Christmas Comp #2. Here it is. PM ideas for a part III if you want one, I'm running out. -S. Christmas Comp #2 According to data from Facebook, two weeks before Christmas
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Christmas Comp #2

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Christmas Comp #2. Here it is. PM ideas for a part III if you want one, I'm running out. -S. Christmas Comp #2 According to data from Facebook, two weeks before

Here it is. PM ideas for a part III if you want one, I'm running out. -S

Tags: Christmas
Christmas Comp #2
According to data from Facebook, two weeks before Christmas
is the most popular time of year where couples break up. Christmas
day, on the other hand, is the least favorite day of breakups.
Norwegian scientists have hypothesized that Rudolph': red nose is
probably the result of a parasitic infection of his respiratory
system.
SPEEDS HIE ' llf IT
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According to the United Nations Children' s Fund (UNICEF), there are
2, 106 million children under age 18 in the world. If there are on
average 2. 5 children per household, Santa would have to make 842
million stops on Christmas Eve, traveling 221 million miles. To reach all
842 million stops, Santa would need to travel between houses in
2/ 10, 000 second, which means he would need to accelerate million
miles (20. 5 billion meters) per second on each stop. The force of this
acceleration would reduce Santa to "chunky salsa."
The earliest known Christmas tree decorations were apples. At
Christmastime, medieval actors would use apples to decorate paradise
trees (usually fir trees) during "Paradise Plays," which were plays
depicting Adam and Eve' s creation and fall
President Teddy Roosevelt, an environmentalist, banned Christmas
trees from the White House in 1912.
Early illustrations of St. Nicholas depict him as stern, commanding. and
holding a birch rod. He was more in symbol of discipline and punishment
than the jolly, overweight elf children know today.
Each year there are approximately 20, 000 ''" across the
United States. "" usually undergo seasonal training on
how to maintain a jolly attitude under' pressure from the public. They
also receive practical advice, such as not accepting money from
parents while children are looking and avoiding garlic, onions, or beans
for lunch.
Spelling or saying Christmas as "Xmas" to some Christian' s will make them
have a regions shitstorm because it takes the word "cheast" out of
Christmas".
December 26th. the day after Christmas is known to many a “Boxing boy",
29, the day where you robox and return all the shitty presents you don' t
want,
some American schools (and school districts) have and still do ban
Christmas songs from their schools, mostly because of the religious
backgrounds behind some songs. Christmas songs and their legality brings
into question the first Amendment with the statement "Congress shall not
pass no law respecting an establishment of religion”.
There are 240 Christmas tree related fires every year in the United
States.
for a third and
final Christmas comp
100% ZONE
...
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Views: 43758 Submitted: 12/16/2013
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[ 174 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
#51 - ofmiceandmen
Reply +63 123456789123345869
(12/16/2013) [-]
2,106 million.

Just say 2 billion God damnit.
#106 to #51 - anon id: 541ed562
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/17/2013) [-]
Then the math wouldn't be that exact
User avatar #110 to #51 - hlgrindstaff
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/17/2013) [-]
But don't a lot of Europeans use commas instead of periods?
#161 to #110 - bann
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/17/2013) [-]
It's not that, it's the fact that he wrote "Two thousand, one hundred and six million". While most can understand that, it's impractical to write it that way and would make more sense and 2.1 billion
User avatar #112 to #51 - irhaddy
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/17/2013) [-]
Also children who are Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu etc would have to be discounted from the number of trips as they do not celebrate Christmas.
User avatar #162 to #112 - nigeltheoutlaw
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/17/2013) [-]
I thought the fat man gave everyone presents?
User avatar #140 to #51 - retardedboss
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/17/2013) [-]
also "2/10,000 of a second"? why not say 1/5.000?
User avatar #1 - falleone
Reply +43 123456789123345869
(12/16/2013) [-]
The X-mas one is funny because it shows ignorance to your own religion. Christmas comes from two words one latin and one greek. The X is the chi symbol in greek which is the first letter of the greek word Christ (completely untypable because of non english characters) and has been associated to the word Christ.
User avatar #30 to #1 - kiberz
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/16/2013) [-]
Came here to say this. My mom was always against "Xmas" until I told her this. Learned it at a Christian youth convention actually.
User avatar #3 to #1 - falleone
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/16/2013) [-]
Also not sure if relevant but Christmas is a large day for The ER because of many visits cause by accidental self harm with scissors and the tightly closed plastic products.
User avatar #78 to #1 - lech
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/17/2013) [-]
I googled it, this is your "Christ" using greek letters

