None of this scares me because:
I don't go out (I'm forever alone
I don't drive, and I always sit in the back seat like a champ
I don't trick or treat (I just scare little kids with my friends
Again, don't drive, so the slashing thing can't happen
The baby one is kinda funny
And I don't use public restrooms, for fear of getting incurable ass STDs, or public phones, because I have no fucking clue how to work those things (I'm retarded like that)
I love all your other posts though.