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Your D&D Stories 1-3

Your D&D Stories 1-3. "Sort of a fishy premise. When I read it, I cod hardly believe it. I mean, I won’t entirely rule it trout. " "That horse is

"Sort of a fishy premise. When I read it, I cod hardly believe it. I mean, I won’t entirely rule it trout. "


Your D&D Stories 1-3. "Sort of a fishy premise. When I read it, I cod hardly believe it. I mean, I won’t entirely rule it trout. " "That horse is

"That horse is whack with poo-brain."


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Your D&D Stories 1-3. "Sort of a fishy premise. When I read it, I cod hardly believe it. I mean, I won’t entirely rule it trout. " "That horse is

"I’m pretty sure the monster manual explicitly states that goblinoids are super kinky."

Not my OC. Made by AC Stuart if you couldn't tell.
Link to his tumblr - yourdndstories.tumblr.com/

Tags: DnD | comics
m an
syn said:
Once our monk was tired of missing the sharks we were lighting so he rolled to
kiss a mermaid and he rolled a 20 so he touched her boobs and she
immediately tell in love with him
...
+945
Views: 41370
Favorited: 100
Submitted: 01/01/2016
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+21
User avatar #6 - assassindash (01/01/2016) [-]
DND story time.

>I was playing a chaotic evil mage, my DnD group was me, a cleric, a warrior, a ranger, and a rouge.
>We got t a town with zombies wandering everywhere, people changing shortly after we talk to them.
>We eventually meet a priest who says that only people who drink from the holy water aren't affected.
>Apparently he has nice royal looking robes and head gear.
>While my friends were trying to get information, I was drawing my weapon.
>The priest glanced at me nervously, but continued to tell us how a cleric passed through the town recently, but disappeared in the nearby caves.
>Figured that was enough information and I tried to stab the **** out of him.
>I rolled a one and shanked our warrior who was the one talking to him, and scared the **** out of both him and the priest.
>After apologizing the the accidental meat shield, I corrected my mistake and said I was merely aiming for the priest.
>Eventually our cleric, being the goody two shoes he was, grappled me and dragged me out of the church, shortly after the priest barricaded the church.
>When I was asked why I attacked the priest, I said that he was shady as **** , but really, I just wanted to wear his kick ass robes and funny hat.
>(Our rogue later set the place on fire being of the same alignment, and sharing the opinion that churches being fine in a zombie apocalypse is always shady as **** . I could sadly not steal the priests clothes.)
>Anyway, after doing the dungeon the priest told us to do, we found out that the zombie apocalypse was caused by a ring of zombification.
>It was sitting in a well that connected to the lake, and anything that drank from the water of the lake was doomed to be zombified.
>Anyway, after having to swim through the well due to the cave collapsing we all nearly drowned in said death water, and were forced to skedaddle to a nearby town to purify ourselves and destroy the rings curse at yet another church.
>As we traveled, I learned the ring can turn anyone I make contact with into a zombie if I am wearing it, no control, just mindless.
>After we approached the town, I slugged behind the team to put on the ring. (DM had us roll a perspective check. Everyone failed. I used notes so the party wouldn't know what I was doing.)
>After we got to the town I took the "responsibility" of bringing the ring to the churches as the rest of the team did their shopping.
>"Hey, nice to meet you." I would say as I shook the hands of the npcs. Eventually I got to the church. I told them, "hey, doc, I got a curse of zombification that needs fixing, how much it cost." and then purified the death waters hold. High level town = high level clerics.
>After I was cured, I then proceeded to shake their hands with the un-ringed finger....
>Zombies and dead people EVERYWHERE! Because direct contact was made, the effects enacted much quicker, and my party all knew exactly what I did.
>"I know, we should get fixed, but the town is totally lootable right now, we should loot it."
>Rogues agree with me, cleric and warrior straight up attack me. They get back stabbed by the two rogues.
>"Sweet, free loot for us, high five?"
>"How about no?" The DM made them do an int check. They only needed 4 or better on a d20....
>one rolled a two, and the other rolled a 3....
>Before they could realize their mistake, I cast sleep on both of them.
>Entire table is cursing my name, i'm laughing as hard as a Santa Clause at poor people. Up until the point I got overrun and eaten to death by zombies.
>My last words were, "IF ONLY I HAD ADEQUATE MEAT SHIELDS!"

And that's the story of how I destroyed an entire town, attempted to mug a priest, and wiped our whole party because I decided I want to be a huge asshole for a game and see how it goes.
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+6
User avatar #8 to #6 - walcorn ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
Well it definitely suits your alignment
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#23 to #8 - myjunk (01/01/2016) [-]
>destroyed an entire town
In fact the town destroyed you first
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+88
#4 - anon (01/01/2016) [-]
Natural 20's should not make something that is completely impossible, possible. Nor should low rolls make something reasonable, impossible to do.

