Bags of holding actually have a finite amount of space in them.

I'm sure it can hold a half dozen kobolds or so.
If nothing else vomitting a small squad of Kobolds at your enemies can be considered distracting.

also the kobolds would be dead i believe. could be helpful for intimidation if you vomited up dead bodies at someones feet

Also had the idea of eating someone and vomitting a different skeleton as intimidation

See below, we improved the concept using a plane in permanent time stop. They don't need air, food, or a restroom since time doesn't move. Logistically convenient!

Genius!

Right, I forgot the most important part. If living creatures are placed in the bag of holding, they can only survive for ten minutes before running out of air and suffocating.

perfect

I've done some math for you. I have a math disability too, so I hope you appreciate it.

The most expensive Bag of Holding costs 10k gold, can hold 150 cubic feet, and can hold 1500 pounds.

Kobolds are small-size creatures. Small creatures are between 2 and 4 feet, so let's average that to 3 and square it for each one because I'm a lazy **** . For 10k gold, you could hold 84 (rounded up) kobolds by volume. By weight, a small creature is an average of 34lbs. By weight, you could contain 44 kolbolds in the largest-size Bag of Holding.

Unrelated, for the same price of that bag of holding, you could purchase 100k live rats.

Well if you can't fit enough stuff inside it, just put more bags of holding inside!

I'm just kidding, do not do that
Actually, totally do that

I don't want to rip a hole into the Astral Plane, thanks.

Hell, just don't stand anywhere near it when it happens and it's jolly good fun. Closest you'll get to a medieval WMD.

What if my throat contained some portal to another plane?
Could I then, in theory, support a massive army of various creatures and regurgitate them at will?

Theoretically you could get a wizard to cast Demiplane (preferably Greater Demiplane because you can do things like stop time and make it really nice and livable), with a Portal option in your mouth. Anything large enough to fit inside your mouth would then be transported to the demiplane, and you could probably order them out.

If time wasn't stopped inside the plane would everything inside the plane hear every word you spoke as a booming voice from the heavens?

I don't think sound travels through portals, but it's up to the discretion of the GM.

I might be able to conjure some form of physics mechanism where I have both storage space and a minion cannon
Imagine eating an NPC and vomitting a skeleton, bluffing that it's THEIR skeleton
That's one hell of an intimidate roll

You have some pretty specific fetishes sir.

One might presume so but it's simply hilarity

1d4chan.org/wiki/Peasant_Railgun Here's my favorite silly thing to do.

I can't think of the weapons name, but theres a mace that upon making contact, switches the involved players roles, including DM i put it in all of my stories with a .01% chance to drop, someone got it once and quickly realized the effort it takes to DM.

And obviously DM'ing is gonna be difficult when you just randomly become the DM during somebody elses campaign with no prior experience.

Oh yeah, obviously, but the same group has someone who said they could dm better, and i let them try, they used one of my stories, it has every detail you need to know about it, when push came to shove, just after character creation he said he didn't understand my patients and asked to switch with me.

At least he didn't let it drag on.