Two Sentence Stories #19

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Two Sentence Stories #19. It's this week!!!!!!!! I have so much planned and am so excited! I'll be releasing comps of my own stuff on Friday and Saturday. Winne

It's this week!!!!!!!!
I have so much planned and am so excited! I'll be releasing comps of my own stuff on Friday and Saturday. Winners of my writing contest are going to be announced those two days on my site as well. November's contest is already live:www.btschweitzer.com/contests/contestnovember2015/.

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+50 Thumbs to Keep Posting My Work or -25 to turn my skull into a Jack-o-Lantern

Previous Comps:
Some Two Sentence Stories (#1) - /channel/morbid-channel/Some+two+sentenc e+stories/XtecLKg/
More Two Sentence Stories (#2) -/channel/morbid-channel/More+two+senten ce+stories/funny-pictures/5625063/
Two Sentence Stories #3 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+3/dzpcLqm/
Two Sentence Stories - One Month! (Bonus Comp) - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+one+month/pmTdLcz/
Two Sentence Stories #4 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+4/GnTdLTa/
Two Sentence Stories #5 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+5/anTdLna/
Two Sentence Stories #6 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+6/bnTdLoa/
Two Sentence Stories #7 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+7/BogdLOb/
Two Sentence Stories #8 - channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+stor ies+8/wqjdLjd/
Two Sentence Stories #9 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+9/plrdLcy/
Two Sentence Stories - 100 Supporters! (Bonus Comp) - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+100+supporters/ovtdLbi/
Two Sentence Stories #10 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+10/xvtdLki/
Two Sentence Stories #11 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+11/foBeLsb/
Two Sentence Stories #12 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+12/kgNeLxt/
Two Sentence Stories #13 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+13/ugNeLht/
Two Sentence Stories #14 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentece+stor ies+14/cLaeLpY/
Two Sentence Stories #15 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+15/eLaeLrY/
Two Sentence Stories #16 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+16/lTceLyG/
Two Sentence Stories #17 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+17/zlgeLmy/
Two Sentence Stories #18 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+18/MmgeLZz/
Two Sentence Stories #19 - This one!
Two Sentence Stories Halloween Part 1 - Friday 10/30
Two Sentence Stories Halloween Part 2 - Saturday 10/31

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Views:	8968
Favorited:	4
Submitted:	10/28/2015

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#1 - thekeeperofthumbs ONLINE (10/28/2015) [-]

"And that's when I realized I was catkin."

#4 - karmakoala (10/28/2015) [-]

These stories aren't great. Then again, what do I know.

#5 to #4 - btschweitzer [OP](10/29/2015) [-]

I can respect that. What would you suggest to make them stronger?

#6 to #5 - karmakoala (10/29/2015) [-]

I think the twist is just a bit glaring. I think for these really short stories, the less you say the more you tell.

I've followed these comps for a while now, and some of them are fantastic, others are very hit and miss. My favourite is from the first:

I always assumed I would go quickly and painlessly in my sleep. I was awake, and it was taking forever

#7 to #6 - btschweitzer [OP](10/29/2015) [-]

Okay. I'll take it under consideration. Thank you for the honest feedback. And I really loved that one too.

#13 to #5 - Chizypuff (10/29/2015) [-]

I thought the first one was the best.
When you write very short stories you have to do several key things
Catch the readers interest: There are explosions in the city
Create a mystery that writes more story in the readers mind: These are not just terrorist attacks, there is always one survivor but that survivor always dies in the next attack
Don't create too many questions, it causes the story to fall apart: The guy that had the hands touching him, was he actually being touched by something/someone? Something was touching him lightly? Is it just creepy or were they in someway threatening him?

I dunno just some advice, contrasting what I found intriguing vs what I found unnecessary/unwanted

#14 to #13 - btschweitzer [OP](10/29/2015) [-]

Thank you for the feedback. I always appreciate comments like this where something in particular is identified that I can work on. Although it isn't meant as an excuse the other story you mention is written because it can be taken two ways boogeymen or sexual abuse . I was trying to create more subtly there. But thanks. I'll try to keep that in mind for the future. I'll be writing another huge bunch early November so hopefully these suggestions pay off then.

#3 - muchname (10/28/2015) [-]

>giant black creature moving towards me

#18 - advice

(10/29/2015) [-]

>the first one
then who was first explosion?

#21 to #18 - btschweitzer [OP](10/29/2015) [-]

Well I DID say "literal divine intervention...."

#12 - tepidteal ONLINE (10/29/2015) [-]

Your links in the description aren't hyperlinked.

#15 to #12 - btschweitzer [OP](10/29/2015) [-]

Crap. Really >.>'
Should I post the full web address? Or is there some other trick?

#20 to #15 - tepidteal ONLINE (10/29/2015) [-]

Oh. You can manually enter funnyjunk com (writing it without the .com 'cause it'll clear itself otherwise) to these links in the description instead. I wasn't thinking clearly when I replied earlier.

#19 to #15 - tepidteal ONLINE (10/29/2015) [-]

The funnyjunk half of the link gets, like, cleared so it leaves a hyperlinked other half. If you have some working links in the past posts, you probably could just take those and place 'em here since it still says funnyjunk com/oldpost123 or whatever when you look at the edit.

#10 - kilotech (10/29/2015) [-]

I don't get the first one, am I stupid?

#16 to #10 - btschweitzer [OP](10/29/2015) [-]

You aren't stupid but since tepteal beat me to it I won't repeat what he said only add that the Gods are ******* with humanity and created a plague of explosions. One always survives to infect others.

#17 to #16 - btschweitzer [OP](10/29/2015) [-]

Oh darn it. Thought I said tepidteal. My phone is being stupid. I apologize.

#11 to #10 - tepidteal ONLINE (10/29/2015) [-]

In the first sentence, he says that he survived the explosion. In the second one, he says there's a past survivor from the explosions who's probably dead 'cause he's looking through crime scene evidence from the one he was just in.
It probably means that he's gonna die in the next explosion since he's a survivor.

#8 - mrevitcartta (10/29/2015) [-]

what's going on. I'm startled and confused that this is #19 as I cant recall any of the previous ones. Is the goal to write a two sentence story? Or is it to take the premise of the two sentence story and write a short story around it?

#9 to #8 - btschweitzer [OP](10/29/2015) [-]

I'm sorry that you are startled and confused allow me to try helping.
I'm trying to cut my teeth as a horror, science fiction, and fantasy fiction writer. I'd like to make it a profession eventually and have been working towards it the last few months. I mostly write short - like really short - stories either two sentences, 300 word flash fiction, or an occasional 3-ish page short story. I was on FunnyJunk for ages and when I started all this writing I made a separate account under the name I'm hoping to publish with and since then I've been releasing some of the two sentence stories I put on my personal website every week (the other stuff I haven't been sharing as much because I think I need to improve and also because if I share it online I can't publish it afterwards). For Halloween I've been doing 2 comps a week but I usually only do 1 I'll be doing 3 this week. And yes - this is my "19th" regular comp (except I don't count bonus comps so it's really my 21st comp). All the work I share is my own but I hosted a writing contest on my site this month and will probably be doing it again every month in the future. Anyway these are meant to be stories - sometimes not complete ones - and some of them line up to tell bigger stories too but in general people treat them as discrete pieces.
Feeling better?