Two Sentence Stories #10

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Two Sentence Stories #10. My weekly story comp as always. Hope you all enjoyed the bonus comp earlier this week and this one too. As always if you see something

My weekly story comp as always. Hope you all enjoyed the bonus comp earlier this week and this one too. As always if you see something you enjoy or hate, if you are aware of a way to improve my writing, or want to see something specific let me know! I'm generally pretty friendly - you can even subscribe/friend if you want to lol. I'd love to meet some of the writers on FunnyJunk.

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+50 Thumbs to Continue Posting My Work or -25 to Go Die in a Fire

Previous Comps:
Some Two Sentence Stories (#1) - /channel/morbid-channel/Some+two+sentenc e+stories/XtecLKg/
More Two Sentence Stories (#2) -/channel/morbid-channel/More+two+senten ce+stories/funny-pictures/5625063/
Two Sentence Stories #3 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+3/dzpcLqm/
Two Sentence Stories - One Month! (Bonus Comp) - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+one+month/pmTdLcz/
Two Sentence Stories #4 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+4/GnTdLTa/
Two Sentence Stories #5 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+5/anTdLna/
Two Sentence Stories #6 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+6/bnTdLoa/
Two Sentence Stories #7 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+7/BogdLOb/
Two Sentence Stories #8 - channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+stor ies+8/wqjdLjd/
Two Sentence Stories #9 - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+9/plrdLcy/
Two Sentence Stories - 100 Supporters! (Bonus Comp) - /channel/morbid-channel/Two+sentence+sto ries+100+supporters/ovtdLbi/
Two Sentence Stories #10 - This one!
Two Sentence Stories #11 - Will be released on 09/25

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Views:	23450
Favorited:	44
Submitted:	09/18/2015

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+48

#5 - anon (09/19/2015) [-]

How much for the compass?

#21 to #5 - failsc (09/19/2015) [-]

what, do you intend to **** whatever you fear?

+16

#22 to #21 - ComradeBritish (09/19/2015) [-]

I mean... if it's an option.

#25 to #22 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

Hey deadly works best when paired with sexy....

+27

#9 - paradoxofnight (09/19/2015) [-]

That last one

#26 to #9 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

Just finished it last week. Gods was it a good game even if the main mechanic wasn't as diverse as I expected it to be. Also Emily had like 0 redeeming qualities and Sam was too much best girl. But I actually wrote this one a few months back (I patch produce) and was more influenced by the Scary Stories To Tell in the Dark series of books.

#16 to #9 - pirateseatcarrots (09/19/2015) [-]

Just finished that game 9/10 would not recommend human flesh

#19 to #16 - crushking (09/19/2015) [-]

What's the name of the game?

#20 to #19 - natsuthesalamander (09/19/2015) [-]

Until Dawn, if a horror movie was a game

+14

#6 - threemany (09/19/2015) [-]

First one just sounds like he's afraid of being lonely.

#28 to #6 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

Seriously this is perhaps the single most intelligent interpretation I have seen for that particular story. It beats out what I had in mind when I wrote it. Bravo. I think this will be the official meaning now.

#12 - krasnogvardiech (09/19/2015) [-]

His reach was global, his tower secure. His cause was noble, his power was pure.

#15 to #12 - brokentrucker ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]

I could hand out a million vaccinations.

Or let em all die from exasperation.

Have em all healed from their lacerations.

Have em all killed by assassinations.

#8 - derpwolf ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]

That last one - ******* wendigos.

The only suggestion I have specifically for your writing is that some of the sentences are pretty unwieldy. They just don't really read right, at times.

I write as a hobby.

#29 to #8 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

I know. I'm working on pairing down my sentences while still maintaining the same detail and feeling in each piece. Hopefully, I can continue to get better and these skills translate to my longer pieces. Thank you for saying so. Do you see any specific ways for me to achieve that given my last 12 comps?

#11 to #8 - krasnogvardiech (09/19/2015) [-]

You're right, it's a hobby!

