(untitled). . c) gladius. c) gladius. hahahaha you came out of a vagina bisection mar You were never burn then. Just removed. ouch. I was too fat to be born naturally. (untitled) c) gladius hahahaha you came out of a vagina bisection mar You were never burn then Just removed ouch I was too fat to be born naturally
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[ 145 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
#10 - Denmarrk
Reply +73 123456789123345869
(09/19/2013) [-]
I was too fat to be born naturally.
User avatar #34 to #10 - profkitty
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
I was 10 lb 15 oz when I was born.
And I was the result because my father refused to get a vasectomy.
User avatar #125 to #34 - Denmarrk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Hey, at least heard of birth control. That's how parents end up with 7 kids.
User avatar #69 to #10 - aaauuuggghhh
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
At least your mother got a trim off her belly in the process.
LOL JK
#71 to #10 - dreamsyourfollow
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
I was so fat, I was supposed to be born the day before I actually was...
User avatar #115 to #10 - fridgelogic
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
I also was too fat to born naturally, was about twice the size of normal babies by some accounts. Moreover, the nurse who pulled out was a ******* novice who pulled my right arm so vigorously, my nerves were damaged and my arm was paralysed. Had to undergo tons of surgeries after my birth just so it can move again. Good news is, I can move it. Bad news is, It's much weaker than my left arm, it doesn't go straight, and I can't left moderately heavy weights for a long time.
User avatar #123 to #115 - Denmarrk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
That sounds horrible man. I'm just going to hope it doesn't affect you nowadays and that you were too young to remember 80% of the surgeries.
User avatar #136 to #123 - fridgelogic
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Thanks bro, really appreciate it.
User avatar #137 to #136 - Denmarrk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Not an issue man. I just feel like people need a boost if their life is harder than mine.
User avatar #120 to #10 - pandastasia **User deleted account**
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
I couldn't be born naturally either, apparently my head was too big.
User avatar #122 to #120 - Denmarrk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Hopefully it didn't come with a big ego as well c:
User avatar #134 to #122 - pandastasia **User deleted account**
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
You hoped wrong, I am incredibly full of myself.
User avatar #135 to #134 - Denmarrk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Well ****. Better to be confident in yourself rather than low self esteem.
User avatar #143 to #10 - toncheky
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Are you still fat?
User avatar #144 to #143 - Denmarrk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/21/2013) [-]
Maybe.
#68 to #10 - jlsoccer
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
User avatar #50 to #10 - gayboard
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
No, you're just big muscled.

We are tough little babies will will puncha yo buns!
User avatar #124 to #50 - Denmarrk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Thanks man. Nice to know not all guys on the internet are asses c:
#11 to #10 - infinitereaper
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(09/19/2013) [-]
I wasn't even wanted to begin with.
User avatar #12 to #11 - Denmarrk
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(09/19/2013) [-]
Can we just make this thread into birth issues, I feel that people need to share their complaints.
#17 to #12 - operationcomando
Reply +32 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
I was born black.

They said there was no cure.
User avatar #18 to #17 - Denmarrk
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
I feel ya bro. My mom disowned me because I came out to her that I was black.
#13 to #12 - caramelfox
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Sure thing   
   
My dad left my mom after she found out she was pregnant.   
   
 Luckily they got back together so I guess it all works out. But she kept it a secret from me until my 16th birthday
Sure thing

My dad left my mom after she found out she was pregnant.

Luckily they got back together so I guess it all works out. But she kept it a secret from me until my 16th birthday
#22 to #13 - trollofhalo
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
I wasn't even born...
User avatar #94 to #13 - aerosol
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
True Facts About The Mantis Shrimp
User avatar #23 to #13 - tippidyt
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
So you're black too?
User avatar #142 to #23 - operationcomando
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Yeah.
User avatar #133 to #13 - Denmarrk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Rough for your mom, but it all worked out I guess. But you can give your dad **** for that, so merry travels broski.
#40 to #12 - xnotcreative
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
I don't have a complaint but I keep thinking...

It takes about a quarter of a million dollars to raise a child from birth to their 18th birthday.

So that means it's going to take at least 750,000 dollars for my mom to raise me and my two brothers.

Long story short? My mom would be sooo happy if we were never born with all that money.
User avatar #109 to #40 - jellybaby
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
But if you don't have children, you probably won't have that money anyway, since you don't need to work for it.
User avatar #116 to #12 - OldSnake
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
When I was to be born, the doctor had told my parents that my mother's water broke. It didn't break until I was crowning, so I ended up with a face full of water for at least a minute or so before my mom pushed me out. When she finally got me out, the rest of the medical staff ran to hide from the imminent geyser. The only people in the room to witness my birth firsthand were my mother and my dad.

