>not going to amsterdam to smoke weed and fuck hookers
pleb

Italy : expect hot weather and really nice food.
Went to france but only paris so can't really say much about France in general.

You can't even smoke weed in the Netherlands unless you're a resident or you know someone who is.

Weedpass is only in certain cities. And there are tons of people that will just buy it for you.

My baby. <3

I played trombone
#SlideLyfe

I have one of those too. #Brass4Lyfe

I played all middle school.
I was the 8th grader who played Minuet in G

Psh, all of middle school? This is going to be my life. Fuck yeah music.

I produce music but I'm currently in the airforce for my actual job.

Well that's pretty damn cool. Good on you.

my son enjoys visiting the base

I don't have a kid but my teacher's 3 and 5 year olds basically are my children (babysitting)

Me and my baby <3

Cant tell what kind it is.. Tell me

She's an Encore acoustic in Blueburst.
I've got three other guitars, it's just this was the closest at the time

I play, just don't have my own guitar so i play friends when i can

Ahh, get a cheap one! That's what I did. And still do.
I have four good quality guitars, and all except one were under £100.

Eh. Airforce base. I can walk through the barracks and ask for one.

Ahhh, fairs enoughs

Steal her, and call her your own. Problem solved

i could do that, i could cut off all her hair and rename her Patrick and pretend she's a boy


100% chance of getting away with it and 100% chance of fucking her up mentally and emotionally
so yay great plan

Perfect plan.. 5 out of 5 whoopie golbergs

Just me.
Being me.
All alone.
In this wonderful world.

ur so preti x

thx xoxo

I bet you enjoy sitting alone.
Masturbating.
While sitting alone, you masturbate.

How does it feel being a dad.
Commenting on me.
Mastrubating.

Being a dad is awesome.
Commenting on you is bad, because i know your masturbating to my amazing hat and glasses.

shhhh

I'm biting the pillow no one will know

lock the door, smell my odor.

Pick up the soap you dumbass the blacks are staring

Damn you samuel, damn youuuuu...

My names Tyler... Are you cheating on me Marcie?

Damnit you're not Samuel? Well fuck, I'm not Marcie.
It's a bit dark in here.

Get the fuck out the the wash room

Lemme just get this
kthxbye

I have me and my brother Sammy, close enough.

football shirt ?

It's Dublin's Gaelic football team jersey. Gaelic football and rugby are the only sports I can tolerate.

Eh playing normal football for 10 years was fun, quit a few months ago though. On amateur level it isn't hurr ill fake an injury for a freekick hurr.

Adorable

Your son is so cuuuute, I can't even deal.

Oh, just leave me out </3
I thought we had love!
But i can forgive you.

Its ok

nigga how old are you

Nigga look at my profile

and how old is that wee qtpie?

25 months. i have a 2 month baby girl as well.

You got dem kiddos quite young. No judging here.

Your little boy is fucking adorable.

Well me and my wife are enjoying them, especially the girl. She had acid reflexes though so shes always grumpy, but i still love her.

What are you doing with a stick and... i think.. is that an ankh?

The stick and "anchor" are a meter ruler and a line transect, biology experimentation woop woop. I had to count plants so you can understand that this sign was the most exciting thing I had seen all day.

I obviously can't read, I read anchor instead of ankh. This exam tomorrow is going to go so well

Well kids are dumbasses
probably yeah.

Start going on a whole bunch of boards and get involved on the FJ community.
That's what I'm doing.

Doing the same thing, figured i start here
i dont really know what to put on the others...

My profile is open. You can look at what I put on the boards, I don't mind.
Politics and Religion would probably be least advised for a first time, unless your used to heavily defending your belief.

I swear i have no idea how that smiley face has gotten there

Maddabate

b-but i cant...

why not? whats the madda?

it is scientifically proven to relieve stress

And how can you not maddabate?

keep the lights on and the music full of energy

i just stay up.

Energy Drinks.
Lots of energy drinks.

Or Oranges, that works too.

Willem Dafoe is under your bed.

Jokes on you, I don't have a place for anything under my bed!

Добро пожаловать в ад

Ruairi please. Make an account.

I would drink coffee but that means having to make it and we have shitty coffee, along with the fact that I live with my parents and they don't need to know why I'm up at 1am making coffee.

Don't fap.

I tend to dress up in whatever sports gear I can find. Be it football, swimming, tennis, it doesn't matter. If it's there, I'm in it. Though to be fair, I often set it up for myself. Here's my finest effort. I was pretty chopped.

