life in soviet. worth the read not mine enjoy. Mother and father get little tired from building Communism, so they want to go to Moscow to buy vodka. Thay call  soviet
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life in soviet

life in soviet. worth the read not mine enjoy. Mother and father get little tired from building Communism, so they want to go to Moscow to buy vodka. Thay call

worth the read
not mine
enjoy

Tags: soviet
Mother and father get little tired from building Communism, so they want to
go to Moscow to buy vodka. Thay call !.. ssd babysitter. When
babysitter arrives, children already sleep in - Mitis bedsitter just sits around
and make sure good itit I; then t night, babysitter gets
Batarian and gees to read Mar BIR P. rft read d in because there' s no
electricity (parents didn' t , "l _en. . .
So, she calls parents and %.. lil. tis candles their reem.
Of course, the parents say) it. ' f, Jij' iii; atter has Aili. i. i', iii.. oiiw request. She ask
if she could COVE!‘ up Lenin statue tootsi idiiot. . edwee ‘ 'viii... i. i. with blanket er
Militia find all tradee... . t.. sithi), i... ii' kill them for trying
center Lenin militia arrest parents for nosediving Lenin statue.
Such is life in Moscow.
...
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Views: 49415
Favorited: 245
Submitted: 05/17/2012
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Comments(148):

[ 148 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #29 - harryboom (05/18/2012) [-]
One night, I was in bed, beating my wife, when phone ring. I beat
phone, then pick it up. I hear voice. Voice says;
"What you do with my daughter?!"
I turn to wife and demand to know why her father interrupt me beating
her. But she say, her father is dead!
Then, KGB break into house and arrest me for illegal possession of phone.
Such is life in Moscow.
#31 to #29 - YourName (05/18/2012) [-]
THEN WHO WAS PHONE?!
#32 to #31 - marcothespud (05/18/2012) [-]
Sorry, couldn't resist.
#103 - anon (05/18/2012) [-]
I don't know who's ******* voice i read this in, but they did a terrible Russian accent
#15 - dwarfman (05/18/2012) [-]
"I was born in Moscow. But I remember nothing of that time. I was just an infant when the old world was destroyed in the flames of nuclear fire. I, along with 40,000 others, was saved by retreating to the metro stations deep under the city. Now twenty years have passed and going up into the embrace of an endless winter was left to a few brave souls. The metro was our home, and our fortress against the nightmarish mutants who roamed the tunnels. Still, we never gave up hope that we would return to the surface. But one day a new threat appeared and we found ourselves in a war to determine the very existence of our species."
#53 to #15 - alanthewhite (05/18/2012) [-]
**alanthewhite rolls 058,853,248** Love that game.
User avatar #77 to #15 - iamrexraptor (05/18/2012) [-]
>walking along in Metro 2033
>Go around a corner
>Giant Rat creature attacks me
>Shoot it, takes like 20 bullets
>Turn around and see all these shadows coming at me
>NOPE NOPE NOPE
>I am Artyom
User avatar #23 to #15 - smokingman (05/18/2012) [-]
what game is this?
#28 to #23 - firesky (05/18/2012) [-]
Actually it's a game from a book by Dmitry Glukhovsky, also named "Metro 2033"

You should read it afterwards because there are a lot of details that are missing in the game. (Or if you like Spoilers you can read it before playing)
User avatar #34 to #28 - futtashy (05/18/2012) [-]
Book is good for story, Game is good for ******* bricks.
#111 to #34 - firesky (05/18/2012) [-]
As you say ^^
#24 to #23 - derpherplover (05/18/2012) [-]
Metro 2033 is the game, but if you buy it, buy some new pants too cause you'll be scared ******** .
User avatar #19 to #15 - futtashy (05/18/2012) [-]
That game is full of NOPE (or Nyet)
#20 to #19 - dwarfman (05/18/2012) [-]
My mind throughout most of the game.
My mind throughout most of the game.
#64 - geraldbostock (05/18/2012) [-]
In a prison, two inmates share their experience.
"What did they arrest you for?" one of them asks. "Was it a political or common crime?"
"Of course political. I'm a plumber. They summoned me to the district Party committee to fix the sewage pipes. I looked and said, 'Hey, the entire system requires replacement.' So, they gave me seven years."
+26
#18 - stebbieranch **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#140 - rawrasaurus (05/18/2012) [-]
for some reason, I read it in Heavy's voice.
#135 - magicana (05/18/2012) [-]
A Russian and an American are arguing about their two countries, and the American said look, I can walk into the White House, into the Oval Office, pound my fist on the desk and say "I don't like the way you're running our country Mr. President"
The Russian replies "I can do that too."
The American asks "Really?"
"Yes. I can go into the Kremlin, to the General Secretaries office, pound my fist on the desk, and say "Mr. General Secretary, I don't like the way President Reagan is running his country."
User avatar #80 - wooyoungkim (05/18/2012) [-]
Vladimir was reaching for towel when he saw it. Something in mirror, darting out of his line of vision. He stared at mirror for a while, trying to work out what he’d seen, drinking vodka from bottle in meantime. There was nothing but reflection. He beginning to dry himself, and he saw it again. Flickering out the corner of his eye, something in mirror! He stepped out of the shower and towards the mirror.

