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User avatar #38 - Rule (08/13/2011) [-]
One night i got drunk and my friend drove me to his place so i could crash on his couch. well when i woke up the next morning it turns out i **** myself in the middle of the night. not just like a turd but the sloppy **** you get after you drink a lot. i got up to clean my self off and it slipped out on his floor and left a stain. i ended up taking a quick shower and stealing one of his towels and pairs of shorts. i dumped my old under wear and shorts in the dumpster. too this day he still thinks the stain is throw up. FML
#219 - joshthesuperiorone (08/14/2011) [-]
One time i shaved my pubes in my dads shower then finished showering and took a nap.When i woke up I heard [url deleted] dad was yelling at my mom for shaving in his shower and getting his sponge and entire shower full of pubes.Then I thought I was off...until my mom blamed me and i got really embarressed and had to say i did it because they could tell.Then i had the most awkward dinner of my life.FML
User avatar #215 - TehGirman (08/14/2011) [-]
Tie up the daughter and put her outside in the sun.
User avatar #211 - lolzpersonok (08/14/2011) [-]
Today, I got onto the city bus to go home. As I sat down, I began to imitate the way Asians speak Chinese/Japanese/English. I then heard a polite "excuse me" right beside me in clear English. Apparently a Chinese girl had watched the entire thing. Sitting right beside me. FML
#198 - brianandthetube (08/14/2011) [-]
during school, had to use bathroom, went to the urinal and went and whatnot. unfortunately, i pulled down my pants but not my boxers. had no change of clothes and it was the beginning of the day. i walked around with a giant piss stain in school all day as everyone laughed at me in the halls. FML
User avatar #194 - noobkillo (08/14/2011) [-]
Get a good grade for my English assignment, after class walk into the toilets needing to take a leak, listening to ipod whistling to parkway drive, try scream along with screamer but fail horribly, finish taking a leak and turn around to wash hands, asian caretaker lady standing at door way with a group of boys that need to clean graffiti. FML
#179 - cubanbigfoot (08/14/2011) [-]
And then nine months later after the girl wrapped her legs around the man to make sure she got pregnant, the man finally finds the girl, so he goes to her house, she opens the doors, he gets on the floor and says "Why did you do this to me?! I'm not financially ready for a baby!" She then looks at the guy and says, "Oh, it's you. Yeah I've been meaning to tell you that I was on the pill and I just wanted to **** with you. Guess it worked." She then kicks you out and you cry on her doorstep.

Now that would be a FML.
User avatar #177 - Shadowlordninek (08/14/2011) [-]
I went funnyjunk and didn't laugh. FML.
#173 - megustamooseta (08/14/2011) [-]
**megustamooseta rolls 15**
#103 - Jbonevan (08/14/2011) [-]
Parents just don't understand.
User avatar #95 - thortron (08/13/2011) [-]
Yesterday I was out with my best bro, we saw cap america then snuck into 30 minutes or Less. While there we kept joking around and stuff like that. I make a comment about how lucky I was my crazy ex-girlfriend wasn't there. Next thing I know someone punches me in the face and starts screaming about me being an asshole.
#80 - gerdinn (08/13/2011) [-]
Today, thinking I was being very generous, I lent my jacket to my new co-worker. I guess I should have checked my pockets before I did, I’m not sure that leaving 3 different flavors of condoms in them made a good impression.
#42 - dramakid ONLINE (08/13/2011) [-]
wut
wut
#112 - anonymous (08/14/2011) [-]
My phone reads out the name of the person texting me, well one day (about 3 years ago) my boyfriend at the time was texting me and I thought I was home alone so I had my ringer on loud. Well my mom walks in and it goes off and says *our secret code word for sex that i wont put on here* I had totally forgotten that he had put that in my phone as his name the night before, she then asked me what *secret word* meant I told her it was his nick name. Well the next day he came over and she was calling him that name all day. FML.
#110 - shadowstuart (08/14/2011) [-]
I know this random .. awesome comp i thumber

but where can you get teddy grahams , it was my favourite cereal when younger but they stopped selling it here ?
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