#13 to #8 - supahsayin (09/19/2015) [-]

Hey, I'm gonna give one a go.

"It has been said that true sufferers of insanity don't realize their ailment. However, I feel very insane when I watch my image in the mirror smile at me."

#18 to #13 - derpwolf ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]

"The tinkle of my cat's little bell and cute meow usually soothed me. Staring at his eyes glowing in the dark, a single thought ran through my mind; how did he open the coffin?

I don't actually know if pet coffins exist.

#31 to #18 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

Your story works as is but I'd incorporate a touch more detail about why your cat is in the coffin to make it exceptional unless you are trying to build off another one of my previous stories (about the cats digging up graves). I say that because cats and corpses have a long association in Asiatic folklore including the belief that a cat jumping over the body could reanimate it as an undead slave.

#56 to #31 - derpwolf ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]

I'm just making **** up. My specialty isn't in anything below 1000 words.

#59 to #56 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

Hey length is relative but quality isn't. Have you shared your work?

#61 to #59 - derpwolf ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]

On FJ I usually don't. I have it up and around other places.

Here's the second draft of the book I wrote, if you're interested in taking a gander at it: www.inkitt.com/stories/21963

#64 to #61 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

Trying to make it a livelihood? I am for better or worse. Had any success elsewhere?

#65 to #64 - derpwolf ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]

Nah. I just wrote the first draft in two and a half weeks after I had to take medical leave from school for a semester. I write as a hobby.

As for more luck elsewhere - also no. The only place I've put up work of mine is on dA and people there can't/don't read, or only read **** fanfiction.

#66 to #65 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

Anybody can be a writer. Don't let negative feedback get to you. And consider sharing your stuff on here or elsewhere dA is a silly place.

#67 to #66 - derpwolf ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]

It's not even that I don't consider myself a writer, or that I get negative feedback. I don't, usually. I just wouldn't want to do it as a career because I'm lazy and don't always capitalize on my ideas. I've had a story trilogy sitting around in my head for about six years that I never put any part of to paper because I can't be assed.

I suppose I could post my book on FJ, but I don't think people actually read here.

#68 to #67 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

For my two cents I know writing is the only profession I could feasibly do that meant anything. So far I've worked in fast food, in big box stores, and for customer service phone lines and I've hated each one. I'm pretty freaking lazy but in life you have to amount to something and it might as well be something you enjoy.

#70 to #68 - derpwolf ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]

Yeah. That's why I'm going to school for a biology degree with emphasis in medical science. That's something I'm interested in as a career. Different strokes for different folks.

#71 to #70 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

Ah I see. My boyfriend is actually waiting on med interviews now from his top choices. Hopefully he gets in this cycle and things go according to plan while I finish up my degrees.

#23 to #18 - supahsayin (09/19/2015) [-]

There are pet cemeteries, so I think youre good.

#17 to #13 - pirateseatcarrots (09/19/2015) [-]

"The darkness of space never frightened the lone astronaut. It was knocking on the blast doors that did"

#33 to #17 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

Reminds me of the Doctor Who episode or the Apollo 18 film. That doesn't make it any less valid and I'd still encourage you to submit a story to my monthly contests starting in October.

#30 to #13 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

Not half bad. I'm launching a monthly writing contest on my website in October. Consider entering.

#32 to #30 - supahsayin (09/19/2015) [-]

Oh boy, contests, I like those

Is there a prize? I'll probably enter anyway though, since writing practice is still writing practice.

#34 to #32 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

It'll be on my site and rules will go in a week or so. Winner will get some stuff including being featured on my site and seasonal newsletter and some other stuff.

#36 to #34 - supahsayin (09/19/2015) [-]

Alright, I'll friend you so I can remember that; I normally have very bad short term memory.

Also, have you considered doing anything on the |Books| board here, if you don't already? I started a series of book reviews, but the tragedy of it is that college has started and I can't take the time to read the books that I'd be reviewing, with my full course load and the whole 'addicted to video games' deal.

