Upload
Login or register
x

Alpha Stories #1

 

Dear FJ,
Alpha Stories!

This is a compilation of stories where someone was behaving Alpha and related stuff.

Not today.

Also: HAPPENING
- /This+week+the+happening+2/movies/5762951



rugby man



where's the fire



cheating in the family



raped by faggot



Mr Martin is busy.


(Enlarge)

step mom

Yes, he's an edge-lord.



priorities



cucked step-dad

Sorry for not cropping that thing in the bottom right corner out, haven't noticed it until just now.


(Enlarge)

laci green

That's about those chicks that are as superficial as they tell men not to be and then failing.
In Alpha Stories #2 there'll be a bit more of that kind, as a /fit/izen - going from fat nice guy to fit - has got to know both the friendzoned and alpha-side.


(Enlarge)

considering open relationship



when she wants to be taken back


(Enlarge)

open relationship holiday



gold digger


(Enlarge)

Not real PUA*-advise, but interesting approach.

*Pick-up artist.


Tags: alpha | PUA
+1303
Views: 52701
Favorited: 230
Submitted: 12/08/2015
Share On Facebook
submit to reddit +Favorite Subscribe to joekerr Subscribe to funny

Comments(278):

Leave a comment Refresh Comments Show GIFs
123>
[ 278 comments ]
Top Rated Controversial Best Lowest Rated Newest
Anonymous comments allowed.
93 comments displayed.
Reply
+49
#2 - joekerr [OP]ONLINE (12/08/2015) [+] (6 replies)
stickied by joekerr
Previous Alpha Stories
-

All compilations:
pastebin.com/E6P2SduN
Reply
+5
User avatar #236 - admin (12/09/2015) [+] (12 replies)
stickied by joekerr
i haven't talked to another human in real life in like 6 months, live alone in a ******** and I jerk off to tranny porn all day, surrounded by used paper towels of my jizz. is that alpha?
Reply
+66
#64 - orkamungus ONLINE (12/09/2015) [-]
The one from facebook... I don't care wether this is real or not. It managed to paint a smile across my face with a warm feeling of joy and satisfaction that I haven't felt in ages. You're doing good OP, you're doing good.
Reply
0
#264 to #64 - anon (12/09/2015) [-]
The one from Facebook...
There is like 3 of them...
Reply
+9
User avatar #65 to #64 - joekerr [OP]ONLINE (12/09/2015) [-]
thank
Reply
+232
#24 - perfonator (12/08/2015) [-]
The fishing dude is the kinda guy I aspire to be.

Be chill, find something you love to do, don't care if people want to get between you and your hobby.
Reply
0
User avatar #208 to #24 - americansnoopernsa (12/09/2015) [-]
What's your hobby?
Reply
+6
User avatar #245 to #208 - damianblu (12/09/2015) [-]
getting in threesomes but people keep asking me if I want to go fishing. inconsiderate losers.
Reply
+5
#140 to #24 - anon (12/09/2015) [-]
>I've seen only one that big on this pier before
>Is this the first one?
I believe he's just a bit oblivious and simply isn't smitten by the sluts
Reply
+163
#61 - comicexplain (12/09/2015) [-]
Shout out to the guy who wanted it so bad, he used a greasy, obviously pre-opened condom that smelled distinctly like pepper juice and lubricant.
Reply
0
#96 to #61 - itskennyandjosh ONLINE (12/09/2015) [-]
GIF
**itskennyandjosh used "*roll picture*"**
**itskennyandjosh rolled image**I was expecting something silly like he used it to blow up stuff with or something, like kids would do when they see a balloon condom
Reply
+18
#106 to #104 - itskennyandjosh ONLINE (12/09/2015) [-]
Reminds me of this
Reply
0
#278 to #106 - invisifat (12/15/2015) [-]
The most painful part of that gif is that I can't tell if he missed or got the black brown gold.
Reply
+2
User avatar #111 to #61 - willindor (12/09/2015) [-]
But if it hurts so bad that you have to put ice on your wiener, shouldn't it already burn before you stick it in her cunt?
Reply
+3
User avatar #130 to #111 - comicexplain (12/09/2015) [-]
But don't you know guys would totally do anything for sex?!?
Reply
+16
User avatar #102 to #61 - chrizzle (12/09/2015) [-]
Yeah. I know for a fact that when i just got finnished ******* my best freinds boyfreind i call her to complain about the burning sensation from the pre opened Peperjuice smelling condom that her boyfreind just used on her. Jesus christ this is a ******* stupid story
Reply
+57
#62 - jengiveshead (12/09/2015) [-]
I love the fishing guy. These hoes are probably going for a hidden camera joke, but he does what he loves, I've never seen anyone that happy to catch an octopus. They are nobodies and will never have this kind of happiness, because girls suck. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore at this point, but he rules like the tunnel snakes.
Reply
0
User avatar #121 to #62 - elmirbuljubasic (12/09/2015) [-]
And he probably got threesome anyway
Reply
+8
User avatar #127 to #121 - jengiveshead (12/09/2015) [-]
He had a foursome, two girls, one guy and a squid.
Reply
+1
User avatar #178 to #62 - enlightednatzie ONLINE (12/09/2015) [-]
I love having thresomes with girls. Im a simple man with simple hobbies, like having sex with two girls at the time.
Reply
+1
#213 to #62 - anon (12/09/2015) [-]
This is why people usually rally around, but rarely respect normies
Reply
+2
#87 to #62 - anon (12/09/2015) [-]
**anonymous used "*roll picture*"**
**anonymous rolled image**how many people have you seen catch Octopi?
Reply
+24
#91 to #87 - jengiveshead (12/09/2015) [-]
Put holes in my flawed logic again, and the fish gets it.
Reply
+20
#99 - lastgentleman (12/09/2015) [-]
>cheaters getting what they deserve (male or female)
Reply
+20
User avatar #75 - mrhazzy (12/09/2015) [-]
Been in a relationship for a little over 2 months now, and usually in my relationships I try to find a middle ground that we can both agree on, but with this one, she doesn't want to make the decisions, so instead of feeling like this relationship is a "team effort" so to speak, I feel like that she's put me in charge of "keeping us in check" it's a weird feeling, but it's working, we don't argue, we get along, we have fun, and to top it off she doesn't call me "daddy" which is nice, still weird being asked to make a decision for us though.
Reply
-11
User avatar #98 to #75 - toosexyforyou (12/09/2015) [-]
Quit saying you feel weird about it you little bitch, be confident about it. She doesn't trust you to make the decision because she thinks you're an indecisive pansy.
Reply
+7
User avatar #119 to #98 - mrhazzy (12/09/2015) [-]
" She doesn't trust you to make the decision because she thinks you're an indecisive pansy."

