Why I Masturbate

That is so damn true... And then there are the times when you accidentally pinch the wrong thing and true pain ensues.

That feel when you try to pinch but end up squeezing a ball accidentally instead.

i dont even have balls but i can imagine that would be fucking painful

I know this is a really stupid question but what is it like to have balls? Like, is the expression "Hot as balls" as in "It's hot as balls in here" a real thing? Do balls even get hot? And why pinch and roll instead of itching? If you don't wanna go into this just ignore it but as a girl I've always been really curious about balls. Sorry for the long ass post.

People also say "old as balls" and that's incredibly variable.
If balls got too hot, they would be pointless, seeing as the only point in having balls outside of the body is to stop sperm from overheating and dying.
And asking what it's like to have balls is like asking what it's like to have a vagina. It can't really be explained because we've just always had balls, so we can't really draw a comparison.
And as per the pinch and roll, it's because you really, REALLY do not want to just jam you fingers against your testicles. That would hurt like high holy hell.

Happy?

Thank you :) Also, how do guys not sit on their balls? Do they just sit in your lap when you sit or do you sit on them? I'm sorry to ask so many questions but it's really interesting. And, is the expression, "freezing my balls off" true? Can you really freeze balls off?

I don't know about most guys, seeing as I wear briefs. Keeps 'em nice and snugly in place. And with enough cold you can freeze anything off, so yes, you can freeze your balls off if you're determined.

Thank you again aldheim. Another stupid question, is there a real difference between briefs and boxers? They look relatively the same. And what are boxerbriefs? Is it just a combination of the two or some new thing entirely? And another thing, do balls feel anything other than pain? I've always heard how bad it is for guys to get kicked there and your previous comment indicated that touching them to hard would hurt also. Sorry, that's probably rather personal but some guys would probably be offended by my curiosity

Meh, I enjoy having a conversation that isn't an argument for once.
And, to my definition of the word, boxers are large, basically the size of shorts, loose and tend to be silky.
Briefs, however, are small and (comparatively) tight, and they actually support your package. Boxers and Briefs are kind of like Swimming shorts and Speedos.
I have no idea what boxerbriefs are.
Balls do feel things other than pain, but are fucking sensitive, due to the primary instinct to protect the reproductive capabilities. Not only does it hurt (which isn't the worst part) when you get kicked in the balls but it makes you want to vomit.

Vomit? Seriously? I'm glad I've never hit anyone there, it seems awful rude. Last question I think :) Why do guys wear cups on their man parts when they do sports? I've heard that they strap cups on to protect themselves. That seems rather odd that they'd put on cups over their junk.

I'm assuming you don't know that a cup is the name for a specially designed piece of sports equipment that exists solely to protect men's balls. Better safe than sorry, after all.

Oh, ok :) not like a cup to drink out of, but like a cup that is supposed to go there. :) So Glad! Would be rather unsanitary to drink from a cup that has balls in it, no? Thank you so much for your consideration and information :) I'm sure you know everything you need to know but if you ever have any question about um lady parts feel free to ask :) I do owe you. Thanks again :)

Can you imagine that?
"Hey Dave, does your drink taste funny?"
"Uh, yeah mate, it kinda does."
"Oi Matt! What'd you do to the drinks?"
"Nothin'."
"Well they taste fucking funny mate."
"Well me and Gazza were using the cups during rugby practise..."

That would disgustingly hilarious.
And after hours upon hours upon hours.... like seriously a longer period of time than can possibly be considered healthy.... of watching porn and some Biology lessons I think I know everything I care to about that XD

Haha, that's fucking funny :) and maybe I should watch more porn :) then I wouldn't need to ask a complete stranger about male genitalia

Well, it couldn't hurt.
Unless you stick something too big up there, or sprain your wrist or something. But it probably wont hurt.

I do not understand :)

Well based on the assumption that you'd masturbate during porn I meant it could hurt if you put something up your vagina that was too large and... fuckin' stretched it I guess is the right word, or if you sprained your wrist from going too fast or for too long or whatever.

Oh :) understood. And I never actually penetrate when I um get myself off because it seems awfully rude to make any guy I sleep with have to fuck a loose hole. :) no penetration = much more tight :D

Fair enough I suppose. Although if you think about what that thing is designed for, it's a pretty frickin' elastic.... thing. Man, English needs more words for random conversations like this.

I know right? :) This should probably be a private conversation haha

Haha, all the poor random people who have to put up with this long ass conversation about balls and masturbation...

Yeah, I feel rather awful about it :/ I apologize to everyone who is reading this long ass convo :( It was rather inconsiderate and it won't happen again :)

Actually, it was quite entertaining to read

I feel like a stalker in a bush reading this thread

Why did I read this whole conversation...?

Actually this conversation was damn interesting and answered questions I had as a female also.
Oh and as far as your masturbation deal goes... I don't think you get looser if you just use one or two fingers.

The best conversation I have read on this site... and oddly the most normal.

im rather aroused by the whole thing actually...

@msvegeta. Are you sure? I wouldn't want to push it too far. I mean, I know it is supposed to stretch and what not but what if it doesn't stretch back to normal? Thank you for the information :)

actually I found reading this a fun time waster xD have a good one

in regards to your masturbation question below to msvegeta, you'd have to masturbate furiously and frequently to really loosen your vagina. personally, clitoral stimulation gets me off and i retain my tightness in doing so. i recommend you try it out :) i mean that smiley in the most innocent way that a smiley can be meant amongst female masturbation questions hahaaha

NOW KISS!

