The Bad Dream. .. And then your wife taps you on the shoulder and asks you what's wrong, reassures your daughter that the nightmare isn't true and that she's still Mommy. Then yo
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The Bad Dream

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Views: 94547
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Submitted: 12/09/2012
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#4 - elcreepo ONLINE (12/10/2012) [+] (9 replies)
And then your wife taps you on the shoulder and asks you what's wrong, reassures your daughter that the nightmare isn't true and that she's still Mommy. Then your daughter snuggles into your bed and you all fall asleep, happily ever after.
And then your wife taps you on the shoulder and asks you what's wrong, reassures your daughter that the nightmare isn't true and that she's still Mommy. Then your daughter snuggles into your bed and you all fall asleep, happily ever after.
User avatar #78 - supacrap (12/10/2012) [+] (10 replies)
> At gf's house having sex
> Hear her big marine ex-boyfriend coming through the door
> He is screaming and yelling
> He opens the door
> By this time I barely got my jeans on
> Throws me out the window
> Ripped jeans, skin was showing
> Hot night, wind was blowing
> Where you think you're going, baby?
User avatar #176 - taxation (12/10/2012) [-]
The Russian version.
Father, I had bad dream"

You take sip of vodka and roll over. You stare at clocktower on Sobornaya Square. It's 3:23. "Go back to sleep, there is work tomorrow." "No, Father." The familiar warm buzz of vodka starts to sink in. You can barely make out your daughter's pale form in the darkness. "Why is that, devochka moya?" "Because in my dream, when I was about to go back to sleep, the thing wearing Mother's skin sat up." You pause, and face your daughter and look at her intensely. The figure behind you begins to stir.

"Don't talk that way about your brother, it is not his fault we have no money for coats. Such is life in Moscow."
#72 - sallythemanatee (12/10/2012) [-]
It's okay honey, that's just what your mom looks like without make-up.
#100 - fecal (12/10/2012) [-]
I lol'd because I read 'your cock glows red in the darkness' and then could not take it seriously anymore
User avatar #129 - ohgodmysides (12/10/2012) [+] (3 replies)
I seriously expected the story to end like this:

"...For a moment, you feel paralyzed; you can't take your eyes off of your daughter. The covers behind you begin to shift. You hear a deep and beastly breathing behind you, as something ... huge finishes sliding out of the skin of your former wife. You are still unable to move as it creeps closer to you. Hundreds of pointy teeth are crashing against each other an inch away from your ear, as it whispers: "I need about tree fiddy." It was about that time that you realize your wife has been a 500 feet tall monster from the paleolithic area."
#9 - thekermitfrog (12/10/2012) [-]
Until you realize it's 1960's china and the thing wearing mom's skin is Mao.
#151 - cupcakedevourer (12/10/2012) [-]
Well, why the fuck did you TELL him then, you little shit?
User avatar #215 - DisgruntledTomato (12/10/2012) [+] (7 replies)
"Comrade I had bad dream" You blink eye and pull up on your elbows. Your sickle glows silver in the darkness it is 6:00am ready for harvest

"Do you want to climb into hay and tell me about it"

"No, Comrade"

Because in dream John is kill, when I told you Lenin wearing Dmitri's bear suit sat up"

For moment, you feel alcohol poisoning; cannot take eye of Nikolai. The straw behind you begin to shift, and you hear "no"

KGB then break down shed door and take Nikolai away for not sharing dream with the motherland.

Such is life in Moscow.
User avatar #268 - crafty (12/10/2012) [+] (1 reply)
I honestly read it as "Your cock glows red in the darkness"
#63 - titletaker (12/10/2012) [+] (2 replies)
As my wife rose from her sleep, I could feel a sinister presence, and I heard very softly in my ear: "Imma need about tree fiddy."   
That's when I realized that my wife was really an eighty foot crustacean from the protozoic era.
As my wife rose from her sleep, I could feel a sinister presence, and I heard very softly in my ear: "Imma need about tree fiddy."
That's when I realized that my wife was really an eighty foot crustacean from the protozoic era.
#168 - perkushinist (12/10/2012) [+] (7 replies)
BUT WHO WAS PHONE??
BUT WHO WAS PHONE??
User avatar #97 - indiaan (12/10/2012) [+] (2 replies)
So ur wid yo honi and ur makin out wen the phone ringz. U ansr it n da voice sayz "wut r u doin wit ma daughter?"

u tel ur girl n she say "ma dad is ded."

THEN WHO WAS PHONE?
#93 - qballextraction (12/10/2012) [-]
And then...
And then...
#162 - acksl (12/10/2012) [-]
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#69 - dyoxide ONLINE (12/10/2012) [+] (8 replies)
And then....
And then....
User avatar #43 - blackcomet (12/10/2012) [+] (2 replies)
I'm glad I'm masturbating naked right now, otherwise I'd be a little scared.
#178 - chaoticlaw ONLINE (12/10/2012) [-]
#258 - redsalsa (12/10/2012) [-]
i had to read it like 10 times before i realized it was from the point of view of the father
#2 - bjarkijon (12/10/2012) [-]
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