) [-]
Scabbing is not the covering she was talking about. Scabs are healthy; it is your body healing. Allow your skin to scab, and your skin will recover nicely.

Don't pick your scabs. It scars your skin if you keep at it. It is a gross habit, and it is very addicting. I have dermatillomania, or chronic skin picking, that derived from picking my scabs. It makes your skin look incredibly gross. Don't do it. Allow your skin to heal
User avatar #118365 to #118199 - lordzak (02/24/2014) [-]
I have a scar from picking a scab and the ends of my fingers are all chewed up.
#118198 to #118195 - anonymous (02/23/2014) [-]
you cant be this stupid
you should not its a gross habit
do you know what healing is?
User avatar #118196 to #118195 - misticalz ONLINE (02/23/2014) [-]
You're not supposed to get rid of them.
They are platelets blocking blood from coming out.
Just rub some rubbing alcohol on them every night and an infection shouldn't start. You're just prolonging them if you try to rip them off.
User avatar #118193 - snarfalupticus (02/23/2014) [-]
Can anyone send me a link or something where I can download a sound file of Macho Man Randy Savage saying OH YEAH and/or DIG IT? Any and all help would be greatly appreciated.
User avatar #118208 to #118193 - misticalz ONLINE (02/23/2014) [-]
Couldn't find him saying dig it so have this instead :^)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTUrWYv2vtU