Χριστός

Hopefully, the unicode works.
#50 - lordpsycho
Reply +31 123456789123345869
(12/16/2013) [-]
"2,106 million children"
User avatar #13 - feistyoneyouare
Reply +16 123456789123345869
(12/16/2013) [-]
Boxing Day is the day following Christmas Day, when servants and tradesmen would receive gifts from their bosses or employers, known as a "Christmas box".

do people actually think it means the re-boxing gifts thing?
User avatar #15 to #13 - fromtheinternet
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/16/2013) [-]
****. I was 5 seconds behind you
User avatar #16 to #15 - feistyoneyouare
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/16/2013) [-]
was surprised that nobody had mentioned it in the comments before. Didn't realise it wasn't called boxing day in the states either.
User avatar #17 to #16 - fromtheinternet
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/16/2013) [-]
Same, I thought it was only a commonwealth thing, oh well. I shall delete my comment out of British politeness good sir.
#104 to #13 - mexicandudeinsd
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/17/2013) [-]
well to this day i thought boxing day was like a day christmas celebration related where a boxing fight would occur.... its been a lie all this time
well to this day i thought boxing day was like a day christmas celebration related where a boxing fight would occur.... its been a lie all this time
#72 - coustify
Reply +14 123456789123345869
(12/17/2013) [-]
Break-ups are so common 2 weeks before Christmas because people realize that they cant bring their fake girlfriends to a family gathering.
Break-ups are so common 2 weeks before Christmas because people realize that they cant bring their fake girlfriends to a family gathering.
#134 to #72 - ennemi
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/17/2013) [-]
or they don't want to buy gift.
User avatar #49 - temporalguardian
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(12/16/2013) [-]
I'm an atheist. I celebrate xmas. I dont even care.
#53 to #49 - xcoreyx
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(12/17/2013) [-]
Well I'm an atheist and I celebrate Christmas
User avatar #55 to #53 - temporalguardian
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/17/2013) [-]
my parents are atheist as well but they refuse to celebrate christmas, but know that it would be bad for my siblings to not have a christmas type thing, so they're inventing their own version of christmas on dec 21, but instead of using a christmas tree, they're using a real, actual palm tree that they bought and will decorate. They havent decided on what it'll be called. I'm very amused by this.
#56 to #55 - xcoreyx
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/17/2013) [-]
Well that's pretty cool. I just don't understand why people think that Christmas has to be a religious thing. I mean it's an official national holiday, so it would actually be unconstitutional to call it a religious holiday.
User avatar #170 to #55 - mrdrpage
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/17/2013) [-]
What the **** is the point your parents are trying to make?

They do it 4 days earlier with a different type of tree.

They sure showed those Christians.
User avatar #171 to #170 - temporalguardian
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/17/2013) [-]
Oh no more butt hurt christians. You had to take something interesting and lower it didnt you? let me repeat what i said in the other post, they want my younger brother and sister to not be the only children not getting presents and what not, but they didnt want it to be christmas either, so they decided to be creative and make that up, and as for the palm tree, they just decided to take the complete opposite of a christmas tree. I just plain celebrate christmas, cause why not. Now if all of you assholes could kindly **** off with your passive raging and butt hurt comments, that'd be great. I also like how i said i as an atheist celebrate christmas and get red, and the first comment below me saying the exact same thing, gets green. truely genius.
#164 to #55 - anon id: b47f87e3
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/17/2013) [-]
the "christmas" tree is actually an old tradition from the germanic/norse religion/culture. They used it in the Yule festivals which was at the same time as the christian celebrated christmas. The church changed the old Yule festivals to christmas to easier convert them. In scandinavia they still call christmas Yule/Jul.
#142 to #55 - Rei
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(12/17/2013) [-]
If they where trying to avoid Christianity references, the palm tree was a poor choice.
User avatar #45 - tenaciousjon
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(12/16/2013) [-]
W-Wait... 2.5 children..?

Oh God.
User avatar #97 - halotalim
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(12/17/2013) [-]
And now for your Christian fact of the day.

In early Christianity, openly being a Christian could get you executed so CHristians had to meet in Private. The symbol they used to represent thier faith in secret? A fish. How is fish spelt in greek, the langage much of the orginal scripture was in? IXΘφE. Each letter makes an acronyme for Jesus Christ, Son of God, Savior.

