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#127
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nerdking ONLINE (12/16/2015) [-]
Alright y'all bunch a ******* , listen the **** up or I'll break your damn kneecaps. Hear tell of the mightiest character that was ever conceived: Thundak The Trustworthy.
Thundak the Trustworthy was a Dragonborn Sorcerer, capable of wielding great magics due to his draconic bloodline. Also, he was a half dragon. A half dragon dragonman with the blood of a dragon, he had 20 strength, 20 charisma, and an AC of 16 as the group's caster. He was the embodiment of cheese. Now, early on, Thundak rolled a 20 on a search check in the local noble's castle, and discovered a ring of +2 Charisma. With a Charisma of 22, Thundak's ascent into godhood did begin. First, he convinced the local noble, a wealthy Duke, that this land belonged not in fact to the royal family, but to an old bloodline of dragons of which Thundak was a part. Thus, he gained control over a large and comfortable Duchy at level 3. Putting the townspeople to work, he managed to mine out a significant chunk of Adamantine resting deep beneath the earth, in addition to many gems and a supply of silver.
With his newfound wealth, Thundak and the party quickly continued to amass political power, with the party going through and assassinating key political figures to maintain a certain level of combat in the campaign. Things were fairly reasonable, until we hit level six. At level six, the DM hid some ******** magical items behind in the cave of a mighty giant. Now, the idea was for us to run from the giant, and come back later only to find the cave obliterated and the magic stolen by the campaign's big bad, a nasty Warlock planning on bringing his eldritch patron into the world. The giant quickly proved too great a threat for the party, so Thundak did what any high charisma character should do.
"You know, DM, this giant is pretty lonely up here, alone in this mountain, right? Can I convince him that it's because nobody loves him?"
"Sure, it's gonna' be hard, because you know, he's trying to kill you, but you can try,"
Rolled a natural 20.
The giant, mighty though he was, broke into tears. A horrible sadness overcoming him, which was only the first part of Thundak's grand plan. "You know, giant, I bet if you were to die, things would get better for you in the astral plane,"
Another natural 20, and the giant slit his wrists with an axe.
I convinced the boss of the early game to kill himself, and found the item that allowed the true ******* to begin: after a roll of 98 on the d100, I find a potion that will double any one stat for one week.
Of course, I picked charisma, and it was a wonderful time.
Thundak was everything.
He was the rogue, because he could talk open locked doors and convince traps to shut themselves off.
He was the group's caster already, but he was now stupidly good at it.
He was the group's healer, because he persuaded wounds to close.
But it was the bravest gambit that worked the best. While visiting the temple of Kord, Thundak knelt at the alter, and put all of his charismatic powers into a single prayer, "Grant me great strength," he prayed, and Kord, convinced by Thundaks 44 Charisma, was swayed. Divine power infused him, granting him incredible strength and mystical might, however, it would not stay. In fact, Thundak used it all up to do a single feat: make his mighty charisma last forever.
In this attempt to use my new powers to make my others permanent, I rolled a 5, and lost my divine powers in the process, but managed to achieve my goal. With this, I then moved on to a new level of cheese.
We had a bard in the party, who also had incredible charisma. Now, one 15+20 Persuasion roll later, I had persuaded the bard for his soul. I took this, and consumed it, adding his own stats to mine.
My charisma was now 60.
With my unstoppable persuasion, I proceeded get up on a podium, and preach that I was a god.
I hit the character limit. If you all want more, gib green thumbs.
Thundak the Trustworthy was a Dragonborn Sorcerer, capable of wielding great magics due to his draconic bloodline. Also, he was a half dragon. A half dragon dragonman with the blood of a dragon, he had 20 strength, 20 charisma, and an AC of 16 as the group's caster. He was the embodiment of cheese. Now, early on, Thundak rolled a 20 on a search check in the local noble's castle, and discovered a ring of +2 Charisma. With a Charisma of 22, Thundak's ascent into godhood did begin. First, he convinced the local noble, a wealthy Duke, that this land belonged not in fact to the royal family, but to an old bloodline of dragons of which Thundak was a part. Thus, he gained control over a large and comfortable Duchy at level 3. Putting the townspeople to work, he managed to mine out a significant chunk of Adamantine resting deep beneath the earth, in addition to many gems and a supply of silver.
With his newfound wealth, Thundak and the party quickly continued to amass political power, with the party going through and assassinating key political figures to maintain a certain level of combat in the campaign. Things were fairly reasonable, until we hit level six. At level six, the DM hid some ******** magical items behind in the cave of a mighty giant. Now, the idea was for us to run from the giant, and come back later only to find the cave obliterated and the magic stolen by the campaign's big bad, a nasty Warlock planning on bringing his eldritch patron into the world. The giant quickly proved too great a threat for the party, so Thundak did what any high charisma character should do.
