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User avatar #53 - OrionPax (03/30/2013) [-]
I've been having problems focusing all through school. This is my senior year, and for some reason I just needed help. I couldn't do my homework. I just couldn't. I asked my mom to make an appointment so I could get on Adderall.
At first, it was good. I could focus in class, finally. but then... I started getting angry. Like, constantly angry. I'm an easy going person. I don't get angry, and when I do I just internalize it. but not now. I snapped at my friends and classmates, even my parents. I got my work done, sure, but... I felt different.
Then one day, walking through the halls... I thought... why not just end it? It would be easy. That thought kept repeating. It would be easy. I've seen people get advice on /b/, I'd just ask what pills I could scrounge up to go out peacefully (I know I'd never stomach hanging or jumping or cutting of any sort. Plus, I didn't want to leave a mess). I was even going to call the suicide hotline, just to give myself a chance. I knew people would care. But they'd get over it, in time. Everyone died. It would be easy. And what scared me the most is I was so calm about it all. I didn't care. It was just... easier to let it all go.
I was driving home when I just started bawling in the car. Full on mental breakdown. I couldn't believe what was going through my head.
That was the last time I ever took Adderall, and the last time I had thoughts of suicide. I told my doctor and she said it was a super rare side effect, but... **** , man. I didn't think I was capable of thoughts like that. It still terrifies me. No grade is worth that, man. Nothing is.
((TLDR Adderall almost killed me. Don't do drugs))
User avatar #108 to #53 - rieskimo (03/30/2013) [-]
I understand what your initial message here was. I agree that, in the US at least that I know of, we over medicate our population. We're too quick to reach for the pill bottle instead of researching what the real issue is. But I have to say, I don't agree with your final line. My mom is Manic Depressive and Bipolar, she has to go for one month out of the year without medication because of some weird ****** up government issue. During that month she turns into a different person, an animal almost. She becomes a bare nerve just waiting to twitch at the slightest stimuli. I hate watching her go through that, it really gets to me(this after a lifetime of seeing her go through it multiple times just to try to find the right concoction of meds). I understand that she isn't the general population but I've seen a lot of young and confused mentally ill kids that don't know what to do or where to go. They have commercials and doctors on one side telling them to take pills and then they have society on another side telling them they're weak if they take medicine or that they don't actually need medicine. It's a real problem. I myself have never relented to a medication supplement and just now in my young adulthood I'm starting to think I really should have. I have difficulty concentrating and my short term memory really sucks sometimes. I've tried all sorts of things; increasing sleep, changing my diet, getting exercise. Though all of those things improved my issues they haven't alleviated them, I continue to struggle.

I understand that medication isnt for everyone, and it shouldn't be. But medication shouldn't have a stigma attached to it, that just makes the process harder. I wish we had a more dependable system and more attention paid to mental health. We don't, unfortunately in the world we live in it's very important to be your own medical advocate. Dont let your message be "dont take drugs" let it be "dont take drugs if you don't need them" it's a world of difference.
User avatar #125 to #108 - OrionPax (03/30/2013) [-]
I completely understand your situation. I'm by no means saying that if a medication can help you shouldn't take it. My last statement was very vague, and I apologize. I was commenting on the fact that some people take Adderall just to get a high, or abuse drugs like it. Well prescribed, well used medication can save lives. I have a friend going through maniac depression who just recently started medication for it, and it has helped her immensely. I'm sorry that I wasn't more specific, and thank you for calling me on it. Best of luck to you and your mother.
User avatar #128 to #125 - rieskimo (03/30/2013) [-]
Thank you.
#72 to #53 - Kraid (03/30/2013) [-]
I had taken that stuff before football games this past year, and I would not eat, and I'd get angry just like you said. Especially when our team was a losing team. One game we lost so bad, 62-0 and I had pulled my calf muscle, that I told my girlfriend to **** off, and proceeded to crack my remote to my tv.

<Pic related, it's my remote.

User avatar #71 to #53 - dandamanzx ONLINE (03/30/2013) [-]
I read your entire comment in Peter Cullen's voice because of your username...
User avatar #68 to #53 - fcukyourcouch ONLINE (03/30/2013) [-]
That reminds me of when my doctor prescribed me with these antidepressant pills, perphen-amitrip. (I was 17 at the time.) My mom had just passed away and he assumed I was suicidal, even though I didn't even think about it. So after about two weeks of taking them, I became so apathetic. Like, I just didn't care about anything. Then the suicidal thoughts started coming. Our high school was divided into two buildings- one for 10th-12th grade and one across the street for 9th grade. I had to walk across the street to the 9th grade building because that was the only building with french class, which I took. First I started thinking about accidentally getting hit by cars, then I started thinking about throwing myself into the traffic. It was weird because I would think about it everyday, about how easy it would be and how no one would miss me. I almost did it once. ******* scared the **** out of me.
User avatar #126 to #68 - OrionPax (03/30/2013) [-]
I'm sorry that happened, man. No matter what anyone puts you on, if you start to feel like that, stop taking it. Talk to your doctor about it, and if they don't do anything about it, find a new doctor.
User avatar #64 to #53 - Endofzeeworld (03/30/2013) [-]
Just remember Tyrion's old mantra "Death is so boring, but life, Ah! Life is full of opportunity!"
#63 to #53 - dealtorfer (03/30/2013) [-]
I took Vyvance in 7th grade and got pissed off at anybody that wanted to do anything but
just get **** done. My brother also took vyvance and tried to kill himself. We took him off
of it, and he almost instantly got better. **** focus pills man, they make my family's lives'
User avatar #60 to #53 - steelix (03/30/2013) [-]
**** man, I guess that's what advertisements mean by "side effects may include thoughts of suicide."
User avatar #127 to #60 - OrionPax (03/30/2013) [-]
I never actually thought that happened to people who hadn't already been thinking of it...
#58 to #53 - teenytinyspider (03/30/2013) [-]
Adderall is a strong narcotic made from amphetamines, the same stuff used to make meth which is a strong brain-altering drug. I'm surprised they haven't banned that crap. I've seen someone on Adderall and they were insane. It was scary.

Glad you lived through it. That stuff can have damaging permanent effects.

Super-rare side effect? No, it's not. There have been a lot of people coming forward to express mood-swings, anger, and thoughts suicide.

I'd suggest finding some natural remedies for concentration problems. I think certain foods can help with that. I think Pomegranates are one? I hear they're really healthy for you.
User avatar #133 to #58 - Kraid (03/31/2013) [-]
Strange you say that, because I had taken it one day and then later on that night while skyping with my ladyfriend I was all depressed and wanted to hang myself ._.
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