#44 to #36 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

I didn't know there was a books board. I'll subscribe but the truth is Morbid is tell my preferred board. This isn't my first account but I'm an old hand and am sentimental about it. As for reviews I know that feel completely man. I'm working and writing and am addicted to games too. I'd love to do something for the community to give back though and have been playing with idea of organizing a digital anthology if people are interested and there is enough work.

#24 - thesovereigngrave (09/19/2015) [-]

******* shoggoths, man.

#35 to #24 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

Basically. Although I feel its a bit of a writing cop out to just say "hurr durr Lovecraftian" like so many modern writers do given the real genius of his work. I'm actually trying to active shy away from too much thematic similarity.

#1 - traks (09/18/2015) [-]

Nice, as always m8
Keep up the good work

#2 to #1 - btschweitzer [OP](09/18/2015) [-]

Thank you kindly!

#47 - thedutchs (09/19/2015) [-]

I don't get the first one.

Is the story that he's afraid of the house? The world? His grandfather's ghost that is making circles around him at 300 rpm?

#52 to #47 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

When I wrote it I was going for that he was afraid of the house or unseen things but then threemany on here suggested that he was afraid of being alone and I fell in love with that explanation.

#54 to #52 - thedutchs (09/19/2015) [-]

It must be very fun for you to see how others interpret your story.

I'm in a sort of writing mood too.

#60 to #54 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

It's the best honestly just to imagine that people care enough about my work to actually analyze it like that. It's really very flattering. Plus I think it helps me produce better work down the road.

#55 to #47 - emperorwatergate (09/19/2015) [-]

He isn't really alone.

#46 - craftyatom (09/19/2015) [-]

First one just means you're afraid of being alone.

#53 to #46 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

Yeah that is what threemany suggested earlier. Truthfully, I hadn't gone for that but the explanation was so elegant and in line with my interests that I fell in love with it instantly and now consider that the official explanation. Like in DMing you quickly learn the populous is more intelligent and creative as a collective than the progenitor is a solitary individual.

#14 - lathyrusvii (09/19/2015) [-]

Neat stories.

I used to be a writer, then I took a discouragement to the testicles.

#37 to #14 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

Thanks for saying so. And listen I didn't really start any of this until I met and started dating my current boyfriend because he was the first person to really believe in me and support my work. I haven't achieved much but everyday I'm making progress because somebody is pulling for me. It gets tough sometimes but knowing I'm not alone helps. If you really want to write the only person stopping you is you. I'm still new to all this but if I can help you out I'm willing to - shoot me a PM or something to chat if you want to.

#7 - karlKroenen (09/19/2015) [-]

"She always had that about her, that look of otherness, of eyes that see things much too far, and of thoughts that wander off the edge of the world.”

#38 to #7 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

Where is that from? I can't help but think I've heard it before. Major props if you wrote that. Its very lyrical.

#4 - grimfuck ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]

I kinda wish there was elaborated stories for some of these.

#39 to #4 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

You are NOT the first person to ask for this so for my Halloween Party (every day in October) I'll be releasing 300 word Macrofiction versions of four Microfiction stories. If its popular I'll I might do them regularly into the future based off popular vote for which stories get the long treatment.

#58 to #39 - grimfuck ONLINE (09/19/2015) [-]

I would vote for the "vessel of the hunt" one..
and will subscribe and send as many green thumbs your way as I can if you do.

#62 to #58 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

Thank you kindly! And trust me I like that one too (I'm just DYING to combine it and my Fat Skeletons mythos) but we'll see what people ultimately vote for. I have a sneaking suspicion that is going to be the most popular form of content if I can pull it off well.

#84 - vegeta (10/13/2015) [-]

If there was nothing before the big bang, we come from nothing.
if there was everything forever, we still come from nothing.
all of our dreams come from sleeping which is the act of doing nothing and we want them to be true.
so what if dreams can only be true with your nightmares in toe.
how screwed are you? how screwed is everyone else? are your dreams soft enough
to cushion the fall when you don't wake up.

