SCP-993

To all Foundation Personnel:
A frightening trend has developed in which confidential Foundation documents have found themselves in circulation on the internet, despite the best efforts of Dr. ██████, multiple leaks have been uncovered resulting in the immediate demotion of assistant Researcher ████ and Agent ██████ to D-145-342 and D-467-328 respectively. We all Know what is at risk, and the information release has already caused XK-████ scenario and the escape of SPC-████ and SPC-████ resulting in the loss of [REDACTED] Civilian's and [REDACTED] Foundation personnel. All personnel are to report to [REDACTED] for Dr. Clef's lecture on data security, A rereading of our standard confidentiality agreement and what exactly a breach of contract entails.

O5-██

Yeah, keep posting SCPs here on Funnyjunk. Soon, everyone in Funnyjunk is gonna be all like "OMG SCP IS SO COOL".

Look up SCP 216. I dare you to play the sound at the end of it after reading about it

You know, this guy.

this fucking guy....

Please, continue to post these.
they only get better

Seriously what the fuck are these SCP-things? I browsed the wiki yesterday but still I did not get them... Are these supposed to be real things or just some morbid stories or what?
My mind is still full of wat.

www.scp-wiki.net/

How about you stop thumbwhoring and give them this link?

You'd might as well post 173 and 087-B

'Bobble's Kitchen Surprise' - Setting of episode is a stereotypical small American town. In the episode, Bobble the Clown appears to kidnap one of the town's citizens and takes him to his home. Once there, Bobble the Clown informs the viewer on how to prepare human flesh for consumption, then proceeds to skin, gut and cook the citizen.

'Bobble in the Big City' - Setting of episode is a large American city, possibly New York. In the episode, Bobble the Clown instructs viewers on methods of lighting fires undetected, using resources such as mosquito coils. At the end of the episode, Bobble the Clown sets fire to a large building and leaves. The picture stays on the burning building for a further three minutes before the episode ends. Screams are audible during this time.

'Bobble's Sneaky Saturday' - Setting of episode appears to be London, as Big Ben is visible. In the episode, Bobble the Clown silently stalks a woman for most of the episode. When she arrives at her home, Bobble the Clown attacks and kills her with a large butcher knife. At the end of the episode, Bobble the Clown details methods of remaining unseen in crowded places.

'Bobble Gets the Truth' - Setting of episode appears to be a Prisoner of War camp. In the episode, Bobble the Clown tortures a captured soldier, repeatedly asking him nonsensical questions. The soldier eventually appears to die of his wounds. Bobble the Clown then details to the viewer how to inflict painful, but non-lethal injuries.

'Bobble Hates You' - Setting of episode appears to be a blank room. Bobble the Clown sits on a chair in the room staring angrily at the viewer for the full thirty minutes of the episode.

The solution is rather simple.

I didn't realize that Wonder Showzen had changed its name.

I hope this thumbwhore gets locked in with 682

so you just copied a post from the scp foundation and put it on funnyjunk? how clever!

scp-wiki.net/scp-993

Jesus this SCP thing is really blowing up, can someone explain this all to me? I know about the statue and the stairway but that's really it.

stop thumb whoring, whore. just google SCP people, its a lot easier.

ive read every article up to 847.
and im surprised its starting to catch onto funnyjunk.

I'm not sure of lot of people think this, but the one Bobble the Clown episode says that Bobble has a plan to breach containment of some SCP's, and recently on the SCP website that Bobble's containment was breached. So I think that's how SCP 173 got loose, because Bobble's made it so he escaped. Dat shit cray.

Moar

Item #: SCP-2558-J

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: All specimens are to be contained in a play environment with toys that are unlikely to make sudden noises or motions, with comfortable room temperature and a very slow-moving automated feeder. Any personnel of Level 1 or above are authorized to interact with SCP-2558-J, but removing them from containment is highly discouraged.

Specimens of the variety SCP-2558-J-ex are to be contained in a similar way, except that the walls of the containment room are to be fireproof and blast-resistant.

Description: Under normal circumstances, SCP-2558-J appears to be a group of normal kittens, of several different breeds. They are nearly universally friendly and tend towards affectionate interaction with humans and each other.

When startled or threatened, they inflate into a ball of fluff roughly the size of a soccer ball. Their eyes are still visible through the fluff, and they begin mewling in a way that induces semi-parental instincts in all nearby, including the hearing impaired. Their range of motion is limited to anywhere they can roll, but they display surprising agility even when attempting to navigate a cluttered environment in fluff-ball form.

Several varieties have been observed, including longhaired, hypoallergenic, grenade (see Addendum), and bouncy.

Addendum:
Several of SCP-2558-J have been adopted by various Foundation personnel. They have been instructed on their care and feeding, and provided with several non-startling toys and a noise-canceling speaker to help set up a quiet play area for their specimens.

SCP-2558-J has displayed the ability to distract people far more than merited by being kittens, even considering their anomalous abilities. Suggested reclassification as Euclid.

4/21/2009, Upgrade to Euclid class approved by Dr. Rights.