Vladimir’s wife, Tatyana, arrive home later that evening, but Vladimir is nowhere to be found. After searching shack, all she could find of him was towel lying on floor. Tatyana phone KGB like good Soviet woman.

KGB inform Tatyana that Vladimir saw gypsy in mirror, and that Vladimir give chase like strong comrade should. Glorious Communist State give Vladimir award for catching gypsy; two bottles of vodka.

Two days after gypsy-catching, Tayana disappeared from face of Earth. Unfaithful capitalist whore executed for wasting valuable KGB time.

Such is life in Moscow.
#3 - anon (05/18/2012) [-]
Yes...
#21 - metaol (05/18/2012) [-]
I cry everytime
I cry everytime
#36 - unncommon (05/18/2012) [-]
Am I only one who read entire story in Russian accent?
#79 to #36 - anon (05/18/2012) [-]
I read it in Niko Belic's voice.
User avatar #46 to #36 - samxdaxman (05/18/2012) [-]
i read it in nikolais from world at war zombies's voice.
User avatar #60 to #46 - lookatmyhouseofwax (05/18/2012) [-]
You should try reading it in Nico Bellic's voice lol.
User avatar #38 to #36 - mion (05/18/2012) [-]
Nope, did (or atleast tried xD) that too :D
#45 to #36 - assdoreponyfucker (05/18/2012) [-]
i read it in reznov's voice
User avatar #61 to #45 - skwigelf (05/18/2012) [-]
Chernov!!!!!!!
User avatar #63 to #61 - assdoreponyfucker (05/18/2012) [-]
He was the guy who died at the end by flamethrower right? Well it showed he was deeply burned but not actually "dead." Before you leave him his name still popped up when you looked at him, so maybe he lived? On another note, I just love how Reznov says CHYORT!
#67 to #63 - skwigelf (05/18/2012) [-]
yeah i think he died... but its funny how reznov humiliates him all the time, remembers me Sergeant Foley
#113 - Danshu (05/18/2012) [-]
Then who was statue?
#110 - spleenanator (05/18/2012) [-]
read it in his voice the entire time.
User avatar #102 - Kajekillz (05/18/2012) [-]
Little girl home alone while good communist parents work through night of own choice for betterment of the motherland.
Little girl heres front door open, as Soviet Russia is so safe no need for locks, girl feels for vodka bottle under bed, coldness soothes her, goes check but no one there must be wind.
Girl goes back to bed and feels cool vodka bottle.
Girl wakes up goes to bathroom and finds vodka bottle smashed and written on mirror "Capatalist can be cold to"
Girl is taken by KGB for harboring capatilist and executed for wasting of vodka.
Such is life in Soviet Russia
#47 - roflstorm (05/18/2012) [-]
and thats why i moved to america
#70 - ilikebigdick (05/18/2012) [-]
Why would parents not want children reading Marx all night? Stupid capitalists
#25 - risefromhell (05/18/2012) [-]
Anyone have the original?, Would be much appreciated.
User avatar #30 to #25 - zombiesurfer (05/18/2012) [-]
creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/The_Statue
In case the link gets deleted, just do a google search for "the statue creepypasta" and it's the first result.
User avatar #1 - alseides (05/17/2012) [-]
i read this with a Russian accent...
User avatar #41 to #1 - marcothespud (05/18/2012) [-]
I read this with Russian accent... *
#2 to #1 - anon (05/18/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#4 - ryansawesome (05/18/2012) [-]
Oh **** , I lol'd.
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