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#4 - adu (08/22/2013) [-]
This definition is true, but "introversion" is starting to become the new "popular tick" like OCD was about 5 years ago. So be careful with how you define yourself. There are no definite lines of introversion, only a sliding scale of how satisfied you are being alone with your own thoughts versus the need for qualia input from human interaction.
#161 to #4 - anonymous (08/23/2013) [-]
I don't interact with people because I fucking hate myself. I hate everything about me and I think that if I interact with people, they will hate me. I've tried to change this, but I have no clue how.
User avatar #165 to #161 - adu (08/23/2013) [-]
Have you tried to stop hating yourself? It's okay to be imperfect, but you'll never be able to improve something that you want to tear down. The emotions we feel toward ourselves often blind us to anything that's contrary to what we think we know about ourselves. Pride blinds us to criticism, sorrow blinds us to joy, and self hate blinds us from the love of others, and without a love for yourself you won't be able to give proper love to anyone else. If you want advice beyond that, you'll have to be more specific about what kind of thoughts you're having about yourself.
User avatar #156 to #4 - trivdiego (08/23/2013) [-]
im not exactly introverted cause i do have lots of friends who i talk to its just many times rather then spend time with them i would spend time by myself, like viscerys said. i dont think its a lack of self confidence, its just that making sure that both you and them have a good time expends a lot of effort, and i dont think thats the case for extroverts
User avatar #160 to #156 - adu (08/23/2013) [-]
The most important difference is in whether you feel yourself recharging inside or outside of emotional groups. If you relax by spending time with yourself, you're more likely an introvert. If you unwind by spending time with friends, more likely an extrovert. Introverts can still enjoy time spent with many friends, and extroverts can enjoy time to themselves, but it tends to drain them of energy rather than restore it.
#143 to #4 - mrblaze (08/23/2013) [-]
Meh, I'll chime in.

I hate crowds and don't like any kind of social interaction with people I don't know, yet with close friends (on the internet because everybody around my area are literal and figurative kids/no speakie good englay/stereotypical black, even if their skin is not) I'd be fine spending hours just bullshitting (which I find myself in a four hour skype call nightly just chatting with them).

However, I deeply crave a meaningful relationship with the opposite sex, and it's not even sex I fully want, I find myself wanting the snuggling part more with sex as a bonus.

Even in a very social environment I find myself being in my own little corner away from the others, only slinking through the crowd to get a drink/more food.
I don't even mind going out, I even go on daily bike rides to a nearby park.

So, what do I sound like to you?
Sorry for the long post, but I don't post very often as it is, have my current wallpaper as apology for having to read my novel.
User avatar #159 to #143 - adu (08/23/2013) [-]
Nice Dishonored wallpaper. You definitely seem more on the introverted side to me. You don't sound attached to these people you spend time with, so do you think it's a waste of effort to have these nightly four-hour skype calls? It could just be an appeal to a sense of belonging. I did the same thing when I was in highschool, I hung out with the potheads during lunch. They would accept just about anybody, and were always joking about something crude. I made myself fit in by thinking of crude things to joke about with them, but every time I left the table I returned to my reclusive self. Once I got out of highschool, I never caught myself missing them, not even a little. If you're home by yourself, and you dislike company, then try and keep yourself occupied with something fun or creative. Become more comfortable in your own skin, digging through your own thoughts, working on your own projects or simply relaxing.

I can certainly relate to you on the cuddle part. I haven't known a whole lot of it, especially not recently, but cuddling with a girl that's important to you is definitely a good feeling. One thing that's important to keep in mind though is that it will be difficult for a girl to be comfortable around you unless you're comfortable with yourself, and there are biological reasons as well as emotional ones behind that too. Don't be afraid to introduce yourself, search for common interests, join a club or start asking for some names and sharing some thoughts next time you encounter someone with a similar interest. Don't be afraid to ask questions about them, if they don't want to answer then they simply won't, it's risk-free. That's all I can really say to do, since I'm not a huge expert either. There was only one girl that loved me, and that was for being open and talkative with her. Be the kind of person you feel comfortable being, and with a bit of luck and friendliness the right girl will feel comfortable with the person you are too.
#246 to #159 - mrblaze (08/23/2013) [-]
Some good advice, thank you.

And I'd do that club stuff you said if I went to school, but I am home-schooled and home alone from 7 a.m until 3 p.m, during that time I'm perfectly happy to just do the few chores left to me and screw around playing my games.

As it stands, I'm comfortable with myself, though I do wish I were a little more toned but I am working on that by working out daily.

And I do feel attached to my friends, and often when they can't make it on I'm a tad upset I don't get to talk with them that night.
So no I don't think it's a waste of effort, and I enjoy them.

