Meeting the new girlfriend/boyfriend
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177 comments displayed.
#4
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aahrg (04/13/2013) [-] if my daughter came home and her boyfriend was an investment banker and yale graduate, i'd be happy to let them go out.
if she came home with some thug she found one night while clubbing, i'd have a problem
if she came home with some thug she found one night while clubbing, i'd have a problem
#35 to #4
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thascomrad (04/13/2013) [-] Not to be mean or anything, but i think i have killed you in BF3 since your gamertag is nonoes777
#130 to #76
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babbylicious (04/14/2013) [-] Both would only think about ******* her yeah, but if the Yale guy gets her pregnant and if he decides to pussy out and run, then he will essentially ruin his entire career, so in theory, there is a higher chance of him sticking around and providing for the daughter properly (money wise)
The thug, well he won't really give a **** . His life is pretty much **** and he is just YOLOing it out. Even if he does stick around if he gets her pregnant, he will be able to provide less than the investor
The thug, well he won't really give a **** . His life is pretty much **** and he is just YOLOing it out. Even if he does stick around if he gets her pregnant, he will be able to provide less than the investor
#133 to #131
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babbylicious (04/14/2013) [-] There is a difference, of course thugs can be gentlemen and gentlemen can be thugs, but generally speak, the more educated one in this case would be the banker.
#18 to #13
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tigersstripes (04/13/2013) [-] you are 14. thank god, i thought everyone was either 12 or at least 16
#21 to #18
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animationhac ONLINE (04/13/2013) [-] I thought you had to be 18 to make an account here. O.o
#161 to #94
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animationhac ONLINE (04/14/2013) [-] True however, I know this. Was just poking fun of someone.
#176 to #94
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deathstare (04/14/2013) [-] You don't really need to be 18 to look at porn. People just say that to avoid judgement.
You can have sex anytime you want after puberty, as long as it is not filmed or exploited.
Why wouldn't the same go for watching porn in your house?
If you haven't noticed by now, I have no idea what I'm talking about
You can have sex anytime you want after puberty, as long as it is not filmed or exploited.
Why wouldn't the same go for watching porn in your house?
If you haven't noticed by now, I have no idea what I'm talking about
#23 to #21
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tigersstripes (04/13/2013) [-] people would just go on the internet and lie. They would. Its really just a safety procedure so they can't get in trouble cause some mom thought her kid was being soiled by the less appropriate things on here, and sue them for giving kids porn. "We thought we were giving it to a legal adult, they checked here 'i am at least 18'" yadayada legal crap
#24 to #23
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animationhac ONLINE (04/13/2013) [-] I was only saying for being 14 years old and admitting you made the account when you are 11 isn't really a great thing to admit. People normally make fun of that kind of thing while being 16+ on this site is more okay. I know people lie however you should never admit being young here.
#25 to #24
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tigersstripes (04/13/2013) [-] when i first made my account a year ago, i never admitted my age, now i do every once in a while. Because i am now in Highschool it makes it OK
#26 to #25
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animationhac ONLINE (04/13/2013) [-] It doesn't have to do with anything of High school. Majority of people here are actually 16+. Being 14 or 15 still is kind of pushing it (which are average freshmen in HS ages). Anyone below 18 should never say their age (imo) for the simple fact that people will not take kindly to younger people on a mature site.
#27 to #26
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tigersstripes (04/13/2013) [-] eh, i don't care. I know what you are saying and i act mature so people can't guess my age. But saying you are in highschool does make a difference from saying you are in middle
#54 to #53
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tigersstripes (04/13/2013) [-] yeah, even at 12 i didn't act like some people. someone told me, the first time i admitted my age, that i had made a mistake and now everyone would hate me, i told them that i didn't care, because they would have never guessed my age, i just don't act it. On the internet no one knows you are a plum. no one.
#101 to #56
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tigersstripes (04/14/2013) [-] its actually a legal matter, as users have access to some things....
#112 to #107
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tigersstripes (04/14/2013) [-] yeah, like facebook. most 13 year olds don't need a facebook, but 10 year olds lie so they can get on...
#114 to #111
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tigersstripes (04/14/2013) [-] haha, no, there are adults, or pre-teens. At least it seems to me...
#51
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thatkiddonovan (04/13/2013) [-] >marry a lawyer
>never win another argument again
>doomed to a life of sadness
>suicide is imminent
>family's life destroyed
>wife quits practicing law falls into drug abuse
Never marry a lawyer.
>never win another argument again
>doomed to a life of sadness
>suicide is imminent
>family's life destroyed
>wife quits practicing law falls into drug abuse
Never marry a lawyer.
