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Your D&D Stories 19-23

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Your D&D Stories 19-23. "In the actual submitted story, they included that the character who demanded to fight the dragon actually did fight the dragon, an
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Your D&D Stories 19-23. "In the actual submitted story, they included that the character who demanded to fight the dragon actually did fight the dragon, an
(Enlarge)
Your D&D Stories 19-23. "In the actual submitted story, they included that the character who demanded to fight the dragon actually did fight the dragon, an
(Enlarge)
Your D&D Stories 19-23. "In the actual submitted story, they included that the character who demanded to fight the dragon actually did fight the dragon, an
(Enlarge)
Your D&D Stories 19-23. "In the actual submitted story, they included that the character who demanded to fight the dragon actually did fight the dragon, an
(Enlarge)
Your D&D Stories 19-23. "In the actual submitted story, they included that the character who demanded to fight the dragon actually did fight the dragon, an

"In the actual submitted story, they included that the character who demanded to fight the dragon actually did fight the dragon, and that the dragon killed him. I would’ve included that, but I didn’t want the comic to drag on."


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Your D&D Stories 19-23. "In the actual submitted story, they included that the character who demanded to fight the dragon actually did fight the dragon, an
(Enlarge)
Your D&D Stories 19-23. "In the actual submitted story, they included that the character who demanded to fight the dragon actually did fight the dragon, an
(Enlarge)
Your D&D Stories 19-23. "In the actual submitted story, they included that the character who demanded to fight the dragon actually did fight the dragon, an

"*whispers sweet nothings into your ear but in infernal so it’s more like a maddening non-language that sounds of the abyss and feels of a thousand beetles crawling up your spine* ;) "


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Your D&D Stories 19-23. "In the actual submitted story, they included that the character who demanded to fight the dragon actually did fight the dragon, an

“Because yeah, I’m super evil. I mean, I prefer ‘misunderstood’ but objectively I think it’s safe to say I’m just a real bad guy.”


Your D&D Stories 19-23. "In the actual submitted story, they included that the character who demanded to fight the dragon actually did fight the dragon, an
Your D&D Stories 19-23. "In the actual submitted story, they included that the character who demanded to fight the dragon actually did fight the dragon, an

“This is not ‘a few extra.’“


(Enlarge)
Your D&D Stories 19-23. "In the actual submitted story, they included that the character who demanded to fight the dragon actually did fight the dragon, an
(Enlarge)
Your D&D Stories 19-23. "In the actual submitted story, they included that the character who demanded to fight the dragon actually did fight the dragon, an

"<Later, standing over grave with remaining party members> There is nothing I could have done."

That's the last of it. Not my OC. All these comics are made by AC Stuart over on his tumblr - yourdndstories.tumblr.com/

Tags: DnD | comics
Your DEB Stories #19
From Arlyne Blackbear:
...
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Submitted: 01/01/2016
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+40
#7 - thelastelephant ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
>playing a dragonborn favored soul, level 17
>been saving all of my money
>somewhere around 800,000 gold stored in a bank
>been rather poorly equipped, +2 mithral plate and adamantine longsword
>gm has been wondering why I haven't been buying new gear
>go to the market, blow it all at once
>upgrade the **** out of my armor with enhancement bonuses and death ward
>upgrade longsword to +7 with Fleshgrinding
>gm lets me rev it like a chainsword
>leave the market with 41 AC and an adamantine chainsword
>I'm the goddamn healer, too
>how it felt to go into battle
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+19
#15 to #7 - anon (01/01/2016) [-]
**anonymous used "*roll picture*"**
**anonymous rolled image**Words can not describe
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+13
#16 to #15 - thelastelephant ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
When did Lone Fisticuffs Individual get so intense?
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+7
User avatar #18 to #16 - boxcarracer ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
That's like from the first episode dude.
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+10
#19 to #18 - thelastelephant ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
I've only seen clips on YouTube

