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#68 - Baffalo (10/13/2010) [-]
1) Yes, your tears just get lost in the rest of the water.
2) Dying of Old Age is no longer a valid reason on death certificates
3) I would imagine not, but I don't know
4) No. Farting involves the rectum, not your stomach, and in both cases it's higher pressure that's being equalized.
5) No, it's an American Elephant that hasn't had a liberal stamp put on it yet.
6) No he becomes a Prince. Queen Elizabeth's husband is Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh.
7) Easter is a pagan religion using two symbols of fertility, the egg and the rabbit. Christianity picked up both and ran with it.
8) The atmosphere is a hollow sphereoid
9) It's an instinct to being pelted by something
10) It's the most printed book so it has the most thefts
#79 to #68 - Edzone **User deleted account** (10/13/2010) [-]
You must be great fun at parties...
User avatar #70 to #68 - StrayBullet (10/13/2010) [-]
Killjoy.
User avatar #71 to #68 - Filby (10/13/2010) [-]
You bastard, you stole my idea. FYI 3. They do still show the movie. In the event of late-comers and it would cost more to change the showing schedule
0
#75 to #68 - irateyourstuff **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#80 to #75 - TheSneakyjoker (10/13/2010) [-]
I found a picture of Baffalo
#85 to #80 - SmellyLama (10/13/2010) [-]
uuurrraaaaahhhh
User avatar #174 - PhoenixWrong ONLINE (10/13/2010) [-]
that wasnt an elephant it was a large slave
User avatar #172 - Cambro (10/13/2010) [-]
Irrelevant. They're both queens
User avatar #185 to #172 - jamboy (10/13/2010) [-]
it is also irrelephant

unlike the african- american question
User avatar #152 - infadel (10/13/2010) [-]
10) The Bible is the most printed book in the world, so a higher amount will be stolen over all
User avatar #137 - HumbertoL (10/13/2010) [-]
1. Yes
2. You really die of "old age".You die "natural causes" which are more common in the elderly.
3. No
4. Burps are gas in the stomach, farts are gas in the colon and large intestine. They are completely separate. Theoretically, the vacuum effect would only take place if you sucked air in through your ass when you burped, and sucked in air through your mouth when you farted.
5. No, its still an African Elephant. You only attach "American" to those who have acquired citizen ship in the U.S. but were born in another country. (i.e. Mexican-American)
6. Both are king
7. South park explained that one.
User avatar #140 to #137 - HumbertoL (10/13/2010) [-]
8. It's a sphere, with a hollow center, (because the ground, or water, any part of earth isn't part of the sky, and therefore isn't accounted for)
9. Water hits back, instead of face.
10. If you haven't read the bible, how would you know its a commandment? That's why you steal it, so you will know the moral blah blah blah (you get the point)
User avatar #144 to #137 - invadersoup (10/13/2010) [-]
3 is kinda true. even if only 1 or two people buy tickets. unless you sneak in and they dont know youre there. then they don't show it.
User avatar #145 to #144 - HumbertoL (10/13/2010) [-]
It said nobody, so if it was truly nobody, they wouldn't show it. If only a few people bought tickets they probably would have to show it.
User avatar #150 to #145 - invadersoup (10/13/2010) [-]
yeah, i took that into account. i said it was kinda true. one person isn't that important, so they could just give a refund. (ps wtf is up with the green text?)
User avatar #153 to #150 - HumbertoL (10/13/2010) [-]
Yeah, either refund, or a gift card for the concession stand or free movie tickets. Something like that.

Most people with green text got it for getting to the front page over the weekend. I got mine by helping provide information to solve bugs.
#163 to #153 - fapping (10/13/2010) [-]
Your....you....your green text...its....its way better than mine....
#155 to #153 - invadersoup (10/13/2010) [-]
oooooh. anyway, i see my stupidity. that happened to me when i saw monty pythons search for the holy grail at a classic movie night thing.
User avatar #148 to #137 - HumbertoL (10/13/2010) [-]
*2. You really don't die of "old age".You actually die of "natural causes" which are more common in the elderly.
User avatar #211 - eddi (10/13/2010) [-]
1, 3, 4 - no
2 - really ******* old
5 - no, it's a **********
6 - technically they're both queens
7 - rabbits are faster, and cuter
8 - BIG
9 - because people are stupid
10 - bitches be crazy
#222 to #211 - Ken M (10/13/2010) [-]
in fact you CAN cry underwater, but you can't feel the tears... or feel them on your sheek
User avatar #235 to #222 - eddi (10/13/2010) [-]
sheek?
#218 to #211 - Ken M (10/13/2010) [-]
re:9-natural reflex of stupid people
User avatar #219 to #218 - eddi (10/13/2010) [-]
indeed
#115 - Fin (10/13/2010) [-]
1: Yes
2: All death certificates have to include a specific medical cause of death, whatever the age of the deceased.
3: Yes. They have to air the movie for the company that they purchased it from.
4: Yes, you will die.
5: No
6: King Richard the Lion-heart was gay.
7: The Egg and the Rabbit are both symbols of fertility.
8: No shape.
9: Maybe it's because of the weight of the rain or they don't wanna get water on their heads.
10: Because people suck.
User avatar #132 to #115 - WheresMyAccount (10/13/2010) [-]
10: If they are stealing it, its probably because they haven't read it yet, so they don't know about that commandment
User avatar #127 to #115 - TheOriginalNerd (10/13/2010) [-]
the sky is a ball just like the earth if the earth wasnt inside it would still be round but gravity makes it a ball just like the earth