I'm glad you read my comment, let me reiterate you illiterate **** :

I make 99% of the decisions in this relationship.

better?
Reply
+1
User avatar #156 to #119 - notanotheraccount (12/09/2015) [-]
Me and my boyfriend pretty much have the same set up, but im socially awkward and dont know how to make up my mind so its for the best.
Reply
0
User avatar #172 to #156 - mrhazzy (12/09/2015) [-]
Yeah she's a little bit the same, she wants me to make the decisions because she'll waste time Um'ing and Ah'ing about it, so she said it's easier for us If I just make the choices.
Reply
+1
User avatar #176 to #172 - notanotheraccount (12/09/2015) [-]
Then dont feel weird about it. Yall will be much happier this way
Reply
0
User avatar #240 to #119 - rattybastard ONLINE (12/09/2015) [-]
Some women are like that. My wife is like this, and also like the 2nd to last. We always talk about decisions, I value her input, but the end decision is mine. If there is an "unwinnable" argument, she defaults to me. We have something of a 50's lifestyle marriage going on, and it works for us. I work, she cooks, cleans, and takes care of our children during the day.
Reply
0
User avatar #247 to #240 - mrhazzy (12/09/2015) [-]
Yeah I understand this, but in previous relationships I always made sure that any decision that affected us was made with joint input from both of us, but in my current relationship, having her turn to me and wait for an answer is a little bit of a burden as I've never been in this situation, sure I'll get used to it.
Reply
0
User avatar #248 to #247 - rattybastard ONLINE (12/09/2015) [-]
Well, if you truly don't like it then break up and move on. This kind of behavior is usually pretty damn ingrained in the person, and yes, the burden is on you. It will always be on you, and your decision always needs to be as non selfish as possible, as unless you make a complete dick decision, she will go with it. It can cause complications, and you will always be backtracking and thinking about your decisions and if was the best for both of you. This last sentence will matter more the longer you are with her though, so maybe its not a big deal yet.
Reply
0
User avatar #252 to #248 - mrhazzy (12/09/2015) [-]
It's not that I don't like it, I'm just not used to it.
Reply
-5
User avatar #177 to #119 - toosexyforyou (12/09/2015) [-]
Nice reading comprehension, idiot
Reply
0
#212 to #177 - anon (12/09/2015) [-]
You need to work on your sentence structure, you jackanape.
Reply
+38
User avatar #63 - JHoYouKnow (12/09/2015) [-]
Man, the advice one is really ****** ... hahahah
Reply
+4
User avatar #97 to #63 - itskennyandjosh ONLINE (12/09/2015) [-]
Well it is true, people don't change, they may say they have but really, they only change a little tiny bit, someone cheats on you, they'll do it again, someone cheats in the past, they'll cheat on you
Reply
+4
#219 to #97 - anon (12/09/2015) [-]
People change ridiculous amounts, we are the least pre-programmed out of all the animal kingdom. Humans change massive amounts daily. That said, we are terrible at deliberate change, we tend to randomly drift. I mean sure, you can say you will become more outgoing and take steps every day to become that, but it's hard as **** . Although if you talk to more and more strangers around you cause your bored and become a socialite, it's easy. If someone randomly becomes a cheater, deliberately becoming a not-cheater will be difficult. I mean it can be done, but just like all difficult things I wouldnt trust a sole out there to do it, we are lazy creatures by nature. If you trust someone completely though, and they say theyll do a thing, who are you to say they 'cant' or 'wont'.
Reply
+7
User avatar #149 to #97 - talldumbdork (12/09/2015) [-]
Eh I gotta disagree with that statement. Too absolute. I do think people can change, and some people can't. You hear the horror stories all the time of second chances, but we don't hear as many stories of people that worked through drama. I do believe it happens, but it is a case by case basis.
Reply
0
#211 to #97 - anon (12/09/2015) [-]
People change if they want to. It's pretty difficult to make someone change. They have to internalize the desire. Even then, it can take some time, unless it's one of those rare instances where something so traumatic/shocking/unexpected happens that it creates essentially an overnight change.
Reply
+16
User avatar #7 - kafrikon (12/08/2015) [-]
i fukken love you joekerr. An unstoppable compile mastah.
Reply
+4
User avatar #10 to #7 - joekerr [OP]ONLINE (12/08/2015) [-]
HAPPENING is over for now