I feel like such a pleb.
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+55
#17 - lolollo ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
DM: You approach the sphinx, who stares on at you in a bored gaze.
Wizard: Hello?
Sphinx: Hello?
Wizard: We are here...for...access...intothetemple?
Sphinx: Are you lot here for *the name of the DM's in game character*?
Wizard: We...are...?
Sphinx: Oh good, you just need to answer a riddle for access. Shapeshifters, spies, all that crap. What can you hold without using your hands?
Wizard: You wanna get at this Paladin, you've got the highest charisma.
Paladin: *shouts* MY DICK!
Wizard: We uh...are there other riddles you can ask?
Sphinx: No, he said you might be like this...just go in.
0
#40 to #17 - ciacheczko has deleted their comment [-]
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+1
#41 to #17 - pillows ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]
I'd say a conversation, but it seems like a lot of people I encounter can't seem to talk for five seconds without simultaneously performing a puppet show
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+17
#30 to #17 - bemmo (01/01/2016) [-]
GIF
Your breath.
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+22
User avatar #2 - asthmetheus (01/01/2016) [-]
Can you start a mention list?
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-2
#57 to #2 - bronywiseman (01/02/2016) [-]
Sign me up, baby.
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0
User avatar #59 to #57 - tezel [OP](01/02/2016) [-]
no
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+4
User avatar #14 to #2 - misterdiddly (01/01/2016) [-]
SIGN ME THE **** UP
Reply
0
User avatar #58 to #14 - tezel [OP](01/02/2016) [-]
no
Reply
+7
User avatar #3 to #2 - tezel [OP](01/01/2016) [-]
I'd love to, but all the content I'm likely to post, I have already posted, bro. You can always go to the artists tumblr page to see if he updates it.
Reply
0
User avatar #63 to #3 - zaxzwim (01/07/2016) [-]
do it
Reply
0
User avatar #64 to #63 - tezel [OP](01/07/2016) [-]
no
Reply
0
User avatar #65 to #64 - zaxzwim (01/07/2016) [-]
ur mean
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0
User avatar #66 to #65 - tezel [OP](01/07/2016) [-]
ye
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0
User avatar #67 to #66 - zaxzwim (01/07/2016) [-]
but y
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0
User avatar #69 to #68 - zaxzwim (01/07/2016) [-]
this makes me sad
Reply
+7
User avatar #4 to #2 - zionsype ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
subscribe.
Reply
+20
#25 - JustintheWaysian ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
Party is in a powerful wizard's complex of towers, trying to disable pylons that are powering the towers' protective shields. Planar rifts are opening in the towers. We have 6 party members are we are cramped in the narrow staircases and small rooms.

DM: You guys are descending down the narrow spiral staircase.

Barbarian: I want to be in the front in case we encounter anything bad.

DM: Stepping down from the last step of this flight of stairs, you enter a room that is merely 15x15. Before you is a Muladeus(sp?) that attacks you as you enter the room.

Sorcerer: Knowledge check to know what it is!

DM: Having some knowledge of hellish creatures, you know that the Muladeus is a kind of demon that are typically generals that lead legions of demons. They are like jackal humanoids with a snake-like creature in their chest that lashes out with powerful poisons.

DM: Barbarian, you take 45~ damage from its attacks and the snake lashes out from its chest, sinking its fangs into you, draining you of 7 Constitution.

*everybody holy ***** at this point*

Orc Fighter: I push my way past the others and Sparta Kick it.

Sorcerer: ARE YOU ******* KIDDING ME?! THAT THING ALMOST ONE-SHOT HIM AND OF ALL THE THINGS YOU COULD DO, YOU'RE GOING TO SPARTA KICK IT?!!!!!

*Orc Fighter rolls 3 consecutive natural 20s, in plain sight for the entire table to see. Everybody is roaring with laughter and our Orc Fighter looks at our Sorcerer with a huge *********** grin*

DM: You sparta kick it, blasting a hole through the body of the Muladeus with your boot and sending it crashing into the wall on the other side of the room. It is not moving anymore.

Orc Fighter: Damn straight.

