Animal myths 3 (rp). So now I put these up now, i know they all arent morbid, but I had a lot ask me to put these up. And yes of course I am advertising my busi
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Animal myths 3 (rp)

So now I put these up now, i know they all arent morbid, but I had a lot ask me to put these up.
And yes of course I am advertising my business, so if you wanna buy a custom made pokemon card wallet, go here:
www.facebook.com/PokemonCardWallets

Animal Myths 3
A young woman was at the beach one day and she thought she felt a
bug in her ear, she couldn' t find anything, so forgot about it. A few
days later she went to see a doctor because of a severe ear ache, he
checked her out and decided she must have an earwig- a small bug
deep in her inner ear. He said it was too deep to remove, she' d have
to wait for it to come out the other side. A few weeks later she found
a nasty looking bug on her pillow, put it in a jar and took it to the
doctor to see if that was it. He said it was, but the bad news is it was
a female and it had laid eggs.
Echo
If a duck is standing on the edge of a cave or cliff facing another
cliff and quacks, it will not echo.
The Dog' s Dinner
an authentic Chinese meal. In the restaurant they couldn' t make
any sense of the menu, so they tried to get the waiter to decide using
hand signals and expressions. They also needed some scraps for
their poodle, who went with them everywhere. The waiter finally
seemed to get the idea, and took the dog into the back. In a little
while, the waiter returned to their table with the and
roasted.
Loyal Dog
A man and his wife have a little baby. One day, the man is caring for
the baby while his wife is out shopping and he hears a noise outside.
He leaves his dog to watch over the baby while he goes out to see what
the problem is. After chasing off a man, the man goes back inside to
find the baby crib full with blood and the dog under the crib with
blood all over its muzzle. Thinking that the dog killed his baby, the
man becomes enraged and kills the animal with a baseball bat. Only
then does he look on the other side of the crib. There he finds his
baby lying on the floor dead, a knife in one hand and some kind of
alien communication device in the other. The couple' s baby had been
replaced by a hostile extraterrestrial civilization, and would have
killed the man upon his return had it not been for the brave actions
of his loyal dog.
when i first read this i thought it was bullshit. Then i saw there were
reports of this happening in 1960 and family claimed til the day they
died that that is what happened. Not only that, but an autopsy it
showed that the baby had organs different from humans.)
no i Klimt have the reprint i made this a while back and its not on the other one either. just mil with the turtur.
Spiders
On average, people will eat 8 spiders each year just in there sleep.
Not to mention the amount of spiders that are accidently put in the
food you eat.
Stomach aches
The father of a teenage girl was growing more and more worried
that his little girl' s stomach seemed to be growing. Over and over
she swore she couldn' t be pregnant but her father was suspicious
because of how much time the girl was at the beach. Finally he took
her to the hospital when she started complaining about stomach
pain. The doctor confirmed she wasn' t pregnant, it appeared to be a
tumor or growth of some kind, he said an operation was necessary
immediately. Octopus eggs are microscopic, and they assumed the
girl must have swallowed some while swimming.
Depressed dog
A young man was waiting in the nightrise apartment of his new
girlfriend waiting as she finished getting ready for their date and he
decided to play with her frisky little dog. He began throwing the
ball for the dog and accidentally bounced it out and over the
balcony, without a thought the dog followed. The man had no idea
what to do or say when his date came out of the bathroom ready to
go, she didn' t seem to notice the dog' s absence. At dinner the man
commented "You know, your dog seemed a little depressed this
evening."
Most of these myths came from warphead. com
...
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Views: 76244
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Submitted: 06/24/2012
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Comments(384):

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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#1 - ICanThePowerr (06/24/2012) [+] (10 replies)
I can't imagine hitting my dog with a baseball bat ;_;
#62 - bluemotherfingoak (06/25/2012) [-]
How horrifying!
User avatar #5 - northyrn (06/24/2012) [-]
If you swallowed octopus eggs they would be broken up by the stomach acid. But if she had a wide gaping vagina....
User avatar #103 - fantomen (06/25/2012) [+] (7 replies)
Ok, let's debunk these fuckers.
1 bug in the ear.
It's not possible for a bug to crawl into your inner ear, because your eardrums are in the way. And even if you (like me) had your eardrums blown out by an explosion the bug can't crawl in one ear and out the other, because the ears aren't connected that way.

2 A duck's quack doesn't echo.
It does, it's been proven several times. Including one time when they brought ducks into cathedrals.

3 dog for dinner. this is an old one. it's been around since like the 50s.
of course it's possible, but it's likely just a myth.

4 loyal dog.
Ok, here's an interesting one. It's based on the true story of Guinefort the dog.
Back in France during the 13th century a knight decided to leave his dog guarding his baby while he went hunting for the day.
When he returned from the hunt, he found the baby was not in it's crib and the house and the dog covered in blood. Naturally he though the dog had eaten his baby, so he took his sword and cut the dogs head off. After the dog died he hear the cries of his baby from the other room. When he investigated he found the baby unharmed along with a large dead snake that the dog had killed. When he realized that he had killed his dog for protecting his baby he was distraught. He went to the church to apologize to God. But when the priests heard about it they made the dog a saint. Saint Guinefort protector of children.