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UoChk5pZIQ
In the first 5 seconds of this clip he says "oooh yeah" with no music behind it
User avatar #118209 to #118208 - misticalz ONLINE (02/23/2014) [-]
then just use You need to login to view this link or whatever and then open up audacity and just splice it so you only have what you want
export it as a .wav
there you go
User avatar #118225 to #118209 - snarfalupticus (02/24/2014) [-]
thanks, man. I appreciate the help.
User avatar #118219 to #118204 - snarfalupticus (02/24/2014) [-]
Thank, man! It's been killing me, looking for it, now I have it! <3
User avatar #118185 - vanhoutte (02/23/2014) [-]
Fellow Funnyjunkers. I am at a loss and have hit rock bottom. The love of my life. My queen. has left me. on top of that my parents have split up at the same time. Im in a very sticky situation. I am still close friends with her and I run a band with her. I have made so many mistakes in the past that ruined our relationship and the old saying comes into play "you dont know what you have until its gone". I love her. She doesnt love me anymore. If I seen the person I was standing in front of me I would not hesitate to kill him. I have changed so much for myself because If I were to change for her it would be for the wrong reasons. I need to want to change who I am for me. and I have been. But looking her in the face every goddamed day knowing I cant touch her, hold her or kiss her is torture. But I cant run away. It would hurt her again to do that. All I want is one last chance to show her the man i should have been. the man I want to be. and the man I am working so hard to become. Im on the brink of suicide. Ontop of that my parents are no longer together and putting this stress ontop of the other is too much. I have no one to love and nowhere to go. What do I do? Im begging you please. Help me.
User avatar #118473 to #118185 - vanhoutte (02/25/2014) [-]
Thank you all. pokemonstheshiz , nommonsterbaa , BigBoyJoe , and ScottP . I am having the roughest time of my entire life right now. No matter what happens she will always and forever have a very special place in my heart. But at least you have put it into perspective for me. It's a hard life full of despair, sadness, and cold hard facts. But there is nothing more we can do than to keep moving forward. Because to stand still in the face of life is to know death.
User avatar #118306 to #118185 - pokemonstheshiz (02/24/2014) [-]
Don't aim for her. Nothing hurts more than putting your happiness in the hands of others. If she wants to be with you, she'll realize it on her own. If she doesn't, then that sucks, but it's something where you may have to just move on. I know it sounds shitty, but there's no one action that will wins someone's heart.
User avatar #118280 to #118185 - nommonsterbaa ONLINE (02/24/2014) [-]
Continue on that self improvement, but don't try and make any direct approaches towards expressing this want you still have for her, at least in your current situation. If you're lucky enough that the two of you seems an ever so slightly possible thing again, then go for it, but with caution as to take it slow and not make choices without thought put into them. In improving yourself, keep that a priority to do so for yourself. At least be able to take hold of the fact that you could possibly lose her completely, never talking to her again and without the chance to be with her. In that case, you'll have yourself left, but a yourself that is better than in the past because you did so for your own good. However things end up, make the right choices and for the right reasons.
User avatar #118197 to #118185 - BigBoyJoe (02/23/2014) [-]
To me, the loneliness was the hardest thing, plus almost every single redhead reminding me of her. I honestly have no great one-liner advice that will turn everything around. Running and lifting helps me take my mind of things, so I guess there is always that. It will also give you a confidence boost in the long run. I don't know if you have any siblings, but when my parents split up, we found comfort in eachother, and we grew a lot closer helping eachother through it.
User avatar #118194 to #118185 - ScottP (02/23/2014) [-]
I was in the same situation as you (minus the divorce) and all I can say is that nothing anyone can say will help you. No words will provide solace, no inspiration a reprieve. If you want a chance to show her the man that you can be, then do it without her. That's the only way to do it, really. You can't bring her back without her wanting to. If she's made up her mind, don't waste your energy trying to live in a make-believe world.
User avatar #118175 - noxiouspumpkin (02/23/2014) [-]
I've been wanting to create some OC comps, but I don't know any good programs to make them in. Just leave some suggestions on what I should use.
User avatar #118183 to #118175 - jorgethemaster (02/23/2014) [-]
I use paint, it's the easiest, in my opinion.
User avatar #118176 to #118175 - misticalz ONLINE (02/23/2014) [-]
Photoshop
GIMP
Paint
#118167 - anonymous (02/23/2014) [-]
Okay so I'm a 14 year old boy fuck you faggots, don't judge and I met a girl on facebook a few months ago, today I am going to meet her for the first time. She has sent me pictures before and we talk on kik and facebook now I'm kind of afraid and nervous and shit that shes not who she says she is (Just paranoia no evidence) how do I make sure she is who she says she is?
User avatar #118205 to #118167 - supertanto (02/23/2014) [-]
snapchat or timestamp photo
User avatar #118184 to #118167 - megavoir (02/23/2014) [-]
bring a knife
[small]and lube[/small]
User avatar #118182 to #118167 - jorgethemaster (02/23/2014) [-]
Be careful, and make sure it isn't in a closed area, make it somewhere public. You never know who could be on the other end of those messages. It's very easy to impersonate someone.
#118168 to #118167 - miaou (02/23/2014) [-]
timestamp photo is the easiest way to go. you should probably Skype also just to be sure.
User avatar #118169 to #118168 - lacklusterpelican (02/23/2014) [-]
How do I ask for a timestamp without sounding weird?
User avatar #118172 to #118169 - misticalz ONLINE (02/23/2014) [-]
I'd bring a parent, make them sit in a car and watch. If it's actually who she says she is just give the parent the ok and they can leave.
#118173 to #118172 - anonymous (02/23/2014) [-]
Don't tell anyone I sent this shit either, don't wanna ruin my rep, thanks
User avatar #118174 to #118173 - misticalz ONLINE (02/23/2014) [-]
nigga you didn't even go anon
www.funnyjunk.com/advice/118169#118169
User avatar #118189 to #118174 - lacklusterpelican (02/23/2014) [-]
Yeah I fucked up I also fucked up and got to the meeting place too late
User avatar #118190 to #118189 - misticalz ONLINE (02/23/2014) [-]
h0w
User avatar #118191 to #118190 - lacklusterpelican (02/23/2014) [-]
Underestimated my time of arrival
User avatar #118192 to #118191 - misticalz ONLINE (02/23/2014) [-]
w0w
User avatar #118171 to #118169 - misticalz ONLINE (02/23/2014) [-]
you wont sound weird
#118170 to #118169 - miaou (02/23/2014) [-]
trust me, its not going to sound weird. you've only known her for a few months its normal that you're anxious. If she's who she says she is then she'll be willing to prove it.
i guess you can say you'll be willing to send one as well so it'll sound like more of an exchange rather than an interrogation of sorts.
#118150 - anonymous (02/23/2014) [-]
hi everyone. quick question. yesterday morning i confirmed that i got measles (or something similar; i don't know them very well. if needed, i can research a bit). i have a a few eruptions, a slight headache, a mild light sensitivity (not entirely sure about this one though. it's just that my headache gets a bit worse), in the last 11 hours i've only ate a big bowl of milk and cereal and a small snack. i also feel generally bad and if i turn my eyes too far to the sides or up/down it hurts for a bit.