Rolls should not control the game. I get house rules and everything but it makes it more a game of who can roll the highest number rather than a game of role playing.
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#27 to #4 - xiontheshadows (01/01/2016) [-]
**xiontheshadows used "*roll picture*"**
**xiontheshadows rolled image** You all are antisocial neckbeards with no life and no job..... Where do I sign up!?
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-10
User avatar #28 to #27 - xiontheshadows (01/01/2016) [-]
NOOOOOO another bad roll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please forgive me FJ.
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+6
User avatar #32 to #28 - affix (01/02/2016) [-]
Whining about ponies just netted you more red than the pony.
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+1
User avatar #33 to #28 - jettom (01/02/2016) [-]
She is sexy AF though
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+2
User avatar #29 to #4 - craaabs ONLINE (01/02/2016) [-]
I personally disagree, I will sacrifice rules for fun at nearly every turn.
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+8
#25 to #4 - JustintheWaysian ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
jesus christ dude just let people play the way they want to play it.
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+18
#7 to #4 - anon (01/01/2016) [-]
that's great except what was shown here was totally possible
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+35
#10 to #7 - LordRaymond (01/01/2016) [-]
let's take the hobgoblin one as an example. It can be assumed that if the party was being spied on, the Hobgoblin's current attitude towards the party would be "Hostile" or at least "Unfriendly". It can also be assumed, given that a lone Hobgoblin is a roughly CR 1-2 encounter depending on equipment, that the party was also fairly low level or else dispatching it would have been trivial.

Now, in order to positively influence someone's opinion of you in game, you roll a skill check (d20+relevant modifiers) for Diplomacy, and aim to hit a "DC" or "Difficulty Class" relevant to what you're trying to do. In this case, engaging in sexual relations is almost certainly categorized as "Friendly" at the very least but for the purposes of this let's assume we had to go from "Unfriendly" to "Helpful". According to the chart ( www.d20srd.org/srd/skills/diplomacy.htm ) this requires a DC 40 Diplomacy check, which is far out of the range that even a highly optimized 1st or 2nd level character can hope to reach.

The hobgoblin in the story was obviously legitimately friendly towards the player due to the way it responded to hostile action, and thus Intimidate can't have been used in place of Diplomacy. Additionally, the rules actually do stipulate that while in terms of attack rolls, a natural 20 always succeeds and a natural 1 always fails, when it comes to skill checks there is no such rule. A natural 20 just means you got the highest possible result for you, a natural 1 means you got the loewst possible.
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+64
User avatar #14 to #10 - powerlesscheese (01/01/2016) [-]
you make the game sound boring as hell
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+6
User avatar #20 to #14 - therockofshame ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
I doubt he plays like that. He's just discussing the official rules is all.
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+5
#13 to #10 - anon (01/01/2016) [-]
That's all very true. It's also possible to stretch the rules a bit for the sake of fun and still have an engaging story overall. One of the PCs in a campaign I DMed jumped in a fire in the middle of a fight as a result of a nat 1 on a knowledge roll, and that camaign is one we all still talk about as having had a fantastic story. It doesn't have to be serious all the time.
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+1
User avatar #11 to #10 - nustix (01/01/2016) [-]
You can't blame them, I think most of the people who enjoy these stories never played a roleplaying game themselves. So all they know is 20 is good 1 is bad. Even if they played a session of DnD it's most likely because of those stories and they don't know the rules.
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+6
User avatar #16 to #11 - derpthefifth (01/01/2016) [-]
If the purpose is entertainment then what good are the rules if they get in the way of that? At some point it just starts to feel like a bunch of nerds who do math for fun finding excuses to force overly complex rules and math and learning on the rest of us less nerdy folk who just want to sit down and have a few laughs over a role playing game.

I mean, i understand that there need to be some rules but i think it's the responsibility of any good DM to figure out when the rules get in the way of the fun and on those occasions bend them if not just disregard them.
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User avatar #18 to #16 - nustix (01/01/2016) [-]
Sure I'm just pointing out why they wouldn't think of these rules. They exist to make the game balanced but ofcourse you can ignore it if you want. There are roleplaying games that don't use those rules at all and only using story telling.
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User avatar #30 to #10 - aximil (01/02/2016) [-]
So you just assume all Hobgoblins are hostile? Wow. Triggered!
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#15 to #10 - anon (01/01/2016) [-]
while some of the other things are technically true I disagree with your conclusion in the first paragraph. In some ways the world has to exist outside of the PC's or the world feels very artificial. Not every encounter has to a be level tailored to the party. It's not like once you reach 10th level, hobgoblins just disappear from the world.

