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I'll take you around the universe

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Views: 2909
Favorited: 5
Submitted: 05/04/2013
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #1 - snowshark (05/04/2013) [+] (2 replies)
The trick to a good twist story is if you set it up in advance. You can't just switch the narrative with no foreshadowing otherwise it's too jarring and there's no transitional route to follow. It's only funny when you can see the building blocks of the punchline in your head.

The punchline that would work well with this kind of story would be something to do with MLP. There's no shortage of puns from the Dragon Code to Big Mac and so on that would fit in the situation. A good effort and it did have me going but the punchline failed on every important level.

Not gonna thumb you down but not up either. This could do with some work.
#10 - thunderpony ONLINE (05/05/2013) [-]
good one op
#9 - ghostrollerelite (05/05/2013) [-]
that was funny but i didn't expected the ending. good job OP
that was funny but i didn't expected the ending. good job OP
#6 - sinery (05/04/2013) [-]
I has the boners.
I has the boners.
#11 - sparkofinsanity (05/05/2013) [-]
"THE ALMIGHTY STAFF OF GLORY" lost it there.
#7 - MotorstormLegend (05/05/2013) [+] (1 reply)
I don't know how to react to this.   
   
So here's an Atlas moth.
I don't know how to react to this.

So here's an Atlas moth.
#5 - Womens Study Major (05/04/2013) [-]
hey I thought it was funny
User avatar #4 - kwanzalord (05/04/2013) [-]
at the point I saw pony, I stopped reading.
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