i know it sounds like nothing much but it's gotten into my head that i might have encephalitis. can anyone dispel this for me? for instance, did you also have the headache and the eye or light thing? by the way, i'm 17.
thank you in advance for any help
User avatar #118154 to #118150 - makotoitou (02/23/2014) [-]
that means you're horny
#118162 to #118154 - anonymous (02/23/2014) [-]
nope. i beat it like michael jackson every 30 minutes im not even a dude [spoiler] nor a chick [spoiler] we must go deeper [/spoiler] [/spoiler]
#118163 to #118162 - anonymous (02/23/2014) [-]
i tried
0
#118165 to #118163 - Sunset has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #118148 - watermelloon (02/23/2014) [-]
My wrist has been hurting a lot, I went to the doctor before (couple months) he did an ex-ray and a final diagnosis of tendinitis + ibuprofen. Well it stopped hurting and now is hurting again, worse than the previous time.
I was wondering if you think I should purchase a wrist brace of some sort, or to just take Ibuprofen when the pain gets bad?
(its not carpal tunnel, as it is the top of my wrist btw)
User avatar #118206 to #118148 - supertanto (02/23/2014) [-]
ipostcp is right im not a doctor but I am jewish so i'm gonna prescribe you with some oxycotton and try not to get addicted
User avatar #118179 to #118148 - ipostcp (02/23/2014) [-]
TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR! WE AREN'T DOCTORS!
User avatar #118155 to #118148 - makotoitou (02/23/2014) [-]
Stop jerking off so much
User avatar #118161 to #118155 - watermelloon (02/23/2014) [-]
I use my other hand for that, the non-sore one. :F thanks for the suggestion tho!
User avatar #118149 to #118148 - watermelloon (02/23/2014) [-]
tendinitis and prescribed ibuprofen*


Sorry about that. :F
User avatar #118131 - butterisgood (02/23/2014) [-]
what software can i use to take a lot of screenshots on my PC without having to paste each one in paint and saving it individually?
User avatar #118180 to #118131 - jorgethemaster (02/23/2014) [-]
Use Puush or Gyazo.
puu.sh/77V5y.png
They make a link and you can screencap anything.
Puush is better, in my opinion.
User avatar #118143 to #118131 - yologdog (02/23/2014) [-]
It's usually a button combination of ctrl+prtscreen or fn+prtscreen or Windows button+prtscreen.

Just look up which one matches your computer on google.
User avatar #118135 to #118131 - ipostcp (02/23/2014) [-]
Or you can use "snipping tool" if you have windows.
User avatar #118137 to #118135 - butterisgood (02/23/2014) [-]
but is there a way to bind it to a hotkey or something?
User avatar #118138 to #118137 - ipostcp (02/23/2014) [-]
Not for that.

Puush is a website and it allows you to take quick screen shots. I'm pretty sure you can configure it so it saves them too.
User avatar #118139 to #118138 - butterisgood (02/23/2014) [-]
I guess i'll use that then, even if i dont feel like using a website and would just rather download something
User avatar #118140 to #118139 - ipostcp (02/23/2014) [-]
You do download it.

It can be configured to go to the website as a link that you can share with anyone, or you can have it save to your computer.
User avatar #118141 to #118140 - butterisgood (02/23/2014) [-]
oh, in that case, awesome
User avatar #118136 to #118135 - butterisgood (02/23/2014) [-]
this is so fucking cool
User avatar #118134 to #118131 - ipostcp (02/23/2014) [-]
You can go to puush.
User avatar #118128 - jokeface (02/23/2014) [-]
I have this female friend who I’m somewhat attracted to. She friendzoned me a while back, but I was never really bothered by that, because deep down I know that our differences mean we wouldn’t actually be happy as a couple. She’s an avid drinker and somewhat of a sex addict, which is a lifestyle I’m not quite fond of. But she’s also fun and goofy and very open, socially. So we’re basically just best friends, and I’m content with that. But the other night some things happened that almost shifted the paradigm of our friendship, and it’s left me in a state of pain, and if you’ll indulge me for a moment, I’d like to vent that pain here. It’s long so I’ll have to break it into parts. So, part 1:
So Friday night, she comes over at about 11pm. We’re just sitting in my living room, talking, like we normally do. She’s going on about the current guy in her life, who she wants to end things with because, surprise surprise, he’s a dick to her. You know how the old tale goes. Now, while we’re talking she’s drinking a Captain and Coke, the one and only drink she has all night, which is not a lot for her, as she has a high tolerance for alcohol. But something is wrong, because she’s getting noticeably drunker as the night goes on. Meanwhile, I don’t drink at all, so I’m still completely coherent.