Also while it's reasonable to thing that the hobgoblin was hostile or unfriendly initially it's also totally possible that it wasn't. It could have just been curious or had spied on the PC's earlier and developed a crush.
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+9
User avatar #12 to #4 - klina (01/01/2016) [-]
most people play the game in this way, which is why I don't really play all that much anymore

too many people thinking making a character that has his deity listed as "vin diesel", thinking it is a cool and never before thought of concept

where did all the true adventurers go :/
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+6
#19 to #12 - anon (01/01/2016) [-]
You have to find a good balance. I have had sessions that were so goofy that they were almost game braking and sessions that were so serious that we spent about 2 hours small talking between characters, no progress was made in that time.
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User avatar #31 to #12 - majestispaceduck (01/02/2016) [-]
I like a mix when i DM i have them follow all of the books on character creation, but if they want to make something new, like a spellblade (actual 50/50 between assassin and wizard) I'll work with them on making it reasonable, same for new gods, a cleric in ny party wanted a penguin god, and thus mep the merciless was born, he got bonus movement in snow and on ice and was forced chaotic neutral, however i let them also have their own fun, if they want to break down a session every once in a while to have fun with rolls i just let them know we're having a longer session next time to get some extra progression done, like i let someons roll to convince a bandit to go have a fist fight with a bear while they watched, that took 30 minutes and the bear was damn near dead when i rolled a nat 20 for an attack and just had it rip the bandit to shreds
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+3
#24 - wertww (01/01/2016) [-]
LONG AGO IN A DISTANT LAND....

I joined my first AD&D (aka 2nd edition or 2.0) with a new play group I recently met and thought to roll up a dwarf, later realizing that dwarves level hella slow comparatively. I rolled my stats and got 18/00, 12, 11, 14, 3, 9. So started the adventures of Foo-Vald, the simple minded dwarf. A little while later during the campaign, we were facing against some forest beasts and the spell caster cast some strange combination of spells that would essentially make me into a 4ft freight train moving mach 2. It was going good until I crit failed a charge. It was at that point Foo-Vald's journey came to an end. I apparently charged so fast that I accidentally launched myself into orbit. I was forced to roll a new character and be inserted at a later point in time, but there is the legend. If you ever look upon the night sky and see a shooting star, if you listen closely then you may here the cursing of a very simple minded dwarf.
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+3
#17 - malusdark (01/01/2016) [-]
Okay story time. Started playing D&D 5th in August, straight Fighter going into eldritch knight level 11. Party runs into Lich that we unwittingly freed from his prison. Well he was doing his big speech that we were worthy of being his horsemen, I look at our mage he nodded and cast heat metal or something along that lines that did damage if you're on it. Thus causing him to stand up right into my arms and as I swing him about and suplex him into his throne and just held him there till he burned to "death". DM was not expecting that to say the least.
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#34 - qmac (01/07/2016) [-]
no
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+1
#35 to #34 - stfuqmac (01/07/2016) [-]
stfu
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0
#36 to #35 - qmac (01/07/2016) [-]
no
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+1
User avatar #22 - ghostninjaguy ONLINE (01/01/2016) [-]
I remember one time I was playing DND with my college buds and we were fighting a Rust Monster, none of my crew was prepared for this but I had made my Lute of Bone and smacked it across the dungeon, I was the hero that day. I named My character Edward Rignarock after Eddie Riggs from Brutal Legend and he lives up to the name
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-2
#26 - plsthumbmeup (01/01/2016) [-]
wtf is this **** ??? no one even likes D&D on this site please stop posting this.



Thiumb me up for speaking the truth please
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User avatar #21 - thenewnuggubler (01/01/2016) [-]
Our party was once in the top level of a stone tower in the underdark, guards rushing up the stairs at us, very little time to react. As it turns out, our rogue had a sword forged from some Adamantium, that could somehow cut through stone. Rather than fighting through guards, we decided to just continuously cut holes in the floor to escape. We crushed a lot of stuff. It was a good time.

Another time (still in the underdark) we were in a cave system coming up on some Hookhorrors. I sent my gnome in after realizing that they relied on extremely sensitive hearing and used Thunderwave right next to it, which more or less was the equivalent of a couple hundred decibels right in your ears.
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-1
User avatar #9 - sedativechunk (01/01/2016) [-]
**sedativechunk used "*roll 1, 1-99*"**
**sedativechunk rolls 45** Rollin a 20 like a monk.
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0
User avatar #5 - parakeetman (01/01/2016) [-]
i was playing a no damage wizard named pumpkin, our party of 3 was tasked with finding and eliminating a werewolf that was terrorizing a small town. me and the paladin decided to wait till morning to go look for it, but the cleric decided to go out on his own to find it since we were adamant about staying in town. the cleric goes out and finds the werewolf and immediately loses. the DM decided to be nice and said the sun was rising and the werewolf (gonna shorten it to WW now) was turning back into his human form. the paladin and i decided to go out and look for the WW and we split up to cover more ground. i came across a cave and went in to find a human sitting by a fire with a pile of rags in the corner. i asked him "hey whats with the rags in the corner?" he replied "oh those....those are n-nothing...." after a brief moment i cast sleep on him and went to investigate the rags only to find the cleric, i turned around, picked up a large rock, and dropped it on the WW's head and dragged the cleric back to town.
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0
User avatar #3 - hurpfry (01/01/2016) [-]
******* hell, tumblr's format sucks
 
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