I'd like to make a request

>Browsing through FJ, just clicking the next button over and over again
>Am really comfy
>Leaning against chair and putting feet on desk
>Accidentally click "random button"
>Have to get up and click the back button

I was born with a chest deformity (pectus excavatum), and after multiple corrective surgeries, my chest no longer threatened to crush my lungs or heart. Shortly after my last surgery, I was 7 years old, the ribs on the right side of my body began to grow faster. The bones began to stretch and tear the flesh surrounding them, causing me immense amounts of pain. The pain became a 24/7 experience, and it started to effect me psychologically. I developed schizophrenia, which then progressed into multiple personality disorder.
When I was 12, I met a girl. Her name was Tatiana, and she quickly became my best friend. Unfortunately, her father got a job in Oregon (we lived in California), and she had to move.
Spend the next year drifting apart, then stop talking altogether.
I get a phone call from her one night. She had been crying a lot, and her voice was so quiet. Her only words to me were: "I'm so sorry. I can't take this. I love you." Then there was a loud bang, and everything was quiet. I said her name a hundred times before I heard her bedroom door open and her mother started screaming. The phone she called me on died after her mom found her body.
I fell into a deep depression and I started cutting myself. I would bottle my emotions from that night until I was 17.
Fast forward 4 years. I'm 17, 3 suicide attempts already, still severely depressed, 3 personalities (myself, Ace, and Tyler), occasional cutting. My girlfriend at the time calls me and tells me she cheated on me. That was it. I snapped and broke down. Complete blackout and suicide attempt.
I woke up in my living room; my mom and sister crying and my dad rushing from his place (my parents divorced when I was 8) to see me.
I spend the next 40 days in mental facilities.
While I was in my various hospitals, I learned something that almost sent me into complete insanity: Tatiana never existed. I had hallucinated my best friend, because I didn't have anyone real. I felt more alone than I ever had.

I have a whole Baww folder. Should I share everything?

I always have that feeling that none of my friends are real, that they pretend to be my friends so I don't feel left out. I feel like if I suddenly dissapeared, no one would actually care

Be me
Served in the Army
Be in State Patrol
"Jeeze Fritzzle how many muthafuckaz have you killed?"
they always ask how many people we kill,
never how many we saved.

I like being alone, as in relationships and such. I like to be alone because that way i cant hurt the person i really care for. I wouldn't be able to take that pain of seeing her sad or angry with me because i failled or hurt her. I just wouldnt be able to take it. Its for the best anyways..I..I like to be alone.

I was diagnosed with cervical cancer the day after Thanksgiving. At first, it was an abnormal PAP smear. Then, a biopsy and two weeks later, I found out I had Stage I. After five weeks of radiation, it had spread. I was Stage IIA. So, they did a more aggressive approach. Three weeks later, another carcinoma shows up. My doctor sends the scan to another doctor 1200 miles away. The doctor says it's Stage IIB, and I had surgery to remove tissue. I might not be able to have children.

I am now 1200 miles away from my boyfriend. I'm alone and I'm not sure how long I'll be here. Yesterday, I had another biopsy for an area the doctor was concerned about. I won't know the results for a week.

It's cold in New Mexico.

This gives me more feels than anything else.

imgur.com/a/1RwfT

I hope you like this.

This shit.

i used to hate people, just recently i'm starting to get out, but everywhere i go, it seems as if people are insulting me, even if they aren't. a couple weeks ago i met a girl here (on the brony board) she said she was raped, and i talked to her until i fell asleep, a few days later she tried overdosing but failed. after that things seemed to pick up for her, we got each others numbers and were texting. she sent me a few pictures of herself, and she was really pretty. and i sent a couple of myself, and she said i wasnt so bad either. she was one of very few people that didn't make me feel like shit about myself.

last night she sent me a message about her boyfriend dumping her. she seemed like she was really freaking out, which dot me freaking out, and she said she was planning on getting a bunch of booze and pills, and she started to text me less and less coherent things, then she called me... it was late and i was freaking out, and i was supposed ot be asleep, so i didn't answer, fearing what my parents would do if they found out. i haven't heard from her since, i have a feeling she tried to commit suicide again, i can only hope she didn't do it, i'll have no way of knowing if she's alright or not...

my mom and dad divorced, and my dad was overseas (Navy) and my mom left me with my 2 brothers, Jasper and Alix (Jasper being 23 and Alix being 16)
i was about 7 or 8 when i went back to my mom
Jasper protected me and raised me, so i was reluctant to leave
my mom told me to just stay with them, since i was "a worthless accident" anyway
Jasper was in the military (cant remember what branch...) and Alix stayed home whit me while Jasper was gone after Alix's 19th birthday
when i turned 9, Jasper came home, hugged me, and went to his room
curious, i went to his room and saw he was crying
the next day, he said he was being shipped off some where and he probably wont be coming back for a while
feelsbitems.jpg
turn 11
Jasper never comes home, but Alix gives me an envelope with my name on it from Jasper
inside has a letter
read it all, just telling me about whats around him, etcetera etcetera
last line says "Never let the sand run through your fingers without catching the glass."
da fuq
realized about a year ago, after reading it over and over, he meant not to let life pass you by without enjoying the good times in it
Jasper never came back

no, this is not grammatically correct nor is there usually glass in sand, i dont care this made me cry like a bitch when i typed it

FEELS

I've told this one before, and I find it soothing to get it off my chest
>friend of mine comes back from Iraq
>attends the same college we all went to
>even did a surprise homecoming forus
>pretty soon he starts to get really sad and quiet all the time
>assume its just him getting used to civilian life, but fear its ptsd
>holiday time, our dorm has a big party
>friend is there and is trying to have a good time, but is still very quiet
>other friend suggest we get the beer and weed out of their dorm (they shared)
>army friend says it ok and that there is beer in a box
>me and some friends go into his room and dont find box, so we look under his bed
.see a box of war photos, some nice others.....not so nice
>nothing graphic, but pics of my friends and some other soldiers saluting caskets and graves
>can tell by thier postures they are crying
>never scene my friend cry. EVER
>a few weeks later he tells me that he was upet because it was the anniversary that 2 of his friends were killed in an abmush and that he blames still himself