CONT.
User avatar #118129 to #118128 - jokeface (02/23/2014) [-]
Anyway, the conversation gets deeper and more emotional as she begins to question whether or not she’s even meant to be in a relationship and be happy, and I’m doing my best to console her and reassure her that despite her narrow perspective, there are decent guys out there who would treat her right, including myself. I also give her some encouraging words about redemption, as she doesn’t like her lifestyle and wishes she was a better person. I try to reassure her that everyone is capable of change and self-improvement, and that she has so much potential in spite of her past mistakes. And while my efforts are met with little success, I do seem to be cheering her up a bit. We end up hugging for a long time, and as we hug she breaks down in tears. Meanwhile, she’s giving me every signal in the world to go in for the kiss, but I’m not about to take advantage of a drunk girl. Call me a faggot or a pussy, but I’m just not that kind of guy. Still, we’re holding hand as we’re talking, and eventually hug some more, before she slouches over and falls asleep with her head on my lap.

CONT.
User avatar #118156 to #118129 - makotoitou (02/23/2014) [-]
Wow, faggot pussy. She was baiting you into having sex you dense fucker.
User avatar #118130 to #118129 - jokeface (02/23/2014) [-]
So I’m sitting there in the darkened living room with her sleeping like that for about 4 hours. After 4 hours she gets a text and wakes up. I use this opportunity to stretch my legs. After having a brief texting conversation with her mom, she lies back down and urges me to go to sleep, at which point I move over to the other couch and proceed to alternate between laying down and sitting up for about 3 more hours, unable to sleep. Finally I manage to doze off for a bit, but then wake up at about 9am to the sound of the door closing as she starts to leave. I follow her out to walk her to her car, during which she tells me she doesn’t remember anything from the previous night.
This stings. Not just because of my attraction to her, but because I honestly thought she was making progress at bettering herself as a person. Now it’s like that whole conversation never happened. And it sucks.

END.
User avatar #118151 to #118130 - watermelloon (02/23/2014) [-]
you should message her and tell her you didn't do anything, that you just talked.
I don't think she will change like that, you'll find she will come and go between her friends and have a cry, before dating douches once again and eventually getting pregnant to one and realising she's completely fucked. Then bettering her life when she realises she's has to. I see / hear about this all the time in the area I live in and its honestly sad.

I think you should find someone else, distance yourself from her and try to find a decent girlfriend for yourself. You dont want someone like that in your life.


Also, I'm glad you didn't take advantage of her in her drunken state.
User avatar #118146 to #118130 - ScottP (02/23/2014) [-]
Maybe the memory will come back to her, but I understand your situation. I don't claim to understand how friendships between men and women work, especially if one party is attracted to the other, but it seems like what she needs right now is just support.
#118132 to #118130 - dehumanizer (02/23/2014) [-]
You had one chance and you blew it. Friendships between men and women dont work, you could have drank and had drunken benefits sex. But now she is probably getting railed by Chad while you are off crying yourself to sleep. Have fun beeing stomped under her heels.
User avatar #118127 - vortix (02/23/2014) [-]
i think i got a virus and i have no clue what to do.
ads. ads everywhere . everywhere like , between comments, in the middle of a picture ,covering a text just a complete random place.
random text being outlined with green(any text like "image boards" ) and lead to a link to a random advertisment.
broswer slow, random tabs opening, i cant open 2 pages without a pop-up .
what do ? i have no idea what to do.
User avatar #118186 to #118127 - megavoir (02/23/2014) [-]
use ccleaner
User avatar #118178 to #118127 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/23/2014) [-]
you might have adware. Check the following:

In chrome go to options -> tools -> extensions. Look for anything that's strange and remove it.

Also go to Control Panel -> add or remove programs and look for anything strange, uninstall it.

If that doesn't work then I would try virus scan.
User avatar #118145 to #118127 - yologdog (02/23/2014) [-]
www.revouninstaller.com/

Download the free program. No need to pay.

Use the program to manually forcibly uninstall or delete Trojans off your computer. Be careful not to delete important items. Delete Revo.

You could just get a program to do it for you but Manually doing it yourself is so much more gratifying.
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