Two Sentence Stories #21

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Two Sentence Stories #21. Remember the submission deadline for my contest is today! Enter here: www.btschweitzer.com/contests/contestnovember2015/. Like last ti

Remember the submission deadline for my contest is today! Enter here: www.btschweitzer.com/contests/contestnovember2015/. Like last time we have Amazon gift cards as prizes. Enjoy this new batch of stories and let me know what you think.

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+50 Thumbs to Keep Posting My Work or -25 Place Head in an Oven a la Sylvia Plath.
Previous Comps:
Some Two Sentence Stories (#1) - /channel/morbid-channel/Some+two+sentenc e+stories/XtecLKg/
More Two Sentence Stories (#2) -/channel/morbid-channel/More+two+senten ce+stories/funny-pictures/5625063/
Two Sentence Stories #3 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+3/dzpcLqm/
Two Sentence Stories - One Month! (Bonus Comp) - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+one+month/pmTdLcz/
Two Sentence Stories #4 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+4/GnTdLTa/
Two Sentence Stories #5 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+5/anTdLna/
Two Sentence Stories #6 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+6/bnTdLoa/
Two Sentence Stories #7 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+7/BogdLOb/
Two Sentence Stories #8 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+stor ies+8/wqjdLjd/
Two Sentence Stories #9 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+9/plrdLcy/
Two Sentence Stories - 100 Supporters! (Bonus Comp) - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+100+supporters/ovtdLbi/
Two Sentence Stories #10 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+10/xvtdLki/
Two Sentence Stories #11 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+11/foBeLsb/
Two Sentence Stories #12 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+12/kgNeLxt/
Two Sentence Stories #13 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+13/ugNeLht/
Two Sentence Stories #14 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentece+stor ies+14/cLaeLpY/
Two Sentence Stories #15 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+15/eLaeLrY/
Two Sentence Stories #16 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+16/lTceLyG/
Two Sentence Stories #17 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+17/zlgeLmy/
Two Sentence Stories #18 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+18/MmgeLZz/
Two Sentence Stories #19 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+19/sYqeLfL/
Two Sentence Stories Halloween Part 1 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+halloween+part+1/wYqeLjL/
Two Sentence Stories Halloween Part 2 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+stories+halloween+part+2/zYqeLmL/
Two Sentence Stories #20 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+stories+20/knDfLxa/
Two Sentence Stories #21 - This one!
Two Sentence Stories #22 - 11/27

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Views:	17899
Favorited:	21
Submitted:	11/20/2015

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+12

#1 - baronbrixius (11/20/2015) [-]

A mugger would attack a person on fire?
I don't quite understand this story.

#33 to #1 - mypickinuraxe (12/12/2015) [-]

I thought it meant he got stabbed a bunch and that was his blood on the muggers hands.

#3 to #1 - btschweitzer [OP](11/20/2015) [-]

sirosd got it in one except I wouldn't necessarily say it was a "curse" just remember that these mostly match up and make one unified story on the cosmic scale.

#2 to #1 - sirosd (11/20/2015) [-]

I think it meant the guy had a curse or something that made people that touched him get rekt

#4 to #1 - shumdek ONLINE (11/20/2015) [-]

Something something Voldemort touching Harry in the first Harry Potter movie.

#11 - migueldecervantes (11/21/2015) [-]

Oh, oh! I have a few:

I was letting a giant **** out of my ass, as the Mexican janitor, who had no ******* clue about the English language and american etiquette, came over to my stall and knocked on my door. It tried and tried, yet it wouldn't flush, and the knocks only got louder.

Drinking Valium to help me relax before my sister's wedding led me to the police station, where the Chief Inspector told me that I tried to shove my sister up the groom's ass. My chuckles were interrupted by his mentioning something about 25-to-life.

I went to Wal-Mart, bought a gallon of Aunt Jemima syrup and drank it all while driving back home. I went delirious and ran over several black ladies while yelling like Tarzan.

My parrot uttered two words "Harder. Jim.", but I was too busy ******* my cat Jim up the ass to care. Then, it dawned on me.

