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Guy Fawkes

Tags: what | does | the | fawkes | say

Son, what the bloody hell are Wu wearing?
My wizard hat, dad.'')
dnif'
Why, pray tell?
Cause I' m a wizard, duh!
sigh'' I' raised a mama.
Son, for the 500th time, Harry Patter isn' t real!
It' s for Halloween dad, but I guess yau' re tot:,
old and boring for the cam holidays.
And dan' t lie dad, I saw platform 9 and 3/ in Landing I haw it' s real!
And what' s wrang with Guy Fawke' s Night?
What' s that? Do yau wear we of them
Ananymous Masks and protest against
Freedom like a filthy cammie?
Na EDT}, its when we gather round '' huge bonfire,
and burn an effigy at Guy Fawkes, wha an the tth
at November ‘ tried ta Haw up the muses m
Parliament, and kill King James and his Daughter.
And we cheer as we watch his ' Mir) be
cleansed in the searing heat Bi the fire. and then,
we set aft fireworks ta imagine the glorious carnage
that warld have happened if he succeeded. After
that, we all get blind drunk until the dying embers
at the fire turn ta ash, as his bad}; did and the King
warld have.

...

+761

Views:	44658
Favorited:	92
Submitted:	11/01/2013

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49 comments displayed.

+89

#3 - mudkipfucker (11/01/2013) [-]

Failed Terrorist attacks are the best terrorist attacks
And i'm using this

#44 to #3 - leafonthewind (11/01/2013) [-]

mean while in new york

#60 to #3 - winstonsexton (11/01/2013) [-]

can't argue with that

#56 to #3 - stenchschleifs (11/01/2013) [-]

Le fedora strikes again

+40

#5 - crimsonsplash (11/01/2013) [-]

#52 to #5 - existacne (11/01/2013) [-]

wut?

#31 to #5 - amirblumenfeld (11/01/2013) [-]

CHIPSTICKS

#64 to #5 - zomitlu (11/01/2013) [-]

+22

#16 - haeckal (11/01/2013) [-]

Isn't there some English witticism about Guy Fawkes being the only man ever to enter Parliament with honest intentions?

#76 to #16 - anon (11/02/2013) [-]

Yes. I'm not sure if wating to install a facist government counts as honest intentions though...

#82 to #76 - thewaronbeingcool (11/02/2013) [-]

Well he was honest about it.

Unlike every politician who goes in there saying they'll make Britain a better place, only to make it worse.

#28 to #16 - thebestpieever (11/01/2013) [-]

Yeah... that is it.

+29

#9 - nyxeos ONLINE (11/01/2013) [-]

More info: Guy Fawkes was actually the last person brought in on the Gun Powder Plot, and only because he knew about gun powder. They spent quite a bit of time piling up gun powder just below parliament, with the plan that Fawkes would light it (and presumably run like hell).

However, one of the conspirators got nervous because his uncle worked there, so he sent his uncle a letter about not going to work that day. The uncle obviously figured something bad was going to happen, and got the letter to the king. They searched the entire building, finally finding Fawkes sitting with dozens of barrels of gun powder.

Fawkes was arrested and tortured for information on the other conspirators. I forget if he gave up the names, but they were able to arrest others. At the time, the punishment for traitors was as so: You would be hung multiple times, ensuring you did not die in this process though. Then, they would cut open your stomach, pull out your intestines, and burn them in front of you. Your death would come when they ripped out your heart and threw it into the audience. And for good measure, you'd be tied up to four horses who would run in opposite directions and tear you apart. Your head would also be cut off and tarred so it could be posted on a stake.

They left Fawkes till last, believing him to be the mastermind, it had to be the biggest spectacle. However, when it came time to hang him, he bolted or fell, and his neck snapped from the noose. Since the whole burning intestines thing doesn't mean much if you're not alive, they built a giant bonfire burnt his entire body. And Bonfire night was born.

Remember, remember the fifth of November.
Gunpowder, treason, and plot.
I see no reason, why gunpowder treason,
Should ever be forgot.

