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Tabletop Quotes

 
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Tabletop Quotes. This one's from my first session ever, a Call of Cthulhu game. The things we say to get the players to be quiet... If the DM is Mexican, you mu

This one's from my first session ever, a Call of Cthulhu game.


(Enlarge)
Tabletop Quotes. This one's from my first session ever, a Call of Cthulhu game. The things we say to get the players to be quiet... If the DM is Mexican, you mu

The things we say to get the players to be quiet...


(Enlarge)
Tabletop Quotes. This one's from my first session ever, a Call of Cthulhu game. The things we say to get the players to be quiet... If the DM is Mexican, you mu

If the DM is Mexican, you must know how to do things in Spanish properly around him.


(Enlarge)
Tabletop Quotes. This one's from my first session ever, a Call of Cthulhu game. The things we say to get the players to be quiet... If the DM is Mexican, you mu

Don't even ask how this one came up.


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Tabletop Quotes. This one's from my first session ever, a Call of Cthulhu game. The things we say to get the players to be quiet... If the DM is Mexican, you mu

Gotta thank my roommate and his willingness to help me learn to DM for this one.


(Enlarge)
Tabletop Quotes. This one's from my first session ever, a Call of Cthulhu game. The things we say to get the players to be quiet... If the DM is Mexican, you mu

Another Call of Cthulhu one, thought the plot explained this away eventually.


(Enlarge)
Tabletop Quotes. This one's from my first session ever, a Call of Cthulhu game. The things we say to get the players to be quiet... If the DM is Mexican, you mu

Ah, homebrew races, Snow-Elves were my first and most memorable try. I still use them to this day.


(Enlarge)
Tabletop Quotes. This one's from my first session ever, a Call of Cthulhu game. The things we say to get the players to be quiet... If the DM is Mexican, you mu

A funny exchange that occured, probably the most memorable one yet.

events and Sketch is c, i?, " i,,, r' viii) 5] dating
simulator dti
sketchtoy 2 Well, I' d, least life tox_ kno
So, what do you defer a living?"
construction“’ worker."
...
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Submitted: 03/27/2015
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+40
#1 - matexius ONLINE (03/27/2015) [-]
I want more of this ***** !
I want more of this ***** !
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+2
User avatar #123 to #1 - jackmanagan (03/28/2015) [-]
i was the person in the group that wrestled the tiger.

