Feeline

> be 3
> get a cat - light brown, very pale tan coat
> become best friends with brocat
> slightly violent, but mellows out
> always sleeping on my head
> feelsgoodman.jpg
> brocat also always tries to escape
> shut the door on him once
> two seconds later, he scratches to come back in
> Never could leave us behind

> flashforward; be 12
> brocat develops diabetes
> have to send him to a sanctuary in Maryland, or euthanasia
> feel we ought to give brocat life
> drop him off at my Aunt's veterinary office
> painful goodbye
> told brocat I'd be scratching at the door of the sanctuary soon, so I could see him
> months pass, he's responding well to treatment
> in my mind, plan out visit
> Nine months later
> ask grandma if she thinks brocat will remember us when we visit him
> we can't visit him
> brocat died three months ago
> diabetes caught up to him
> Never did scratch on that door

> be now
> picture frame I made for him still sits where it always had
> refuse move it; he's peacefully sleeping inside of it
> not trying to get out of the house
> not having diabetes and having to go
> not dying before I could be with him again
> just being the brocat I've always loved
> there isn't a moment when I can't see him

I'm so sorry, Butterscotch.
I'll always love you.