Nope. . com but You will never again experience the wonderful taste of bacon.. I don't like bacon. So I would press it any time.
x
Click to expand

Comments(485):

[ 485 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #12 - I Am Monkey (10/29/2013) [-]
To become a God, you must sacrifice everything that makes you human
User avatar #185 to #12 - stenchschleifs (10/30/2013) [-]
Damn, so that is the color blue.
User avatar #353 to #12 - peezle (10/30/2013) [-]
Dude...
#165 to #12 - John Cena (10/30/2013) [-]
your profile picture makes it all the better
#180 to #12 - rabidaardvark (10/30/2013) [-]
wheres that from?
User avatar #386 to #180 - imnotkickthecat (10/30/2013) [-]
googled that quote, this is what comes up as #1 www.funnyjunk.com/channel/pressbutton-time/Nope/cTXwGpG/12 Im not joking.

Monkey is a philosopher now.
#492 to #386 - rabidaardvark (10/30/2013) [-]
huh, now hes a philosphiser
#10 - mudkipfucker ONLINE (10/29/2013) [-]
Press it will no ill effects
Press it will no ill effects
#209 to #10 - AztecJew ONLINE (10/30/2013) [-]
my thoughts exactly, Kosher master race
my thoughts exactly, Kosher master race
User avatar #11 to #10 - I Am Monkey (10/29/2013) [-]
How ironic would it be if the Jews became the master race
#351 to #11 - fathis (10/30/2013) [-]
As long as these guys don't I'm pretty happy. I don't really want to get shoed..
#97 to #11 - Schwarzenegger (10/30/2013) [-]
Just wait and see...
#52 - acidreign (10/30/2013) [-]
Allergic to pork.
Allergic to pork.
User avatar #55 to #52 - brokenhalf (10/30/2013) [-]
how the **** are you allergic to pork?!
User avatar #58 to #55 - redrex (10/30/2013) [-]
same way anyone is allergic to anything
#85 to #52 - John Cena (10/30/2013) [-]
Dumbass, bacon comes from chickens.
#179 to #52 - fitta (10/30/2013) [-]
no use in living, kill urself
User avatar #162 to #52 - komandantmirkoo (10/30/2013) [-]
isn't that called judaism or islam?
User avatar #240 to #52 - europe (10/30/2013) [-]
Dude, you're immortal
I doubt you'd be able to get allergic reactions
User avatar #437 to #240 - demigodofmadness (10/30/2013) [-]
Well he either isn't immortal and can't eat bacon anyways, or he is immortal and can eat it but he just can't enjoy it.
#7 - crazyolitis (10/29/2013) [-]
I don't like bacon. So I would press it any time.
#62 to #7 - John Cena (10/30/2013) [-]
I smell a ban comming
User avatar #398 to #7 - machinimax (10/30/2013) [-]
This
#416 to #7 - dasbrot (10/30/2013) [-]
I don't wanna live forever. I'll take bacon.
#20 to #7 - syntheticwatermelo (10/29/2013) [-]
Listen here you little **** , bacon is the most orgasmic flavor a taste bud could hope to experience. You see the opportunity to live forever, but what you don't see is the hopeless black hole that your life would become after going more than a short amount of time without bacon. The bullets that would bounce off of you would make a hollow echoing noise from the empty part of your heart that was once filled by bacon.
#48 to #20 - hudis (10/30/2013) [-]
Bacon just tastes kind of like oversalted ham to me.
User avatar #51 to #48 - countchoculal (10/30/2013) [-]
You are the only person I've seen who agrees with me thank you
User avatar #63 to #51 - ironsoul (10/30/2013) [-]
agreed
User avatar #89 to #63 - sedativechunk (10/30/2013) [-]
I second this discussion. Never understood why people love bacon so much. It does taste like over-salted ham.

