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#102
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silentark (01/04/2016) [-] 
Reminds me of my very first campaign.
-First time playing, make up a dwarf fighter with AC18 at lvl1 DM learnt very quickly that while I was a DnD noob, years of carefully reading WH40k codexes meant I knew how to twist words and a penchant for booze and gold.
-First mission, come to a locked door with boss hiding somewhere on the other side.
-My dwarf, being of the drunken disposition decide to do what he does best; bashing **** .
Pity I wound up moving only a few weeks in, had a blast with it and nobody to play with out here.
-Roll a 3 to force the door; wind up face-planting into the door and falling down.
-Had a dick of an elf in party who though it was the best time to try piss on me while I was down.
- ******** .jpg. dex rolloff and somehow rolled 18 against 5.
-Decide to punch him in the nuts as revenge.
-Nat 20, DM tells elf to take endurance check, he rolled a 1
-Tables FW elven dick and balls are pulverised into nothing under might of sturdy dwarven steel-backed fist.
-No healing gonna bring that back.
-I be a nice sport though and buy a whore for 'Steve the dickless elf' in every large town/city we pass through.
-First time playing, make up a dwarf fighter with AC18 at lvl1 DM learnt very quickly that while I was a DnD noob, years of carefully reading WH40k codexes meant I knew how to twist words and a penchant for booze and gold.
-First mission, come to a locked door with boss hiding somewhere on the other side.
-My dwarf, being of the drunken disposition decide to do what he does best; bashing **** .
Pity I wound up moving only a few weeks in, had a blast with it and nobody to play with out here.
-Roll a 3 to force the door; wind up face-planting into the door and falling down.
-Had a dick of an elf in party who though it was the best time to try piss on me while I was down.
- ******** .jpg. dex rolloff and somehow rolled 18 against 5.
-Decide to punch him in the nuts as revenge.
-Nat 20, DM tells elf to take endurance check, he rolled a 1
-Tables FW elven dick and balls are pulverised into nothing under might of sturdy dwarven steel-backed fist.
-No healing gonna bring that back.
-I be a nice sport though and buy a whore for 'Steve the dickless elf' in every large town/city we pass through.
#111 to #108
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silentark (01/04/2016) [-] true, though got **** to do for a couple of weeks, swipe a few more rulebooks before i get back into it.
Damn it was fun though, by the time I finished I had a dwarf eldrich knight who, due to a lack of foresight on the DM's part, and some diplomacy, wound up in full platemail with a +1 shield and a +2 longsword, shield had a bear trap strapped to it we ruled it as once per fight the wielder can either deliver a 2D6+S attack OR use it as a reaction to latch onto an enemy weapon after a failed attack, effectively disarming them, plus i get to keep whatever it snags, which at that point my armour plus shield of faith for a total of 23AC, meant it happened often .
Also after he lost a bet with a wizard, he was cursed never to wear pants.
Damn it was fun though, by the time I finished I had a dwarf eldrich knight who, due to a lack of foresight on the DM's part, and some diplomacy, wound up in full platemail with a +1 shield and a +2 longsword, shield had a bear trap strapped to it we ruled it as once per fight the wielder can either deliver a 2D6+S attack OR use it as a reaction to latch onto an enemy weapon after a failed attack, effectively disarming them, plus i get to keep whatever it snags, which at that point my armour plus shield of faith for a total of 23AC, meant it happened often .
Also after he lost a bet with a wizard, he was cursed never to wear pants.