"You know, DM, this giant is pretty lonely up here, alone in this mountain, right? Can I convince him that it's because nobody loves him?"
"Sure, it's gonna' be hard, because you know, he's trying to kill you, but you can try,"
Rolled a natural 20.
The giant, mighty though he was, broke into tears. A horrible sadness overcoming him, which was only the first part of Thundak's grand plan. "You know, giant, I bet if you were to die, things would get better for you in the astral plane,"
Another natural 20, and the giant slit his wrists with an axe.
I convinced the boss of the early game to kill himself, and found the item that allowed the true ******* to begin: after a roll of 98 on the d100, I find a potion that will double any one stat for one week.
Of course, I picked charisma, and it was a wonderful time.
Thundak was everything.
He was the rogue, because he could talk open locked doors and convince traps to shut themselves off.
He was the group's caster already, but he was now stupidly good at it.
He was the group's healer, because he persuaded wounds to close.
But it was the bravest gambit that worked the best. While visiting the temple of Kord, Thundak knelt at the alter, and put all of his charismatic powers into a single prayer, "Grant me great strength," he prayed, and Kord, convinced by Thundaks 44 Charisma, was swayed. Divine power infused him, granting him incredible strength and mystical might, however, it would not stay. In fact, Thundak used it all up to do a single feat: make his mighty charisma last forever.
In this attempt to use my new powers to make my others permanent, I rolled a 5, and lost my divine powers in the process, but managed to achieve my goal. With this, I then moved on to a new level of cheese.
We had a bard in the party, who also had incredible charisma. Now, one 15+20 Persuasion roll later, I had persuaded the bard for his soul. I took this, and consumed it, adding his own stats to mine.
My charisma was now 60.
With my unstoppable persuasion, I proceeded get up on a podium, and preach that I was a god.
I hit the character limit. If you all want more, gib green thumbs.
#149 to #148
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nerdking ONLINE (12/23/2015) [-]
Meh, I was going to push a little more, but it's Christmas.
Now, at this point, things really started going my way. I stood on a street corner, preaching my divinity for to all who would listen, I held the d20 in my hand, and let the die roll.
It was a 1. A critical failure.
The party was arrested by the church for heresy, and thrown in a dungeon to rot. Unfortunately for the church, they assigned Thundak a guard to insure he didn't escape. Thinking quickly, Thundak convinced his guard that he needed to open the door, let Thundak out, and lock himself inside the cell. After that, the party proceeded to fight their way out of the church eventually stopping at the Altar of Kord once more to pray for forgiveness and gain pardon for their heresy...Or at least, that was the plan.
Things went awry, when the fighter, wizard, and rogue all biffed their rolls to appease the god of war, and wound up personally and irredeemably offending him so much, that he came down from the Astral Plane to personally wipe the party. It seemed like it would be the end of us, so Thundak tried something incredible.
Thundak claimed that Kord was a potato, and that he was in fact Kord. Why not, we were going to die regardless.
Until I rolled a 20.
There was a boom of thunder and a flash of light, as the mighty Kord realized that he was naught but a lowly Potato, and transferred his divinity into me. Now, like any good party member, I transferred this power out amongst the party, and we decided that our new objective was to replace the gods as masters of existence.
Now, at this point, things really started going my way. I stood on a street corner, preaching my divinity for to all who would listen, I held the d20 in my hand, and let the die roll.
It was a 1. A critical failure.
The party was arrested by the church for heresy, and thrown in a dungeon to rot. Unfortunately for the church, they assigned Thundak a guard to insure he didn't escape. Thinking quickly, Thundak convinced his guard that he needed to open the door, let Thundak out, and lock himself inside the cell. After that, the party proceeded to fight their way out of the church eventually stopping at the Altar of Kord once more to pray for forgiveness and gain pardon for their heresy...Or at least, that was the plan.
Things went awry, when the fighter, wizard, and rogue all biffed their rolls to appease the god of war, and wound up personally and irredeemably offending him so much, that he came down from the Astral Plane to personally wipe the party. It seemed like it would be the end of us, so Thundak tried something incredible.
Thundak claimed that Kord was a potato, and that he was in fact Kord. Why not, we were going to die regardless.
Until I rolled a 20.
There was a boom of thunder and a flash of light, as the mighty Kord realized that he was naught but a lowly Potato, and transferred his divinity into me. Now, like any good party member, I transferred this power out amongst the party, and we decided that our new objective was to replace the gods as masters of existence.
