Witchcraft!!!
Campaign update
so. our bard Danny has retired and settled down with orc battle wench. to replace him we have the son of old man jenkins, an insane level 13 adventurer who believes witches stole his cows. he has never been a farmer nor owned cows and hes married to a witch. his son is no better.
so we set off into the wilderness. we come across a caged winter fey fairy thingy. everyone tries threatening it, but since im the inquisitor/witch hunter. i get the information with the following statement
"you will tell us what we want or i will smear kool aid over your face...and kiss you on the lips....you orange flavoured ************ ....."
he leads us to a shack in the woods, which is surrouned by a frozen lake filled dead ghosty types. obvously we aint having that ***** , we bust the door in, typical floaty dead doll being all spooky, brawler grabs her by the legs and starts slamming it against the ground screaming about shaking the baby till it stops flailing. accidently release the soul of the girl haunting it via ******* WITCH CURSE. Yay! good guy points.
we then spend 2 hours real time fighting a small air elemental and two mephits. **** THEM **** THEM **** THEM. eventuall the DM says " **** it they have a heart attack"
yay retard points!!
next fight i spend the entirety of it casting ear piercing screech at a pixy faggot oracal krusty horse vagina **** .
hate the fey
anyway rest of the party ends up almost getting asses handed to them by a troll who no one thought to use the alchemy fire on.
we win, loot a cave, meet herald of baba yaga, tells us to do her a solid and save her from some ****** civil war.
accidently get epic quest.
YAY EPIC RETARD POINTS
P.S **** witches and the fey
so. our bard Danny has retired and settled down with orc battle wench. to replace him we have the son of old man jenkins, an insane level 13 adventurer who believes witches stole his cows. he has never been a farmer nor owned cows and hes married to a witch. his son is no better.
so we set off into the wilderness. we come across a caged winter fey fairy thingy. everyone tries threatening it, but since im the inquisitor/witch hunter. i get the information with the following statement
"you will tell us what we want or i will smear kool aid over your face...and kiss you on the lips....you orange flavoured ************ ....."
he leads us to a shack in the woods, which is surrouned by a frozen lake filled dead ghosty types. obvously we aint having that ***** , we bust the door in, typical floaty dead doll being all spooky, brawler grabs her by the legs and starts slamming it against the ground screaming about shaking the baby till it stops flailing. accidently release the soul of the girl haunting it via ******* WITCH CURSE. Yay! good guy points.
we then spend 2 hours real time fighting a small air elemental and two mephits. **** THEM **** THEM **** THEM. eventuall the DM says " **** it they have a heart attack"
yay retard points!!
next fight i spend the entirety of it casting ear piercing screech at a pixy faggot oracal krusty horse vagina **** .
hate the fey
anyway rest of the party ends up almost getting asses handed to them by a troll who no one thought to use the alchemy fire on.
we win, loot a cave, meet herald of baba yaga, tells us to do her a solid and save her from some ****** civil war.
accidently get epic quest.
YAY EPIC RETARD POINTS
P.S **** witches and the fey
Tags: witches dunduh f
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