*Our Sorcerer proceeds to keep his mouth shut about less-than-optimal actions for the rest of the session. Our DM turned our Orc Fighter's boots into a magical item called "Striders of Demonbane", which began to instill an irrational fear into demons that caught sight of the boots.*
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+19
User avatar #33 to #25 - mangostormlegend (01/01/2016) [-]
One Kick Rick
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+6
#38 to #33 - JustintheWaysian ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]
5/7 did not expect that
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+25
#20 - lorinthium (01/01/2016) [-]
GIF
i havn't played much D&D but i have one story.
> Be Ranger Dark Elf Nuetral Good in a party of 6.
> Groups Paladin and me become friends and partners in goodness
> DM is someone who likes to follow story nomatter alignment
> But us Good guys dont allow evil under any circumstances!
> So group is hired to find some wizard who has a key to some "secret" yadayada
> and along our way to the city he is in we stop in a village full of elders.
> The village is being harrassed by bandits and asks our help to slaughter them.
> Our money greedy leader accepts for us so we head out.
> Find the bandits right away in an abandoned barn
> They charge out to meet us and we see theyre all grown men
> this is where it gets good.
> the other 4 members get immediately ready to kill the bandits
> but me and my partner have different plans in store
> these bandits are obviously just fallen men who have strayed from goodness
> So we decide to do the good cop bad cop and make them quit their banditry
> the DM does not want this because apparently its "part of the story" psh
> so after much debate he says we both have to roll above 18
> we roll a 20 and a 19
> DM almost cried but manned up and said fine do it but make it convincing
> so thus begins my goo cop hour long speech of how they are disappointing their families and they should go back
> While bad cop paladin sppech involved many slurs and bitch slaps if they spoke during my speech.
> in the end the DM and the bandits surrendered to my wonderful heartfelt story and agreed to return home
> which happened to be the village that hired us
> The DM had planned for us to kill the bandits, lvl up and get loot, and then find out we had killed all the elders descendants who were being rebelious.
> and then some story thing would occur
> MFW we brought a village back together as family
> MFW our DM is an Evil man who can not stand against our goodness.
> MFW bad cop paladin chose to physically represent his bitch slap and slurs on the DM
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+1
User avatar #56 to #20 - thesoulseeker (01/02/2016) [-]
On the one hand the DM should try to mold the story around the things the party does in the case of my party it's utter ******** 86% of the time .
On the other hand a DM can spend a lot of time making a story and the players can just happen to **** up a key element, which is a pain in the arse for the DM.
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+11
#11 - tacticalbacon (01/01/2016) [-]
>playing home brew campaign
>party is in the wild running low on food
>remember I can cook nettles for food
>do inventory check to see how much I have
>100
>DM says "roll again"
>another 100
>accidentally become a minor deity of stinging nettles
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+7
User avatar #12 to #11 - feelythefeel (01/01/2016) [-]
>never get stung by nettles again
I'd love this super power.
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+3
#13 to #12 - tacticalbacon (01/01/2016) [-]
It also resulted in a bad a holding filled with nettles
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+6
#32 - brokenboulevard (01/01/2016) [-]
only dnd session worth mention.

>Be a halfling, get into a town with an orc and a mule named Merric
>Orc takes the mule to the stable to watch the wagon and let Merric rest.
>Its only me now and I decide to go to the Tavern and try to listen into some juicy gossip.
>Get there order food and order a drink.
> Run into a Half-elf and we start drinking more.
>Keeping in mind im a Halfing so It wont take many pints to get me ****** up.
>End up getting super ********* with the Half-elf.
>Run into a few ruffians from a gang I used to be in.
>Words were said and a bar fight breaks out
>I slip out of the tavern and meet back up with my group.
>We find a caravan that was attacked, no one was spared not even the horse.
>Roll for perception and find a trail where a group of goblins had been.
>Follow the trail end up falling into a 10 foot hole in a drunken fit.
>My group cant find me so im screaming to help them find me.
>Finally they find me and they lower a rope down to get me
>once im at the top I throw up and they toss me into the wagon and head back to the town to rest for the day.
>Mfw we lost a day of progress bc i got drunk and fell down a hole.
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+4
#61 - thundergyra (01/02/2016) [-]
>Didn't want the comic to drag on
>Drag on
>Dragon
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+4
#31 - bohemianblasphemy (01/01/2016) [-]
My friends and I are in the middle of our very first campaign (except for the DM, who has done this tons of times before), and we've already had a share of stupid things happen to us that I could go on for hours about.


We summoned Macho Man Randy Savage to help us fight at one point; he died because the DM forgot to put him into the encounter. He spent 3 turns standing still, taking hits before I noticed.

As a joke, the bi guy in our group decided he'd have a seduction role on one of our enemies. A Nat 20 brought him straight to his knees to suck its dick during combat.

We managed to convince an entire army that I was a king by reciting lines from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Our fighter beat Shrek in an arm wrestle to enlist his help.

Our rogue (the same bi guy) became a sex slave for a group of 6 zombies.

In a single encounter, our barbarian got hit in the head by a turtle shell, rendering him unconscious, and then died because he forgot to follow the rest of the group to a village.

I nearly drowned in quicksand 3 times, and then ended up literally floating over the pit to the other side.

Our paladin once beat a man to death with nothing but a ladder.