#166 to #51
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whoeatspenguin (04/14/2013) [-] >implying you ever really win an argument with your wife anyways
#143 to #11
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alcoholicsemen (04/14/2013) [-] I like that you just want to **** if only my penis didn't disgust you and I had my own personal problems sorted out. I might stand half a chance
#71 to #68
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somedumbcomics [OP](04/13/2013) [-] Well...it's kind of like...well...it's hard to explain...
Okay, so you've got two piles of lunch meat...
Okay, so you've got two piles of lunch meat...
#104 to #68
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setittowumbo (04/14/2013) [-] Go on google and search "Lesbian Porn" It's not that hard...
#50 to #11
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restfullwicked ONLINE (04/13/2013) [-]
you ever consider the idea that she is being your Wingwoman?
if so i think you owe your mom a massive high five for keeping you in the game.
if so i think you owe your mom a massive high five for keeping you in the game.
#64 to #11
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somedumbcomics [OP](04/13/2013) [-] I once knew a lesbian couple who were both named Amy.
Were they cool about it? NO!
The kept saying, "We're not gay, stop trying to get us to hook up!"
Pfft...silly lesbians...
Were they cool about it? NO!
The kept saying, "We're not gay, stop trying to get us to hook up!"
Pfft...silly lesbians...
#92 to #11
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theelderscrolls (04/13/2013) [-] Found the attention whore.
Easier than find the vegan.
Easier than find the vegan.
#121 to #92
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creepyunclebob (04/14/2013) [-]
Found the potato.
Making relevant comments that include references to your gender =/= attention whoring. I'm a heterosexual male.
Making relevant comments that include references to your gender =/= attention whoring. I'm a heterosexual male.
#150 to #11
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tocoolforyouinajar (04/14/2013) [-] Funny getting thumbed on funnyjunk? Of course not, just the possibility of there being a female on the internet. I can guarantee that the first three words are what got you the thumbs
#60 to #11
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emptysuperman ONLINE (04/13/2013) [-] Why the hell is your mother meeting your **** buddies?
#70 to #11
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pulluspardus (04/13/2013) [-] "I'm a Lesbian"
Woah thats awesome, I am a Heterosexual myself!
Woah thats awesome, I am a Heterosexual myself!
#160 to #70
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awakendhybrid (04/14/2013) [-] What...it was relevant to her comment.
I'm a bisexual, married female...and THAT was not relevant.
I'm a bisexual, married female...and THAT was not relevant.
#139 to #40
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schneidend (04/14/2013) [-] I like how it no longer looks like my reaction is referring to grrphc, but is still pointing at somebody who has a good point. Yay.
#182 to #15
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drewbridge (04/14/2013) [-] You compared funnyjunk to a psychiatrist? The people who laugh at ******* , 9/11 and hate opinions?
You should've anticipated this
You should've anticipated this
#137 to #81
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schneidend (04/14/2013) [-] Having no father and what gender you are are completely unnecessary information and only serve to draw attention, sympathy in the case of no father and "omg hawt" in the case of being a girl and a lesbian.
#140 to #137
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creepyunclebob (04/14/2013) [-]
It does change the situation, though. The fact that she's female changes the gender politics at play, the fact that her mother is single excludes the father from the scenario shown in the comic.
#141 to #140
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schneidend (04/14/2013) [-] No. That's like referring to a black person in a story about your day as a "black guy" instead of just a "guy," even when his skin color has nothing to do with the story. The sooner we stop doing this **** , the sooner we'll realize how little these kinds of labels actually matter in 99% of situations.
#144 to #141
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creepyunclebob (04/14/2013) [-]
I don't disagree with you, but this content is all about those kinds of labels -- how women look at other women and how men look at other men.
#169 to #12
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SILENCEnight (04/14/2013) [-] **SILENCEnight rolled a random image posted in comment #20 at I Cant Make Titles ** hahahaha
#6
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BustaNinja (04/13/2013) [-]
Every time I introduce a girl to my parents, my mom looks at her with a completely straight face and says "I hope you are having good sex". My super christian ex got really offended, and super self conscience. My current girlfriend said "Oh we are, and can give you some pointers if you like". My girlfriend beat my parents at their own game.
#113 to #67
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BustaNinja (04/14/2013) [-]
Things don't get that weird. Its more or less a competition whenever I'm home to make my parents feel awkward about having loud sex. Needless to say, me and my dad highfive alot.
