Oreos.

I don't know what all you fuckers are scarred about, its simple.

>Kill spider
>Eat it
>Absorb it's essence
>???
>Profit from the strength of your mortal enemy
>Spiders will soon intentionally avoid you in fear of being eaten
>Start hunting and eating spiders
>With the collective essence of a thousand spiders,the spiders will not only fear you, but respect and honor your strength
>Because of this, they will make you their king
>Never worry about spiders fucking with your shit

i just love how the first comment is "im setting myself on fire"

MFW I was just eating some Oreos and saw this.

>Eat oreo
>Absorb power and skills from spider
>Become alpha spider
>Build sexiest web
>Find largest spider female
>Fuck her
>She lays eggs half man/ half spider
>Multiply force with incest. (it's wincest you know)
>Largest army of fucking hybrid niggers
> Kill all spiders
>Conjuration increased to 57

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

I'll take your fossilised oreo spider, and raise you a spider living in this woman's ear canal.

Goodnight, FunnyJunk.

I'm so fucking done

aaaand there goes the last sacred thing on Earth

That'll teach you to eat healthier! Here, try some banana's instead...

that's right. eat the poisoned oreo

I had something like that happen once. Me and a friend were sitting in our apartment eatin oreo's while watchin football, and suddenly i felt something crawling on my hand. It was one of the tiniest bugs i'd ever seen, like an ant but 1/50th in size. We realized the bugs were INSIDE every goddamned oreo, not in the cream, but basically setting up base ON the cream and under the wafer. We had eaten approximately half of a container of oreos that were infested with tiny bugs. I have not eaten an oreo since. That was roughly 3 years ago. Thanks for making me relive it, I now have an almost compulsive need to pull apart and check my food because of that.

I just had some Oreos earlier and now I'm inducing vomiting

In recent news, Oreos sales plummeted down to 3% of original sales

Yeah sure that spider is cute and all, but wait until he sleeps with your girlfriend

poor spider thought he found the cocaine