Our ranger's animal companion is a spider. So far, we've only used him to send healing items between long distances. His stats are better than the ranger's.
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+3
User avatar #21 - Endofzeeworld (01/01/2016) [-]
I didn't think evil clerics could cast heal spells.
Maybe that's just Pathfinder though.
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+2
User avatar #26 to #21 - psykobear (01/01/2016) [-]
Even in Pathfinder they can.

An Evil Cleric:
A) Cannot channel positive energy. Only channels negative
B) Cannot cast spells of the [Good] descriptor

Fortunately, the Cure spells are not of the [Good] descriptor.
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+2
User avatar #28 to #26 - Endofzeeworld (01/01/2016) [-]
But they cant spontaneously cast cure, right? They can only replace spells with inflict wounds?
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+2
User avatar #29 to #28 - psykobear (01/01/2016) [-]
Correct.
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+1
User avatar #27 to #26 - Endofzeeworld (01/01/2016) [-]
Ohhh, I thought Cure spells were good. I'm wrong. Boom.
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+4
User avatar #22 to #21 - mangostormlegend (01/01/2016) [-]
Ah but you see, there is infinite capacity for evil with healing spells

Did your party just fight a horde of zombies? Revive them all and run off giggling. Later explain to your party that you thought they were becoming zombies themselves so you couldn't tell them apart.

Did you find a lone traveller in grave need of healing? First punch them unconscious. Then steal all of their belongings and only THEN heal them. Just tell them you knocked them out so they wouldn't feel the pain, and that a random kobold took their stuff.
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0
User avatar #36 to #22 - schneidend (01/02/2016) [-]
Zombies, like most basic bitch undead, are destroyed once defeated, and usually cannot be reanimated. Also, healing spells harm them.

If you're evil, why waste the spell? Just take their **** and leave them for dead.
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+3
#39 - nozone (01/02/2016) [-]
I dont have much but theres one story that i remember
> Thief in a nice group of 5 people
> At the start DM created a rule where we could get a higer level ability in exchange for a random crippling downside
> Our Druid and Paladin take that
> Druid gets uncontrollably horny when he sees animals of the oposite sex and Paladin is a realy big alcoholic
> We are in a dungeon of a dream genie
> As we progress he manages to trap us in his dream
> We walk into a forest with a wierd river
> Paladin and Druid both start acting wierd
> Suddenly a gigantic wolf apears out of nowhere
> We all hide behind the Druid and Paladin since they have the best tank stats
> Our mage starts channeling his spell, cleric gets ready to heal and i atempt to sneak up behind the wolf
> DM tells Druid and Paladin to roll resist rolls
> 3 and 7
> Suddenly Druid transforms into a dog and runs up to the wolf
> He stars humping the wolfs leg
> Whatever we still got the paladin to defend us
> Wolf atacks paladin and throws him into the river
> Paladin has to roll resistance again
> 4
> He takes off his helmet and starts drinking from the river
> Its beer
> Without defense Mage and Cleric get destroyed
> Paladin drowns in beer and Druid leaves with the wolf to engage in hot sexual intercourse
> mfw
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+1
#5 - brozetop (01/01/2016) [-]
**brozetop used "*roll picture*"**
**brozetop rolled image** why post this in multiple posts like this is it because of thumbs
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+2
User avatar #6 to #5 - agreatusername (01/01/2016) [-]
To keep people interested.
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0
User avatar #60 to #6 - tezel [OP](01/02/2016) [-]
This one. I don't like scrolling through really long posts, so I didn't make one. The links to the other posts were shameless thumbwhoring though
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#8 to #6 - brozetop (01/01/2016) [-]
**brozetop used "*roll picture*"**
**brozetop rolled image** Ok I can see that, reason as being valid long posts do bore, however my issue is that he released all of this at the same time with links to the other ones. this seems like he is having people thumb the content more rather than 1 long post where each person only thumbs once.
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User avatar #9 to #8 - agreatusername (01/01/2016) [-]
I mean, either way, they were fun.
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User avatar #10 to #9 - brozetop (01/01/2016) [-]
yes, that is true its pretty funny
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+2
User avatar #24 - marconde ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
As someone who has played just once DnD, I don't understand how the rolls work
Only the 0 - 20 one
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+1
#46 - dehnoobshow ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]
Here's my experience with d&d