#85 to #84 - btschweitzer [OP](10/14/2015) [-]

I dig your poetry. Write some more.

#86 to #85 - vegeta (10/14/2015) [-]

I have.
and it's for my full length stories. so I ain't posting it yet.
Homer didn't get famous by telling the Odyssey in one day.

#87 to #86 - btschweitzer [OP](10/14/2015) [-]

I know the struggle. I'm trying to get some publications under my belt and its a big reason why I don't share longer pieces.

#57 - wiewatwaar (09/19/2015) [-]

A friend and I try to write a story with using no more than three sentences per turn... And Usually I make a sport of it to put as much as I can in those sentences, to steer the story in a direction that I like.. or as little as possible, because I don't know where to go...
But sometimes, for the sake of readability, one just has to sneak in an extra sentence...

#63 to #57 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

I understand what you mean. The media of two sentences is a restriction I'm forcing upon myself. I've actually made some decent ground on publishing longer pieces and hope to have around ten stories total in print by December if I play my cards right. I should know by the end of this month if three of my pieces got picked up for a contest hopefully. But I mostly stick to two sentence stories because they are very pragmatic (and still offer me the chance to develop as a writer.

#27 - frenzyhero (09/19/2015) [-]

make them 3 sentence stories if it means they don't have to be so drawn out and hashed just for the sake of being a "2 sentence story".

#42 to #27 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

It just doesn't have the same ring to it. Maybe in the future when I'm better at grammar I'll do it. For now these serve my purposes and are hopefully still enjoyable. But I do appreciate the feedback. Do you have any specific feedback on how I could improve my current format?

#43 to #42 - frenzyhero (09/19/2015) [-]

people liked these because they were simple. the longer the more you detract from their original charm. trim the fat. less detail is key. avoid big writing.

#45 to #43 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

Okay. I'll try to keep those in mind moving forward. Simplicity among the most difficult things to do well in writing and I'm afraid my skill level isn't there just yet but I'll try.

#10 - sparkyfetchest (09/19/2015) [-]

Creepy as ****

#40 to #10 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

Thank you for saying so!

#3 - photophantom (09/18/2015) [-]

Gives me the shivers, I love it.

#41 to #3 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

Glad to hear! Hope you enjoy the others!

#48 to #41 - photophantom (09/19/2015) [-]

I do! Thank you for the hard work!

#50 to #48 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

Trying to eventually make a living out of it.

#69 to #50 - photophantom (09/19/2015) [-]

Very interesting. How would you go about doing it?

#72 to #69 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

Well my plan right now is to follow the traditional route as much as possible. First, I'm working to build a following for my work online (thus far I'm averaging several hundred to just shy of 1,500 views per week on my website and have garnered nearly 150 followers since July) personally hoping for a minimum of 1000 views every week and 200+ followers by December so I have a built in consumer base (I'll be running ads on Google and FB starting next month to see if they make a difference especially since October is going to be my peak traffic time and I'm really excited to say that a script I created is being turned into a YouTube series over the next few months to premiere in summer 2016 by some college kids). Secondly, I'm working to improve my writing credentials through writing a lot (I've released nearly 100 microfiction so far and I've submitted five pieces for publication with another few going in before the end of the month - three look VERY promising and I should have an answer by the end of September at which point I'll join the official writing associations/guilds) and I'm personally shooting for 10 publications (more or less what I need to get a standard lit agent but I want to have more under my belt before that) by the end of the calendar year and 200ish stories released. Thirdly, I'm working on a trunk of work to improve my skill level and have pieces ready to go as much as possible and building up professional connections through attending conferences/conventions while still completing my degrees (I'm finishing up dual BAs in Creative Writing and Journalism with a likely minor in History) before going for a Masters and getting an industry job for a year or two (although my boyfriend is trying for medical school and we've agreed he will support me financially when he graduates so I may not need to this last bit depending). Then when I feel I have enough of a professional record (we're talking another year, to year and a half, down the road depending on how many pieces are picked up and if I win any contests) I'll approach a publishing house (my boyfriend has a personal relationship with an executive at a New York house that agreed to look over a manuscript when I was ready) to see what I can get out there formally then subsist on publishing one or two major works a year while maintaining the website and online presence. I'll try that out for awhile and if no bites after a year or two then I'll transition to a more indie style of self publication and begin to utilize my website for ad revenue (I don't currently run ads for profit). In the meantime I'm conflicted as to whether or not I want to sell my work in the form of self published digital collections (I have the microfiction grouped by universe and was for a long time planning to sell a collection in each world per year as well as another short story anthology project I'm working on) or not. It's a double edged sword and thankfully I don't need the money right this second so I may choose not to. But that was my plan more or less. The truth is college doesn't prepare you for this process so I may have the wrong idea on a few points so if you know of a better approach or have any feedback I'm happy to listen. It isn't easy out there and with the internet anybody can be a writer for better or worse so I know I'll have to spend a long time at the grindstone paying my dues.

