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User avatar #15 - owenkolo (05/03/2012) [-]
i like it some parts seem a little rushed/emotionless. like the guy didn't seem upset about his wife but maybe hes just a cold calculating scientist anyway enjoying it and very good overall
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User avatar #16 to #15 - fudgeandjunkies (05/03/2012) [-]
I'm sorry if you don't like that part. I kind of did rush through writing that part, because I wasn't really worried about it right now. I was going to just get the main ideas written down and I was going to go back later and edit it. I was basically just letting you guys see the process of writing it. Thanks for the feedback, though.
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User avatar #17 to #16 - owenkolo (05/04/2012) [-]
didnt say i didnt like it :) just thought it could use some work, also didnt know it was just the main idea but like i said great so far :D

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