and cuz people love the bible so much
User avatar #226 - Lambda (10/13/2010) [-]
I actually have an answer to number 3. I worked as a projectionist for a while. In all my time working there, we never had a movie where nobody showed up. However, we did have a procedure.
This cinema sold tickets at the door up until 10 minutes after the start of the movie.
If no tickets were bought in advance, I was supposed to run the movie even if there was nobody in the theater.
If 10 minutes passed with nobody buying tickets, we were supposed to stop the movie and rewind it for the next showing.
And what a bitch it was, de-threading and rewinding the film in the middle like that!
I think it would have been better to start the movie if someone showed. But management didn't see it like that.

TL; DR: They show the first 10 minutes.
#232 to #226 - bradass (10/13/2010) [-]
I work at a theater now, with both digital and reel to reel projections, and we just play the whole thing no matter what. If it is a film that will run very late (say, 2 or 3 am) then we will only show it if there are tickets purchased.

So I guess what I'm saying is it probably depends on your company policy.
User avatar #241 to #232 - Lambda (10/13/2010) [-]
Yeah, this was a smaller place, not a big chain.
How about those new digital projectors? I can't imagine that the definition is as good as film.
User avatar #191 - WaitWTF (10/13/2010) [-]
1. Of course you can. Tears will still leave, just may not be visible.
2. You die of old age when you die of a natural death
3. Yes, sometimes people will show up to the movie
4. No. You would just fart and burp at the same time.
5. No. African-American is a term used for a human race, not an animal. It's an elephant from Africa
6. The king would not get elected if he was gay
7. The easter bunny is a fictional character of a child's fairytale, although it probably represents the renewal of life
8. The sky has no distinct shape. It's an area of being, just like the air has no shape
User avatar #193 to #191 - WaitWTF (10/13/2010) [-]
9. The first reaction to rain tapping on your head causes your brain to believe more danger may come, triggering your immediate defense system in your body
10. Because nobody reads it, they just like to have it around to show that their holy people or respect a religion
User avatar #202 to #193 - TheKidInMyTrunk (10/13/2010) [-]
all but 1 right my good friend

#6. Whoever is catching is named Queen
User avatar #199 to #193 - waluigiboy (10/13/2010) [-]
This may be stupid, but wouldn't the sky be spherical?
#215 to #199 - Ken M (10/13/2010) [-]
Finally a person with the brain enough to understand we're on a planet, not a flat surface like the bible say.
#195 to #193 - surfby **User deleted account** (10/13/2010) [-]
true but, at least when u sob. u gasp. so you would choke and die?
User avatar #212 to #195 - aqualadFTW (10/13/2010) [-]
Well yeah thats what normally happens when you try to breathe underwater.
#205 to #191 - Ken M (10/13/2010) [-]
Actually @8, it's a sphere. You at the inside of a sphere. The sky is a bloody sphere.
#181 - sSsXzZz (10/13/2010) [-]
why are none of these crazy?
User avatar #170 - TheFallenAngel (10/13/2010) [-]
7.Because when Jesus came back from the dead, everybody was like HOLY **** HIDE THE EGGS JESUS IS BACK. USE THE RABBITS HE WON'T LOOK THERE
#166 - DEATHBURGER (10/13/2010) [-]
how come superman can get shoot in the eye with a bullet but has to duck if they threw the gun at him??
#160 - AlbinoPickle (10/13/2010) [-]
the bible is stolen because everyone loves some irony
for instance i drink some water after every piss
User avatar #164 to #160 - shadowbolt (10/13/2010) [-]
I think we should trust this guy, he doesn't look like he'd rob me.
+2
#142 - ElPerroNegro **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #130 - ukuleleofvengeance (10/13/2010) [-]
Number 10: they stole it so that they could read it; therefore not knowing what the ten commandments were at the time of the theft.
#124 - ICEDgrunge (10/13/2010) [-]
answer to all 10:because you touch yourself at night.
+2
#26 - billaman **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
+2
#17 - Geeforce **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #23 to #17 - Dynamictaco (10/12/2010) [-]
I WAS JUST THINKING THAT.
#10 - BoulevardBelle **User deleted account** (10/12/2010) [-]
In response to the question about the movie theater : They do still play it.
User avatar #59 to #10 - eldorito (10/13/2010) [-]
Not at my movie theater. We can't afford to use the electricity.
User avatar #120 - mikaelkid (10/13/2010) [-]
1.) Yes you can cry under water, just wont feel the tears.
2.) Average age is 67
3.) No the movie will not show, it will only show if there are 3 or more.
4.) Yes, yes a vaccum will be made and you'll get sucked in. -_-
5.) No, it's still just an Elephant.
6.) Gay brother in law // son in law.. they would have to adopt.
7.) This is an old tradition.
8.) Sky is not a shape, but an element (in a way) made up of elements.
9.) Most duck, not from rain, but from fear of being hit by lightning.
10.) I do not know.
User avatar #126 to #120 - TheOriginalNerd (10/13/2010) [-]
the sky is a ball just like the earth if the earth wasnt inside it would still be round but gravity makes it a ball just like the earth

and cuz people love the bible so much
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