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Your D&D Stories 13-15

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Your D&D Stories 13-15. "Talk about a buzzkill." "Head-canon: The rest of the party was killed and eaten. Turning to the last remaining member, s
(Enlarge)
Your D&D Stories 13-15. "Talk about a buzzkill." "Head-canon: The rest of the party was killed and eaten. Turning to the last remaining member, s
(Enlarge)
Your D&D Stories 13-15. "Talk about a buzzkill." "Head-canon: The rest of the party was killed and eaten. Turning to the last remaining member, s
(Enlarge)
Your D&D Stories 13-15. "Talk about a buzzkill." "Head-canon: The rest of the party was killed and eaten. Turning to the last remaining member, s

"Talk about a buzzkill."


(Enlarge)
Your D&D Stories 13-15. "Talk about a buzzkill." "Head-canon: The rest of the party was killed and eaten. Turning to the last remaining member, s

"Head-canon: The rest of the party was killed and eaten. Turning to the last remaining member, something about the healer’s peaceful slumber softens the hearts of the wolves. They adopt the healer into their pack and have many fantastic adventures in the deep woods. Later, the wolves are attacked in the middle of the night by an adventuring party, and the healer sleeps through the whole battle."


(Enlarge)
Your D&D Stories 13-15. "Talk about a buzzkill." "Head-canon: The rest of the party was killed and eaten. Turning to the last remaining member, s
(Enlarge)
Your D&D Stories 13-15. "Talk about a buzzkill." "Head-canon: The rest of the party was killed and eaten. Turning to the last remaining member, s
(Enlarge)
Your D&D Stories 13-15. "Talk about a buzzkill." "Head-canon: The rest of the party was killed and eaten. Turning to the last remaining member, s
(Enlarge)
Your D&D Stories 13-15. "Talk about a buzzkill." "Head-canon: The rest of the party was killed and eaten. Turning to the last remaining member, s
(Enlarge)
Your D&D Stories 13-15. "Talk about a buzzkill." "Head-canon: The rest of the party was killed and eaten. Turning to the last remaining member, s

"Make like a tree and stand by as your friends are slaughtered."

Not my OC. Made by AC Stuart, if you couldn't tell.
Link to his tumblr - yourdndstories.tumblr.com/

Tags: DnD | comics
From tamriel:
One time I played a wizard who got blackfoot drunk.
l {HIM
HM) ENOUGH f
...
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Views: 40105
Favorited: 73
Submitted: 01/01/2016
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+101
User avatar #1 - gunmandude (01/01/2016) [-]
That last one got me to laugh really hard.
Reply
+8
User avatar #43 to #1 - heroofkvatch (01/01/2016) [-]
Played an orc in an all human super religious town that thought i was a demon.
Our wizard came to break me out of jail.
I had a "blood rage" ability, basically at the sight of blood i have a ptsd flashback to when my tribe was slaughtered in front of me as a child by those who imprisoned me.

Attack anything on sight, wizard uses illusion to appear as a table top everyone else

Guards corner me, i each for the only weapon i can find.
Its my wizard, who looks like a table.
I pick him up, despite his pleas to stop
swing him at gaurds.
Roll strength for damage
Nat 20
He hits the guards with such strength he and the guards die on impact.

Carry the corpse of my wizard friend through the dungeon, beating guards and using it as a shield at one point to block arrows and flaming oil that they where trying to pour on me.

Reply
+82
#9 - thelastelephant ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
>playing D&D 3.5
>basically first character, but not first session
>Female Duskblade with 6 CHA, 18 STR, 16 INT, around Level 8
>play as mopey, introverted, lacking in confidence
>can easily kill just about anything our level
>camping out in woods in a shelter summoned by wizard
>ambushed by orcs
>wizard can only teleport so many people
>play that I'll throw my life away so that the party may survive
>exit shelter while wizard teleports away, greatsword in hand
>orcs move to surround me
>Quick cast true strike, swing at first orc
>cleave through the first rank of six orcs
>five foot step, great cleave time
>Second swing cuts down the next seven around me
>in two attacks I've wiped out two-thirds of the enemy force
>DM roles morale check, orcs flee
>mfw

I have a couple other fun stories if anyone cares
Reply
+3
#34 to #9 - anon (01/01/2016) [-]
How in the world did you make your Duskblade so powerful?
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+1
User avatar #46 to #34 - thelastelephant ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
As they are, they're sort of a silly and broken class. Add some fighter feats and they get ridiculous.
Reply
+3
#59 to #9 - Javapenguin (01/02/2016) [-]
im glad you finally got off that boat m8
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+4
User avatar #13 to #9 - klina (01/01/2016) [-]
******* kek
Reply
+4
#18 to #9 - vytros (01/01/2016) [-]
Wow didn't expect someone to use the reaction image I made several months back.

