Cracker Barrel. . while driving to visit my grandmother I decided to stop at cracker Barrel. After eating, I set out driving again but T started to feel a rumbl
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Cracker Barrel

while driving to visit my
grandmother I decided to
stop at cracker Barrel.
After eating, I set out
driving again but T started
to feel a rumbling in the
very pit of my bowels.
I had no idea the danger T
was in and decided to
continue onward and ignore
the warnings.
Afraid that I may destroy the
very toilet, T decide not to
ask my grandmother to use her
bathroom.
By then, my bowels were nearly out
of control and the most ungodly
aroma was drifting through the air.
Ill (Shrink I
nood I blotch of
rink nhr! I' ll bl
hack in I linton.
Finally I get to her
house. At this point the
rumblings are getting
louder and more painful.
I am cooking pasta .
for you dear. It'll
only be awhile
longer."
dear. Hurry hack
though. The food
ls almost ready.
I exited the house and
released the fullest gas I
had ever smelled.
The rumbling disappeared but I
knew it was only a matter of
time before those demons
returned.
Sorry Grandma but I have
unfinished business to
attend."
The clock was ticking and the
second wave was upon me. My
last line of defense had been
breached and I knew then T had
maybe 5 minutes to get home.
when suddenly, I noticed
something in my aide rear
view mirror. . .
License and g
registration I I
please.
Officer - please - I have
to take a massive **** .
Don' t try and
funny with me
son. Now show me
some goddam
registration.
It was at that moment I
knew the battle had been
lost. I immediately jumped
out of the can and
unbuckled my pants.
an In nu. no You
INK You' ll Dolls?!
mm YOUR BIDS UP!
YOU All mull Linux!
I released my pants
and unloaded a
thousand pounds of
fecal matter.
Not only was I covered in
**** , but I had lost all
dignity and was probably
going to jail.
Turned out the
cop was so
disgusted he let
me off with just
a warning.
And that' s why I will never
eat chicken and dumplings
at Cracker Barrel again.
...
+107
Views: 14030
Favorited: 13
Submitted: 01/22/2012
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#2 - qotsa (01/22/2012) [-]
policemens face
policemens face
#7 - albinosmurf (01/23/2012) [-]
I am a waiter/back-up cook/ grill cook/ prep cook/ dishwasher/ occasional shift leader at cracker barrel. Another thing that will give you the runs is the margerine we use on the grill...and the meatloaf, which we sqeeze out of a tube.

True story
#6 - justinbieberloverr (01/23/2012) [+] (3 replies)
I'm a waiter for Cracker Barrel so I got some extra lols out of this.
#5 - raindeaf (01/23/2012) [-]
>be 12, going to visit hardcore-grandmother in europe
>arrive at farm grandmother owns
>a few days later have horrible diarrhea
>only bathroom is outside, hole in the floor in shed
>have to visit shed every hour or less
>grandmother discovers enormous pile of ****
>spend my last day on farm with my family watching
grandmother use shovel to take all my **** and putting it everywhere
in her farm
>"Its very good for the farm"
#17 - billyburner ONLINE (01/23/2012) [-]
Comment Picture

User avatar #15 - morganablack (01/23/2012) [-]
If eating chicken and dumplings got me ONLY a warning, I'd eat them all the time.
#9 - xxxsonic fanxxx (01/23/2012) [+] (1 reply)
Thank you FJ, for enlightening me to the fact that this community is full or seriously f*cked up people.
#3 - xxxsonic fanxxx (01/22/2012) [+] (1 reply)
**anonymous rolled a random image posted in comment #10 at i knew something was fishy ** <police man's face
#1 - haegenhaegen (01/22/2012) [-]
I am the pinkiefairy. _
#13 - samthearab (01/23/2012) [-]
**samthearab rolled a random image posted in comment #283 at Dumb Vegetarians ** Officer's face.
User avatar #12 - phirrip (01/23/2012) [-]
**phirrip rolls 74** LOL I just wet the bed... and cheese on toast
User avatar #11 - Pein (01/23/2012) [-]
I love chicken and dumplings from Cracker Barrel
User avatar #4 - mrmuffins (01/23/2012) [-]
when i was little ( 7-8) i had some chicken from there and got the stomach flue.
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