Not to mention, it's probably one of the most UNHEALTHY things you can eat on the planet. It has no vitamins or minerals, doesn't even contain any protein really, and it's loaded with sodium which is bad for weight and blood pressure. A ******* candy bar has better nutritional value than bacon!
User avatar #118 to #89 - arandomanon ONLINE (10/30/2013) [-]
I like bacon. At least, once a month, I make myself this amazing sandwich with eggs, cheese, ham, beef, bacon and mayonnaise. But still, I concur with you on something: bacon is extremely overrated.
User avatar #191 to #51 - hudis (10/30/2013) [-]
You're welcome.
#166 to #7 - Jaernel (10/30/2013) [-]
YFW pressing the button
User avatar #96 to #7 - thepinkestofthepie ONLINE (10/30/2013) [-]
I like bacon. But I would still press the button.
#212 to #7 - doddythechef (10/30/2013) [-]
you  disgust me
you disgust me
#54 to #7 - yummybacon (10/30/2013) [-]
I'd press it too


I'd press it too
User avatar #88 to #54 - wrocky (10/30/2013) [-]
i find this comint ironic
User avatar #189 to #88 - toymoo (10/30/2013) [-]
I find this "comint" illegible.
User avatar #171 to #7 - zomitlu (10/30/2013) [-]
Whether you like bacon or not is irrelevant.

Immortality alone overwhelms bacon any day.
#257 to #171 - pwnmissilereborn **User deleted account** (10/30/2013) [-]
I'd hate to be immortal and I like bacon.
User avatar #295 to #257 - zomitlu (10/30/2013) [-]
Why the **** would you hate to be immortal?
#311 to #295 - pwnmissilereborn **User deleted account** (10/30/2013) [-]
-Everyone else I know and love will die around me while I'll have to stay and watch all of them die. Parents, wife, kids, grandkids and so on until it repeats itself so many times I will become completely immune and incapable of connecting emotionally with another human being.
-Your perception of time speeds up as you get older. In a few thousand years everything would pass so fast to you that you would cease paying attention to any of it.
-Even the most exciting things would become boring because you would have seen and done it all.

You would have to remain conscious forever, with time passing extremely fast and no decent stimulus that could grab your attention as everything you cared for would become meaningless and you would quickly go insane to the point where you'd probably want to kill yourself, but you couldn't. So you'd be in pain forever.

Don't get me wrong, I love living, and would love to have an indefinite lifespan, but I'd want to have the option to end it all when I was done with it.
User avatar #444 to #311 - batguy (10/30/2013) [-]
You'll never be able to see or do it all though, youve grotto remember over all those years nothing stays he same, the world is constantly changing, so their would be a beautiful side to it, in that you would either see the fall of man, or how advanced we get, it won't be the same regardless, and if you put your time into it, you could be the key to many of the world's problems. You would be limitless.
User avatar #341 to #311 - ZenMacros (10/30/2013) [-]
What if you have your loved ones press the button too?
#345 to #341 - pwnmissilereborn **User deleted account** (10/30/2013) [-]
Still wouldn't press it without a way out (read comment #342) but having someone who I'd be sure I'd want to spend the rest of eternity with would be be a big plus too.
#396 to #345 - John Cena (10/30/2013) [-]
That's one thing I've never gotten, people read immortal and think the things you just lists, without thinking of a bigger picture, you're just concerned about getting bored etc and watching loved ones die. You're not thinking about what you could do with that vast knowledge and wisdom you could acquire with said time.
You could use all that to help guide humanity toward a better future, sure it would take time, but time wouldn't exactly be an issue for you. Think of all e things you could do for others, not just humans too, with the powers and potential you had by hitting that button, not just how it would effect yourself. If I was going to be pushing the button that's what I'd have in mind. But maybe that's just me.
#430 to #396 - riposter (10/30/2013) [-]
Also how can you get bored? Imagine computing power in let's say, a century from now, there could be very complex simulations, just imagine the possibilities. Also I would like to travel space, when we have colonies all over the universe.
User avatar #350 to #345 - ZenMacros (10/30/2013) [-]
Very good points.
User avatar #328 to #311 - zomitlu (10/30/2013) [-]
-Don't have kids, if you do disconnect yourself from their kids and all that stuff and only have to suffer 1 more generation of death

