Cracker Barrel. . while driving to visit my grandmother I decided to stop at cracker Barrel. After eating, I set out driving again but T started to feel a rumbl
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Cracker Barrel

while driving to visit my
grandmother I decided to
stop at cracker Barrel.
After eating, I set out
driving again but T started
to feel a rumbling in the
very pit of my bowels.
I had no idea the danger T
was in and decided to
continue onward and ignore
the warnings.
Afraid that I may destroy the
very toilet, T decide not to
ask my grandmother to use her
By then, my bowels were nearly out
of control and the most ungodly
aroma was drifting through the air.
Ill (Shrink I
nood I blotch of
rink nhr! I' ll bl
hack in I linton.
Finally I get to her
house. At this point the
rumblings are getting
louder and more painful.
I am cooking pasta .
for you dear. It'll
only be awhile
dear. Hurry hack
though. The food
ls almost ready.
I exited the house and
released the fullest gas I
had ever smelled.
The rumbling disappeared but I
knew it was only a matter of
time before those demons
Sorry Grandma but I have
unfinished business to
The clock was ticking and the
second wave was upon me. My
last line of defense had been
breached and I knew then T had
maybe 5 minutes to get home.
when suddenly, I noticed
something in my aide rear
view mirror. . .
License and g
registration I I
Officer - please - I have
to take a massive **** .
Don' t try and
funny with me
son. Now show me
some goddam
It was at that moment I
knew the battle had been
lost. I immediately jumped
out of the can and
unbuckled my pants.
an In nu. no You
INK You' ll Dolls?!
YOU All mull Linux!
I released my pants
and unloaded a
thousand pounds of
fecal matter.
Not only was I covered in
**** , but I had lost all
dignity and was probably
going to jail.
Turned out the
cop was so
disgusted he let
me off with just
a warning.
And that' s why I will never
eat chicken and dumplings
at Cracker Barrel again.
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Views: 14053
Favorited: 13
Submitted: 01/22/2012
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#2 - qotsa (01/22/2012) [-]
policemens face
policemens face
#7 - albinosmurf (01/23/2012) [-]
I am a waiter/back-up cook/ grill cook/ prep cook/ dishwasher/ occasional shift leader at cracker barrel. Another thing that will give you the runs is the margerine we use on the grill...and the meatloaf, which we sqeeze out of a tube.

True story
#6 - justinbieberloverr (01/23/2012) [+] (3 replies)
I'm a waiter for Cracker Barrel so I got some extra lols out of this.
#5 - raindeaf (01/23/2012) [-]
>be 12, going to visit hardcore-grandmother in europe
>arrive at farm grandmother owns
>a few days later have horrible diarrhea
>only bathroom is outside, hole in the floor in shed
>have to visit shed every hour or less
>grandmother discovers enormous pile of ****
>spend my last day on farm with my family watching
grandmother use shovel to take all my **** and putting it everywhere
in her farm
>"Its very good for the farm"
#17 - billyburner (01/23/2012) [-]
Comment Picture

User avatar #15 - morganablack (01/23/2012) [-]
If eating chicken and dumplings got me ONLY a warning, I'd eat them all the time.
#1 - haegenhaegen (01/22/2012) [-]
I am the pinkiefairy. _
#13 - samthearab (01/23/2012) [-]
**samthearab rolled a random image posted in comment #283 at Dumb Vegetarians ** Officer's face.
User avatar #12 - phirrip (01/23/2012) [-]
**phirrip rolls 74** LOL I just wet the bed... and cheese on toast
User avatar #11 - Pein (01/23/2012) [-]
I love chicken and dumplings from Cracker Barrel
#9 - anonymous (01/23/2012) [+] (1 reply)
Thank you FJ, for enlightening me to the fact that this community is full or seriously f*cked up people.
User avatar #4 - mrmuffins (01/23/2012) [-]
when i was little ( 7-8) i had some chicken from there and got the stomach flue.
#3 - anonymous (01/22/2012) [+] (1 reply)
**anonymous rolled a random image posted in comment #10 at i knew something was fishy ** <police man's face
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