<3
Reply
+28
#59 - xskullgirlsx (12/08/2015) [-]
This guy has the balls to finish the game too

Heh
Reply
+1
#218 to #59 - anon (12/09/2015) [-]
Btw. he didn't win the game:

"Roughly 20 minutes into the match, he was caught at the bottom of a rather aggressive ruck, and an errant French boot found its way into Shelford's groin, somehow ripping his scrotum and leaving one testicle hanging free. He also lost four teeth in the process. Incredibly, after discovering the injury to his scrotum, he calmly asked the physio to stitch up the tear and returned to the field before a blow to his head left him concussed. He was substituted and watched the remainder of the game from the grandstand where he witnessed the All Blacks lose 16–3. To this day Shelford has no memory of the game."
Reply
+2
User avatar #171 to #59 - infernis (12/09/2015) [-]
There's a fine line between alpha and stupid, though. This guy's crossed it.
Reply
+8
#84 - arolexion (12/09/2015) [-]
GIF
That gold digger one
-2
#110 to #84 - adasha has deleted their comment [-]
Reply
0
User avatar #272 to #110 - nerozerohero (12/10/2015) [-]
Jesus, the cringe.
Reply
+6
#67 - originalsss (12/09/2015) [-]
Those cheating stories makes me a bit worried about my own long distance relationship since she's at a party college town

Give me some input fj
Reply
0
User avatar #77 to #67 - dehnoobshow ONLINE (12/09/2015) [-]
How long have you been together?
Reply
0
#83 to #67 - arolexion (12/09/2015) [-]
#70
^ He's right you know..
Reply
0
User avatar #235 to #67 - newfeliperuiz (12/09/2015) [-]
I got out of a long distance relationship in April. She moved 300 miles away for college and said that she didn't feel like she could deal with the distance anymore.
I have to reason to believe she was cheating or is seeing anyone else now. She lives off campus with her father and step-mother and she was raised with good values. She always told me about guys who tried to hit on her (she got a lot of attention even in my hometown) and she always let them know she was in a relationship. The only guy who couldn't take the hint was an ex-coworker who lived up the road from her dad, but they don't really talk since she left her old job.

Have some faith in your girlfriend, and have some faith in yourself. Your girlfriend probably loves you too much to run around behind your back. I don't know your exact situation, but not every girl is a slut. And if it helps you sleep tonight, every girl I know who has ended a relationship by cheating, two of my ex-girlfriends included, say it's their biggest regret and they live with it forever.
Reply
0
User avatar #147 to #67 - trolljunkusa (12/09/2015) [-]
>Thinking a girl will be loyal through college

when she finally gets her degree and has ridden chad thundercocks 12 inch joystick 1000 times, she'll finally want to end the long distance part, move in with you, and live in your house and use all your finances
Reply
+1
User avatar #101 to #67 - carlonord (12/09/2015) [-]
Hey hey hey, I'm gunna tell you this right now, long distance is one of the dumbest things you can do. "We can make it work"

No you ******* can't, be prepared to break up at any moment and expect that at some point it will happen.