Good night everyone on this thread :) sweet dreams

As per your q about getting looser, I'm super tight, so I can only put 2 fingers in comfortably. I haven't personally noticed it getting looser after doing that. Like, it hasn't ever gotten easier to fit more than that in.
If you think about it, if you're not stretching, then you won't get looser. So if 1 finger is comfortable and there's no strain, then you're not stretching, and you won't get looser.

No, seriously, it was.

this thread was as funny as the post. and a hell of a good read

I enjoyed this conversation lol!!
As for apologizing, don't. It's funnyjunk.... It's got junk in the name.

For the record. Penetration during masturbation before you reach ejaculation (hella rhymes) Or just penetration in general will not permanently stretch the vajhyina contrary to popular belief.

Thank you :) I'll try it some time

The vagina is only 4 inches deep but can stretch to about 7 inches.

7 inches sounds painful. 1 finger will do :)

you don't wear a cup when you play rugby...

Whoops.

s'alright

They had a study, and apparently, getting kicked in the nuts is higher on the pain scale than child birth.

i read its equal to giving birth to 160 kids and breaking up to 3200 bones. both at the same time.

I really don't understand how there can be a pain scale that bridges both child birth and ball pain because no body can both birth a child and get kicked in the balls :/ It's rather confusing no?

I think they measure how much pain the nerves send to the brain... I'm not sure how, but I think there's some chemical they track

That entire thing was bs. Pain is relative, it can't be objectively measured.

Ha just read that whole conversation. But, boxerbriefs are basically briefs with leg lengths like boxers.

If this is bothering you I can just google my questions. I am truly sorry if I've made uncomfortable, but I'm just not comfortable asking any of my male friends about this. A total stranger might laugh at my stupidity for a few seconds. A friend may laugh at my stupidity for months :P

I have very little shame, especially over the Internet.

It would be very painful to sit on them, and they aren't big enough to hold them in our lap. If a men is naked, or freeballin', or doesn't wear briefs, the balls just sit on the same surface as the ass, in between the legs. That's why men sit with legs apart, and most of us are uncomfortable siting with legs crossed.

I've sat on my balls twice today. They're not SUPER sensitive like the actual dong, but get sore when you touch 'em too hard. Sitting on them hurts like a motherfucker. And yeah, having balls is silly. They just kinda dangle there. They hang out I guess.

well, feel free to study my balls any time. if you happen to have any questions why studying feel free to ask any question i can probably answer it.

How is it to have boobs or a vagina?

Having a vagina is actually not that noticeable. I honestly don't really think about my vagina at all during a day to day basis. However, if I get turned on during class everything gets really slippery. When I walk around I feel the wetness and it feels like... Have you ever soaped up your armpit and moved it back and forth? That's what it is like. And it aches a little. Like a deep pulling all the way up that is intensely pleasureful to almost pain. During sex my vagina generally just feels fuuuuuull. It's comfortable and feel just right. When I'm um... going through my monthly lady problem it's extremely sensitive and gets turned on at random which aches. But when I'm menstrating and not turned on it hurts. Feels like someone is taking a potatoe peeler to my ovaries and uterus

To be completely honest, having boobs can sometimes be extremely fun and other times be so annoying. Like, they really bump up my self esteem because I know guys like them. When I'm wearing a low cut shirt and I notice a guy looking it can be a rush. I honestly don't mind if a guy stares at them because that is what they are there for; however, they kind of get really annoying. When I eat and something drops of the fork I end up having food on or in my cleavage. It becomes a boob shelf covered with food :P When I lean over a tub of water when mopping I sometimes end up dipping my entire breast in water before I realize it. Sometimes they even knock things over :P. It'd be like having two giant cocks. The opposite sex likes your fun, bouncy appendages, but they get in the way a lot. Also, sometimes boobs hurt. Like, sometimes my boobs will ache if they don't get played with often enough. Understand?

Sounds fun. I'm sure big boobs can be annoying. :D

I lolled at i've always been curious about balls

I thought I was the only one!

i cant feel my ribs oh god

BEST ROLL EVER

Thanks :D

The fuck...?

Lol that scene was hilarious, Emi wanted to try anal.
pic related (it's also Katawa Shoujo)

Brb leaving life forever.

WTF !

Oh god yes!

thats awesome in at least 4 different ways

Hey thanks guys ! :D

Nice roll.

I already did

The tardicaca lake shark's penis is 9 inches long.

*colorado department of wildlife

Sweet roll.

Prefer this...

**NubiusMaximus rolled a random image posted in comment #1571 at Oreo Hate ** What I don't fap too.

THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST

Mfw that roll.....and when Sunset replied to me.



I respect you man......one of best commenter's ever......

Thanks mate.

You're welcome......you don't have to reply.....

I feel like a weird little fan girl....



Don't judge me ><

Nah it's fine man.

You and your reaction folder.....it's...legendary

I actually lost my original folder a few months back. Rebuilding another one because there's nothing better to do.

Sucks man. How'd that go down?

<< Still picture you with that much swag.

Long story short I forgot to recharge my computer one day and my computer crashed, making me lose my folder and some music of mine. I was mostly bothered by losing my music, though.

Some music is hard to find. People delete links, or maybe a CD broke/cracked. So I know how that feel. Reaction pictures can be sought out and searched.

Freaking chargers. Always out of reach, or in a different room xD

OP's pants

pics or it never happened

Eunhyuk!

**kevinhuse rolled a random image posted in comment #6640509 at FJ Pony Thread **
I might join in.

MFW That dude's dick was bitten off in the beginning

see, it wasnt mine or yours. your move funnyjunk.

If you don't know about this post, it's about a vagina that has teeth (hence the name) and bites off penises.