hello, i am 17 now, and i moved in with my father and step-mom after a lenghty 16 year hardship with my mother, after everything that has happened, i wonder "how am i still alive?" so here we go
ever since i lived with my mother, which was when i was 4, to me, everything seemed ok, until i turned 11 when things started to go down and i realized it. let's skip to me being 14.
there was never any food in the house, literally. i would beg for money or food or something to drink because my mother didn't bother, i was emotionally abused for years being with her, and i was neglected, she was never around. she was too busy doing her thing. while she was out having fun, i was stuck in the house, dieing of hunger. the pain was terrible. i didn't even want to live if this was the life i was going to have. fast forward to the summer of me going into gr.12, so i was 16
my mom was excellent at this. she brainwashed me into living with her in a city hours away from where i lived before, where all of my friends and family lived. we moved into a single bedroom apartment, naturally she was the one who got the room...and a bed, i slept on the floor or sat with my back against the wall pretty well crying myself to sleep. she still never got any food leaving me to once again starve. i noramlly don't like school, but i was glad school was coming up to leave the horrid place. but she never signed me up.
here comes a bad thing for me to see, i read a book she made back in highschool, and i noticed she wrote a letter to "my unborn baby", i read it and litteraly ran on the streets bawling my eyes out. what i saw shock me up and still does to this day, she wrote how she never wanted me and was going to abort me becuase i will ruin her life...thanks mom, there for me once again eh!
my life was a mess, i always tried to look happy becuase i didn't want anybody getting suspicous. i wore a fake smile for 14 years. i am glad i got away from her. but every time i think of what my childhood was like, i still wonder " how and why am i still alive?!?" i do show my emotions ever. but this is nice to finally let this out. thank you for listening, and i am glad i no longer live with that monster!