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#31
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bohemianblasphemy (01/01/2016) [-] 
My friends and I are in the middle of our very first campaign (except for the DM, who has done this tons of times before), and we've already had a share of stupid things happen to us that I could go on for hours about.
We summoned Macho Man Randy Savage to help us fight at one point; he died because the DM forgot to put him into the encounter. He spent 3 turns standing still, taking hits before I noticed.
As a joke, the bi guy in our group decided he'd have a seduction role on one of our enemies. A Nat 20 brought him straight to his knees to suck its dick during combat.
We managed to convince an entire army that I was a king by reciting lines from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Our fighter beat Shrek in an arm wrestle to enlist his help.
Our rogue (the same bi guy) became a sex slave for a group of 6 zombies.
In a single encounter, our barbarian got hit in the head by a turtle shell, rendering him unconscious, and then died because he forgot to follow the rest of the group to a village.
I nearly drowned in quicksand 3 times, and then ended up literally floating over the pit to the other side.
Our paladin once beat a man to death with nothing but a ladder.
Our ranger's animal companion is a spider. So far, we've only used him to send healing items between long distances. His stats are better than the ranger's.
We summoned Macho Man Randy Savage to help us fight at one point; he died because the DM forgot to put him into the encounter. He spent 3 turns standing still, taking hits before I noticed.
As a joke, the bi guy in our group decided he'd have a seduction role on one of our enemies. A Nat 20 brought him straight to his knees to suck its dick during combat.
We managed to convince an entire army that I was a king by reciting lines from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Our fighter beat Shrek in an arm wrestle to enlist his help.
Our rogue (the same bi guy) became a sex slave for a group of 6 zombies.
In a single encounter, our barbarian got hit in the head by a turtle shell, rendering him unconscious, and then died because he forgot to follow the rest of the group to a village.
I nearly drowned in quicksand 3 times, and then ended up literally floating over the pit to the other side.
Our paladin once beat a man to death with nothing but a ladder.
Our ranger's animal companion is a spider. So far, we've only used him to send healing items between long distances. His stats are better than the ranger's.