Also I got a ton of wallpapers, I could make a folder of them and upload it to mediafire if you want more.
User avatar #248 to #246 - adu (08/23/2013) [-]
I think I have enough wallpapers myself, but thanks for the offer.
#146 to #143 - mrblaze (08/23/2013) [-]
Shit, this looked longer in the comment creation box and felt longer when typing it...
Mostly on word picking.
User avatar #66 to #4 - matttmoss (08/22/2013) [-]
I hate when people say that I'm shy. It's not that I'm scared to talk to people. I just don't want I usually like to be alone but every once in a while I need to hang out with friends
User avatar #11 to #4 - viscerys (08/22/2013) [-]
I was more nervous about going out with my friends than going in for my Junior Cert exam. I despise 80% of the people surrounding me. I'd rather play a night of video games than go out to a party or a club for the night. Am I introverted, or just weird?
User avatar #12 to #11 - adu (08/22/2013) [-]
You sound introverted, but it sounds like more than that. Typically introverts feel comfortable around small groups of close friends, so maybe you need closer friends.
User avatar #13 to #12 - viscerys (08/22/2013) [-]
I've grown up side-by-side with most of my friends. It wasn't a situation of I wanted to not be with them, it was a situation of I didn't want to screw anything up, because internally I belive that it would lessen their opinion of me. I know it likely but hey, anxiety does that. I mean, I find myself caring about what people ONLINE think of me.
User avatar #14 to #13 - adu (08/22/2013) [-]
Sounds like introversion mixed with a lack of self confidence. You know you don't need other people to validate your existence or bring you happiness right? A close friend would be the kind that you could express any of your thoughts to without fear of offending them or embarrassing yourself.
User avatar #16 to #14 - viscerys (08/22/2013) [-]
I know. I've been told by the school psychologist and my parents AND my friends. I find it hard to not think in such a way. It really sucks.
User avatar #17 to #16 - adu (08/22/2013) [-]
What traits do you consider valuable about yourself? I think it's best to start from there and work your way up.
User avatar #18 to #17 - viscerys (08/22/2013) [-]
Pretty much all I'm good at is creative writing and building shit in Minecraft.
User avatar #19 to #18 - adu (08/22/2013) [-]
Creative writing. That's a great place to start. I'm a creative writer myself, I have over 160 pages written in my own book. I haven't worked on it in a long time, but I will when I find the motivation. But let's focus on your creative writing in particular.

Creative writing is a great way to promote better diction, better vocabulary, better critical thinking, better problem-solving, and better intelligence in general. Work on that more, and don't be afraid to show your work to friends or even to strangers who show in interest. You can even share some with me if you want. If you build up that kind of inner mechanism, think about the way people behave and interact with each other in your head, project parts of yourself as a myriad of characters, it can help you interact with real people in a different environment. If you work at it enough and gain the confidence to publish something, it might even make you rich. If nothing else, it will be an amazing conversation starter for anyone who is interested in reading or writing themselves, so that's a good outlet for introducing yourself in a positive manner.

Sorry if I sound like a councilor or something, I just like offering advice. You can take it or leave it, I won't be offended.
User avatar #30 to #19 - Daemon Lord ONLINE (08/22/2013) [-]
Dude, I know this conversation has nothing to do with me and my feelings, but the fact that you took your time to sit and help viscerys was actually very admirable in my opinion. A noble soul is you.
User avatar #37 to #30 - adu (08/22/2013) [-]
Thanks, I like to help where I can. I figure if everyone did the same, a lot of people would be happier for it.
User avatar #39 to #37 - Daemon Lord ONLINE (08/22/2013) [-]
I try to do what I can, but sometimes I can't think of anything to help as much as I hope I could. That's usually when I start looking at people like you and hope I can learn something as well. You help more than the people you know you're helping.
#41 to #39 - adu (08/22/2013) [-]
That actually means a lot to me. Thank you.
That actually means a lot to me. Thank you.
User avatar #42 to #41 - Daemon Lord ONLINE (08/22/2013) [-]
I should be the one thanking. Keep being you dude.
User avatar #24 to #19 - viscerys (08/22/2013) [-]
Thank you for your advice. I will try and put it to good use.
#5 to #4 - anonymous (08/22/2013) [-]
I don't think it's starting to become "popular." I think more people are just either speaking up about being introverted, or people are finding out, "Hey! I'm not a freak - I'm just introverted!"

Being an introvert is not really accepted by society, so I don't know why people would fake/lie/exaggerate about being introverted.
User avatar #7 to #5 - adu (08/22/2013) [-]
Like I said, it's a sliding scale. Being a more hardcore introvert and recluse isn't accepted by society, but some people define themselves as introverts just because they don't like sports or parties. The Extrovert Ideal is still apparent, but now some people identify with a quieter crowd as some sort of appeal to introspective intelligence. As things begin to trend, there will be people who join it for either genuine or superficial purposes.

There's actually a pretty good series on introversion if you want to watch it.

The Power of Introverts - Ep 1 - Susan Cain
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