Also lel, the power of Nat20?
Reply
+3
User avatar #21 to #18 - thelastelephant ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/trueStrike.htm

Quick cast this to guarantee my first hit. All I have to do is not roll a 1.
Reply
+1
#22 to #21 - vytros (01/01/2016) [-]
Nice
Reply
+5
User avatar #16 to #9 - geofalke (01/01/2016) [-]
sounds like the time my party was escorting a bunch of settlers to repopulate a somewhat nearby town that got razed by a dragon our minotaur barbarian could speak draconic and it turns out that the dragon was an angry mom who was pissed that the previous occupants killed her kid. she agreed to leave the new people be if we returned her son's remains (that our druid claimed) minotaur refers to her as milfdragon and is determined to bone her train with her.

on the way we're ambushed by a band of 50 thieves. minotaur wins the initiative check and charges out. he is turned into a pin cushion and knocked out. he had a habbit of doing that the ranger goes next and misses his shot. then my turn comes up. (note: I was playing a half orc paladin of law and civility) DM asks, "alright Geo, what do you do?"

"I roll intimidate"

"you what?"

"I roll to intimidate"

"o...ok roll it"

nat... ******* ...20.....

after a 2 minute pause, DM describes my orc, Drud, standing in the clearing glaring into the trees where the bandits are hiding. he draws a mighty breath and bellows. the bellow gets louder and louder until even the trees themselves are shaking. he bellows for he knows not his true parantage, he bellows for his lost master, he bellows for his hurt student, the minotaur he bellows for the injustice of the situation. as he is bellowing the trees start shaking and he starts to glow with a radiant, holy light. after ******** themselves, all the thieves surrender because they thought Erathus, the goddess of civilization herself was about to kick their **** in, and they volunteer to help us move the settlers. A fair few of them convert and ask if they could help guard the town as repentance.

Drud calmly goes to pick up his foolhardy, insane, minotaur student and patches him up with healing hands after plucking each arrow out to keep him from bleeding out.

there's more that happened but it's a shame the DM didn't actually have much lined up for us, because that was a fun campaign and i liked the character development that we had going on. oh well.
Reply
+3
#26 to #16 - geofalke (01/01/2016) [-]
i think i still have drud's info in my characters folder somewhere in my computer.

he will adventure again.. some day...
Reply
+5
User avatar #19 to #9 - redbannerman (01/01/2016) [-]
I can concur duskblades are op as dicks.
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+5
User avatar #23 to #19 - thelastelephant ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
>int-based spontaneous casters

what the **** were they thinking
Reply
+4
User avatar #24 to #23 - redbannerman (01/01/2016) [-]
If done correctly you can deal over 100 damage at level 5 with a duskblade.

Like... **** that man.
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+2
User avatar #28 to #24 - thelastelephant ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
The way I was setup was terrifying. I had a sword with an elemental gem in it, plus all the spells I could channel.

I was rolling three or four different types of dice every time I landed a hit and was easily outdamaging the spring-attacking, multi-striking ranger.

Shadowbane Inquisitors, though...one-shot an undead dragon at around Level 16.
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+2
User avatar #29 to #28 - redbannerman (01/01/2016) [-]
That's nothing, I remember playing as a scout that could deal over 100d6. Busted as **** I tell ya.
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+1
User avatar #30 to #29 - thelastelephant ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
Oh god, that one feat that let you stack Ranger and Scout levels in Complete Scoundrel for the purposes of determining class bonuses. **** got broken real quick.

"Let me just force the gestalt mechanic in. Oh, and I'm the only one that gets to do that."
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+1
User avatar #31 to #30 - thelastelephant ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
dndtools.pw/feats/complete-scoundrel--60/swift-hunter--2868/ This is the one. I made a Ranger/Scout with this feat and I was basically a mobile sniper.
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+1
User avatar #33 to #31 - redbannerman (01/01/2016) [-]
Oh....
oh God why?
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+1
User avatar #47 to #33 - thelastelephant ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
Because if you're gonna go hunting, why not be the absolute best at it?
Reply
+25
User avatar #2 - klina (01/01/2016) [-]
>be playing pathfinder
>traveling to far away place
>party of 4, me as the rogue, a monk, a summoner and a sorc
>stop at a marshlands village
>bunch of ugly villagers greet us
>we don't think too much of it
>monk is metagaming as **** and figured out the plot, the rest of us didn't care too much about that so we had no idea what's going on
>random village chick starts hitting on our gnome summoner
>awkward man-on-man RP ensues
>they have sex
>"was it good?" - the summoner
>"she's a biter" - the GM

and that's the story of how half the party contracted were-rat lycantrophy
Reply
+21
User avatar #11 - acrazymonkey ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
>playing pathfinder
>trying out artificer for the hell of it
>have a weird science machine that pumps out 5 explosive runes a day
>have a book of literally 120 pages of only explosive runes
>try to convince enemy to read the book
>they destroy it as it gets thrown at them
>fight begins with about 100 some got destroyed pages of explosive runes raining from the sky
Reply
+14
#5 - ninjabadger (01/01/2016) [-]
I don't remember this tree being here, but damn is it a nice tree.

