/tg/ D&D Tales 5

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/tg/ D&D Tales 5. The differences in the study of magic between races. RRRRIIIIDDDEEEE TTTTTHHHEEEEE LLLLLIIIIGGGGHHHTTTTNNNIINNNGGGG Best not question. Monster

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The differences in the study of magic between races.

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RRRRIIIIDDDEEEE TTTTTHHHEEEEE LLLLLIIIIGGGGHHHTTTTNNNIINNNGGGG

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Best not question.

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Monsters live in fear (not specifically D&D but i couldn't help myself)

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The most Magical of Realms.

Mice.

I Anonymous (/ 12( Wed) 20: 40
File: "-( KB, 600x600, wizardo, jpg)
My personal solution to the elf/ human mage dilemma is that humans give fewer ***** .
Elves can potentially live avery long time, and reproduce rarely. As a result, they lives precious. An elven wizard
spends decades apprenticed to a master, carefully, slowly learning the history, the thousand righteous lessens, the path of
harmonious channeling. To prevent the madness that can come hem power, the actual lessens in magetroll are rare; most days will
be spent on simple tasks, teaching humility and patience. Accidents are very rare.
Meanwhile, at the human wizard college, half the freshman evocation class just exploded, but the survivors can now cast fireballs PROGRESS!

...

+167

Views:	12430
Favorited:	31
Submitted:	01/04/2016

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#1 - iamchicken [OP](01/04/2016) [-]

stickied by iamchicken

All of my other Posts.

/channel/dungeons-n-drags/Tg+d+d+tales+1/faLgLsn/

/channel/dungeons-n-drags/Tg+d+d+tales+2/naLgLan/

/channel/dungeons-n-drags/Tg+d+d+tales+3/paLgLcn/

/channel/dungeons-n-drags/Tg+d+d+tales+4/waLgLjn/

/channel/dungeons-n-drags/Tg+d+d+tales+5/MbLgLZo/ - You are here.

/channel/dungeons-n-drags/Tg+d+d+tales+6/YbLgLLo/

/channel/dungeons-n-drags/Tg+d+d+tales+7/ebLgLro/

+16

#2 - alucardexplain (01/04/2016) [-]

How do you lose ten thousand mice?

+20

#3 to #2 - iamchicken [OP](01/05/2016) [-]

Very very recklessly.

+11

#4 - tenfinnvo ONLINE (01/05/2016) [-]

Here's another one.
Me- a half elf ranger- and my party consisting of a dragonborn rogue, an amnesiac Deva cleric, a dwarven warrior, and an Eladrin wizard, come across a tomb entrance while following a series of kobold traces. The entrance is a closed stone gate. The footprints show that they went into the tomb... but the gate is ashen and it looks like the kobolds disappeared or jumped into the then open tomb. Upon listening to the gate i hear a faint buzzing, so we figure it's a fire trap.
Now, the fact that we can disable magical traps with an appropriate rouge skill didn't appear in our minds due to it being our first ever campaign. So what we did was tie some rope around the rogue's waist and make him open the gate by kicking it in mid-jump, while we would pull him out by pulling the rope after that.
We failed, he got charred as **** , but gave zero ***** .
The same rogue, at another point of time, went into a rich person's room in the tavern to rob him.
The first time around he found some gold, although not much, and right after that he heard footsteps and cluttering keys.
R: I open the window and jump out.
DM: The window cannot be opened. It simply has no such function.
R: I break it and jump out.
DM: It's the second floor.
R: Did I ******* stutter?
So the rogue jumps out, fails his acrobatics roll and flops face first on the pavement. There are people that turned to see what's with all the noise.
So he jumps up, rolls for bluff and shouts "Did anyone see the thief?"
It was barely enough.
The second time around he didn't find any gold and, angered, squatted over the bed and **** on the pillow.
He then proceeded to hide under the bed.
After some waiting the drunken richman returned and, without bothering about taking his clothes off or lighting the candles (it was night), threw a coin bag on the table and then jumped headfirst onto the bed. When his face hit the **** he was shocked, and then trew up near the bed.
DM: The smell is horrendous. Roll for indurance or you throw up too.
*Failed roll*
R: **** . I roll for stealth to throw up while he's doing it so he doesn't notice me.
*Miraculously successful roll*
DM was yet again mildly entertained.
All in all in the entire campaign only my character and the dwarf could be considered normal. For example, the wizard got expelled from the academy because of his obsession with turning cats into piss.

#14 to #4 - belshir (01/05/2016) [-]

your story was thoroughly enjoyable, but cats into piss had me in creases

#15 to #14 - tenfinnvo ONLINE (01/05/2016) [-]

It was a theme that he made off the bat because he couldn't give a **** about backstories. I made a much better one for him on the go but he still tried to continue the piss theme.

#16 to #15 - belshir (01/05/2016) [-]

i really want to get into it because i used to play something similar with my friends when i was younger but now i became a normie and nobody i know is into it ; - ; instead i now get laid and drink... with less of the laying and muuuuuch much more of the drinking
does fj have a group for it?

#19 to #16 - YllekNayr ONLINE (01/05/2016) [-]

ask psychologyxplain
psychologyexplain

#17 to #16 - tenfinnvo ONLINE (01/05/2016) [-]

I honestly don't know, the guys I played it with are in the same university as me and we were classmates before that. They're moderately nerdy and combine the lifestyles of drinking and laying with playing tabletops.