DM: "yer gunna have to roll pretty high to be ab-"
20
"...."
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+1
User avatar #130 to #129 - jackmanagan (03/28/2015) [-]
damn right
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+5
User avatar #36 to #1 - sketchyz [OP](03/28/2015) [-]
Let me run a few more sessions with my players, they do stupid **** 24/7.
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0
User avatar #53 to #36 - bewailedbadger (03/28/2015) [-]
Can you mention me, if you do any more of these?
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+3
#120 to #53 - sketchyz [OP](03/28/2015) [-]
Sure, I'll mention both of you from now on.
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+1
#144 to #120 - willielilja (03/28/2015) [-]
Dear Christ, i wanna get in on that!
Dear Christ, i wanna get in on that!
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+1
User avatar #147 to #144 - sketchyz [OP](03/29/2015) [-]
Added you and satansferret to the list.
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+1
User avatar #122 to #120 - satansferret (03/28/2015) [-]
Me too?
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+19
#29 - orelse (03/28/2015) [-]
I've had players seduce Dragons. That **** can be ******* awkward with the right Player...
The **** I've been forced to RP as DM...
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0
User avatar #102 to #29 - rogueantihero (03/28/2015) [-]
2 of my players would regularly get drunk and have try to get with any chick at the bar, unfortunately for them when they're drunk they have a tendency to roll low so i gave them traps a few times and now they don't do it as much anymore
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+4
User avatar #30 to #29 - sketchyz [OP](03/28/2015) [-]
Forget that, when they regularly hit on NPCs that you have to voice and RP as if they were genuinely interested in the PC...
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+25
User avatar #35 to #30 - orelse (03/28/2015) [-]
I had a Player that seduced virtually anything he could communicate with and a tremendously high Charisma once...
Believe me, I have stories about Fernando Sexwillow...
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+7
#127 to #35 - kloudianorici (03/28/2015) [-]
Just do this to them.
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+2
#37 to #35 - sketchyz [OP](03/28/2015) [-]
Good Lord, I feel ya.
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+4
User avatar #38 to #37 - orelse (03/28/2015) [-]
I takes a strong and patient individual to DM, friend.
Either way you walk away with stories.
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0
User avatar #149 to #35 - opinionexplain (05/04/2015) [-]
Currently in the middle of a Module with a character named Fedorable DankWizard. (He demands you refer to him by his full title everytime you address him) He has incredibly high charisma, he ***** everything and anything.
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User avatar #100 to #35 - arreatface (03/28/2015) [-]
do stories
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+1
User avatar #103 to #100 - orelse (03/28/2015) [-]
Ehh, if there were enough interest I might. But as it stands I've tried to forget Fernando, the most awkward PC I've ever DMed...
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+16
#42 - orangepikmin (03/28/2015) [-]
I'm playing a skeleton barbarian in a new campaign. It's going to be filled with tons of puns though, so I really hope that no one has a bone to pick with me for that.
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0
User avatar #142 to #42 - ljxjlos (03/28/2015) [-]
We once had a chance to steal some stuff from a dragon. I went in their, sneaking, my barbarians stormed in with drawn swords waking the dragon.
I survived by dressing up as a goddamn skeleton.
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+1
#125 to #42 - thumpingbear (03/28/2015) [-]
Be sure to name him Bonan.
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+3
#128 to #42 - kloudianorici (03/28/2015) [-]
Here's some ideas for your ridiculous skelington antics.
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+12
User avatar #40 - madzombiie (03/28/2015) [-]
i got frostbite on my dick in my campaign. it then had to be amputated thanks to **** rolls, and the dm didnt let me use it to make a penis arrow.
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+17
User avatar #49 to #40 - miia ONLINE (03/28/2015) [-]
worst DM ever
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+1
User avatar #50 to #49 - madzombiie (03/28/2015) [-]
i agree comepletely
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+1
#41 - morkoelorko (03/28/2015) [-]
i'm going to DMing my first game in a couple of weeks, any tips and/or recommendations? I'ts Anima btw
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0
User avatar #45 to #41 - theshinypen (03/28/2015) [-]
Anima is a pretty fun. Very complex though. Best advice i can think of is dont feel rushed. Your players are patient and will entertain eachother while you are setting something up
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0
User avatar #48 to #41 - miia ONLINE (03/28/2015) [-]
steampunk spaceships
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0
User avatar #51 to #41 - coledunk (03/28/2015) [-]
take it easy at first, its seems easy when your the player but even when youre using a module it takes a good amount of prep. I found out trying to make my own campaign that coherent dungeons are harder to made then it seems
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0
User avatar #52 to #51 - coledunk (03/28/2015) [-]
also dont try to make the campaign "super epic" from the start story wise, pacing the cool content though out will make it easier on you and wont desensitize your players to the clever fun things you might end up doing.
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0
User avatar #105 to #41 - alexandrz (03/28/2015) [-]
Always remember the rule of awesome.
If something sounds ******* awesome, curb the rules to allow it, but don't make it blatant. Players will always have fun when the GM is actively trying to let them do what they want, but if you don't enforce limits then they're just gonna ruin the game and no-one's gonna have a good time.
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+1
User avatar #57 to #41 - sketchE (03/28/2015) [-]
relax, have fun, dont be a dick. give your players challenges but always give them the oppertunity to succeed. the way i look at it your players are writing a story that youre narrating. i want my players to succeed in their goal but by god am i going to throw a wall at them with a man sized hole in it. also try not to railroad and dont retcon **** because it messes up your story unless it completely derails the campaign. i had a big fight planned in the thrown room of an enemy castle. i made the mistake of leaving the king there. he gets roared to death like the high king of skyrim and now one of my players has a nation at his command
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+15
User avatar #43 to #41 - random asshole (03/28/2015) [-]
if you ******** hard enough and claim it was planned, the players will think you are a genius
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0
User avatar #44 to #43 - random asshole (03/28/2015) [-]
also ******** a lot, its amazing
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0
User avatar #117 to #89 - jimmytwoshoes (03/28/2015) [-]
i wish i coulda had a chance to roll diplomacy for my dragon... DM made me **** that dragon... at least i got some decent loots out of her...
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+5
User avatar #5 - pkmnexplain (03/28/2015) [-]
internetexplain dndexplain jokexplain comicexplain
I summon thee, Streaming DnD Campaign while Admin is our GM?
I'm sure DnD Explain and I can make a simplier version of it.
Might be a good party
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0
User avatar #6 to #5 - comicexplain (03/28/2015) [-]
Hrm.

