jesus is best jesus,silly ass

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acemcgunner

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Jesus is my homie you fags..

Wikipedia: The term "semite'' means a member ancient
and modern peoples originating in the Near East. in-
eluding Hebrews (Israelites, Judea's and Samaritans), Elements, Mal-
tess, Syria's and Arabs.
Jesus was a Hebrew who lived 2000 years ago in the Middle East.
He it: is hell of as let
more like this Than this
99% of people never moved further than maybe 100 miles from their
place of birth in their lifetimes - knew whats Middle Eastern Jew
melted like, including the painters, who invented White Jesus m it would
be easier for pebble to identify with the Christ.
That' s right. White Jesus is Bible ,

...

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Views:	14140
Favorited:	16
Submitted:	01/27/2014

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#64 - acemcgunner [OP](01/28/2014) [-]

stickied by acemcgunner

everyone that comments on here ...please cool your god damn titties

+52

#22 - kanadetenshi ONLINE (01/27/2014) [-]

******** , everyone knows that Jesus is a blue eyed white man who came down the heavens on an eagle wearing an american flag as cape who then used his shotgun to destroy the homosexuals and supporters of the metric system.

#24 to #22 - thesimonved (01/27/2014) [-]

Fun Fact: In Germany there is a city called Offenbach, where the municipal decided, during the reign of Hitler, to build and install a white, blonde and blue-eyed Jesus-Statue over the altar.
After the death of Hitler and the downfall, they wanted to destroy it and replace it with a "normal" European Statue, because naturally no-one really wanted that statue and no-one was ever a follower of Hitler (irony off), but the new city-chiefs didn't allow the priests to put it down.
So this thing hangs till the present day in one of Offenbachs churches, a reminder for the stupidity/ corruptibility, but pragmatism of the masses. And naturally that the church took part in the nazi-reign.

#68 to #22 - mrcowll (01/28/2014) [-]

******** ! I don't care if Jesus hated gays or not but the imperial system is the work of Satan. I happen to know that Jesus was a firm supporter of metric. Was it not he who said "Water which freezes by no other number than zero be the work of Satan"

#69 to #22 - otroviciado (01/28/2014) [-]

...sounds like this

#28 to #22 - mattdoggy (01/27/2014) [-]

^^^^^^^^

+16

#7 - notapancake ONLINE (01/27/2014) [-]

#10 to #7 - anon (01/27/2014) [-]

left jesus looks an aweful lot like rasputin

#12 to #7 - douevensax (01/27/2014) [-]

Can someone explain exactly what "Jeezus is portraying"? Some of his stuff don't slide anymore.

#13 to #7 - sladee (01/27/2014) [-]

Can some one help me with the "If any one of you is without sin, let him cast the first stone" thing?
English isn't my first language so i'm having trouble properly interpretating this one.

#14 to #13 - absolutiondreams (01/27/2014) [-]

Basically, Jesus is saying that if anyone has done no evil in their lives, i.e "without sin", then they can kill the sinners, or "cast the first stone"

#15 to #14 - sladee (01/27/2014) [-]

Oh, thanks bud.

#21 to #15 - haeckal (01/27/2014) [-]

The point of the story is that all the men present who were going to stone the woman for adultery realized that they themselves were also guilty of various sins in their own lives that they had not yet been punished for. Jesus is implying that if the men give the woman the punishment she deserves, God will one day give the men all the punishments they deserve (but have avoided so far in this life). If they forgive the woman for her sin, God will forgive the men as well.

It's a lesson about mercy, and how we all need mercy and forgiveness because no one is completely innocent.

#62 to #21 - confusedasian (01/28/2014) [-]

But on the other side it says "I hate fags". So does Jesus dislike homosexuals?

#16 to #15 - absolutiondreams (01/27/2014) [-]

#17 to #16 - sladee (01/27/2014) [-]

#18 to #15 - awesomanium (01/27/2014) [-]

In the Bible, he was at the stoning of a woman, and he thought it was unjust to kill her for her sins. So he told the crowd that the person without sin may cast the first stone. the other guy explained it well, I just thought you might like to know where the quote's actually used

#34 - jokeface (01/28/2014) [-]

So does that impact anything in the Bible? If not, why does it matter?

#39 to #34 - Rukioish (01/28/2014) [-]

I feel like 90% of white people would be a lot less receptive to the heathen arab jesus.

#8 - vladstronsy (01/27/2014) [-]

So we can assume with each removal Jesus Gets less realistic?

So we have natural Jesus> Greek/Roman Jesus> White Jesus> Black Jesus> Asian Jesus and Native American Jesus which is basically the first random Korean guy you pull off the street with a beard.

#4 - spadaseisnueve (01/27/2014) [-]

This is what I imagine Jesus as

#5 to #4 - acemcgunner [OP](01/27/2014) [-]

as a believer yes as do I too

#9 - anon (01/27/2014) [-]

Jesus wasn't jewish though, they didn't exist back then

#76 to #9 - anon (01/28/2014) [-]

i think he's right you know

#19 to #9 - bokkos (01/27/2014) [-]

thisisbait.jpg

#20 to #19 - thisisbait (01/27/2014) [-]

#66 - leightonsolomon (01/28/2014) [-]

This is actually a facial reconstruction of what he looked like.