That's me with the cricket bat

You look very intense there. Well-focused on your game.

i like to take people's hats, not like steal them but take them and wear it in front of them until they notice

I've been trying to think but generally I just do the normal shit when drunk except there is the one time that was not so good.
So it was a 2 years ago and it was in the middle of GCSE module exams and me and two friends decided to have a drink to celebrate. Now this next bit will sound very trampy but it is something people of that age do a lot here, we drink in alleyways. This is because we cant go to somebodys house but often the parent doesnt know we drink and we want to hide from the police. So, we were doing that, I had a half bottle of vodka which usually gets me sufficiently drunk, my friend did too but my other friend had a 2 litre bottle of cider. So we finished our drink except the one who had the cider who had decided she didn't want to drink it. So I decided I hadn't had enough drink and downed 70% percent of it. So yeah, good well done me. So then I went into a kind of fancy chinese place and sat down and started chatting to people. Then I went out to the street and I basically had to sit down because I couldn't walk. We had to get my brother to come and collect me, while I was trying to convince him I wasn't drunk he would speed round corners so I would hit my head and he would have a little chuckle. Ran inside the house, met my sister with a drunken smile and then threw up all over the back door. Then ran upstairs to the bathroom, knocked down a lot of shit while my brother and sister were crying with laughter. Then ran and got my business studies textbook, ran again to my parents bed hugging the textbook in a fetal position and claiming I needed to revise.

So yeah, this is also kind of a cauntionary tale of not to drink over your limit. I've never been that bad since.

That... was a downer.

lol i was a legend

Ruairi you glorious cunt.

thank you ruairi
well i didnt say that so deal with it

what in the actual fuck did you just say?

Sitting on the computer talking with internet friends all day. That's all I ever do. Internet friends are the best.

>MFW I want to talk to internet friends but I can't

Xbox, FJ and Skyping with mah main boi because I have no real life friends now and thus have no reason to leave the house ever lelelel xoxoxo

I know babe, poppin dem collahz

you two are adorable<3

Adorable... Or sessi as fuck with our popped collars?

I have a same kind of denim vest. Twinsies.

CRIIIINNNGGGEEEE!!!

gmod > minecraft

Basically doing the same beb

I'm gonna have to repeat this year anyways.

High five for being lazy!

It's basically math that fucked me over.
Rest of my subjects are good enough..

Math is my worst enemy.

I don't understand any of it. Big chance that i'll even fuck it up next year lol

gg gl

Well atleast i won't have to do anything on the other subjects i guess.
although i didn't really do much already..

So just math for a year? Oh joy.

Well i'll still have to go to the classes and shit, but math is the only one i will have to actually study for

Oh moi, have fun.

>school
>fun
yeah..

Well you can always procrastinate.

Like right at this moment

Well done. What are you doing besides answering my pointless comments?

Waiting on my game of thrones download, talking on skype, listening music, loggin in on LoL

GoT is pure awesome, LoL not so much.

oi ur mum m8 fite me irl
Season finale woo.

My mother is dead.

I should watch it but I am lazy and should go play something.

Yeah you should.

You may end up the loser twin if you fail but at least you'll always be able to shoplift melons in your huge flapping vagooter!!

That's my favorite picture ever

it is a skill not many have

Haven't even touched minecraft in ages.

Never had one.

Meh, it really wasn´tthat good, I think I´ll pass on a second one. You didn´t miss much.

Well that's good then

Going alright I suppose.

Enjoy your taco

Alright doesn´t sound that good...

I´m still waiting, my friends are unreliable.(

It's a Sunday, I have nothing to do apart from coursework, so it's not a brilliant day - but it's not bad.

And damn your friends for making you wait!

I wish I at least had coursework to do, I´m ill, my TV is broken and I don´t have anything to read left. But well, tomorrow is monday, so look forward to the week.

Nah, I can´t accuse them of anything, after all they don´t have to bring me books and food only because I´m ill but they still do it. Guess I can overlook tardiness

Awh that sucks! What're you ill with? And why not catch up some shows on the net or something?

That's pretty sweet, wish my friends would bring me books and food.

I don´t even know, my immune-system sucks, yesterday I was completely fit, out partying, today I woke up, my sight went black directly after I stood up and I fell, I can´t see straight, headache, etc, etc...I have this shit at least once a month, but at least it´s always over after 2-3 days.

Yeah, my friends are assholes and idiots, but they can be nice guys/girls from time to time.D And I´ve done this shit for everyone of them, too, before, so it´s jist normal.

Sounds horrible, you been to the doctors about it? Or is it something you're just getting on with?

As are my friends, sometimes. But they're still pretty damn awesome.

I´ve been traveling from doctor to doctor all the time not only because of this, still no idea, what exactly I have, so I kinda just accept it.

As are most friends - else they wouldn´t be friends.

Sounds like what I had to go through, it's annoying as Hell when all these different doctors have no clue about what's wrong. But hoping you feel better soon!

And that's very true, indeed.

Yeah, I´m sure sometimes a doctor will find out what it is
Thanks, tho

I play bitches to get guitars....

Oh oki.

''choco you just had to take my angle that looks like I'm about to crawl my way over to get some titty milk and tractor''

v good v good

Die

sorry im a legend

Most people who think they should vlog, shouldn't. You need to be good at editing videos, have great recording equipment, and have excellent volume and tone control, while avoiding things like "ummmm" and "so yeah" or else you're just another kid talking to a webcam in your bedroom.

If I'm editing it, wont I just edit out my umms?

Get in the practice of avoiding all bad speech patterns all together. Editing should be used to add impact, not remove bad speech.

Well according to my english teacher, I have a very natural voice.