Hrrrrrrrrrrrm.
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0
User avatar #86 to #5 - dndxplain (03/28/2015) [-]
dndxplain.
not dndexplain.
whore.
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0
User avatar #145 to #86 - pkmnexplain (03/29/2015) [-]
sorry D:
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User avatar #107 to #86 - deusinsanus (03/28/2015) [-]
Do you play regularly?
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User avatar #108 to #107 - dndxplain (03/28/2015) [-]
I have six games a week. technically seven, but two of them are on the same day, every other week
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0
User avatar #109 to #108 - deusinsanus (03/28/2015) [-]
I want to live in your world. How long do those games usually last?
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0
User avatar #110 to #109 - dndxplain (03/28/2015) [-]
four hours on average
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0
User avatar #111 to #110 - deusinsanus (03/28/2015) [-]
In person or online?
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User avatar #112 to #111 - dndxplain (03/28/2015) [-]
online, using a combination of skype and roll20.net
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0
User avatar #113 to #112 - deusinsanus (03/28/2015) [-]
Do you know any people who want another player? My group recently lost their DM, and I really miss playing.
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0
User avatar #114 to #113 - dndxplain (03/28/2015) [-]
ask psychologyxplain
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0
User avatar #115 to #114 - deusinsanus (03/28/2015) [-]
I will, thank you for the tip.
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+3
User avatar #7 to #5 - internetexplain (03/28/2015) [-]
sure , is there a chat too? cause I got no mic for voice chatting
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+3
#8 to #7 - pkmnexplain (03/28/2015) [-]
that's..kind of a problem
most of it it's the roleplaying
without voice we got no **** on how your character acts

and knowing admin things happen faster and random, dunno if you'd have the time to react
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0
User avatar #10 to #8 - internetexplain (03/28/2015) [-]
yeah that sounds like thats gonna suck for me
well I have been roleplaying for years now , in chatrooms and games (not necesarrily RPGS)
but I got a fairly good reaction time.
since I never had a mic to begin with , but often talked to people who did , i learned how to type fairly fast , however , the faster i type , the less coherent my speech becomes in terms of grammar , logic and spelling
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0
User avatar #11 to #10 - pkmnexplain (03/28/2015) [-]
kek.

I'm sure if admin is ok with it we can make something out
could be a nice evening
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+2
User avatar #12 to #11 - internetexplain (03/28/2015) [-]
sounds great , or , I'll ask my brother if he can lend me a mic , I mean , I'm a technology illiterate , he however built his own PC without instructions , and learned how to fine-tune it with certain programs , he can even write some simpler programs himself , he's got ********* of computer parts , including headphones and **** , so I wouldnt be surprised if he got a spare mic
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+1
#13 to #12 - pkmnexplain (03/28/2015) [-]
he can build you one
he can build you one
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+2
#14 to #13 - internetexplain (03/28/2015) [-]
**internetexplain used "*roll picture*"**
**internetexplain rolled image**

I wouldn't be surprised if he could , just where he got the materials from
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0
#15 to #14 - pkmnexplain (03/28/2015) [-]
**pkmnexplain used "*roll picture*"****pkmnexplain rolled image** nice roll!
**pkmnexplain used "*roll picture*"**
**pkmnexplain rolled image** nice roll!
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0
#16 to #15 - internetexplain (03/28/2015) [-]
**internetexplain used "*roll picture*"**
**internetexplain rolled image**

smuganimeface.jpg
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0
User avatar #19 to #17 - internetexplain (03/28/2015) [-]
welp turns out he doesnt have one , so uh , where and how do I even join the party?
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User avatar #20 to #19 - pkmnexplain (03/28/2015) [-]
I'll let you know eventually
gotta make sure admin and the explains are ok with it
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#22 to #20 - internetexplain has deleted their comment [-]
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+1
User avatar #23 to #22 - pkmnexplain (03/28/2015) [-]
eventually means in the next couple of days
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User avatar #24 to #23 - internetexplain (03/28/2015) [-]
that's quite the span of time , woulda been nice if you hinted at that earlier, you cant really blame me for assuming we'd be doing this within the next couple minutes based on the summon.
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User avatar #25 to #24 - pkmnexplain (03/28/2015) [-]
sorry, these things tend to take a long time to plan out because I don't know if anyone is going to partecipate, I'll let you know in the next few days
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+1
User avatar #99 to #25 - dndxplain (03/28/2015) [-]
the only day I have available anymore is thursday, any week.
games every other day m8.
also, comicexplain you're playing
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0
User avatar #27 to #25 - jokexplain ONLINE (03/28/2015) [-]
Sounds like fun. I have a ****** , ****** mic and nothing to do on tomorrow or the next day basically
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0
User avatar #26 to #25 - internetexplain (03/28/2015) [-]
aight thanks m8
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+3
User avatar #116 - greenimp (03/28/2015) [-]
P: "I'll just latch onto the underside of the ship"

GM: "Ok, how are you doing that?"

P: "I'll burrow my beard into the wood."

GM: "You'll what now?"

P: "Well my last-name IS Gloriousbeard."



The same character from the same campaign was introduced to us with:

GM: "You see a Dwarf lying on the sand."