-To me that sounds pretty badass, but think what you could do in that time. Read every book, watch every movie, master every existing skill, explore the almost infinite universe waiting for you

-Does exploring the almost infinite universe sound boring? And think about it, when we get the technology, you would be a god. Immortal, and the power to blow up planets with the flick of a finger

With all the things i've said, I don't think I'd ever want to kill myself. And if I did, I'd just find a way to put myself in a never ending coma which would be like death except with dreams to go with it.
#342 to #328 - pwnmissilereborn **User deleted account** (10/30/2013) [-]
While I do love exploring and learning, eternity is a really long time. It goes on and on and on forever. Even after the heat death of the universe where there is nothing left to explore, because nothing is all that will exist.

Plus, the more you experience, the more meaningless future experiences will become to the point where every book, every movie, every relationship and every bit of knowledge and power you gathered wouldn't matter to you anymore.

As I said, without having a way out, I certainly wouldn't push it.
User avatar #343 to #342 - zomitlu (10/30/2013) [-]
>Go into neverending coma before the end of the universe
>Float around unconscious 5ever
#344 to #343 - pwnmissilereborn **User deleted account** (10/30/2013) [-]
Yeah, it's a possible way out. Technically it's the equivalent of being dead.
User avatar #375 to #344 - zomitlu (10/30/2013) [-]
Exactly

So now would you take the ultimate power of immortality?
#305 to #295 - twentyten (10/30/2013) [-]
I would go insane if I were to live forever.
User avatar #329 to #305 - zomitlu (10/30/2013) [-]
Why?
#364 to #329 - twentyten (10/30/2013) [-]
Think about how the world will be destroyed or the whole galaxy is destroyed (which it will sooner or later). Assuming you would be able to live afterwards, you be drifting alone with no other being for millions of light years around for billions of years. You'd be lucky if you meet another being, but that's very unlikely (unless you're Bender). Afterwards, the universe will turn dark as it expands. The rate of expansion will go beyond that of the speed of light. You will not see anything inlcuding youself.
#373 to #364 - zomitlu (10/30/2013) [-]
Gif related to Bender    
   
I said above that before all that happens in the universe, I would put my self in a never ending coma that would be almost identical to death except you can dream as well.
Gif related to Bender

I said above that before all that happens in the universe, I would put my self in a never ending coma that would be almost identical to death except you can dream as well.
#379 to #373 - twentyten (10/30/2013) [-]
You think you can't go insane in your dreams, or even nightmares? Is that any better than death itself? Why do you think some people choose death over being a coma for the rest of their lives?
User avatar #381 to #379 - zomitlu (10/30/2013) [-]
Can you go insane in sleep?

I never knew..
#393 to #381 - twentyten (10/30/2013) [-]
I don't know either, but i wouldnt be surprised if people could. There's always a chance. And there's also a higher likelihood of you waking up from a coma given such a long time.
User avatar #297 to #295 - ACanadian (10/30/2013) [-]
Watching everyone you know and love die would be pretty ****** .
User avatar #303 to #297 - makonendrak (10/30/2013) [-]
>Implying you like people
User avatar #324 to #297 - zomitlu (10/30/2013) [-]
About 50 years of watching people die and then you become independent.

Not too bad.
User avatar #459 to #295 - roflstorm (10/30/2013) [-]
1. You will see generation after generation of people you love die.
2. You will watch as everything is built and torn down the centuries.
3. You will stay as you are for eternity. Insomniac? Tough **** bro. There is no force on earth or in the heavens that will put your sleepy ass down. Broken arm? IT WILL NEVER HEAL. Headache? There wont ever be a tylenol strong enough to kill this headache bro. Fever? Enjoy body cramps, feeling like **** , vomiting and dry heaving for AEONS ************ ! (Not all at once, but depending on how everything is with you and your surroundings when you press the button)
4. Someone will find out and will tell the world about your freedom from death. You will be the centre piece of the human race. And chances are people are going to want to find out what makes your clock of invincibility tick. Which means you will be hounded for your blood, organs, and mind for the rest of time........or until they find another way to become immortal.