Needless to say, we haven't gone back to those quacks since.
User avatar #130 to #116 - Denmarrk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Damn, you could have technically sued them for not doing the duties you paid them for.
User avatar #43 to #12 - adrilazzaro
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
i supposed to either die or kill my mother because she didnt have enough womb juices to keep me alive, and the supplement was toxic to her. we both lived happily ever after though
except that i'm 5'8
User avatar #131 to #43 - Denmarrk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Lucky man. Enjoy life.
#31 to #12 - passwordismine
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
I was born 3 months early...
User avatar #132 to #31 - Denmarrk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
You survived man. Most kids don't. Be happy.
#51 to #11 - linktheherooftime
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
My mom tried to have my step dad kill me.
User avatar #126 to #51 - Denmarrk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
That's rough bro. Your step dad must be a good man to not have killed you and step up as a father to you, at least i'm assuming that's the case. Please correct me if i'm wrong.
User avatar #138 to #126 - linktheherooftime
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
My step dad was a prick while my mom was married to him. I only really started to like him after she and him divorced. Of course my moms constant bitching is probably what made him out to be an asshole..
User avatar #139 to #138 - Denmarrk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
I don't mean to be rude/mean/whatever but what happened to your real dad? If you don't want to say that's fine man, but i'm always here for you guys.
User avatar #140 to #139 - linktheherooftime
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
My real dad lives in Oklahoma. He was married to another woman at the time he and my mom conceived me. I met him for the first and last time when I was 13. He added me on Facebook, but I don't really talk to him for the simple fact that I get pissed off at him pretty easily. He also owes like a **** load of child support that nobody is making him pay.
User avatar #141 to #140 - Denmarrk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Yup. Your dad is a dick. Make him buy you presents to make up for the payments.
User avatar #52 to #51 - infinitereaper
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
To be honest I would have rather never been born. Having tasted life is cruel. Like someone dangling the most beautiful thing in the universe right in front of your face while keeping you prisoner and torturing you.
User avatar #127 to #52 - Denmarrk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
That's real metal man.
Anyway, I felt the same way last year. Life will look up. Life gave me 5 new friends since forever, all of my bullies moved away, and guys are actually considering me now. It feels nice to be loved man. I'm here for you.
#102 to #52 - anon id: 391bf305
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
inb4 suicide
User avatar #57 to #52 - linktheherooftime
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
I wouldn't go that far. Despite how ****** my life used to be I still like to look at the bright side of things (which is really hard considering the fact that I'm naturally a pessimist.) Life's what you make it man, and I try to make it as best I can.
#58 to #57 - infinitereaper
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
I'm just not sure how much I have left me. I know that as long as my heart still beats I have to fight, but man... I've been running on empty for years.
User avatar #129 to #58 - Denmarrk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Are you still in school? Keep your grades up. Trust me. No Gf/Bf? Now's not the time. Rude people? Cut them out of your life. Parents mean/ beat you? Roll with the punches, but keep your head up. It will work out. Don't worry your poor little head <3
#81 to #58 - hektoroftroy
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
you can do it. i believe in you.
User avatar #59 to #58 - infinitereaper
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
left in me*
#28 - lifeanddeath
Reply +37 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Q_Q wut? Today is my birthday...and I was a C-section.

Thanks bro...thanks a lot
User avatar #80 to #28 - daentraya
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
According to GLaDOS, twins don't have souls. So all in all, i'm a soulless tumor.
#128 to #80 - GLaDOS
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Congrats you soulless monster
User avatar #82 to #28 - rumpeball
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
same with me...
User avatar #117 to #28 - Senic
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Happy removal day, tumor baby
User avatar #147 to #28 - jimthegoat
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/24/2013) [-]
Happy removal day tumour baby
User avatar #60 to #28 - daviid
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
happy birthday bro
#101 to #28 - bribrian
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
jappy birthday
#55 to #28 - tastycrisps
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Happy removalday!   
   
Enjoy the celebration of your yearly survival   
   
 Honestly i think c-sections are better because you can say that never in your life have you touched your mother's vagina
Happy removalday!

Enjoy the celebration of your yearly survival

Honestly i think c-sections are better because you can say that never in your life have you touched your mother's vagina
User avatar #63 to #55 - jackknapp
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
When you were a sperm cell you did. In fact, you actively swam around in there and looked for the egg.
User avatar #64 to #63 - tastycrisps
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
People always think that they started out as a sperm cell, but that's a misconception.

Our development started once the egg and sperm met, you know "conception". The egg is part of it too, actually it's just about half.