dndxplain asks me to play
I do it but warn that I know nothing
Wanted to be a cleric, to be of some form of use to my party.
Get convinced to play Paladin, not warned about anything.
"Okay, make your inventory"
Get confused at the whole list of stuffs. Unsure what 75% of them do.
Can't ask dndxplain because he's the DM.
Take all the days 'til the session to pick out my stuff due to content where a new guy picked items and everyone judged him and I didn't want to be another one of those people.
Start at 10 PM, on a Friday night (Note this is when I was still in school)
It starts, spend an hour waiting for everyone. 11 PM now
Spend roughly 20 minutes listening to DM talk about the lore behind the thing we're gonna do.
I was awake at 6 AM that day, start to get a bit sleepy
Party in a chapel, listening to the gods we chose.
Still don't catch on to the problem with me being a Paladin because everything sounds normal.
Get teleported, more long speeches from DM.
Sleepy, spaz out during most of it.
End up in city.
Old asian man walking down on street.
Monk instantly decides to kill old man
Does so.
I'm sitting here like what?
Finds a note on old man.
"Let's read it"
"Nah, it isn't safe"
"Okay, is a toilet safe?"
"yes"
"Let's find a toilet"
"You can't because it's an unknown area"
Part rolls to find a toilet, DM makes it difficult for some reason, so difficult that if I don't get a 20, I would never succeed.
Party gives up and decides it's easier to make an alchemical toilet.
They succeed.
Something something, I was spazzing out.

1/2
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+1
#48 to #46 - dehnoobshow ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]
2/2 We're on what I gathered an airship.
I believe our bard, being a bard, tried to **** a girl on the ship.
"Hey she's easier than finding a toilet"
Everyone laughs, I fake laughter.
He eventually suceeds,
DM: "She's into anal, but not recieving"
bard gets pegged.
Dragon shows up.
Initiate.
I get a 1.
Doesn't matter, dragon would've been dead before my turn because monk.
Plot armor.
Ship destroyed.
We're on an island.
Another guy decides to turn me into a 9 year old.
ForWhatPurpose.png
I fail save because I was forced to get a 20 to save.
Pass out for a few minutes.
Wake up and it seems no one noticed.
Same guy now has skeleton servants. Not even for combat. Just to hoist him up because he doesn't want to walk.
Why.
We go deeper into the forest.
Need to cross.
Only one unable to cross.
Get thrown face first into the dirt on the other side.
Meet old orc.
I check the time.
6:30 AM.
Session shows no sign of stopping.
Tell them I have to leave because sleep.

Next day, get skype call.
One party member and DM.
That's where any motivation to continue was crushed.
Reminded that party is all Chaotic Neutral and I'm Lawful good because Paladin.
Revealed to me RIGHT THEN that I would be forced to either convince my party or kill them all at the end.
Their willsaves would be too stronk.
"So you just got to kill them then"
They literally could roll a 7 and kill me in one hit.
I have to get a 20, 19 wouldn't even scratch them.
Dropped out entirely next session.
Feel judged because of that.
Putting it in words, it sounds like they did the whole thing just to **** with me.
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User avatar #53 to #48 - dndxplain ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]
also, what's this about will saves? I don't do rolling against party members
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User avatar #54 to #53 - dehnoobshow ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]
For turning my paladin into a 9 year old:
Magic was used against me. It was a normal thing to do
As for convincing, I had two possibilities in my head for that part. Either the saves would be too stronk.
Or simple the people playing as them would just say no.
Still
The odds were massively stacked against me and you know my tendency to give up.
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User avatar #49 to #48 - dndxplain ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]
nah. decay's an asshole
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User avatar #50 to #49 - dehnoobshow ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]
But you gave me one good chuckle.
"I have a questiorino"
"I have an answerino"
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User avatar #51 to #50 - dndxplain ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]
still wish you would try it again
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#55 to #51 - dehnoobshow ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]
I have told you my conditions.
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User avatar #62 - jaknova (01/06/2016) [-]
>I'm DMing
>in cave with wolf
>Warrior throws Javelin at it, rolls 1
>bounces off wall and implants in wizards leg, falls in river
>rogue on other side shoots arrow at wolf, rolls 1
>arrow flys at warrior, smacks helm hard, nocks her off balanced
>tell archer beside her to roll d20, first seccessful roll entire turn
>archer duck rabidly swinging greataxe
>wolfs turn, leaps on wizard, both submerged in river nashing at his neck
>wizard casts lighting touch
>WTF
>wolf dead, wizard and rogue knocked out but survived
>archer and warrior carries wizard out of river
>hears rushing water
> giant wall of water hits party hard
>warrior survives and keeps hold of archer and wizard
>pour half-ling is nowhere in sight
>rogue is 50 ft away from mouth of cave hanging from tree out cold and and unhappy.

