So, I went to get this two pizzas, and on the way home, I thought of an old joke from South America...
The king of France made a riddle and whoever can answer correctly would be able to marry his beautiful daughter. People came from everywhere: princes, priests, and all the wise men, single or not. But not even the most intelligent there was could figure it out.
Meanwhile, a peasant was coming home carrying an extra-large pizza and the royal guards decided to take him to the King because that peasant was the only one in the whole kingdom who had not yet tried to answer the riddle.
When he entered the royal court, the peasant came face to face with the King while still holding his extra-large pizza. The King then pointed a finger at him. The peasant pointed 2 fingers. The King pointed 3 fingers and the peasant pointed 4. The King pointed 5 fingers. The peasant closed his hand and showed him his fist. The King then spilled water on the ground. And the peasant lifted his pizza on the air.
The King said: "Bravo, you got it right!"
The peasant was happy as it could be and left to shower and shave to the wedding. Those who saw the strange scene approached the King and asked what was the answer of this so difficult riddle that neither the priests and sages could get right.
The king got up from his throne and explained. "I said there were only 1 god in the world, he said there were 2. I said there were 3 gods, he said there were 4. I said there were 5 gods, he said that these 5 gods became one. And I poured water on the ground, symbolizing their power on earth. And the peasant symbolized their strength, lifting up his pizza as if it was a rock”
Everyone was amazed at the King's creativity. Understanding the meaning being the riddle, they went to ask the peasant how an illiterate managed to answer such a riddle. The peasant stopped shaving, put the razor in the sink and answered:
"The King said that he could put 1 finger up my ass, and I said would put 2. He then said he could put 3 fingers, I said I would put 4. He said that he could put 5 fingers into my ass. I said my whole arm was going up his. The King said he would make blood come out of my ass. I said I would leave his ass the size of my pizza."
What? You thought I had not brought two big pizzas in the passenger seat, with seat belts and everything, while running in the 90's to not eat cold pizza?
Happy Weekend, bitches!