Here I stand all broken and beaten, alone and forsaken.
My failures and achievements rush before my eyes like a white water river.
I’ve done so much for so many, but in the end I have nothing to my name.
Love that I have freely given, tossed aside like unwanted garbage.
Friends that I have strove to help now leave me helpless.
My hopes, my dreams, lost to the ages of mediocrity. I realize now they are naught.
To believe I once thought this world wanted me, needed me, and accepted me.
I see now that it’s all a farce, unreal, a mirage; imaginary.
Some friends have stayed, but they cannot undo others meddling, try though they might.
To once think I was strong, happy, and at ease, is unthinkable to me now.
Each day I hurt more and more, unable to stop the onslaught, I just can’t.
I show people a happy face, to hide my fractured soul. If only they knew.
How I wish to find a person who loves me, to laugh with me, to help me.
I’m afraid for what the next day brings, can I take it? Will it break me?
I have hope, hope that I will be happy, feel loved, feel useful, feel joy.
I’ve lost so many, a father, a love, friends who I felt dear, even my dignity.
I want to be strong, to be whole, to be happy, but it evades me every day.
Go away stress, go away sorrow, go away fear, please just go away before I break.
I just want to be happy and alive. I’m afraid that it won’t be so, so very afraid.