Notice what the X stands for in the acronym

Christ
Christ=X

It was not removed, Some Christians just don't understand their own history.
#101 to #97 - slysixtyfourwii
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/17/2013) [-]
Arnold Schwarzenegger in Jesus X sorry for the huge HD thing, I will commit suicide after I post this Just kidding
#123 to #97 - anon id: a47379c7
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/17/2013) [-]
I actually thought that the fish symbol was a symbol for the whale that swallowed Jonas..The more you know
User avatar #136 to #123 - halotalim
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/17/2013) [-]
Nope, in fact, when Chrstians would meet each other, to signify if they wer s=christian or not, one would draw the top curve of the fish in the sand at their feet and the other would draw the bottom with their rod or finger or foot then they would quickly wipe the symbol away before anyone saw. A secret way of identifying their faith withour tripping of an alert by guards as to what you believ in.
User avatar #103 to #97 - canoodler
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/17/2013) [-]
Darn you beat me to it. Congratulations for knowing your stuff.
#31 - kiberz
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/16/2013) [-]
If I ever have children I don't think I plan on telling them about Santa. To this day I still feel like an idiot for ever believing in him, and I think Christmas can still be just as joyful even if my kids know who's really buying the gifts. But I wouldn't want them to ruin it for anyone's kids who do believe because that's their choice.
User avatar #34 to #31 - tazzerz
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/16/2013) [-]
But then your kids might be little dicks and run around telling other kids who believe in him and love him that he's fake. I loved Santa as a kid, It added a lot to Christmas for me and my family, and it was the highlight of the year for me (And a few others I'm going to assume). There was always that little stuck-up asshole in my school who was way to mature for his age running about (Age of 7) calling other stupid for think there is a magical man who gives them everything that they ask for for Christmas if the behaved (Which is another reason to tell them he is around). And It was epic waking up seeing all the stuff laid out and just thinking that it was the best thing ever because it cost no one any money so it was completely guilt free for you. I'm going to stop ranting now, sorry.
User avatar #33 to #31 - sedativechunk [OP]
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(12/16/2013) [-]
I know Santa and thing sounds cheesy and stupid when you're an adult but there's more to it than that. If you actually have kids someday you will want them to enjoy their childhood. Part of being a kid is having an imagination and believing in things like Santa Claus. Didn't you believe in Santa when you were a kid? Maybe not, but I did when I was under 10. I used to be really excited Christmas time thinking this magical figure would come into the house to deliver presents. And my local hometown used to make it really cool, a Santa guy would parachute down from an airplane and it was really fun to get to see him. Besides that he's just part of the Christmas spirit.

Also, you gotta realize kids, even into their teens, they really don't appreciate gifts from their parents. They're just dumb kids, they don't know how the world works yet that their parents work hard for money to buy them toys. They also don't have the mental capacity to hold a secret like knowing Santa isn't real (trust me). A Santa gives it a different meaning. They think they really earned something for being good people when they get a gift from Santa for being on the nice list.

I don't have any kids of my own (and probably never will because life ***** on me when it comes to women) but I work with kids every week and have a couple nieces both under 8. If you have your own kids someday your attitude will probably change towards Santa and other things like the Easter bunny. And if you get married, your spouse will probably want your kids to have fun believing in Santa as well.
User avatar #35 to #33 - kiberz
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/16/2013) [-]
Oh no trust me, I believed the **** out of Santa. I was your typical kid. But I can also remember the exact moment I realized he wasn't real. Don't remember how old I was but it was on Christmas and I noticed on all of the tags that Santa's handwriting looked exactly like my mom's. It just sort of dawned on me right there, and everyone around me is still saying "don't forget to thank Santa!" and I had to play along. I don't know, it just stuck with me.

I understand that kids need an imagination and a "magical" childhood or whatever, but I don't see why lying has to be involved. And you're absolutely right, the flaw in my decision is my kids ultimately revealing to everyone on the playground that Santa isn't real despite whatever I tell them not to say. Of course I would also hope that my kids aren't little **** bricks but most are at that age no matter the kind of parent you are.

But I don't really know why I go on about it when I don't even really wants kids or feel responsible enough to ever have them. Just something I've always thought about in a "what if" situation.
User avatar #81 - smokedmeatlog
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(12/17/2013) [-]
Santa doesn't have to deliver to that many houses, only the Christian ones.