What do you mean by "add impact", if I might ask?

Jump between topics you want to discuss quickly and fluidly.

- Current events (read alot of news and shit.)
- Current music news/gaming news/ etc.
- Shit people are interested in eharing about.

It's easy to Vlog if you are giving people news that they haven't heard yet, then slip in your own twist on it and BOOM.

Isn't vlogging something for people who are already pretty known on youtube?
But maybe you can talk about yourself being transgendered n shit.

Hey Leg and Dairy Hello, if you're there, I had an idea to make a video!
Its like, a short film thingy. Its like a crew of people who dont know that they're not part of the USS Enterprise.
So we are at school, but they see everything as aliens, and cars as spaceships and whatnot.

...its a lot better when you read the actual script...

>implying this isnt just a name.
...I mean its not, but still. It isnt exactly the most... interesting thing I could talk about...

Are you feeling alright?

hmm?

marry me?

yeah k

<3

not realy ive head a gig with my band yesterday and we sucked so im kinda dissapointed. anyway are you having a nice day?

im sure you did fine and im sunburned so is an all right day

where you from? how badly did u burned urself?

im from Newcastle in England and quite bad on my chest and arms

damn! i hope you get better so you had good weather as well thats nice

thanks it was okay for a couple of days its going to be about 16 Celsius all week which is boiling for me so were are you from

hah you Uk people and your weather i feel sory for ya. Im from a little country called slovenia if you heard about it?

yes i have herd of Slovenia it look like a nice. i can not stand hot weather at all since im pale i just burn so its not much fun so got any plans for tomorrow

well you take care of yourself i dont want you to burnn yourself up. hm well tomorow i have school and driving lessons so nothing special. maybe i would go and write some stuff for the band... and you what do you have planned?

well nothing really im homeschooled so i don't even have to got to school i think i might make a cake but im not to sure yet

wow homeschooling. is it cool? can you sleep whenever u want? well if you are gonna make a cake then good luck on it. can we continue this conversation tomorow? im a little tired i have to get up at 5.

hello im back

hi sory that i totaly forgot about you but ive had so much work to do. so how are you

its okkay im good thank you how about you

im ok. well just doing my project for school (well i was supposed to but then funnyjunk came along) and what are you doing?

well its my moms birthday today so some of of my family are over

hard times? or are you enjoying urself when family comes?

no i love my family soo im enjoying it just watching the tennis with my grandma

thats nice! i mostly meet people who hate their parrents but i never get why...
by the way offtopic question do you have any boyfrends/girlfrends?

No i have no boyfriend Im a girl by the way do you

well i suppose it is cool but i tend to sleep less now that im homeschooled i dont know why i just do haha good look at getting up at five talk to you tomorrow

I'm pretty nice to people on the internet.

But then I'm an ass IRL.

ok

I don't think so
Maybe it's you

Why so serious on the internet? Weirdo.

The way I see it, that's the best part about the internet. You can say things on here that you can't say in real life, due to social protocol and such, and that is what makes the internet so fun.
Besides, compared to most other sites with communities like Funnyjunk, we are pretty tame.

Pussy.

and you take it seriously?
Learn to tell sarcasm, or when someone is joking. Because i know there are SOME people that do that seriously, it isnt often at all. There are decent people on here, but i feel like you're just all sensitive about the bad people that you dont take notice in the good.
And there are worse places than this, more vicious and cruel.

You're not supposed to take the Internet seriously.

There are worse places on the web mate, i suggest you grow some thicker skin. Theres nasty people wherever you go. Its just the case on funnyjunk that theres a lack of consequences. I'm guessing you have heard the phrase Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. Well in this case its giving people masks and they call you a faggot/pussy. As desdemona said though you shouldn't really take this shit seriously. If you cannot handle funnyjunk then how the hell are you going to be able to survive in the real world? Worst comes to worst just leave if its upsetting you that much. You also mentioned people insulting others well... If you can't ignore an insult, top it. If you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved.

You know most of it is harmless banter right?

I know what you mean, I adore babies to the fullest.
Of course, I love children too. I mean, it's the beginning of ones lifetime, y'know? The very start. And it's so exciting to watch someone grow up, escpecially if it's someone you know, or love.

no, not weird

that's not weird at all, they're weird

Man, you're the derpy teen wolf.

thanks bebs

Sorry loveyameanish, couldn't crop you

I can't not smile whilst looking at this. Look at that cheeky glint in your eyes. You know exactly what you're doing.

Yes you do

Oh and yay I get meany as an added bonus<3

Yes, because of the two of us in that picture, you're totally the one who should be embarrassed.

Nigger please.

> nigga im rollin in hoes

granny beside you
v good i laughed loudly

I should be shot.

pls no

chinese v mexican burrito.

Omg you just never stop being cute, do you?

<3

Why can't i mouth all this donut?

I have so many more funny ones of you than I do of myself. Sad times.

So use them nignog

cba to take another pic so have this one

Omg bethy so gorgeous wifey xoxo

Wifey babe!!!!!! xoxo

Here, have some of my profile pictures.

Best I could do