My dad and I visited my mom's graveyard again, as we do every year on the 29th of February. He told me he was happy that the terrorist attacks committed by our group convinced Obama to take a day out of January so that we could commemorate her death by horse-stomping.

I saw to mice having sex. One said to the other "why don't we join ISIS, bro?"

#18 - smartythechicken (11/21/2015) [-]

i thought the first one was great.
i havent kek'd like that for some time.

#21 to #18 - btschweitzer [OP](11/22/2015) [-]

I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it! Espionage is a thing that has always existed in all settings but most people seem to forget it in soft Fantasy unfortunately.

#16 - okamiterasu (11/21/2015) [-]

There once was a man. Or was there?

#23 to #16 - btschweitzer [OP](11/22/2015) [-]

4spooky8me.
Very Descartian.
Good job. With some polish consider entering my future contests.

#12 - cheesywilly (11/21/2015) [-]

What? This doesn't even make sense to me.

#13 to #12 - sapphirox ONLINE (11/21/2015) [-]

It would probably be that soldiers of both sides of a conflict would enlist believing they will be taking part in a fight to end violence

People signing up to be soldiers leads to more war

When the dead start to pile up both sides believe that they are fighting for justice in honor of their fallen comrades

And thus more people sign up

And more people die

And the cycle continues

#25 to #13 - btschweitzer [OP](11/22/2015) [-]

Got in one. Thanks for responding I didn't get the chance to before.

#19 to #13 - cheesywilly (11/21/2015) [-]

I suppose it's not that I don't understand it, but more that it's just so obvious

#24 to #19 - btschweitzer [OP](11/22/2015) [-]

You say its obvious but the US has a standing military how large? I have plenty of life long servicemen in my family and a lot of them only learn that fact after they've seen combat. I'm always against war because it only breeds more war and that is something that shamelessly comes up in my work like again in the last one of this post .

#14 to #12 - emiyashirou ONLINE (11/21/2015) [-]

Honestly that was the one that made the most sense to me, other than the first one.

#26 to #14 - btschweitzer [OP](11/22/2015) [-]

I'm glad you enjoyed it. If I can though did the others not make as much sense or did this one just get to you on a deeper level or something? Feedback is always appreciated.

#28 to #26 - emiyashirou ONLINE (11/22/2015) [-]

Accounting one: Who are "they"? Is he talking about the lizard people or some **** ?
Mugger: Why the **** would the guy attacking him get hurt? Is his body made out of swords or something? body made of swords is a reference to the character my profile is named after
Crusade one: Does it mean it literally in a sort of 2spoopy4me way, or does he mean that the act of waging war for your religion makes you evil?

#29 to #28 - btschweitzer [OP](11/22/2015) [-]

Okay the first two questions are more related than you would think and if its all the same I'll answer in a PM because its like MAJOR spoilers if I give you a satisfying answer.
The third question is easier. I do quite literally mean to imply in that world the crusades were lead by the legions of Hell for a specific purpose. Allegorically it does refer to the same idea as the second story where in most people on the ground are ignorant of the real motivations of their commanders and higher ups. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar even if everybody knows its not. All stories exist on multiple levels and some of my pieces do have a literal interpretation because this is fiction and monsters do exist but a lot have things going on in the background are there to think about too. Hope that answered your question. Look for my PM.

#15 to #14 - emiyashirou ONLINE (11/21/2015) [-]

and yeah, pretty much what sapph said. Both sides fight for peace, but the very action of doing so is contradictory.

#6 - malacrianza (11/21/2015) [-]

Are those just two sentences in English? I'm curious, since in Spanish those stories would have several sentences, called subordinate sentences.

#10 to #6 - retardedboss (11/21/2015) [-]

To be far, a lot of these are contorted into two sentences. If they wanted them to be as clear and understandable as possible they would have been multiple sentences. As is they just sound needlessly verbose.

#9 to #6 - chimpaflimp ONLINE (11/21/2015) [-]

In English they're subordinate clauses and aren't separate sentences entirely but one huge sentence that's been split into sections to make it easier to read or to give extra information.