#27 - mattdoggy (01/27/2014) [-]

White Jesus comes from the Italian Renaissance
The rich families who were in charge of the cities and had an interest in Christianity funded artists to make portraits and paintings for the people to look upon. Not wanting to make some Muslim looking Jesus they gave him a light tan with long dark hair. This how the Italian nobility would have looked at the time and the artist wanted to keep the nobles happy

#2 - technoshaman (01/27/2014) [-]

If you go to Asia you can find art of Jesus and his disciples depicted as Asian. It's a pretty normal thing to change the ethnicity of individuals depicted in art when it moves to a different culture.

#1 - warlockrichard (01/27/2014) [-]

-3

#3 - emppilaf (01/27/2014) [-]

Isn't the bible just bible fan fiction?

-1

#36 to #3 - anonymoose (01/28/2014) [-]

No.

-2

#52 to #36 - emppilaf (01/28/2014) [-]

Pretty sure it is man...

-1

#77 to #52 - anonymoose (01/28/2014) [-]

Well, there are a lot of things in the Bible that aren't fiction. Some of it might be, but all of it isn't.

-1

#78 to #77 - emppilaf (01/28/2014) [-]

Nah man it is...

#38 - swetytntstiky (01/28/2014) [-]

this is my only God...

#43 to #38 - alphagex (01/28/2014) [-]

the funniest thing i look it up there is a religion in believing a sphagetti monster (i am not trolling iam serious) pastafarian is what they are called en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster some cource here but moslty is like parody religion

#45 to #43 - swetytntstiky (01/28/2014) [-]

u do realize that i just posted that that is my religion , so you dont have to come and explainme evrything about it ...

#46 to #45 - alphagex (01/28/2014) [-]

no cuz alot of people think is an internet joke meme thing from the south park series but is actually true wanted to let other know, i still love the cult of the damned i think is badass

#47 to #46 - swetytntstiky (01/28/2014) [-]

i didnt mean to sound agresive, but yeah we have a really cool religion, thats how we roll ...

#48 to #47 - alphagex (01/28/2014) [-]

i wonder if there is a religion related to world of warcraft..the coolest religion i read on the net is jedism is about jedi's and stuff seem cool to me

#51 to #48 - swetytntstiky (01/28/2014) [-]

W of W, well i dont think so , but what u think about the Maradoniana church, ( you know after Diego Armando Maradona the argentinian soccer player ) ??

#53 to #51 - alphagex (01/28/2014) [-]

well i guess is their choice of it worshiping something u love as an christian for me religion is serious (even if i never act like a real christian) but i can tell you this sincerely that the flying spaghetti monster makes more sense to me then the scientologie

#54 to #53 - swetytntstiky (01/28/2014) [-]

oh no !! careful there!!! or Tom Cruise will come and hunt you down !!!

#55 to #54 - alphagex (01/28/2014) [-]

he is bussy hiding in the closer in stan house

#56 to #55 - alphagex (01/28/2014) [-]

closet*

#57 to #56 - swetytntstiky (01/28/2014) [-]

oh yes !!! i forgot about that !!!

#58 to #57 - alphagex (01/28/2014) [-]

also he is a fudge packer

#59 to #58 - swetytntstiky (01/28/2014) [-]

Top Gun never more ...

#61 to #59 - alphagex (01/28/2014) [-]

i loved him in the last samurai, my mum said that tom cruise always get the acting in the movie in 1 shot. guess that pretty impresive, my most fav actor is ken jeong the asian in hangover and sacha baron cohen was amazing in borat and dictator and zach galifranks i think the bearded fat guy in hangover is also amazing

#65 to #61 - swetytntstiky (01/28/2014) [-]

well mission imposible 1 was pretty cool, but the other were kinda boring, i just (for some reason) discovered russell brand, and i think he is more talented than what people may think ...

#67 to #65 - alphagex (01/28/2014) [-]

Everybody knows Tommy Wiseaus is the worlds greatest actor

#70 to #67 - swetytntstiky (01/28/2014) [-]

lol The Room i do remember that one, but my money is on Keanu Reeves ...

#71 to #70 - alphagex (01/28/2014) [-]

Tommy wisaus should have an oscar for his acting

#72 to #71 - swetytntstiky (01/28/2014) [-]

well Oscars are very overrated ...

#75 to #72 - swetytntstiky (01/28/2014) [-]

hahaha , i know poor leo, all he has are like 10000000 millions ...

#74 to #72 - alphagex (01/28/2014) [-]

oh wait

#73 to #72 - alphagex (01/28/2014) [-]

i know ask leo

#37 - deadadventurer (01/28/2014) [-]

And so is Christ himself. Welcome to the real world.

#35 - crostorm (01/28/2014) [-]

And which race do semites belong to?

There are only 3 races in the world: white (europeid), black (negroid) and yellow or asian (mongoloid).

Then there are 3 sub races: mulat (black-white), mestic (white-asian) and zambo (asian-black).

#11 - windson (01/27/2014) [-]

If I was the son of God I'd be born the whitest guy ever.

#63 - xmonke (01/28/2014) [-]

duh.

#50 - kuraithevision (01/28/2014) [-]

I think it would have been more badass to have accurate depictions of Jesus. He looks more intimidating all bundled up like a baby.

#49 - Whetstone (01/28/2014) [-]

We aren't the only people that do this though. All christian cultures around the globe think of Jesus as looking like themselves. It's just more comfortable, I guess, to have Jesus look the way you do.