Immortality basically puts you in a never ending pause of your life. You never get older, and you never get younger. Which means while everyone and everything else around you evolves, you will be stuck as a normal ass human being with normal ass intelligence. You will live for millions upon millions of years. The years peeling away like the crusty flesh off a sunburnt arm. Everyone will evolve to survive but you. Human beings will evolve to be stronger, faster, and possibly smarter. But you'll still be the Windows 1.0 while everyone is a ******* super computer. The chains of life and death are broken with you. And that means you are a god and your only power is surviving being fed into a wood chipper.
Everything you will ever love will die. You basically need to recede from humanity into a secluded place where no one will, and can, ever find you.
And there isn't a damn thing you can do because you pressed the goddamn button.
User avatar #477 to #459 - roflstorm (10/30/2013) [-]
Oh yea, with immortality, the sky is no longer the limit. You have literally all the time in the world. You can travel the globe by walking in your ass cheeks if you wanted. You could read every book ever written in every library. From the first book ever printed, legendary Gutenburg bible, to every series known to every type of man. trillions of books will be at your disposal. You have all the time you would ever possibly want. Times infinity. You could read every book ever. From the flip books in a kindergarden class to the scrolls of the dead sea to the old torn pages of a small time bookstore somewhere in the middle of ******* Brazil. And still have time to do it all again. Speaking of travelling, you can go anywhere you want. You can traverse the mighty sahara, swim the frigid Pacific and stroll from pole to pole. Climb the Everest and plunge to the bottom of the challenger deep.
But wait, there's more. You could count every leaf on every tree in every square acre of every jungle, park and forest on every continent. You could count every speck of sand in every beach, desert and sandbox in every nook and craney in every single corner of the globe. You could be the stock manager of the planet Earth. You could go to Africa and could the lions and elephants. Go to Australia and count the sharks and spiders. SPIDERS. SPIDERS. COUNT THE ******* SPIDERS. Hell, you could backstroke your way to the Antarctic and count the penguins chilling out on the -59c coasts. Every fish, every shrimp, every single piece of everything ever. You can count it out. And with all the time from reading every genre of everything, you could count them all in every language. dead AND alive Because you now have the time to do anything and everything.
Death is no longer looming over your shoulders.
His scythe will never touch your neck and his cold boney fingers will never tap your shoulder, letting you now your time is up.
User avatar #480 to #477 - roflstorm (10/30/2013) [-]
I'm not done yet. Not even close.
Let's travel the world shall we?
You could walk, jog, run, sprint, unicyle, bike, trike, stroll, and drive anywhere. You could walk the Pan-American highway on your toes. From Prudhoe Bay, Alaska, to Ushuaia Argentina. A near 50 000 kilometre (32 some odd thousand mile) journey. Skip the Trans-Canada highway and even ******* moonwalk the National Australian highway, Highway 1. You could: take a piece of **** bicycle on a dirty, over grown path in the middle of the Amazon, you could dirtbike your way from the high plains of Tibet to the end of the Pan-Am. highway in Ushuaia, Argentina. You could do in the only true sense, Everything, imaginable and unimaginable. Hell, you could take every route ever in every possible way and manner ever. You could go around the world in every style of walking, In every type and make of vehicle. From the Model T Ford to the Bugatti Superveyron. You could do every possible thing your infinite mind can think of. You could skateboard the 11000 mile Trans-siberian highway. Then do it again backwards. And again sideways and on your back. You could reverse a chevy from New York to San Francisco and then back again. What i'm saying is. No matter how long you do something, It be nothing more than a microscopic scratch on a wind shield. You will never drown, burn, fall, crash, explode, detonate, masturbate, shoot, slingshot, and every other sensible and non-sensible way of dying.
But let's think about what would happen if you were kind hearted or morally good.
You could do a charity run around the world. FOREVER. You know how much money you'll raise? ENOUGH TO PISS OFF THE GOVERNMENT. You could cure every type of cancer just by doing a charity run. Even if it's a penny for every 1000 steps. Just walk around the globe a few hundred times.
User avatar #484 to #480 - roflstorm (10/30/2013) [-]
Now let's think about some supernatural **** .
Since you are immortal and therefore, a being of supernaturality, which means you are at rank with the boogeyman and Jesus Christ. But, you have the ability to reckless with your methods. You could swim around and hold your indefinite breath and search for the Loch ness monster, you could stroll through every park, forest, jungle, wildlife reserve, and line of trees and search for the man in the black tuxedo; Slenderman. You could creep through every cemetary and graveyard in every village, city, town and bundle of houses in every country on every continent on Earth just so you can meet the man who's most famous for 3 words. GO, TO, and SLEEP. Even if it's a "one - *************************** " kind of deal. You have the time. You could roam every square inch of the American and Candian west coast looking for Sasquatch and scower every mile of the Pacific, Atlantic, Indian, Arctic and Antarctic oceans, looking for mermaids. You can dig up every grain on the planet and find the genie in the lamp. You could debunk every myth, conspiracy theory and folklore in every region around the planet. Course with doing this you can and probably will piss off everyone. But please, **** can they do?. YOU CAN'T DIE!! so every hit they put out will seem like nothing.
User avatar #486 to #484 - zomitlu (10/30/2013) [-]
Yeah I know what you can do when you're immortal.