P: "I'll give him a hand up"

GM: "Underneath him you see a zombified, un-attached arm. It's moving about."

P: "I reach for the arm."

Dwarf: "That's private." *Hurridly stuffs zombie arm into his pack*
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+3
#106 - pwnagraphy (03/28/2015) [-]
I'll repost my experiences with ruining somewhat serious campaigns

I play Druid or Beastmaster Essentially a Druid/Barbarian mix. Usually Orc whenever I play with my friends. Always have a companion animal of some kind for Story reasons/meat shield

I seem to have the luck of Christ himself when it comes to rolls, so the DM, having had enough of my **** when me and my pet T-Rex ****** a Demon Assassin into submission and called it the will of the Forest God, decided recently that my rolls will become mirrored on my pet

I get a 20, he gets a 1
I get a 10, he gets a 10
I get a 1, he gets a 20, etc

This has resulted in my Spirit Wolf stabbing himself with a knife, my Shark drowning, my Great Eagle being afraid of heights, recently on my Neutral Evil Druid, my Underdark Giant Tarantula having Arachnophobia while fighting in a House of Mirrors during the Summer Solstice Carnival

The start of this was probably when I rolled to seduce the Drow Queen. Since I wasn't paying attention, I rolled for my pet Owlbear thinking it was my turn. So I did what any sane man would do when an Owlbear gets a 20 for seduction on the queen of a hostile race. I transformed into a bigger Owlbear and took the front
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+1
#141 - kinokun ONLINE (03/28/2015) [-]
I like how he is looking down at his boot like ohh yea I forgot about that...
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+1
#135 - chaoticlaw (03/28/2015) [-]
When my party got ****** up by a Prismatic Dragon, I asked if my brawler could attempt to calm it, since I had a Toe-Ring of Translation. He didn't give a **** and let me roll. I hit 20, and accidentally seduced the ******* thing. I asked to reroll, but he was too busy laughing like the cunt he was to answer.


So yeah, had a Dragon join our party, and had it constantly try to **** me. Would've been fine, had it not done that **** in the middle of all our battles.
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User avatar #148 to #135 - theguniaofdoom (04/01/2015) [-]
10/10
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User avatar #133 - fawcks (03/28/2015) [-]
TBH I wanna try playing DnD but have no idea where or how to start.
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+1
User avatar #137 to #133 - alexstraza (03/28/2015) [-]
roll20.net

Look for games that advertise as new player friendly.
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+1
#104 - darkjustifier (03/28/2015) [-]
>dragon
>receiving end
DM you act like dragon porn isn't always relevant.
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+1
#39 - raptorjesusdiedfor ONLINE (03/28/2015) [-]
~"You want to do what with this sausage?"

~*Rolls nat 1 whilst flirting, ***** pants.*

~"I groped her one time, she doesn't need to be so scared."

~"I didn't stab myself I swear!"


I love my Dnd Character Maggie
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0
User avatar #78 - dndxplain (03/28/2015) [-]
ah yes, I remember when danae got frostbite on her vagina. that's when we forgot about the fact that she was a bard

if you're curious, I'm danae
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0
User avatar #138 - youngneil (03/28/2015) [-]
How does DnD work? Can you make up a campaign for whatever you want? I've seen people talking about Fallout based campaigns, and other weird **** like that, just not sure if it was DnD or some other variant of the game.
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User avatar #139 to #138 - ragingspacepanda (03/28/2015) [-]
there are pre-made campaigns you can play, but many DM's choose to make their own.
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User avatar #136 - funkycow (03/28/2015) [-]
"Should I roll to Suplex the giraffe?"
followed shortly by
"You would't let me suplex that truck atleast let me have this."
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User avatar #132 - numbertwozeldafan (03/28/2015) [-]
Also forgot what I said when we stumbled into a dungeon containing a Shae (in a Pathfinder Module):

"I swear to god the first one of you who says 'I try to seduce her' is getting a Fire Axe shoved up your ass."
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User avatar #134 to #132 - warzon (03/28/2015) [-]
"I trie to seduce Him."
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User avatar #131 - numbertwozeldafan (03/28/2015) [-]
Memorable:

"Alright, can we PLEASE stop throwing [The Goblin Rogue in the party] at random people?"

"If these minotaurs wanted to live, then why are they trying so hard to run into our weapons?"

"No, driders are NOT friendly. They are more likely to take you as a slave or KILL you than be your friend. Stop bringing it up."

Followed weeks later by:

"I befriended a drider"
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0
User avatar #126 - riddlerenigma (03/28/2015) [-]
Their needs to be this with games like Werewolf or Munchkin. That would most likely be hilarious!
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