#3
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sksyslses (04/13/2013) [-] **sksyslses rolled a random image posted in comment #334 at Titel ** MFW I read " It's a Caucasian this time" not "It's castration time"
#34 to #3
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cabbagemayhem (04/13/2013) [-] France has got to be like, "Guys, it's been 70 years -- you're never going to let this go are you?"
#110
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setittowumbo (04/14/2013) [-] Oh god. Now I'm wondering if my boyfriend's mom thought this. I mean she said "You're welcome over anytime." But what she probably meant was "I'm going to use as a sacrifice to Satan if you don't let go of his hand you little whore."
#115 to #110
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Dwarf (04/14/2013) [-] **Dwarf rolled a random image posted in comment #196 at Land of the Free-est **
#124 to #117
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neoexdeath ONLINE (04/14/2013) [-] No, but you CAN select it again and render it virtually invisible.
#87
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Katzie (04/13/2013) [-] I have never shown a girl to my parents. Whenever I plan to go somewhere with one, I just say I'm hanging out with the guys. This is all to avoid awkward conversations.
It also means they think I'm gay.
It also means they think I'm gay.
#125 to #87
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babbylicious (04/14/2013) [-] It was kindoff the same with me, except I would never invite a girl over to my house. Now that I have, ********** start every other day
FML
FML
#89
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Ottovan (04/13/2013) [-] The reason fathers don't want their daughters dating boys is because MEN KNOW HOW MEN WORK.
WE KNOW HOW OTHER BOYS WORK, SWEETHEART.
I pray to god my daughter is a lesbian...
WE KNOW HOW OTHER BOYS WORK, SWEETHEART.
I pray to god my daughter is a lesbian...
#155 to #118
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areialview (04/14/2013) [-] **areialview rolls 2** I wonder if I should fap in public
#132 to #100
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gladiuss (04/14/2013) [-] Most men do marry their mom. At least figuratively. Men will seek out the woman with the characteristics most comparable to the one woman they were familiar and comfortable with, all their young lives, even if she's an evil bitch and treats him like **** . If mom verbally castrated dad, he will be his dad, and seek his mom.
The reverse follows with girls. Girls will marry daddy. Even if he is abusive. Often, patterns of abuse, physical and/or sexual will cause women to seek the company of other women, the female genotype seeming less threatening. But she will STILL seek out her father, just in the role of a more masculine-seeming woman. All patterns of spousal abuse follow this model.
The reverse follows with girls. Girls will marry daddy. Even if he is abusive. Often, patterns of abuse, physical and/or sexual will cause women to seek the company of other women, the female genotype seeming less threatening. But she will STILL seek out her father, just in the role of a more masculine-seeming woman. All patterns of spousal abuse follow this model.
#151 to #89
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mrfartypants (04/14/2013) [-] or the father wants to tap his daughter first? just a thought.
#116 to #89
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deathcampforjewtie (04/14/2013) [-] I hope your daughter is a lesbian too....let me know when she hits 18, I'll air-mail you a cake.
#85
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ghouleyed (04/13/2013) [-] I daubt my parents ever see me bringin girlfriend home at least while i am alive some might come to my funeral if lucky enough.
#153
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xxeternaleclipsexx (04/14/2013) [-] >Be in History class first thing in the morning
>Hear guy and a slightly overweight girl talking in front of me
>They just became a couple
>It's now after lunch, 10 minutes late for class
>Go down long corridor, near the stairs
>Reach the stairs, notice that same guy and overweight girl ******* like sour grapes in the space beside the stairs and wall
>He says "DOES MY BAGUETTE FEEL GOOD IN YOUR MOIST MUFFIN, BABE?"
>Mfw
>Hear guy and a slightly overweight girl talking in front of me
>They just became a couple
>It's now after lunch, 10 minutes late for class
>Go down long corridor, near the stairs
>Reach the stairs, notice that same guy and overweight girl ******* like sour grapes in the space beside the stairs and wall
>He says "DOES MY BAGUETTE FEEL GOOD IN YOUR MOIST MUFFIN, BABE?"
>Mfw
#9
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wittypotato (04/13/2013) [-] If she's a lawyer she'll get his house and his parents house in a divorce anyway.
#52 to #9
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somedumbcomics [OP](04/13/2013) [-] Good lord, who was representing you during the divorce? Her lawyer?
#29 to #9
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bigmanfifty (04/13/2013) [-] AND his parents house? will she demand a blood sacrifice as well?
#31 to #29
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roflsaucer (04/13/2013) [-] Typically, yes.
Other than physical belongings, you must also pay a sacrifice of blood, sweat, and tears.
Other than physical belongings, you must also pay a sacrifice of blood, sweat, and tears.