#11 to #9 - dafuckisthishit (11/01/2013) [-]

near where i live is a pub where two of the co-conspirators were found following a loud bang, they were hiding in the cellar and their gunpowder how gotten wet. Deciding like the clever gentlemen they were, they put their power next to the fire to dry it out.

one of them was blinded the other was lightly inured and both were arrested.

#12 to #11 - nyxeos ONLINE (11/01/2013) [-]

Right, I forgot that part of the story. ******* geniuses they were. But to be fair, like I said, Fawkes was the gun powder guy.

#13 to #12 - dafuckisthishit (11/01/2013) [-]

i just enjoy stuart trivia

#17 to #9 - mrselfdestruct (11/01/2013) [-]

I believe that's called being hanged, drawn and quartered.

#34 to #17 - nyxeos ONLINE (11/01/2013) [-]

That it is. I just went into detail for anyone who didn't know what exactly that entails.

#94 to #34 - mrselfdestruct (11/02/2013) [-]

more like "what exactly that ENTRAILS"

#95 to #94 - nyxeos ONLINE (11/02/2013) [-]

This is one time I wish I had saved that "OP made a pun so bad it destroyed the world" picture.

#96 to #95 - mrselfdestruct (11/02/2013) [-]

#97 to #96 - nyxeos ONLINE (11/02/2013) [-]

I'm not upset... it was just a bad pun.

#55 to #9 - thebrownydestroyer **User deleted account** (11/01/2013) [-]

I think he jumped on purpose to make his neck snap, tbh i would rather that than still be alive for the rest of the punishment, **** was brutal.

#73 to #9 - cactusphalus (11/02/2013) [-]

What I learned on FJ today.jpeg

british people are scary

#81 to #73 - anon (11/02/2013) [-]

Supposedly Guy Fawkes signature before and then after the torture.

+12

#8 - hillbill (11/01/2013) [-]

Sound about right

#53 - booped (11/01/2013) [-]

< British People In Reality.

#62 to #53 - mymiddleleg (11/01/2013) [-]

#65 to #62 - booped (11/01/2013) [-]

Oh Britain. How I love you.

#19 - chuckbillrow (11/01/2013) [-]

Remember, remember! The fifth of November,
The Gunpowder treason and plot; I know of no reason
Why the Gunpowder treason Should ever be forgot!
Guy Fawkes and his companions Did the scheme contrive,
To blow the King and Parliament All up alive.
Threescore barrels, laid below, To prove old England's overthrow.
But, by God's providence, him they catch, With a dark lantern, lighting a match!
A stick and a stake For King James's sake!
If you won't give me one, I'll take two,
The better for me, And the worse for you.
A rope, a rope, to hang the Pope, A penn'orth of cheese to choke him,
A pint of beer to wash it down, And a jolly good fire to burn him.
Holloa, boys! holloa, boys! make the bells ring! Holloa, boys! holloa boys! God save the King! Hip, hip, hooor-r-r-ray!

#51 - dewydonut (11/01/2013) [-]

"Dad you can't put that on the bonfire, Guy Fawkes wasn't even black"

"...Who the **** is Guy Fawkes?"

#46 - bizzar ONLINE (11/01/2013) [-]

For many this the moment you realise that Fawkes ain`t your guy, or buddy... or friend

#45 - wobblewub ONLINE (11/01/2013) [-]

I'd say I'm glad that this post doesn't really take a side, as in claiming which country is better, but if I did I'd probably get thumb raped by people from the Uk.

#33 - VikiIsAwsum (11/01/2013) [-]

my birthday is Guy Fawkes day...

#50 - shaggydaddy (11/01/2013) [-]

aaand just like that I'm watching V for Vendetta.

#18 - include (11/01/2013) [-]

America.

#69 - arcticassassin ONLINE (11/01/2013) [-]

Britain's fw

#54 - zhayce (11/01/2013) [-]

Burn baby burn!

#59 to #54 - theoriginaltwat has deleted their comment [-]

#39 - zallaz (11/01/2013) [-]

Maybe blowing parliament up isn't the way to go, but some changes certainly need to be done around here regarding government. But thanks to Maggie Thatcher our economical situation is on a constant downwards spiral.