4. you're not likely to eat bugs in your sleep, unless you count inhaling microscopic mites. But on the other hand if a small spider was to fall into your pot of pasta sauce. How would you know?

5. this is complete bullshit. Octopus eggs aren't microscopic, and need perfect conditions and constant care to survive and hatch. They would instantly die in the hostile conditions of your stomach. There are however parasites which can cause things similar to the myth. Sleep tight.

5. this is an old joke. I've seen it in like 2 TV shows and a move. Probably just bullshit.
User avatar #27 - cyannat (06/24/2012) [+] (3 replies)
The ears aren't connected, so it couldn't possibly come out the other side without killing the girl.
User avatar #147 - cinematicbrix (06/25/2012) [+] (8 replies)
The bug one is complete bullshit.

What the hell, "you'll have to wait for it to come out on the other side"?
THE FUCK is wrong with that doctor?
#351 - agooodname (06/25/2012) [+] (1 reply)
elderly couple takes a trip around the world and brings along their dog, thats total bullshit
elderly couple takes a trip around the world and brings along their dog, thats total bullshit
User avatar #355 to #351 - nucularwar (06/25/2012) [-]
yeah, who the fuck brings their dog to China? that's just asking for it.
#4 - yoandrefj (06/24/2012) [-]
guys face when he saw the dogs muzzle covered in blood
#130 - paulohd (06/25/2012) [-]
The baby alien one seems legit.
#271 - thatguycrow (06/25/2012) [-]
First one: i have a bug in my ear, ill have to wait for it to come out the other side
User avatar #253 - Sicsin (06/25/2012) [+] (3 replies)
Jesus, most of the myths up to this one were at least semi-believable. This stuff is just horse shit. Yeah, a fucking doctor is going to tell you to wait for an earwig (which don't crawl into people's ears) to come out THE OTHER FUCKING SIDE. Just wait for the damn thing to eat through both eardrums and your brain, it'll be fine.
#284 - Digitalphear ONLINE (06/25/2012) [+] (4 replies)
This image has expired
Oh, so the baby was replaced by a hostile extraterrestrial civilization. I get it now.

Because when we're visited by aliens, the first thing they do is mess with our crops, then impersonate themselves as infants to discover all our secrets.

Myths: 1
Logic: -957473798347
#268 - ijiek (06/25/2012) [+] (1 reply)
the last one is like something out of a romantic comedy
#137 - zaccc (06/25/2012) [+] (1 reply)
When I was in grade 10, so 15 years old, I woke up to a "scratching" in my ear. It kinda felt like when you have water stuck in your ear, except a lot more annoying. This was about 3am in the morning and I coudln't get back to sleep. Decide to have a shower to try make me sleepy, and I start tilting my head so whatever is in my ear will fall out.
It turned out to be a huntsman spider. A fucking spider, in my ear.
Of course, I'm from Australia :|
Pic related, that's a Huntsman...
#24 - supersaiyangoku (06/24/2012) [+] (10 replies)
at the dog one's
at the dog one's
#65 - dontcutmyusernameo (06/25/2012) [+] (1 reply)
seriously?
the last one is from a fucking ashton kutcher movie
just married
or something like that
#51 - elatedmonkey (06/25/2012) [-]
Yeah, because the octopus eggs would just thrive in a stomach full of Gastric acid.
#240 - baxterthefuture (06/25/2012) [+] (3 replies)
The one about the dog actually comes from an old Scottish tale about a noble who left his dog to look after his wife and child as he fought in a battle. The dog was displeased that the man left him because he always went everywhere with him. On the man's return he found the dog lying next to his babies crib with blood all over his mouth and the crib empty and stained. The man was so angry he drew his sword and killed his dog, thinking he had killed the baby. He then noticed the dead body of a wolf with bite marks on its neck, an heard a baby squealing in the next room. The dog had saved the babies life from the wolf. The man buried his best friend and ordered that when he died he was buried next to his companion.
The one about the dog actually comes from an old Scottish tale about a noble who left his dog to look after his wife and child as he fought in a battle. The dog was displeased that the man left him because he always went everywhere with him. On the man's return he found the dog lying next to his babies crib with blood all over his mouth and the crib empty and stained. The man was so angry he drew his sword and killed his dog, thinking he had killed the baby. He then noticed the dead body of a wolf with bite marks on its neck, an heard a baby squealing in the next room. The dog had saved the babies life from the wolf. The man buried his best friend and ordered that when he died he was buried next to his companion.
#352 - grimsho (06/25/2012) [-]
Earwigs do not go in ears. They are named so because in the 1800's and whatnot when everyone was wearing wigs, the earwigs would crawl inside of them because they were warm, and perfect spots for nesting. Then when the men would pick up their wigs and put them on, the earwigs would fall out, seemingly falling from the person's ears.
User avatar #247 - BrotherDeath (06/25/2012) [-]
Seems totally legit.

By the way, the spiders one is bullshit; spiders have a survival instinct as much as any animal, and crawling into a sleeping monster's mouth obviously goes against this.
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