I think I'll keep it.
Reply
+11
#25 - restorf ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
>Playing 3.5 ed and roll up a rogue who's basically a smartass charlatan.
>Think of goofy name, stick with Sir Falk von Wreathaven the Third.
>Have many silly adventures where Sir Falk tricks everyone that he is an important and very rich nobleman instead of a lying sack of **** .
>Move to Pathfinder, roll up a rogue and name him Sir Falk von Wreathaven the Fourth.
>Make him a smartass Gunslinger/Swashbuckler too for comedic dueling action.
>Frequently mouths off to people and challenges the biggest dudes to one-on-one fights.
>Going to be playing the Warhammer 40k RPG Rogue Trader with some friends.
>Time for Sir Falk von Wreathaven the 8,295th.
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+2
User avatar #35 to #25 - itsapirateslife (01/01/2016) [-]
My name irl is literally Falk. I'm honored.
Reply
+1
User avatar #36 to #35 - itsapirateslife (01/01/2016) [-]
Also rogue trader is the **** (I've heard. Only layed dark heresy and only war)
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+1
User avatar #37 to #36 - restorf ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
Even just quick flip through some of it got me all excited. We might even give Dark Heresy a try too, but that'll probably be much later.
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+1
User avatar #38 to #37 - itsapirateslife (01/01/2016) [-]
RT gives you so much freedom. You literally have a spaceship and crew and can go anywhere you damn well please. I was too late to join my rpg buddies in RT though, already had a party of 7 and the game got too slow Love DH and OW though. Gonna start playing D&D soon, gonna try to be DM for the first time.
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+1
User avatar #39 to #38 - restorf ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
I mostly GM for Pathfinder (Society most games), and I've wanted to get into 5th edition to give it a try. Maybe after some games of Rogue Trader, I'll get into GMing that too.
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+1
User avatar #56 to #39 - itsapirateslife (01/02/2016) [-]
What is Pathfinder exactly?
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+1
User avatar #61 to #56 - restorf ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]
It's usually described as D&D 3.75. It has similar rules but in a different setting and lots of tweaks to the classes. I think it plays quite well.
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+1
User avatar #64 to #61 - itsapirateslife (01/02/2016) [-]
Gonna remember that for later. Just got the 5ed rulebooks though so gonan do that first. thx man
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+11
User avatar #8 - pipeworks (01/01/2016) [-]
During the climax of our last dungeon, there was a mini-boss in the form of an undead knight obsessed with guarding this magical plant

The druid had a lion animal companion. It managed to grapple the knight for a turn, but then the knight managed to roll a 20 and headbutted the lion to death.

The knight then use the lion's corpse as an improvised weapon, and nearly killed the wizard with it.

It was metal as **** .
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+11
#6 - dwarfboy (01/01/2016) [-]
Playing a kobold alchemist in an evil RP with a Wizard, a Barbarian, Rogue, Druid and some homebrew class

We were sent on a stealth mission to infiltrate the drow city and get some information on a secret society

Unfortunately, the party took way too much goddamn time trying to plan this out and I kinda spaced.

When we got there, we found some drow elves on the outskirts of this underdark city. Me, forgetting that this was a stealth mission, tosses a bomb onto the unfortunate drow and vaporize them.

The town lights up its guard towers.

Everyone's looking at me. I just shrug, as the wizard turns into a ******* dragon and starts sieging the city.

