Today is my birthday (4/20) and I'm turning 22. I'm attending college, and I'm going to graduate this fall. Things aren't going so well. In high school, I wasn't the most popular guy. I lived in a small, religious farm town and I was the fat, nerdy band kid. I was a social outcast, and my senior year I came out as an atheist. I didn't attend prom. I never had a girlfriend. I still don't have a girlfriend. I'm now a 22 year old kissless virgin. I have extreme social anxiety (I once sat in my car outside a party for two hours; I never actually went in), and I have some emotional problems (I take a lot of stuff too personally and I get angry easy).
Thing is, in high school, I was promised that things would be different in college. My first year, I didn't really have any friends. My second year of college, I had a small group of tight-knit friends. Throughout the year we'd hang out and celebrate birthdays when they came around. But when it was my birthday, everyone was busy. No one even said "happy birthday" to me. A week later (after the semester was over and it was break) I learned that they all got together and celebrated the birthday of another person in our group. I was pissed, and that was the end of that.
Third year of college comes around, and I get a new group of friends. We hang out and drink almost every weekend. But, once again, as soon as my birthday comes around, everyone vanishes. I spent my 21st birthday alone.
Then we get to this year, and the same thing happened. I've even starting working on my social anxiety and emotional issues. But then this weekend comes around and everyone is too busy to be with me on my birthday. I'm so tired of this. I'm tired of being alone. I keep hoping it's a cruel joke. Like everyone is just pretending to be busy, but they're all meeting secretly to plan a surprise party, and any minute now they are going to burst through my door and take me there.