#18 to #17 - belshir (01/05/2016) [-]

never let them go

#21 to #16 - psychologyxplain (01/05/2016) [-]

PM me for the Skype join link

#24 to #21 - renespar (01/06/2016) [-]

if I may ask, what time do you guys normally have sessions, cause I'd like to join if it's friday/saturday/sunday

#27 to #24 - psychologyxplain (01/07/2016) [-]

All throughout the week

#28 to #27 - renespar (01/07/2016) [-]

interesting

#29 to #28 - poprunner (01/11/2016) [-]

Never played DnD, but I'd be right chuffed to watch the denziens of FJ play it

#13 - demented (01/05/2016) [-]

The fantasy toilet demon reminded me of this gem.

#7 - anon (01/05/2016) [-]

Oh look, people who don't know jack about the Mythos trying to start a " **** yeah humanity" thread by making wildly incorrect assumptions.

Not much is known about the various alien races that predate humanity, or about the various horrors that still lurk on our planet, but one thing is known: none of them fear humanity. Cthulhu and his ilk lie dreaming in R'lyeh because they are waiting for the stars to align. What exactly they are waiting for and why they are waiting for it I do not know, but they are essentially immortal.
The Deep Ones who worship Cthulhu could easily wipe out humanity if they wanted, but since they live in the deep ocean and don't give a **** about the surface, they just don't care enough to waste time dealing with us. If humanity starts interfering with their business, they'll slaughter us all in a heartbeat.
Our predecessors, the species that inhabited the Earth before us and the species that created us, got wiped out by another creation of theirs called a shoggoth, and let me assure you that humanity is gonna be ****** ten ways to Sunday if/when the shoggoths make their way to the surface. The things are basically Ditto from space Hell, and that's much more terrifying than it sounds.

There's a lot that I missed/left out, but the theme of Lovecraft's work is that humanity is a small, insignificant speck in an ancient and terrifying universe. Most " **** yeah, humanity" posts rely on the assumption that humans are gonna end up being the plucky underdogs in a Disney movie, defying all the odds to come out ahead. That's cute and all, and it helps some people think that they should be proud of being human even though being proud of something you had no control over is ******* idiotic but that's an argument for another time , but it's the antithesis of (more realistic) attitude Lovecraft had.

#8 to #7 - angelious (01/05/2016) [-]

well to be fair humanity nowadays is a lot stronger than in lovecrafts ways...but even then, the guys who created humans: elder things.

are so technologically advanced, that even some of the elder things that had been in stasis for millions of years were far too advanced to even begin to realize humans were sentient (as in their technology is so advanced compared to ours that they didnt recognize our technology as something created by sentient beings)

and even then, even if our technology has catched up enough that we could actually fight back againts elder things and cthulhu. it should be noted that cthulhu is basically just the pope. and the actual gods that he worships are far FAR worse than he is.

#10 to #8 - anon (01/05/2016) [-]

Exactly. There are beings that could unmake the world on a whim and these idiots talk of silver bullets and giant knives. The greatest weapons we could throw at the Old Ones would be so insignificant that they wouldn't even notice them... if we were lucky. If we were unlucky, they might briefly look at us and then annihilate us as if we were nothing more than a mosquito buzzing about their heads.

#11 to #10 - angelious (01/05/2016) [-]

well i think rest of them actually changed the subject from the old ones and started talking about common mythology instead. and unmaking the world is putting it slightly..since for instance azathos himself for example, is creating universes in his sleep. and would easily also destroy these said universes if he woke up...

#22 to #11 - samlease (01/05/2016) [-]

So, basically, though ants can and have killed humans before (usually helpless babies), it is far more likely for a human to kill an entire ant colony without injury. That is, if said person even notices/cares enough to do so.

#23 to #22 - angelious (01/05/2016) [-]

yeah except...you could compare a single ant to be the entire human race, when compared to their tech.not to mention the elder gods themselves. because while the elder things still felt curiosity at what humans are, and actually studied them for a short while when they woke up. humans, live only because there is only a few elder gods that care or even notice the existence of humanity.

and the human is equipped with a flame thrower that burns down everything the moment the human makes notice that it exist...

#12 - Tafixados ONLINE (01/05/2016) [-]

Oh, so you people are using this channel now?
Before they used to post in /channel/tabletopgames or /channel/dungeontime
No wonder i thought everyone lost interest in D&D

#20 to #12 - YllekNayr ONLINE (01/05/2016) [-]

this channel's been around for over 3 years now

#6 - rogueninja (01/05/2016) [-]

Does anyone have the story where the party enters some underwater temple and the DM starts making them all paranoid by killing people and bringing them back?

#5 - snakephallus (01/05/2016) [-]

Who the **** even worships Cthulu? He's just some ****** half-cocked God on the lower rungs of the Lovcraftian Lore. Azathoth or the Great Old Ones are much better choices.

#9 to #5 - angelious (01/05/2016) [-]

cthulhu is the pope. a lot of people think the pope is cool...

#25 to #9 - snakephallus (01/06/2016) [-]

Try more along the lines of a senior priest or Bishop. He's weak in the terms of the Lovecraftian Omniverse, and Nyarlothep would be the Pope since he is the literal avatar of Azathoth.