If you go back in time from birth the fetus shrinks until it splits into the two sex cells, not just the sperm.
#76 to #64 - macbookfan
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
But still: the first part of your being (be it half or whole, that's really not that important) did, in fact swim around in your mother's vagina.
#61 - anon id: a0bc27ca
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
I was a ******* huge baby, born a couple weeks too early, they had to take me out cause I was too big.
Look on the bright side, being a c-section baby means you head didn't get misshapen on the way out.
User avatar #103 to #61 - romeosdistress
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
I had to be taken out two months ahead of schedule. I was a ten pounder.
#70 to #61 - paulohd
Reply +33 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
#75 - kiwirulestwo
Reply +25 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
HAHA   
I NEVER HAD TO TOUCH MY MOM'S VAGINA WITH MY PENIS
HAHA
I NEVER HAD TO TOUCH MY MOM'S VAGINA WITH MY PENIS
User avatar #111 to #75 - mutzaki
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
At least I'm not a virgin!
#113 to #111 - kiwirulestwo
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
y u do dis to me
User avatar #114 to #113 - mutzaki
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
I'm sorry. I'm just secretly mad because I lost my virginity at birth...to my mom.
User avatar #78 to #75 - cantfindausername
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Sucks for you. It was amazing.
#79 to #78 - biddo
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
he...hehehe
#77 to #75 - demideus
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
#96 to #77 - happyfatkid
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
here have this
#121 to #96 - demideus
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
here have this~
#41 - EdwardNigma
Reply +22 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Look on the bright side. Being born as a c-section is both defying nature AND metal as ****.

Cut open and pulled from the womb when you should have been dead, yet you SURVIVE, because we are the coolest species on the planet.
User avatar #44 to #41 - adrilazzaro
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
that is a very high resolution picture
User avatar #45 to #44 - EdwardNigma
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
I have higher.
User avatar #46 to #45 - adrilazzaro
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
show me
User avatar #47 to #46 - EdwardNigma
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
It's not the same image, I should mention.
User avatar #48 to #47 - adrilazzaro
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
i dont care
#49 to #48 - EdwardNigma
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Okey dokey.
User avatar #62 to #49 - redrex
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
HOLY ****
User avatar #85 to #49 - spainisbad
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
What kind of ******* high resolution is that?
User avatar #86 to #85 - EdwardNigma
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
2658x2298
User avatar #87 to #86 - spainisbad
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Holy ******* Jesus Christ man!
#92 - mooghens
Reply +19 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Realizing you were c-sec'd and then realizing that was your only goddamn chance in life of ever getting in touch with a pussy and even that you failed at.

The ultimate beta.
#105 to #92 - dontknowmeatall
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Why would I ******* want to be in touch with my mother's vagina, you incestuous ****?
#29 - baditch
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
I can kill Macbeth
I can kill Macbeth
User avatar #33 to #29 - cannibislover
Reply -4 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
People who've never read Macbeth thumbing you down.
#42 to #33 - toastableduckling
Reply +10 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
No, people who read comment #6 are thumbing him down.
User avatar #145 to #42 - baditch
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/21/2013) [-]
I should read the comments before I comment.
User avatar #35 to #29 - toadkillerdog
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
aye, and that which was never truly born can never truly die
#6 - anon id: 7092b239
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/19/2013) [-]
I can kill Macbeth, though.
User avatar #73 to #6 - legamethatyoulost
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Ha
I get that reference
User avatar #107 to #6 - venoshto
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
does anybody have a gif of blackadder with those two guys who started slapping each other everytime somebody said macbeth?
#66 to #6 - TheSchwartz
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
But that means you have to avenge your family!
But that means you have to avenge your family!
#72 to #6 - hypocritical
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
only medieval reaction   
 and it isn't even really medieval
only medieval reaction
and it isn't even really medieval
#24 to #6 - ragingcacti
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Sweet Jesus... you're right!
Sweet Jesus... you're right!
#91 to #6 - diegotan
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#104 - trishaferr
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
I seemed to be trying to piss my mum off as much as possible right before I was born.
> 2 weeks late
> Mum went into labour naturally
> C-Section already booked for later that day
> Midwife thinks, 'what the hell', go for a natural birth, might get me out faster
> NOPE.jpg
> I am upside down, midwife tries to turn me
> Not happening
> "Looks like it'll have to be the C-Section after all"
> Mum being prepped for surgery
> They do quick ultrasound to check my position right before
> "Oh look, she's turning by herself now"
> Too late, have to go ahead with the C-Section anyway
> MFW


#89 - anon id: ef493c81
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
for the guys who were born naturally, your penis touched your mums vagina
#100 to #89 - wartroll
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(09/20/2013) [-]
I think my whole body touched my mom's vagina...