That incident was therefore remembered as the 'Best Stealth Mission Ever'
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+5
User avatar #15 - lukethefox (01/01/2016) [-]
I can imagine that drunk wizard hanging out with Rincewind.
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+9
#10 - thelastelephant ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
>be me playing D&D 3.5
>Evil Campaign, whee
>Playing a chaotic evil lycanthrope duskblade
>Extremely temperamental, only thing keeping me from killing our leader is the pay
>Stumble into a swamp, make camp
>Mage and I are on scouting duty
>Mage rolls high on his Search check
>We find a chest filled with gold near the edge of a lake and a flawless diamond atop the coins
>mage wants diamond for spells, I want diamond because it's shiny
>I take it because I'm bigger
>He bluffs me, tells me that its a worthless imitation
>I have next to nothing for sense motive, so I have to believe him
>"Worthless imitation, eh?"
>hurl the diamond into the lake and walk back to camp
>hfw
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+4
#20 - anon (01/01/2016) [-]
Be me joining a pathfinder campaign
> Roll up a monk with 10 strength, 10 con, and 18 wisdom as his stats
> Party doesn't expect him to last long in the campaign
> He outlives the entire original party, through 2 real life years of gaming
> LITERALLY went to hell and back
> Nearly eaten by dragons on three separate occasions
> Won a staring contest with a medusa(Mirrored sunglasses, he's a half-drow, so he needs them to see at day)
> Captured by Anti-paladins, survives their torture long enough for the party to rescue him
> Participated in protecting their home city in the fight with the ultimate army of evil darkness
> Learned the secrets of bringing people back to life, through only his Ki.
> Rediscovers the secrets of the ancient fallen hero, and tracks down said hero's descendants.
> Accidentally releases a Fallen Solar into the world
> Actually retires to fulfill his original goals of building a monastery to teach anyone who wants to learn.
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+1
User avatar #52 - neokun (01/02/2016) [-]
More of this.
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+1
User avatar #54 to #52 - tezel [OP](01/02/2016) [-]
no
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+1
User avatar #32 - aviators (01/01/2016) [-]
one of Joren the Dread Wolf's finest moments as of yet.
3.5
Started as a monk, didn't want weapons so DM gave me gauntlets and was kind.
Let me roll percentage for magical properties.
Got gauntlets of Dragons Bane.
DM laughs "You'll never even see a dragon!"
1 lvl into Monk decide its gay.
Ex-monk, now fighter. (Still get to keep epic hand to hand monk feats tho. aww yis!)
1 module passes, we meet up with a paladin on a quest to kill a dragon.
Almost kills me on the spot because L Evil.
Finally meet dragon.
While others fight i start to disrobe.
Other monk uses stunning fist.
(it's a young adult dragon)
Dragon's at 1/2
Not a nat 20 but its 19 so i crit.
36 as a lvl 4 not bad.
roll to double for dragonbane, 30% chance
Make it.
72 dmg.
RKO the oversized newt.

then the DM tried to kill me with a mimic but after a battle lasting longer than the dragon battle, i was saved, alas my gauntlets were eaten.
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+1
User avatar #27 - feelythefeel (01/01/2016) [-]
"You guys are stupid. See, the dragon'll be looking for adventurers."
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+1
User avatar #14 - wizardspoon (01/01/2016) [-]
Now I really wanna play D&D, but non of my friends would want to.
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+1
User avatar #7 - dehnoobshow ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
One time our DM was so stubborn on "You can't read this it's not safe" that our party just said **** that and made an alchemical toilet.
Just.
To read.
Something.
From then on out we always made Alchemical jokes.

I mean it wasn't a good first experience.
Not to mentionned I originally wanted to be a cleric, but I was convinced, by the DM, to be a Paladin, so I was. Then I learned that by the end of the game I would be forced to either try to kill the rest of my (Literally everyone was Chaotic Evil except for me. I dunno man, edgemasters?) party, or try to convince them.
Here's the kicker. They were all characters that were used before and would squash me effortlessly. I clearly wouldn't be able to convince because edge. My only chance was to get over 3 nat 20s at the end of the game. Which wasn't a good motivator.
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User avatar #17 to #7 - akkere ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
Being a Paladin in a Chaotic Evil party is the worst. It literally becomes a game of looking over your shoulder every goddamn action and constantly throwing perception checks to make sure no one's doing anything slippery.
Had a DM that straight up had us trapped with an intelligent Dragolich that was going to have everyone be his questing adventurers (compatible with everyone but the Pally and me, who was a Neutral Good sorceror, and consequently turn the Paladin into a Death Knight (which would've had him fighting the Dragolich's control at every turn).
We're only third levels by this point, so any hope of beating this thing as a party was pretty minimal, let alone 1v1 which ended up happening with the Paladin, who ended up getting killed.
Fffffffffuuuck that DM.
Reply
+1
#4 - xevilpenguinx (01/01/2016) [-]
>Be playing a Warhammer40k DnD
>Jump in the campaign
>Party is on an Ork ship, going through the warp
>We crash land on a Tyranid infested planet
>The only other person in the party that is at the session leaves the vessel
>I sit on the ship and watch
>2 invisibru tyranids gank his ****
>I'm forced to just watch the battle rage on until someone else in the party arrives to the session
>Waiting for actual hours as the battle goes on, neither side seeming to be winning
Reply
+1
#12 to #4 - anon (01/01/2016) [-]
**** yeah Khorne Flakes
Reply
0
User avatar #65 - elpollolocoloco (01/05/2016) [-]
I only just got the starter set for e5 and we were ambushed pretty quickly by 4 goblins. We killed three instantly, and our mage used presdigitation to create an illusion of the last one's father, and interrogated him with it.
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