#73 to #72 - photophantom (09/20/2015) [-]

Well hot damn you do have a plan Lol! I admirer the fact that you can plan like that. I'm mostly just sit back and find the right door to open as I live my life.
Your plan sounds amazing and the only advice I can give is to remember to relax when you find a chance. Oh also about private digital sales, my Opa tried that with a book he'd written about music. I thought it was funny and informative but the digital market is hard. Even harder when you have to do marketing on your own. In the end it'll be your choice but if you ever need someone to talk to I'll be here

#74 to #73 - btschweitzer [OP](09/20/2015) [-]

Thank you kindly! Personally, I'd rather have a plan and let it fall apart on me than going forward blind. But even the best laid plans fail. Thank you for the support and I do hope it works out for you too!

#75 to #74 - photophantom (09/20/2015) [-]

Thank you! My husband and I are about to pick up our lives and move to another state, he's only been out of Utah three times in his life. Two of them were with me, so your well wishes mean allot.

#76 to #75 - btschweitzer [OP](09/20/2015) [-]

If it helps my boyfriend is from Miami and I'll be moving cross country to live with him when I finally graduate.

#77 to #76 - photophantom (09/20/2015) [-]

It is nice to know we aren't the only ones.

#78 to #77 - btschweitzer [OP](09/20/2015) [-]

Good luck with the move, I hope it works out for you!

#79 to #78 - photophantom (09/20/2015) [-]

Thank you. Good luck to you too

-1

#49 - sympathyforme (09/19/2015) [-]

These are all pretty **** .

#51 to #49 - btschweitzer [OP](09/19/2015) [-]

Sorry you think so - any particular reason?

#80 to #51 - sympathyforme (09/21/2015) [-]

All of them seemed like they were trying to hard to 'make you think' or whatever, but just ended up being boring.

Like the one about the guy who trained and died of a disease or infection or whatever. That's not scary or creepy, that's just a thing that happened.

And the 'spirits of the north' just made me eye roll.

Of course the only good "one/two" sentence short horror story I've read is the one with last man on earth hearing a knock at the door.

It's hard to scare people with 2 sentences is my point, don't take it personally. (didn't read the description)

#81 to #80 - btschweitzer [OP](09/21/2015) [-]

Thank you for the feedback. I'm sorry you feel that way but every media comes with its own challenges and for where I am in my career it feels like the best choice for me. Personally, I enjoy when people have to think about my work and there is usually a lot more in each piece than might meet the eye for someone willing to look but I can also see your view of wanting entertainment without thought as well (and that really isn't meant to be insulting). For the record the story you are talking about is actually only the first two lines of a short story that the internet likes to bring out as a two sentence piece.

#82 to #81 - sympathyforme (09/21/2015) [-]

Huh, didn't know that about that story.

But anyway, no I think you misunderstood me, I don't want entertainment without thought. What I'm saying is your stories came across (to me) as entertainment without thought, but which tried to seem deep or meaningful.