More to story if you wish to hear
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User avatar #52 - stickmanz (01/02/2016) [-]
We ended a campaign at the top of a collapsing tower on top of a mountain, pretty basic place, but unfortunately since the wizard who was holding up the tower was just murdered to death the whole thing was coming down. Now this is no big deal since we still had a wand of feather fall kicking around, which the barbarian promptly took, smacked himself with (he didn't have the skill to use magic objects like that or what ever) and just jumped off a couple hundred feet. Pretty funny, great way to end a campaign
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User avatar #47 - rtsgamer (01/02/2016) [-]
Party is on a boat when a storm starts. Storm is terrible lightning, ship is completely gets destroyed. I am playing an illusionist. I roll initiative, so the first thing I do is roll for a perception check. I roll an 18. I hear wings flapping in the distance. My character was an illusionist and I had been drinking ALOT. So I decided it was a good idea to summon an illusion of a dragon. The second I do that the DM looks at me and just get's ******* livid with me.

DM: Storm dissipates, no one was hurt.

Turns out the storm was caused by a thunderbird, who are scared of dragons.
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#43 - gcaboose (01/02/2016) [-]
Our fighter only cared about fighting enemies so when we went to loot she stayed at the door we were gonna go into next. I grabbed a headband from a chest we opened and went to meet with her but she got bored and started cutting down the door so I helped.

I am a naked monk that fights with his bare hands and just punched a door clean off because our fighter kept missing his swings.
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User avatar #42 - Nihatclodra (01/02/2016) [-]
I would send in some of my stories so he could draw them... but **** making a tumblr account for it.

>My first Pathfinder Campaign
>Mythic Gnome Bard (Prankster Archetype, Marshal-Trickster Dual-Mythic Path)
>Joined party after getting saved from a mama-bear, who was angry my gnome was teaching her cub how to make fireworks from scratch
>Eventually, several levels down the line, the party comes across a Neutral Evil Mythic Male Winter Wolf.
>As the rest of the party prepares to fight... my gnome does what my gnome does; ridiculous **** that works for no apparent reason
>Diplomacy check the Wolf
>Eventually the diplomacy starts sounding like a Job interview.
>Agrees to "hire" the Winter Wolf's services as a companion
> ******* huge Teamwork level
>Wolf is reluctant, so I bribe him with the greatest potion ever invented by my DM
>A Permanent Gender-Changing Potion
>3 Diplomacy Checks, a Bluff Check, and a wicked drum-solo
>I now have a Mythic Transgender True Neutral Winter Wolf companion, with class levels (I forget which class)
>I get her fitted with Plate Armour, Bitches love Plate Armour.
>Wolf has 80+ AC and DR 20/- by level 20
>Breath Attack every 1d4 (or 1d6, can't remember) rounds, vicious claws and teeth that trip with every hit, ***** **** up
>Greatest Battle-Mount ever
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User avatar #44 to #42 - Nihatclodra (01/02/2016) [-]
>Same character
>Group is fighting a Gargantuan White Dragon (Well, dude who transformed into one at least) in the courtyard of some enemy fortress
>Get sudden urge to try my newest spell
>Waves of Ecstacy
>Dragon Will-saves... and rolls a 1
>Dragon cums with the force of 1000 white-hot burning suns
>Walled-off courtyard now a 1.5 foot-deep dragon-cum pool
>Dragon stunned by pleasure and can't stop cumming
>Assassin has feat to coup-de-grace stunned opponents
>Dragon-cum pool now mixing with copious amounts of Dragon blood, rising the deepness to 2 feet
>Grease the doorway and hall to the courtyard
>Bait all the guards to chase us, towards the grease
>Guards all slip-and-slide into the Grand Pool of Dragon Essence
>Enter the fortress, and lock the door behind us
>Eventually we make it to the BBEG of the fortress, asking wtf we did to all his guards
>I told him they were busy having the orgy of the century
>He took exception to that... for 3 rounds before he came to my spell and got assassinated

Thus started our group's go-to strategy to defeat EVERYTHING, and also began our DM running out of "Immune to Mind-affecting" creatures and having to make some homebrew so we wouldn't steamroll everything with pleasure and assassination.
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User avatar #45 to #44 - Nihatclodra (01/02/2016) [-]
Right, forgot to add: the "Dragon Essence Pool" ended up a thick pink mush of 3.5 feet by the time we left... taller than my bard.
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