This is simply the reality that I have seen, every, single, long distance relationship go through. No trend breakers, ever, that I've seen.

You might hold on and say that it only fails because people hear that it will and believe it. But no, that's not why, people just find others or get bored. Its sad, its stupid, and its weak. But its what I've seen every time.
Reply
+1
User avatar #204 to #67 - internetexplain (12/09/2015) [-]
the reality of it is that it doesn't work

you may end up lucky and it works out for you, but I wouldn't bet on it.
Reply
+2
User avatar #169 to #67 - notanotheraccount (12/09/2015) [-]
It depends. Some women are perfectly fine with no dick and a lackin connection, which is the unfortunate truth with distanced relationships. Most women can not. I feel bad saying it, but even my eyes strayed a little when I was in that kinda relationship Im VERY big on monogamy, so it was weird finding another man attractive while i was with somebody . Sometimes it can start to feel like it isnt real.
Long distance is hard and it KILLS your trust. That little bit of worry can easily turn into worrying every time she doesnt call/text you back, or leaves for classes. If she parties a lot, itd probably be best for your sanity to break it off. If you are able to see her a lot in person and she doesnt party often, it may be worth the worry. Most long distance relationships end after you meet up and there isnt distance anymore, because the relationship or the person werent the same as they were. Its a choice riskier than marriage. Dont take anything people tell you lightly, and consider all options, it may just save the relationship.
Reply
+2
User avatar #179 to #67 - enlightednatzie ONLINE (12/09/2015) [-]
Shes riding tyrone bro.

t. expert relaionship advisor
Reply
+5
#167 to #67 - anon (12/09/2015) [-]
Oh man look at all these pricks who think every girl is a cheater. It's ridiculous.

I know a couple successfull LDRs, one of them are married and have kids now.
Listening to a bunch of guys online is the worst thing you can do.
Reply
+3
User avatar #206 to #67 - joekerr [OP]ONLINE (12/09/2015) [-]
Just assume you're in a open relationship but no one said it

No, kidding, but if you have doubts you shouldn't ignore those. On the other hand, if you trust her, just trust her.
Reply
+22
User avatar #70 to #67 - hateandwhiskey (12/09/2015) [-]
she's probably screaming someone else's name right now.
Reply
+6
User avatar #80 - ampharosrules ONLINE (12/09/2015) [-]
I like the last one. Smooth as **** while not pushing any boundaries.
Reply
+6
#76 - psychadelicace (12/09/2015) [-]
Show this comp to a Beta an he will turn straight Alpha
Reply
0
User avatar #189 to #76 - seekerofdank (12/09/2015) [-]
leave "My Hero" running in the background while you're at it
Reply
+11
#53 - anon (12/08/2015) [-]
Boy is she lucky he was actually cheating, cause otherwise she would have just been a horrible bitch. However, that's delightfully cruel.
Reply
+5
User avatar #56 to #53 - joekerr [OP]ONLINE (12/08/2015) [-]
Pretty sure it's fake, but yes. If he hadn't, she would have had fire down there.
Reply
+5
User avatar #183 - VikiIsAwsum (12/09/2015) [-]
that last guy... I understand he and his wife have a good relationship but the only thing I disagree with is him saying he is 'in charge'. Marriage is a partnership and needs to be treated as such. The way he speaks about 'correcting' her makes me uneasy. Probably just the word choice

maybe just me
Reply
+1
User avatar #223 to #183 - hwaraam (12/09/2015) [-]
Well, *correcting* her actually sounds like he is teaching a bad puppy to behave.

But maybe he didnt find a good synonim, and he was actually teaching her how to be rational and normal ie a man in mind
Reply
+1
User avatar #232 to #183 - SuperHyperCrazy (12/09/2015) [-]
No I'm with you. His number 4, 6, and 7 are all kind of ****** up.
Reply
+1
User avatar #237 to #183 - hoponthefeelstrain (12/09/2015) [-]
well he wants a submissive wife so I'm sure he doesn't want a partnership.
Reply
+1
User avatar #242 to #183 - rattybastard ONLINE (12/09/2015) [-]
It really depends on the relationship. Some women prefer the 50's style of running things. Believe it or not, there are submissive women out there who likes a guy to take charge. I honestly think he has worded it weird. It came across to me as they both discuss it, fight about if need be, but in the end he has the final say, being the man of the relationship.
Reply
+5
#27 - sodaddict (12/08/2015) [-]
mfw facebook step-mom
Reply
+4
User avatar #190 - thedungeonmaster (12/09/2015) [-]
The open relationship on vacation one is probably the best example of why women should never take advice from women.
123>
[ 278 comments ]
Leave a comment
<
>
 Friends (0)