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User avatar #92 - fukkenchaos (02/19/2013) [-]
I was born with a chest deformity (pectus excavatum), and after multiple corrective surgeries, my chest no longer threatened to crush my lungs or heart. Shortly after my last surgery, I was 7 years old, the ribs on the right side of my body began to grow faster. The bones began to stretch and tear the flesh surrounding them, causing me immense amounts of pain. The pain became a 24/7 experience, and it started to effect me psychologically. I developed schizophrenia, which then progressed into multiple personality disorder.
When I was 12, I met a girl. Her name was Tatiana, and she quickly became my best friend. Unfortunately, her father got a job in Oregon (we lived in California), and she had to move.
Spend the next year drifting apart, then stop talking altogether.
I get a phone call from her one night. She had been crying a lot, and her voice was so quiet. Her only words to me were: "I'm so sorry. I can't take this. I love you." Then there was a loud bang, and everything was quiet. I said her name a hundred times before I heard her bedroom door open and her mother started screaming. The phone she called me on died after her mom found her body.
I fell into a deep depression and I started cutting myself. I would bottle my emotions from that night until I was 17.
Fast forward 4 years. I'm 17, 3 suicide attempts already, still severely depressed, 3 personalities (myself, Ace, and Tyler), occasional cutting. My girlfriend at the time calls me and tells me she cheated on me. That was it. I snapped and broke down. Complete blackout and suicide attempt.
I woke up in my living room; my mom and sister crying and my dad rushing from his place (my parents divorced when I was 8) to see me.
I spend the next 40 days in mental facilities.
While I was in my various hospitals, I learned something that almost sent me into complete insanity: Tatiana never existed. I had hallucinated my best friend, because I didn't have anyone real. I felt more alone than I ever had.
#112 to #92 - imostlyroll (09/17/2013) [-]
This is all I can do.
This is all I can do.
User avatar #113 to #112 - fukkenchaos (09/17/2013) [-]
thanks, bro
User avatar #110 to #92 - awralrus (03/01/2013) [-]
Holy...holy **** ...
User avatar #103 to #92 - paintballgun (02/23/2013) [-]
Dude
User avatar #101 to #92 - hitlerwillrapejew (02/22/2013) [-]
only one i actually read.
made me cry like a bitch.
User avatar #93 to #92 - fukkenchaos (02/19/2013) [-]
cont.
On February 23, 2013 (Saturday), it will be the first time since I was 12 that I will have gone a full year without cutting.

#107 to #93 - anonymous (02/26/2013) [-]
I don't know if this will help or not, but it certainly saved me from a lot of needless stress in high school. Make sure you have about 1.5 hours to listen to it.
www(dot) [url deleted] /watch?v=nyN7WUKRicw&list=PL982D96116E9453E4
#108 to #107 - anonymous (02/26/2013) [-]
It's on youtube.
#95 to #93 - yomommabinshoppin (02/19/2013) [-]
Keep yourself clean man, I believe in you, your family loves in you, God loves you, may you find peace and happiness in life
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