Anyway why would you get a headache and never lose it? Immortality is literally living forever, not getting an illness and that illness stays with you forever

Humans aren't going to evolve any further, we're at our peak. We've completely stopped using all processes that take part in evolution, like survival of the fittest and natural selection.

People's minds won't really improve that much, especially looking at today's kids...

Also what makes you say you can't get body enhancements? With the rate of which technology is advancing today, that doesn't seem far off.

You can learn whatever the **** you want, who gives a **** if you're 3000 years old, your brain will keep up.

Can't stand watching your loved ones die? Dissassociate yourself with all future generations of your family, heck I'd start with my grand kids.

Nobody will find out as long as you're quiet about it. And even if they did, who the **** would believe them?

Being immortal doesn't just mean going around counting **** , it means mastering every profession, learning every language, travelling the almost infinite universe, meeting alien life, seeing every single thing in the universe from this point on.

And 2013 is a damn good year to start at.
User avatar #489 to #486 - roflstorm (10/30/2013) [-]
You read all that?!
Jesus.........
Didn't think anyone gave a **** .
User avatar #490 to #489 - zomitlu (10/30/2013) [-]
I stand up to my beliefs.

Immortality is the best ******* **** out there, don't you go thinking otherwise.
User avatar #491 to #490 - roflstorm (10/30/2013) [-]
You have your opinion and I have mine.
You think it's ******* awesome, go for it.
I think it's cool, but in the long run it will blow so many dicks that it would be classified as a pornstar.
User avatar #485 to #484 - roflstorm (10/30/2013) [-]
Almost done.
Now how about he look at the highs and the lows of being ************* immortal.
And by highs and lows i mean geography.
With your immortality, you can dig to the centre of the earth. Gather samples of every level of rock you pass on your way down. If you could, you could bring up diamonds the size of mountains. You can bring titanium gypsum jars and acquire molten rock that has been churning around inside the planet for millions, if not billions, of years. You could do a cannonball into a ******* volcano and swim around in 2000 degree rock, fish out a lump of new Earth, put it in a glass jar and hand it to a professor. You could go into caves that have been designated as "too dangerous" for humanity and bring back steaming crystals to go with your collection of pretty rocks and minerals.
With immortality, you can play minecraft in reality. Digging around in caves looking for cool **** to put in your collection of ******* whatever. All.....with your bare hands.
Those were the lows of geography. Let's look at the highs.
You could climb to the top of MT. Everest and ******* text someone with picture saying "im on top of the ******* woooooorld!" and then, because why the **** not, tumble, fall, plummet and crash all the way down the mountain. You could bring nothing but a sweater and some pants and drag your dumbass up every peak on the surface of the planet using nothing but your fingers. Which will take so ******* looong. But hey, you're ******* IMMORTAL now.
User avatar #487 to #485 - roflstorm (10/30/2013) [-]
Now let's say you are like me.
An avid gamer who loves doing nothing all ******* day.
You can play every game you want to now.
If you still have a smidgen of cash left over from the 30 year charity run you did, you could buy every game ever.
You can buy and play on every console ever.
YOU CAN MASTER EVERY GAME EVER. You can do so much of so little you would blow peoples minds.
And since you can live forever and have the possibility of reading every genre of every type of every series of every author EVER, you must have read a few guides, no?
You will become the greatest gamer ever. Of all time.
User avatar #488 to #487 - roflstorm (10/30/2013) [-]
Ok, 1 last paragraph.
What all this typing and reading ( if you gave a **** ) is that you can never die.
You will live on past the age of humans, transcend the power of gods, exceed the age of the sun and the stars and above all else.


