It's late. I'm at my best friends house and we are sitting side by side playing World of Warcraft. We've both been playing all night and are pretty tired. Suddenly a mouse runs across the living room and into the kitchen. "That ******!" yells my friend, "I've been trying to catch that mouse all ******* winter!" See it run under the stove, it has no place to go. *****************.jpeg. Grab my shoe, he grabs a shoe. We both emit war cries and come at the stove from opposite sides. We start banging on the bottom of the stove whooping violently to try to scare it out. No luck. We open the storage drawer of the stove. "Can you see it?" i ask, froth dripping from my gasping mouth. He turns to me with bloodshot eyes "Its in the back corner, I'll flush it out." grabs a long doiley and starts poking around the back of the stove. "It's coming, IT'S COMING! GET IT!" He screams, spittle flying from his mouth. Suddenly the mouse comes out, goes about six inches and stops. I look at it. It looks at me. We stare into each others eyes for a fraction of a second. Feel's like an eternity. I see deep rooted fear in the mouses eyes. It must have a family. Flashes of this mouses life go through my brain, odd kid out at school, parents always expected too much from him, not many friends, finds a girl, falls in love, goes to college, becomes successful mouse Realtor, settles down and has kids. I have a job to do though, Raise the shoe, slow motion activated. The shoe descends, i use every fiber of my being to pull this shoe earthward, veins pop out on my skin, my eyes bulge, i begin to scream as the shoe descends. He has nowhere to go, this is going to happen, he knows it, i know it. Shoe reaches terminal velocity, my lungs are bleeding from the loudness of my yell, sounds like i'm releasing the Kraken. Impact. The shoe heel instantly crushes its skull. The mouse curls into a ball and spasms briefly. A piece of my soul just died. I feel like the worst person in the world. We decide to give the mouse a proper send off, put it in matchbox, say a few words. bury it outside under a pine tree. Feelsgoodman.jpeg. Tears of manliness on my face, you will always be remembered.
TL;DR mouse was kill.