NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE. don't TL;DR. TH E i) ISAD E CTED its a night like any other. You eat some Chinese takeout for dinner, smoke one last bowl of weed, brush yo
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NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

don't TL;DR

TH E i) ISAD E CTED
its a night like any other. You eat some Chinese takeout for dinner, smoke one last bowl of
weed, brush your teeth, nestle in your bed, and close your eyes. It is a cold December night, and
the sound of the warm air blowing out of the air ducts is a co white noise. Your mind
scrambles into dreams. You fall asleep.
in the middle ofthe night, while deep asleep, you heare sharp, percussive "barra" and sit up in
your bed. You' re a little shaken, but you’ re sure it was just a dream, a random sound in your
head. This has happened to you before. You’ re pretty sure yock' re ad about that phenomenon
somewhere, to o. No worries, you tell yourself.
After you calm yourself down, you notice that you need to piss. You walk drowsily to the bath-
room.
Your apartment consists of three rooms aligned in a row: the Wing room in the front, the
kitchen in the middle, and your bedroom (and attached bathroom) in the rear. As you piss, your
head gets noddy and you come close to falling asleep while standing up... until you hear a
rattling sound in the Airking room-
You pissing and warily walk in to investigate. The rattling stops as soon as you enter the
room, but you can tell where it ca me from: the heating yeat on the Thor. The yeat copyer must
hare been loose, you thin k, and the hot blowing air shook it around. Relieved, you stomp on the
are make sure it' s in tight, return to bed, cuddle against your pillow, and close your eyes. Your
thoughts begin to dissolve into the strange logic of dreams.
as you’ re about to slip out m' t: , you hear another rattling soundbite same
sound, but a bit louder this time. The Tent must still be loose, you figure. Annoyed at the gnop-
fortune timing of this stubborn ye ht troyer. you enter the kitchen, headed toward the living
room... only to find that the rattling is com' ing from inside the kitchen this time- As before, it
stops as soon as you enter the room, but it is clear that the rattle ca me from the vent beneath
the kitchen table. You crawl underlie table, pound on the vent with a fist, and return to bed.
The ye nts stay quiet, and you fall asleep. But before long, you are awakened by an other rattling
harsh, yo canerous and wow ht rattle this time. clanging and raw ging your ea moi ms.
Every muscle f' aber in your body tightens as you realize that the rattle is coming from the Tent in
the comer of your bedroom.
Your herseys are going berserk. but you muster the courage to approach the vent. As you get out
of bed and stand up, you notice that your brain is trying, desperately, to force you back into
sleep. Drea divisions flicker unco unrollable across the theatre screen behind your eyeballs. Your
ears begin to ring.
am you are still . With wild, dilated pupils, you fight through the onslaught of nascent
nightmares and approach the Vent. The rattle crescent into a shattering that see ms to fill both
your apartment and your mind. Your flight instinct wants you to run out of the apartment and
never, Ever, return. but an implacable force deep within compels you towards the yeat. You
kneel before t You grip its edges with your finnerty . You lift it- You look inside. at is phone.
...
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Submitted: 04/29/2012
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Comments(113):

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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #1 - flatulance (04/29/2012) [-]
yea but who was VENT?
#21 - rachelraptorrar (04/30/2012) [-]
MFW anticipating what was in the vent.
User avatar #30 - ianclimber (04/30/2012) [-]
when you sober up you think "the **** was in that weed?"
#102 - strikethree (04/30/2012) [-]
The highest form of trolling. I commend you, OP
#80 - jple (04/30/2012) [-]
thought it was gunna be the moster from lach ness asking for tree fiddy
thought it was gunna be the moster from lach ness asking for tree fiddy
User avatar #27 - NexusSeven (04/30/2012) [-]
Well done OP you win...this round.
#13 - zilvboom (04/30/2012) [-]
D:
D:
#3 - thundagawd (04/30/2012) [-]
Oh god, this is singlehandedly the funniest thing I've seen this week XD
Thumbs for you good sir XD
User avatar #86 - dppwrestler (04/30/2012) [+] (1 reply)
BUT WHO WAS PHONE?!?!?!?!
#78 - EdwardNigma ONLINE (04/30/2012) [-]
#120 - xalim (05/01/2012) [-]
Funniest thing I've seen all day.
#41 - anonymous (04/30/2012) [+] (1 reply)
I don't get it .... I feel stupid now

#45 to #41 - steelplatypus (04/30/2012) [-]
It's a reference to a 4chan post.
pic related, it's the post
#71 - dabearcat (04/30/2012) [+] (3 replies)
Congrats. You got me
Congrats. You got me
#52 - masretals (04/30/2012) [-]
but who was phone?
#23 - mrchrisrawks (04/30/2012) [+] (1 reply)
**mrchrisrawks rolled a random image posted in comment #3 at A Knight's Tale ** <mfw when reading.
#35 - nggod (04/30/2012) [-]
*************					 hilarious
************* hilarious
#10 - onyxv (04/30/2012) [+] (1 reply)
Comment Picture

#76 - ApolluxNivlac (04/30/2012) [+] (1 reply)
HOLY **** THAT WAS THE SCARIEST THING I'VE SOON ON FJ EVER!!!!! I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO SLEEP FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!

#16 - captaindropkik (04/30/2012) [-]
BUT WHO WAS VENT
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