Carolean feels. Got mitt uns. 16 years old 2: -Just married the love of my life is prego is rough but nice iwork the fields eeat porridge all the time mean ALL
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Carolean feels

Got mitt uns

16 years old
2: -Just married the love of my life
is prego
is rough but nice
iwork the fields
eeat porridge all the time
mean ALL the time
has in I have nayer eaten
anything else since I stopped
being breastfed
Phreaking love porridge
day the king' s men come to my village
tell us we are at war with Denmark, Norway, Germany, Russia and
up all the males
epick every 10th in lines
get picked
gget told to pack my things
to war
it never changes
fiight all over europe, defending my home
2: -see eight out of my nine friends die by ******** themselves to death
tthe ninth guy gets shot by Ivan
bbe in constant agony for over fifteen years
ikill people
asit in russian internment camp
do it all for my family and my country
need to keep them safe
fiinally escape after I strangle the guard to death with one of my cellmates
tounges
pstart walking
AWALK back to my homeland
months later
in Stockholm
mu is scorched by russian raiders
appearently we are going to invade Norway new
balance at the road back to my village befire I volounteer to the officers
in norway sucks
bbetter than russia though
bbe laying in trench around fort
king approaching with his entourage
yhe approaches me and sits down next to me, looking over the top
am about to tell him to put his ******* head down but realise he is the
king
yhe looks at me with an amused look on his face
Don' t be scared my fria-"
jkings head
yhis brains are all over me
tthe bodyguards carry him away
two years later
arrive at my farm
mthree quarters of the army never made it back through the mountains
lost my right hand
awalk up to the door and call for my wife
man answers the door
chear babies crying in the background
2: -see my wife carrying a small child
sshe jumps when she sees me
tbells me to go away
tthe man starts to shut the door
vwhen the door is almost closed [scream at her to tell me where my child is
sshe says my sen died fighting in Finland last year
wlecome homeless in Stockholm
gget stabbed and robbed by street kids
llook up into the stars
out in the cold winter night
MMFW I lest my hand, my youth, my marriage, my sen and my innocence
fighting for my country
MMFW I remember all whe did the same
MMFW I would gladly do it again
MMFW my countrymen 300 years later spit on the memery of me, calling me
a worldkiller and a racist
...
+135
Views: 12470
Favorited: 23
Submitted: 03/31/2014
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #8 - coinflipper (04/01/2014) [+] (6 replies)
jokexplain, do you know what's going on here?
User avatar #11 to #8 - moshimoshi (04/01/2014) [-]
I'll help instead. Sweden was a superpower back then, and like everybody declared war against us at once. Our king at the time was Karl XII, also known as "the hero king" or Carolus Rex. He drained Sweden of young males and went to war in Denmark, Poland, Ukraine, Norway etc etc. Long story short, we lost most of our land and Russia became the new superpower.

These days Karl XII is a important part of the neo-nazi imagery, make Sweden great again blah blah. As a consequence (paired with leftist propaganda) it's taboo to have positive feelings for our homeland, singing our national anthem or showing the swedish flag in any way. "What are you, A NAZI?!?"
#3 - hirollin (04/01/2014) [+] (3 replies)
I'm impressed, but I don't fully understand. Who was the guy? Is there some real world occurrence that has happened recently that is making this relevant?
I'm impressed, but I don't fully understand. Who was the guy? Is there some real world occurrence that has happened recently that is making this relevant?
#4 to #3 - sesamfan (04/01/2014) [-]
Basically the great northern war was a testiment to will of swedish soldiers to serve their king without question. They went through all matter of 						****					 and achieved victories that are just absurd like at Narva, Fraustadt and the like.     
   
When I was growing up all we learned of the soldier during the imperial time was that he was a religious maniac that hated everyone and wanted nothing but to plunder and pillage the poor russians and poles. Also the imperial times are basically skipped in the history lessons even though it is a major part of our history and explains the policy of neutrality we have had the last two centuries. The great northern war alone killed off almost 1/5 of our male population.   
   
The character is completely made up, but I might make more stories about him though.
Basically the great northern war was a testiment to will of swedish soldiers to serve their king without question. They went through all matter of **** and achieved victories that are just absurd like at Narva, Fraustadt and the like.

When I was growing up all we learned of the soldier during the imperial time was that he was a religious maniac that hated everyone and wanted nothing but to plunder and pillage the poor russians and poles. Also the imperial times are basically skipped in the history lessons even though it is a major part of our history and explains the policy of neutrality we have had the last two centuries. The great northern war alone killed off almost 1/5 of our male population.

The character is completely made up, but I might make more stories about him though.
User avatar #21 - sarcasticcelery (04/01/2014) [+] (6 replies)
historiexplain
User avatar #24 to #21 - historiexplain (04/01/2014) [-]
What is being described here is the events of the Great Northern War through the eyes of one of the soldiers. The war was between the Swedes (which was a major world power back in the 17-18th century) and the Norwegians/Russians/Saxons. It began when Peter the Great and his cronies from Denmark-Norwayand Saxony-Poland-Lituania contested the supremacy of Charles the 12th (of the swedish empire) The war lasted 21 years and was pretty terrible for the Swedish empire, as they lost their king, and 200,000 people, and 250,00 square miles, a long with major cities with advantages such as ports and strategic locations.
#1 - drekker (04/01/2014) [+] (37 replies)
False, thirty years war happened from 1618-1648.
False, thirty years war happened from 1618-1648.
#2 to #1 - sesamfan (04/01/2014) [-]
Great northern war broseph(1701-1721)
#59 - davidteninch (04/01/2014) [+] (2 replies)
Just gonna point out it was Prussia, not Germany as the country hadn't formed, who declared war with everyone else on Sweden.

Still a lovely greentext whitetext though.
#35 - anonymous (04/01/2014) [+] (2 replies)
Hor vart stridsrop, Gott Mit Uns.
#19 - anonymous (04/01/2014) [-]
>mfw you did it all so jews could turn your countrymen into this
#58 - jdizzleoffthehizzl (04/01/2014) [-]
Well we've all been there
User avatar #57 - aabbccddeeffgghhii (04/01/2014) [-]
What really got me in this was "Apparently we are invading Norway now"

All that **** that went on. All the deaths, war and miles marched/backtracked and they still invaded Norway for reasons the troops probably didn't understand. How the **** was that even possible to do with all the **** that was going on?

"Apparently." ******* sums up how pointless was is 90% of the time.
#49 - holyjebus (04/01/2014) [-]
This was a surprisingly good read, make moare!
User avatar #20 - ranzoray (04/01/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Question for OP, are blacks and muslims really a problem in Sweden, or is it all largely exaggeration?
#13 - slesbian (04/01/2014) [+] (2 replies)
jokexplain halp
User avatar #6 - sinery (04/01/2014) [-]
Never heard of such an accusation the last sentence during my 18 year here.
#10 - anonymous (04/01/2014) [-]
You ******* suck this is ****
User avatar #7 - husidusidu (04/01/2014) [-]
Look at all those pseudo patriots without experience in war. Sweden evolved. People become crazy during wars, there is nothing to be proud of, no matter at wich site of the trench you shoot. War sucks, nationalism sucks. Had to get used with it when I was 6, now it's your turn you proud pseudo patrios.
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