Waste time on ******** no one would ever waste time doing ******** on.
0
#453 to #295 - roflstorm has deleted their comment [-]
0
#454 to #453 - roflstorm has deleted their comment [-]
#204 - bocatadesesos (10/30/2013) [-]
bacon is overrated
bacon is overrated
#226 to #204 - scottysglasses (10/30/2013) [-]
Bacon is le best   
You don't like internet le bacon?   
bacon le bacon le bacon le
Bacon is le best
You don't like internet le bacon?
bacon le bacon le bacon le
#35 - hurleyy (10/30/2013) [-]
bacon is highly overrated
User avatar #357 to #35 - TwistedBamboozler (10/30/2013) [-]
No it's not overrated at all. It's amazing. But can you give it up for imortality? *****************
User avatar #253 to #35 - funkyspot (10/30/2013) [-]
Delicious as **** but grossly overrated
User avatar #34 - sparkleass (10/30/2013) [-]
Bacon is delicious but overrated. Bring on the red thumbs.
User avatar #112 - ewowo (10/30/2013) [-]
Would press.
Steak > Bacon
Wings > Bacon
Ribs > Bacon

Seriously I don't know why everyone always hops on the bacon-wagon.
0
#382 to #112 - utarefson has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #400 to #382 - ewowo (10/30/2013) [-]
Thumbed you back up because you are entitled to your opinion.


You're wrong though
#304 to #112 - zxcvssv (10/30/2013) [-]
You had me at Steak > Bacon. Steak is the **** .
#83 - bitey (10/30/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #449 to #83 - joehue (10/30/2013) [-]
Aw man I loved this show when it was on CN, do you have the source to this gif(forgot the title), good sir?
User avatar #461 to #449 - bitey (10/30/2013) [-]
Megas XLR
#41 - vissova (10/30/2013) [-]
I rarely ever eat Bacon anyway.
I rarely ever eat Bacon anyway.
#332 - yetiyitties (10/30/2013) [-]
I couldn't give 2 ***** about bacon. The bacon bandwagon has no power here.
User avatar #4 - clockworkseven **User deleted account** (10/29/2013) [-]
Bacon is pretty good, but it's not better than becoming irresistible, invincible, and immortal. Not by a long shot.
#64 - ironsoul (10/30/2013) [-]
i don't like bacon except as an addition to other foods
i don't like bacon except as an addition to other foods
#317 - vuvuzela (10/30/2013) [-]
Easy choice
Easy choice
#91 - jjvoodoo (10/30/2013) [-]
i hate bacon
i hate bacon
#82 - bitey (10/30/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#72 - rosietheamazon (10/30/2013) [-]
a thousand times yes.
a thousand times yes.
User avatar #157 - satrenkotheone (10/30/2013) [-]
It's okay, I don't really like bacon all that much in the first place.
#187 - alreadyexiststho (10/30/2013) [-]
I hate bacon.
[ 485 comments ]
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)