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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #201 - ButtonFly ONLINE (08/14/2011) [-]
At least her mom tries to convince her that she's not a vampire. My mom spends the better part of her time teasing me, telling me that I am a vampire simply because I have a few physical characteristics that might be associated with the creatures. FML
User avatar #118 - kingofgreed (08/14/2011) [+] (1 reply)
one of my cousins class mates didnt go home one day and i decided to test her safety skills
me:if someone comes up to you and says your mom told me to take you home what do you do?
her:scream as lod as possible
me:now if someone that looked like justin bieber or edward cullen did it...?
her:id go with them in a heart beat
my cousin is 16 fml
#31 - smashcal (08/13/2011) [-]
That BE MY BABIES DADDY one is one of my utmost favourite fmls. Amazing, I so hope it's true.
Pic related.
#207 - hockeynuh (08/14/2011) [+] (1 reply)
Im surprised nobody has ended their long fml story with "open the door. Get on the floor. Everybody walk the dinosaur" yet
#206 - fadetometallica (08/14/2011) [-]
Best friend steals about $400 worth of **** from me, lies to me, and uses me.
I say I hope he dies to my other friend.
Nobody has seen him in five days, not even his family.
I feel terrible.
User avatar #204 - daviddellarocco (08/14/2011) [-]
one day after work my sister brought her friends over to go swimming and one of her friends was pretty tappable so i went to the bathroom to fap to her and right when i was about to jizz she came walking right into the bathroom and screamed and i never talked to her again.FML, i think she was looking for q-tips or something
User avatar #193 - unicornpower (08/14/2011) [-]
my fml is in a post http://funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/2457934/You+should+read+the+whole+thing/
bas ically i tried to take me boyfriend's and lose my virginity. and he couldnt get hard
what i didnt post is that a few days later we tried again and tried and tried and tried and he still couldnt. then later after we had given up i looked at the rapper for the condom we tried to use and realized that it was trojan "extended pleasure" what that ******* idiot didnt understand is that this kind of condom has a numbing lube that makes the genital area less sensative and makes the intimate two last longer. that ******** should have read the ******* wrapper. FML
User avatar #187 - ZombieFox (08/14/2011) [+] (2 replies)
When I was in 4th grade one day I was'nt feeling well and I decided I was going to ask to use the restroom the teacher had asked a question right before I raised my hand and so she told me I could go after I answered the question, but as I was about to say the answer I threw up all over my desk and on the floor :( never forgot that. and another time I was'nt feeling well and so I was drinking cranberry juice. My mom made me go to school anyways. As soon as I started walking up the hallway i threw up purple gunk every five minutes and could'nt walk. It continued through most of 1st period with me constantly excusing myself from the classroom until I finally went to the school nurse. Mom took 2 hours to pick me up. FML :(
User avatar #186 - TheNarutoUzumaki (08/14/2011) [-]
I was getting something out the back pocket on my pants and I was having a hard time with getting my hand in my pocket. My aunt's friend turned and looked at me for a moment and froze, and turned back around, Probably thinking I was digging in my butt. FML
#185 - sleepingsmudge (08/14/2011) [-]
4 was the best
User avatar #184 - turnerdude (08/14/2011) [-]
i had sex for the first time a few months ago. we started with a blowjob and i came a lot in her mouth... after about 1 minute... and i couldnt get hard again to go further FML
#183 - tommygunntyler (08/14/2011) [-]
**tommygunntyler rolls 8,857**
User avatar #168 - WhoTheFuckDoesThis (08/14/2011) [+] (1 reply)
I made a Playstation account once and named myself Twilight-Kahn, A week later, my friend tells me about the Twilight series. FML!
User avatar #159 - inhovawetrust (08/14/2011) [-]
When I was about 6, I was running around my basement in circles. My mom told me to stop running, and I turned to her and yelled no. I turned forward and hit my head off of the refrigerator in front of me. I got 17 stitches, and I laughed the entire way to the hospital. 11 years later, I still have a dent in my head.
#151 - hardhitter (08/14/2011) [-]
well this is an fml and a "am i the only one". but once in high school i was **** n pissing and when i was done, upon standing i took a **** , but i was like lol kinda funny until i remember that whenever you poop... thou must pee. so i pissed all over my pants and boxers. i managed to dry it later, during which i got odd looks, but i still smelled like piss.
User avatar #114 - ghostoftrolling (08/14/2011) [-]
fml moment meet a chick online shes got hot pics of her self,we meet up turns out shes a 200 pount fat chick fml
#57 - Common Pepe (08/13/2011) [+] (6 replies)
**anonymous rolls 421** trips and we all become vampires like Alucard.
#41 - DarkFisted (08/13/2011) [-]
One day in class we found a tiny spider and I let it crawl on my hand.
it was about to bite me so I and screamed "HOLY **** !" and threw it.
Everyone heard. And my teacher was right behind me. FML
User avatar #38 - Rule (08/13/2011) [-]
One night i got drunk and my friend drove me to his place so i could crash on his couch. well when i woke up the next morning it turns out i **** myself in the middle of the night. not just like a turd but the sloppy **** you get after you drink a lot. i got up to clean my self off and it slipped out on his floor and left a stain. i ended up taking a quick shower and stealing one of his towels and pairs of shorts. i dumped my old under wear and shorts in the dumpster. too this day he still thinks the stain is throw up. FML
User avatar #19 - guyfromclarksville (08/13/2011) [-]
And that bitch will still be able to sue him for child support.
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